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[ENFP] ENFPs, love, obsession, or myth???

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
TRUE! I dont want to sound pretentious, but YES many people fall in love with me. I just want to know them as a person, but they end up falling in love with me, without me doing anything to bait them.
You know its frustrating!! This is especially true, if its a male friend whom you like, but they want it to go beyond friendship and that ruins things. I mean cant we know a person at a human level?? Why does romance have to come into it.
Im seriously tired of people falling in love with me. I mean give me a challenge plz!! Let me make the first move or show interest in you, why do you have to fall on me! arghhh.
I also had stalkers stalking me to international countries! Holidaying where i holiday etc....so yes its not a good feeling. Plus its not a good feeling rejecting the other person too. So its not an easy life.

( I sound so arrogant, but what i mean to say is its frustrating when ppl throw themselves at you and think you feel the same way about them as they do about you- not knowing there are levels of intimacy with an ENFP).
That's not love, that's infatuation. ;)

ENFP + good looks = stalker magnet

lol.
 

disregard

mrs
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
7,826
MBTI Type
INFP
Oops I just repped Alcearos with what I meant to say to elfinchilde:

INFP's have dom Fi, not Fe.
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
EsTP
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6w7
I tend to make friends fairly easily, but haven't been dating too much recently, only 19 though. There are many girls who I'd say are interested in me, I always have wonderful conversations with these girls. I don't think it's all sexual attraction, but we certainly make good friends! :D

I think it is because I am a guy that I don't have a crap-load of people asking me out. There is a girl who I'm really good friends with (most likely ISFJ) who has told me openly that she would never want to be the one to ask someone out.. since that is the guy's 'job'. In fact, she was telling me about this one guy she liked who she tried to give hints to ask her out.. but as far as I know.. things don't really seem to work out.

This is something I have to do myself and I am pretty careful about who I decide to date actually.. as an NF.. when I fall in love, I fall in love hard. People have also said that I'm a fairly good-looking guy. I think the experience is different for ENFP girls and ENFP guys. Something that may be hurting me a little right now is that during first semester, I would depend on the hookup scene for 'intimacy' even though it was obviously short-term and no romance was involved. I think this hurts because people likely see me as a party-boy who isn't interested in dating right now, especially since I haven't taken much initiative. I'm not the sort of person who likes talking about my feelings either, which was part of the reason why I thought I was a T at first.

Another idea is that I'm afraid of rejection and past experiences have made me nervous about asking a girl out.. even when the signs seem obvious, I don't want to ruin the friendship we already have.
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
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That's it!
Everybody hates ENFP's online but loves in the real world.

I dunno.
You guys seem pretty sweet! Let's :party2: it up!
 

Lateralus

New member
Joined
May 18, 2007
Messages
6,262
MBTI Type
ENTJ
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3w4
That's not love, that's infatuation. ;)

ENFP + good looks = stalker magnet

lol.
I've been sorta stalked a couple times, but nothing serious. I guess it probably would have been a lot worse if I was female.
 

The Third Rider

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
763
MBTI Type
ENFj
Well from the ENFP that I know I can see why people would fall in love with them, but I have to say that she is also a flirt and her kindness and affection can easily be taken the wrong way. So even though I am not sure that I know other ENFPs but from the 1 that I know I guess you guys might seem to come across a little too nice and "interested" eventhough you are not.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
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^grrrr

in our defense, that's the *perceiver's* problem/fault, not *ours*.

How dare anyone accuse me of being too nice/sincere, what, should I have been more fake???


*I hate getting "punished" for my sincerity, yuck!*
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
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I know I am taking a big leap here, but reading stuff like TTR's post remind of people who argue that women who were victims of rape were kinda asking for it by wearing such short skirts.

Disgusting, incorrect, wrong!!!
 

Hexis

New member
Joined
May 14, 2007
Messages
1,442
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ENFP
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6w7
I know I am taking a big leap here, but reading stuff like TTR's post remind of people who argue that women who were victims of rape were kinda asking for it by wearing such short skirts.


WHAT!?!? Its NOT there fault, wow I should really stop listening to my penis!
:doh:
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
I know I am taking a big leap here, but reading stuff like TTR's post remind of people who argue that women who were victims of rape were kinda asking for it by wearing such short skirts.

Disgusting, incorrect, wrong!!!

I don't think that's what he was saying. He's just saying some people take niceness and interest in general for romantic interest. Especially if the person in question doesn't generally get a lot of attention from others. I've had that happen so many times b/c I was just nice to someone for an extended period of time. It's annoying, but it won't change the way I interact with people.
 

The Third Rider

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
763
MBTI Type
ENFj
I know I am taking a big leap here, but reading stuff like TTR's post remind of people who argue that women who were victims of rape were kinda asking for it by wearing such short skirts.

Disgusting, incorrect, wrong!!!


Silly, I am not telling you to change the way you are, God knows we need nicer people in this world, I am merely facilitating an answer from my very humble point of view as to why ENFPs are so enchanting.
 

Mondo

Welcome to Sunnyside
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Messages
1,992
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EsTP
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The Third Rider: Thanks! I just lost five seconds I could have spent not procrastinating my paper! :p
 

autumn

New member
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
106
MBTI Type
eNFP
To be an INFP, you have to have strong Fe, right? But Fe is one of my weakest scores, second only to Si. :rofl1: If it helps any, my Ni, Se, Fi and Ti are all quite strong. Ne is strongest for me. Am not extroverted tho; people wear me out. Esp crowds. elfie gets nervy in crowds.

No, to be an INFP, you need to have strong Fi. Fi is the INFP's dominant function, with Ne as auxiliary, followed by tertiary Si and inferior Te.

autumn
 

SolitaryWalker

Tenured roisterer
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,504
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Some of my guesses as to why our friends, (or my friends at least), or the people we casually date fall for us...

-We're fun

-We're exciting

-We're passionate

-We're attentive

-We're great conversationalists

-We're sensual

-We're kind

-We're goofy, and witty

-We're easy going

-We're eccentric in a good way

-We're amazing, ;), ;)

-We have a way of making people feel good about themselves

-We make the person feel comfortable, "just being themselves"

-We are pretty confident as far as people go

-We are charismatic

-I don't know about others, but I know that I am generally deemed as being attractive

-Oh, and we are uncharacteristically, humble, lol. :D

:dont:
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
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ENFP
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4w5
Awesome Blossom!

Wing, my *absolute* favorite!!!!!
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Wow, apparently we have some hot people lurking as ENFPs on the forum. I need to meet you all IRL!

I don't think I get people to fall in love with me, then again, I'm quite oblivious to certain things. I thought ENFPs had a hard time accurately figuring out what people think of them -- but maybe it's me needing to perfect my NeTi. I have good perceptions in general but when it comes to things that I'm invested in, I over do it and do the typical ditzy, infatuated school girl thing.

Also, regardless of whether or not people think I'm an awesome blossom (are those like bloomin onions? 'Cause those are good!) the people who I would really like to make fall madly in love with me rarely do. Those ungrateful bastards with bad taste.

Hahahahah. There's some fireball fodder for you Aelan! ;)

BTW, guys who get stalkers are hot.

There.

I said it.

:ninja:

Hahahahahaha.

I will say though, from and ENFP perspective, I think we get a taste of our own medicine in the INFJ? I have met INFJs (or an ENFJ who had a very pronounced I) who really make you fall for them with their kindness and attention, even though they have no romantic interest in you. Freakin' playboys. Hahahaha.

I even talked to one of my male friends who had a chronic habit of making girls fall for him HARD left and right, unintentionally and unbeknownst to him. They were often troubled, lost, a tad bit unstable, or still searching for an identity and I think he was like an anchor or savior to them. It was not healthy or nor an equal dynamic -- the women were projecting and latching on to him as opposed to seeking self-improvement.

I told him as much and that the right thing to do was to nip things in the bud unequivocably instead of leading them on unintentionally, which just does a total mindfuck on people. Good guy that he was, he really did want to save them! :doh: Guys like that do not get lucky in love, btw. Awesome morally principled guy, questionable decisions.

Then again...maybe he was INTP?
 

Electric

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2008
Messages
80
MBTI Type
entj
The thing about ENFPs that cracks me up is how they try to CONTROL you by being nice. Sure, they are popular and innocently looking to any stranger. They may be accepting of a person's authentic self. They may even give anyone free rides. However, all this is a front they use to exploit people to the wiles of their self centered influence. Yeah, those free rides they give you aren't actually "free". Like the ENTPs who have the best bullshitting skills, ENFPs have a less exact, but equally dangerous power to get what they want through calculating people's emotions. Well, that's quite an overstatment, but is it? How do I know this? I'm an ENTJ with a close ENFP friend and I think that's good perspective there.

As an ENTJ whose suppose to have supreme "leadership" skills, the ENFP would be equal in a certain way. While the ENTJ's leadership is built on securing the future for everyone, the ENFP's leadership is built on something unknown, probably sinister. With their popularity and cult leader likeness, they will manipulate people towards their desires. This is comparable to the ESFP who wants everyone to like them and directly dominates any special event. The ENFP is much more discreet and furtive. This is more dangerous than the ENTJ's direct seizure for control IMO. Think about Lex and Lionel Luther. Lionel Luther was a dangerous man, but Lex was even more so. Why? Lex was much more secretive and did not give warnings before he attacked.

Disclaimer: This only applies to bad enfps. bad=almost all
 
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