[NF] Meaning of Phrase "I really like you a lot."

[CzeCze]

What do you think it might me when an infp says, "I really like you a lot" after he turns his head to the side. Could it more... or should I just take the statement literally?

Depends on if it's followed by a pregnant pause and the word "BUT"

 

[Crescent Fresh]

When I was at college, my crush said, "I love you" to me face-to-face at a bar. And I walked away (I really hate surprises, especially unexpected one because I don't know how to handle it).


Now I really regret of not initiated back.

 

[copperfish17]

What keeps you from taking what the INFP said literally? Just the head-turning thing?

I would assume he meant it. Could be my preconceived notions kicking in, but I can't really see an INFP saying such things without meaning them.

 

[runvardh]

My feeling is that he's testing where you are at about your relationship and the smiles are more directed at how much more nervous about it he is than what you look like - less sadistic and more self depreciating.

 

[21%]

If you sometimes catch him staring at you adoringly when you talk then he likes you

I can imagine INFP guys getting very nervous around people they like. You are probably also guarded about showing emotions, so he can't tell if you're just being nice or if you like him. Before I got together with my INFP I thought my signals were that obvious, but he told me later that he had no clue.

 

[StillWaters]

As an INFP, I've done what your guy has done (though I'm a girl). I didn't realize statements like that could be seen as ambiguous. It means he likes you a lot. The head turning thing is probably because he's feeling vulnerable.

As for whether or not it's a romantic liking, you have to look at the context of your relationship. If you're dating, then he means it in a romantic way. If you're just friends, he could mean it in a friendship sense OR a romantic way.

I recently stated to a friend "I care about you a lot" because I was about to bring up a sensitive topic with him and I didn't want him to feel attacked, and I was bringing it up out of caring. It doesn't sound like that sort of conversation is what you're talking about, though. It sounds like he was responding to your statement of caring for him.

 

[Tantive]

When he says I really like you allot, he really means he really likes you allot.

 

[Meek]

Lololol, that sounds like cute typical infp behavior for someone who likes you.
The turning of the head to me, sounds like they're very shy and embarrassed after saying it to you.

 

[knight]

What do you think it might me when an infp says, "I really like you a lot" after he turns his head to the side. Could it more... or should I just take the statement literally?

What does "I really like you a lot" mean to you?" infps or any other nf. Thanks for your thoughts.

it means he or they are certain to the depth and intensity that they like you

 

[BAJ]

I don't know. I doubt I can answer this without projecting my own feelings in the body of your dude, and that would not be valid or sane. In my case, I'm probably pretty sheepish about saying things to someone. I like you, but I want to run away. I like you, but I fear you can't go there...so I risk destroying what is already there. Etc. I probably could write a book about what I feel...but I'm not him.

In my case, I'd write you about it, probably. In fact if you are not my "journal person" to whom I write, you are probably not the one.

Also, can the INFJ - INFP relationship thing work? I mean I imagine it can, but I just don't have any experience myself, so I'm curious.

 

[Udog]

My thoughts are that he's pretty into you. A shy expression of "I like you a lot" to express a deeply held desire is the type of thing I might have done, if given the opportunity. The fact that I'd try to contain such deep emotions in words that don't really say anything at all is also the type of foolishness I'd think of doing, too. Heh.

As far as his smugness, that might have just been satisfaction in having his suspicions (and possibly wishes) of your feelings confirmed. You may have confused satisfaction in seeing you squirm simply with satisfaction that you liked him romantically.

I don't like how he looked away when he told you that he liked you a lot. It either means he's lying (although based on the greater context, that seems less likely) or that he was unable to be present and connect with you as he was expressing his emotions. By not looking you in the eye, he was able to remain in his head.

Honestly, what to do next depends on what you need and want. If you are happy trying to solve the "what does he feel" mystery, then by all means continue on. However, if you are done with the game playing and are ready for something real, I think you've earned the right to call him out. As I see it you've showed him yours, and now it's his turn to show you his.

If you want to tailor suit your approach to compensate for INFP Fi shyness, then by all means, ask him if he shares your feelings, and then give him a bit of time to reply.

 

[InTheFlesh]

My feeling is that he's testing where you are at about your relationship and the smiles are more directed at how much more nervous about it he is than what you look like - less sadistic and more self depreciating.

Yah, I agree with this. I only know one INFP well, and he is least likely out of all the people I know to be sadistic.

 

[21%]

Also, can the INFJ - INFP relationship thing work? I mean I imagine it can, but I just don't have any experience myself, so I'm curious.

It can... At least I'm hoping so. I've been with my INFP for almost 3 years now and we're trying to survive a seemingly-unending long-distance at the moment. You need lots of adjusting and acceptance on both sides, but we've worked through quite a lot of issues already. If we were in a more favorable real-life situation right now the relationship would be absolute bliss

 

[Lauren]

My thoughts are that he's pretty into you. A shy expression of "I like you a lot" to express a deeply held desire is the type of thing I might have done, if given the opportunity. The fact that I'd try to contain such deep emotions in words that don't really say anything at all is also the type of foolishness I'd think of doing, too. Heh.

This is what I would do too. I think I've made an art of it In one instance I told someone I had deep feelings for that we had always been friends and then expected he would read between the lines when I elaborated on the things we had shared.

 

[INTPness]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBFaNkvrp0g

 

[kyuuei]

For me.. this is a 'safe phrase'.. Saying "I love you." is something heavy, and implies a lot.. I like you a lot is more loose, and fluid.

There is no mistaking an "I love you."
"I like you a lot" .. can be followed with ".. but not like that." or "and I'd like to see where this is going".. It's just a safer phrase. Easier for people to go back too.. and say "Yeah, I said I LIKE you, but that didn't mean x!"

It's easy, and safe.. but not efficient at getting across exact, confirmed things.

 

[Qlip]

If you watch enough Japanese language shows, you know this means pretty damned close to "I love you".

 

[FunnyDigestion]

What a strange thread. What else could it mean besides what it says?

 

[FunnyDigestion]

What a strange thread. What else could it mean besides what it says?

Sure, it could fractionally mean bits of some other, additional weirder things, but you wouldn't say it unless what it was in itself was the emotional majority of what you wanted to say.

 

[Sizzling Berry]

If any resemblance INFP-INFP helps:

I would never use that phrase with a guy that I'm not attracted to. I would be too scared of confusing and leading him on (emotional gore).

On the other hand with the guy I'm attracted to... yes (hoping that he will see what the phrase means).

And when I do the smug in a situation like that inside I am like:

OMG, OMG, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, oxygen, oxygen, aaaaaa, breathe, where is the damned water (a pleasant emotional overload).

OR: really, do you see it like that, I'm freaking disappointed but i'm going to keep my face straight (handling a blow).

SMUG usually means a revelation with huge emotional impact. Whether the impact is positive or negative can be recognized by emotions accompanying the smug: wild happiness, little sweet awkwardness, sadness, anger...

And did he add "But..." after the phrase?