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[NF] xNFP not sure how to distinguish Fi projection from true Ne

I Never Find Peace

New member
Joined
May 21, 2011
Messages
15
MBTI Type
xNFP
Enneagram
4w5
Very self-protective xNFP here. I swing between E and I on the test and get 51%-55% either way most times. I identify with both ENFP and INFP descriptions. Certain situations seem to propel me towards one or the other.

Falling in love seems to be one of the things that makes me more introverted because I don't want to get hurt. I'm in that situation now, and the person I feel that way about is an INTP. We are close friends and we've been sleeping together lately, so it's not like I have a crush on some stranger who I don't know or understand all that well.

However, my first awareness of the depth of my own feelings came from me interpreting some of his words and actions as meaning that he has feelings for me. It looked for all the world like Ne was asserting itself, and I have actually been acting very extroverted lately, so that would be the first thing that pops up, as I understand the functions.

Fi seemed to quickly follow, with much overthinking about how I really feel about him, and a very reluctant conclusion that I'm falling in love with him. (The reluctance has to do with some of his convictions, which I think would end up hurting me but are more manageable in a friendship).

So now I'm wondering if my first inkling, which seemed like Ne, was just wishful thinking and projection because of flip-flopping to introversion due to a fear of getting hurt.

I don't know if any of you can answer this question directly, but I'm hoping maybe you can help me recognize the differences between Fi and Ne. This latest scenario is just one example of a dynamic that has happened before and caused me a lot of stress every time.
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
Welcome to the world of ANFP!! (Ambiversion). Hopefully you will have an easier time deciphering your type than I have!
There is a ton of threads on E/I nfp that you will probably wan't to mull through. Since your Dom and Aux functions can be so high, you might want to look at your tertiary vs inferior function. (Atleast, this is what I've been analyzing lately)... and remember that social extroversion and cognitive extroversion are different. You might be a louder, very social, engaging INFP, or more of a shy and loner-ish ENFP. Either way, NFP's and NTP's seem to have good compatibility thru shared NP.

Good luck! Welcome to the forum!
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
:hug:

sometimes Fi and Ne blend so closely together that i cannot tell them apart. it's like humid air - with Fi being the water and Ne being the sky. they become interwoven.

this sounds like a very typical pattern to me. Ne says "oh hey that might mean this" and then Fi launches in. the only thing i can say is that Ne doesn't wish or hurt or dream. Ne just sees and wonders. if you were looking and it was tugging at your heart, it was probably Fi leading Ne. if it was a surprise - a "huh" sort of thing - and the heart tug came later, even if we're talking mere seconds later - it was probably Ne followed by Fi.

personally, i know i'm NeFi because curiosity almost always leads. ideas come first, then feeling.

i think you're right with your first identification... the thing about Ne is that it can see and interpret patterns, it just can't verify them. perhaps the pattern you picked up on was one of him showing feelings towards you, but then perhaps it was random coincidence. Ne has no way of knowing if a sequence 8 9 5 6 7 3 is random or if _ 9 _ 6 _ 3 means something in there. it could be either... randomness entails patterns sometimes.

the only thing that i can say for certain is that i have lived with 1 INTP for 19 years and another INTP for 14 years and they are not quick to show affection.

i guess the question now is... what do you want?
 
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