• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[Jungian Cognitive Functions] How is your compassion?

Elfa

Señora Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
267
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Are you compassionate towards yourself? It may be easy to treat someone else with love and understanding, but how is it when is about your own fails, sufferings and flaws? Do you treat yourself kindly, with understanding and love, or do you put yourself down and turn on your self-critical voice in your head? :huh:

Self-compassion is different from self-pity - this one many people are afraid of, and, when they mistake compassion for pity, people leave compassion out of use. Self-compassion is "simply" turning one's compassion to oneself, and has three basic ingredients: self-kindness, that is being kind and warm towards oneself; common-humanity, that is recognizing that your pain and imperfections are part of the human experience; and mindfulness, that is a non-judgemental stance towards emotions, in a balanced and not extreme way.

Here you can test your level of self-compassion!
Test how self-compassionate you are | Kristin Neff


And here is my Overall score: 1.70
That's not very good... but I'm working on it. :)

Say what you think! I would love to read opinions! :D
 
Last edited:

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
2.23

Yeah, I know my flaws well... The one positive I can get out of it is it helps being compassionate towards others (not that I'm bragging about that.. it just helps). Although, I can lack compassion if someone starts griping on a generalized level. That annoys me. If I encounter someone drowning in negativity, they should have reasons for it (even if those reasons seem blown out of proportion, it helps me understand them. I just don't want to hear any existential crap. People like that seem to be willingly hopping on some emo train.. Hell, some even make money from it).
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Hmmm, when I first saw this thread I read the title as "How is your comprehension?" and didn't understand what it was asking...

Anyway, 3.94!? Ok, so lately I've been trying to be less harsh on myself. Guess it's working out. Might have to do this test again when I'm in a worse mood though :)
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Self-Kindness: 3.40
Self-Judgment: 2.40
Common Humanity: 3.75
Isolation: 3.00
Mindfulness: 3.75
Over-Identification: 2.75
Overall score: 3.46

I tend to bottle up aspects of my emotional self, even from myself, because there are a number of times when I feel I need to be the pillar. It's not to sell myself short, and it actually has an air of omnipotence in relation to other people and their emotions, but it does leave me deprived of the usual level of openness and coping mechanism that people are readily willing to use. Same token, I notice a lot of those people who have the openness aren't versed in the coping aspect, and end up having less compassion toward themselves in the end. :huh:
If I'm feeling down, I'll try to rationalize it. I will acknowledge that many people have worse issues, but at the same time acknowledge that I need to allow for my emotions at times since they are my own and equally as important, regardless of the gravity of situation I deal with vs others. Etc. Course I genuinely like who I am, am a firm believer in self-awareness/self in general, and have gotten fairly far out of the "I'm A Burden" phase of life lol.
I approve of this thread, heaps :yes:.
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Self-Kindness: 1.40
Self-Judgment: 3.60
Common Humanity: 1.75
Isolation: 4.75
Mindfulness: 2.25
Over-Identification: 5.00
Overall score: 1.68



I suppose I need to work on treating myself better more than I've expected. :(
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Apparently I love me, but I judge myself quite a bit.

Self-Kindness: 4.00
Self-Judgment: 2.40
Common Humanity: 4.25
Isolation: 3.25
Mindfulness: 2.50
Over-Identification: 3.75
Overall score: 3.23
 

Vasilisa

Symbolic Herald
Joined
Feb 2, 2010
Messages
3,946
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Isolation: 4.75
Over-Identification: 3.25
Self-Judgment: 2.80


Mindfulness: 3.50
Common Humanity: 3.25
Self-Kindness: 2.80


Overall score: 2.79 (2.5-3.5 indicates you are moderate)
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
I tried to fill it up, but I couldn't. Main reason:

When things are going badly for me, I see the difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through.
When I'm down and out, I remind myself that there are lots of other people in the world feeling like I am.
When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people.

I really don't see anything positive in comforting myself with the fact that so many people all over the world are is serious pain right now. I get the point, yeah, I should see that I am not the ONLY ONE suffering, but it just seems wrong to ease my pain with the fact that there is pain all over.

This is weird too:
When I think about my inadequacies, it tends to make me feel more separate and cut off from the rest of the world.

I feel separate from the society even if I'm happy.

I try to be loving towards myself when I'm feeling emotional pain.

What does that mean?
 

The_World_As_Will

New member
Joined
May 18, 2010
Messages
415
Self-Kindness: 3.40
Self-Judgment: 1.80
Common Humanity: 2.75
Isolation: 3.50
Mindfulness: 4.75
Over-Identification: 2.00
Overall score: 3.60
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
3,932
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Self-Kindness: 3.20
Self-Judgment: 2.60
Common Humanity: 3.50
Isolation: 4.00
Mindfulness: 3.25
Over-Identification: 4.25
Overall score: 2.85

Probably about what I would have expected or a little better. Seems I have a tendency to feel very isolated when things go badly, and to view one bad thing as a pattern of all the bad things that have happened in my life or not gone as I hoped. Pretty much what I thought!
 

Elfa

Señora Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
267
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
I really don't see anything positive in comforting myself with the fact that so many people all over the world are is serious pain right now. I get the point, yeah, I should see that I am not the ONLY ONE suffering, but it just seems wrong to ease my pain with the fact that there is pain all over.

The conforting thing in knowing that are people in pain too is remembering that you're not alone, many people suffer, just like you, they passed through it and you can pass through too. Your pain is normal and will have an end, like happens to everyone. It's different that saying to yourself "many people suffer more than me, so I have no right to think I'm suffering" - I don't know if that's your case, but it's something I used to do always, and now I'm trying to stop. The intention of this would be not feeling so isolated from the rest of humanity, it's ok to feel like you feel.


I feel separate from the society even if I'm happy.

I'm really sorry to hear that. :(

What does that mean?
It means that, when you're in emotional pain, you don't talk yourself down, you don't beat yourself up for the very things you have understand and warmth for others, you don't isolate yourself from your supporters nor ruminate over the thing that caused pain. Being loving would be warm and understanding toward your pain, rather than ignoring it or self-flagellating.

Ok? :huh:
 

Elfa

Señora Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
267
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
It's not to sell myself short, and it actually has an air of omnipotence in relation to other people and their emotions, but it does leave me deprived of the usual level of openness and coping mechanism that people are readily willing to use. Same token, I notice a lot of those people who have the openness aren't versed in the coping aspect, and end up having less compassion toward themselves in the end.

I got the part of lack of coping and less compassion, but what kind of openness do your mean? Is it like being open to what oneself feels and talking about it?
 

Within

Permabanned
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
1,369
Self-Kindness: 2.00
Self-Judgment: 3.20
Common Humanity: 2.00
Isolation: 2.00
Mindfulness: 4.00
Over-Identification: 1.75
Overall score: 3.18
 
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Self-Kindness: 1.00
Self-Judgment: 4.60
Common Humanity: 1.00
Isolation: 5.00
Mindfulness: 1.00
Over-Identification: 5.00
Overall score: 1.07

Sad, isn't it? I've never realised I'm so bad to myself...have to do some work and learn to accept myself...or something along those lines.
 

Falcarius

The Unwieldy Clawed One
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,563
MBTI Type
COOL
Self-Kindness: 3.80
Self-Judgment: 3.20
Common Humanity: 3.50
Isolation: 3.00
Mindfulness: 4.00
Over-Identification: 2.50
Overall score: 3.43
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
The conforting thing in knowing that are people in pain too is remembering that you're not alone, many people suffer, just like you, they passed through it and you can pass through too. Your pain is normal and will have an end, like happens to everyone. It's different that saying to yourself "many people suffer more than me, so I have no right to think I'm suffering" - I don't know if that's your case, but it's something I used to do always, and now I'm trying to stop. The intention of this would be not feeling so isolated from the rest of humanity, it's ok to feel like you feel.

Yeah, I wanted to bring this distinction up. It is a lot different to say "Pain is a part of life" on a general level, than start thinking about individuals in pain, and specific scenarios. It seems that from the questions in the quiz you could easily come to either of these ideas.

I'm really sorry to hear that. :(

Don't be. It is a result of the choices I've made consciously. Thus I will take the responsibility of the consequences. And mind you, I didn't say I am disconnected from the individuals or from the nature. I see the society as something I wouldn't want too much to do with. Again, I was pointing out here, that the "disconnected with the world" is quite an ambiguous idea, and doesn't actually tell much about a person's happiness. I'm not unhappy being disconnected from the society, since most of it is an illusion trying to keep me inside a certain behavioral pattern. The real in the society are the individuals, and I'm not disconnected with them. Except in the case when they have related themselves with their social role so much that they can't be called individuals anymore.

It means that, when you're in emotional pain, you don't talk yourself down, you don't beat yourself up for the very things you have understand and warmth for others, you don't isolate yourself from your supporters nor ruminate over the thing that caused pain.

Isn't this more like being open to other people's love?

Being loving would be warm and understanding toward your pain, rather than ignoring it or self-flagellating.

I don't think love is the word for that... Forgiveness would be a lot better, since it requires seeing the truth and accepting it without encouraging it.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I got the part of lack of coping and less compassion, but what kind of openness do your mean? Is it like being open to what oneself feels and talking about it?
Mm Emotional openness, yes. I can talk about the subjects that bother me or upset me, but it's near-impossible for me to become emotional about them in the presence of others. While this can cause an ability to damage control myself, rather than needing outside damage control, it can also force me to appear as the pillar to others.
Sad, isn't it? I've never realised I'm so bad to myself...have to do some work and learn to accept myself...or something along those lines.
This is exactly why I liked this test. Though I know I'm pretty good to me, the questions made me think about it a bit more and have some revelations.
Also- :hug:
 

KDude

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2010
Messages
8,243
I think I'm partly bad to myself because of believing some things to be true, by a certain common standard (or, "standards"). That sounds pretty non-Fi, doesn't it? I really shouldn't care.. :thinking:

I'm not sure how to put it.. I just feel like the weight I throw on myself sometimes isn't even my own. Shoulds and should nots pertaining to class, masculinity, achievement, good looks... to name a few. I'm not even sure it's an MBTI related thing either. I can even go on a site like this and find dozens, if not hundreds, of NFs promoting the same things I want to get away from elsewhere. I especially have compassion for others who've been hurt by it too. If there's one thing I can be proud of, I was the kid who didn't mind being friends with the other kid who had burn scars. I'm proud that when people tried to ditch a person behind, I blew up on them. Yet, when I think about it alone, I realize where I fail too.. I reminisce on all of the people and situations that have insulted me over the years - and take a bit of it to heart. Sometimes rejection hurts, y'know. I think that maybe I'm just a loser, who's poorly adapted to the ways of the world. I can't seem to play the game well, and no matter how much I fight it, nothing changes either.
 

Elfa

Señora Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
267
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Yeah, I wanted to bring this distinction up. It is a lot different to say "Pain is a part of life" on a general level, than start thinking about individuals in pain, and specific scenarios. It seems that from the questions in the quiz you could easily come to either of these ideas.

Oh, ok. That may lead to some confusion.

Don't be. It is a result of the choices I've made consciously. Thus I will take the responsibility of the consequences. And mind you, I didn't say I am disconnected from the individuals or from the nature. I see the society as something I wouldn't want too much to do with. Again, I was pointing out here, that the "disconnected with the world" is quite an ambiguous idea, and doesn't actually tell much about a person's happiness. I'm not unhappy being disconnected from the society, since most of it is an illusion trying to keep me inside a certain behavioral pattern. The real in the society are the individuals, and I'm not disconnected with them. Except in the case when they have related themselves with their social role so much that they can't be called individuals anymore.

Being disconnected really doesn't tell much about someone's happiness, but I find sad the idea of feeling completely alone. Feeling isolation may not be the great reason for someone feeling bad, but certainly isn't something that makes one happy. If the real in society are the people, so feeling isolated from society isn't feeling isolated from people? If you don't feel disconected from the people, I guess it's good...

Isn't this more like being open to other people's love?

Isn't allowing yourself to be open to other people's love an act of love towards yourself?

I don't think love is the word for that... Forgiveness would be a lot better, since it requires seeing the truth and accepting it without encouraging it.

Isn't forgiveness and act of love?
 

Elfa

Señora Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2011
Messages
267
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Mm Emotional openness, yes. I can talk about the subjects that bother me or upset me, but it's near-impossible for me to become emotional about them in the presence of others. While this can cause an ability to damage control myself, rather than needing outside damage control, it can also force me to appear as the pillar to others.
I see... I don't know if acting like you do is a MBTI type thing, but I know an ENFJ who acts something like that.

This is exactly why I liked this test. Though I know I'm pretty good to me, the questions made me think about it a bit more and have some revelations.
Also- :hug:

I'm really glad that the test made you and some people think. It made me think myself too. :)
 
Top