[ENFP] ENFPs, love, obsession, or myth???

[disregard]

I think extroversion is very misunderstood.

 

[Grayscale]

I think extroversion is very misunderstood.

i dont understand what you mean by this

 

[targobelle]

UM?????

where did all these enfp's come from???

lol

enfp's just are y'know. does that make sense????

 

[SillySapienne]

People seem to think that being an ENFP is all about this

But it is more like this,

...

......

...............



................

.......

...

 

[targobelle]

um yes yes it is


*sigh*

you're forgetting the

 

[Nameless]

People seem to think that being an ENFP is all about this

But it is more like this,

...

......

...............



................

.......

...

Awesome to know that this isn't just me, lol

 

[elfinchilde]

don't know that many ENFPs, so i may be mistaken, but from the ones here: it seems to me as though ENFPs value inner feelings more--as in, their sense of wellbeing is highly dependent on how the world perceives them?

So ENFPs would be charming, because they are highly energetic, bright and sensually warm, since it is affection they crave in return?

But the flakiness (pastries! ) probably comes about because they are insecure: when your sense of self is dependent upon the subjectivity of Ne-Fi, that would likely throw one into a loop. Likely to be initially enthusiastic but weak in following through. Charmingly scattered people, perhaps.

And will act out on the world around them when down, which makes it even worse. Third function Te implies the need to impose your thinking upon the world; however, applied in shadow means sometimes wanting to destroy all around out of frustration.

Si as the child: means refuge is sought in the safe and familiar. Likely sentimental folks then. With a tendency for nostalgia and clinging on, especially if the past brought warmth and affirmation.

Dana and Nameless sound more grounded/balanced to me, in the sense that they do not need to seek affirmation from everyone, only from those they respect. (perhaps the degrees of T and F here matter. Are both of yours more balanced on the T/F scale than CC, Hexis and perhaps tarabell??).

the above is just a guess. don't shoot me, ENFP flameballs.

 

[alcea rosea]

I know we are pretty much the cupid of personality types and relationships, especially intimate ones, are our biggest concern.

I think ENFP's are very different in this aspect.
I am not very much what you describe.

 

[SillySapienne]

don't know that many ENFPs, so i may be mistaken, but from the ones here: it seems to me as though ENFPs value inner feelings more--as in, their sense of wellbeing is highly dependent on how the world perceives them?

So ENFPs would be charming, because they are highly energetic, bright and sensually warm, since it is affection they crave in return?

But the flakiness (pastries! ) probably comes about because they are insecure: when your sense of self is dependent upon the subjectivity of Ne-Fi, that would likely throw one into a loop. Likely to be initially enthusiastic but weak in following through. Charmingly scattered people, perhaps.

And will act out on the world around them when down, which makes it even worse. Third function Te implies the need to impose your thinking upon the world; however, applied in shadow means sometimes wanting to destroy all around out of frustration.

Si as the child: means refuge is sought in the safe and familiar. Likely sentimental folks then. With a tendency for nostalgia and clinging on, especially if the past brought warmth and affirmation.

Dana and Nameless sound more grounded/balanced to me, in the sense that they do not need to seek affirmation from everyone, only from those they respect. (perhaps the degrees of T and F here matter. Are both of yours more balanced on the T/F scale than CC, Hexis and perhaps tarabell??).

the above is just a guess. don't shoot me, ENFP flameballs.

"And will act out on the world around them when down, which makes it even worse. Third function Te implies the need to impose your thinking upon the world; however, applied in shadow means sometimes wanting to destroy all around out of frustration."

Disgusting, despicable no, No, NO!!!!

When I am feeling down I hurt myself, *never* others, *never*!!!!

What makes you think that I need to seek affirmation from everyone? I would love some examples, because I would never assert such a thing about a person unless there was plenty of proof in the pudding.

I love engaging interesting people, and I love when interesting people engage me back, but affirmation????

No.

Ask me a question, and I will provide you with a sincere answer.

Do I have low self esteem?

No, actually not at all, I suffered from low self esteem for like five years but went *through* it and came out my "normal" self again.

Do I have issues?

Yes.

Honestly, I am just always questing for like-minded people, yet this quest seems to be an exhausting feat.

But please, provide me with some examples.

 

[elfinchilde]

^ eh? I did say i didn't know that many ENFPs. was just trying to rationalise it out based on the jungian type. sorry if it's wrong.

Can we please put you under the microscope then?

So what, ENFPs mostly take things out on themselves? That sounds very INTP-like, a scenario i'm most familiar with.

and eh? what's this about low self esteem? affirmation need not always relate to self esteem. I meant more what a person responds to: eg, some will respond better to rational dissection of their flaws and strengths, but for others, they prefer to hear nice things first, etc, and would learn better in an verbalised, affirming environment. That for an ENFP, it is more emotion they naturally respond to, rather than rationality.

is this clearer?

 

[Grayscale]

don't shoot me, ENFP flameballs.

what part of "extreme dislike of criticism" dont you get?

 

[Nameless]

don't know that many ENFPs, so i may be mistaken, but from the ones here: it seems to me as though ENFPs value inner feelings more--as in, their sense of wellbeing is highly dependent on how the world perceives them?

So ENFPs would be charming, because they are highly energetic, bright and sensually warm, since it is affection they crave in return?

But the flakiness (pastries! ) probably comes about because they are insecure: when your sense of self is dependent upon the subjectivity of Ne-Fi, that would likely throw one into a loop. Likely to be initially enthusiastic but weak in following through. Charmingly scattered people, perhaps.

And will act out on the world around them when down, which makes it even worse. Third function Te implies the need to impose your thinking upon the world; however, applied in shadow means sometimes wanting to destroy all around out of frustration.

Si as the child: means refuge is sought in the safe and familiar. Likely sentimental folks then. With a tendency for nostalgia and clinging on, especially if the past brought warmth and affirmation.

Dana and Nameless sound more grounded/balanced to me, in the sense that they do not need to seek affirmation from everyone, only from those they respect. (perhaps the degrees of T and F here matter. Are both of yours more balanced on the T/F scale than CC, Hexis and perhaps tarabell??).

the above is just a guess. don't shoot me, ENFP flameballs.

Good "guess!" I agree, and am impressed with your perceptions, because most people get it wrong.

You remind me of a girl-thing (not quite a girlfriend, but would have gotten there under different circumstances) who I think was an INTP. I had to get used to her knowing everything about me when no one else really got it right. It was weird because it was like no big deal to her to see right through me and it kind of threw me off because then none of the "charming" would work at all...

Is it something to do with the INTP type?

 

[SillySapienne]

Dudes, where do ya'll live???

The older I get, the less "real" people seem, therefore any affirmation worthy of attention is incredibly rare.

I'M SURROUNDED BY ZOMBIES!!!!!

they're scawwy!!!

elfinchilde, also, in case you missed this post.

 

[Nameless]

what part of "extreme dislike of criticism" dont you get?

I can take the criticism easily if it is given from some kind of constructive or observational point of view. But when it is given as a sort of personal attack, I take it really personally. If, again, the person giving it is someone I value.

 

[elfinchilde]

what part of "extreme dislike of criticism" dont you get?

that was the intp -ness riding into battle, totally oblivious as usual.

CC flameballed me! ENFPs indeed. just gotta love them. i didn't mean you, CC. i was trying to read the type. People are always more than just one type.

'tis ok. just semantics. personally, i prefer real life interaction. Forums are just words, which is easy to misread and misinterprete. especially when you're trying to get the grasp of a person. my bad there. i'm intp.

Good "guess!" I agree, and am impressed with your perceptions, because most people get it wrong.

You remind me of a girl-thing (not quite a girlfriend, but would have gotten there under different circumstances) who I think was an INTP. I had to get used to her knowing everything about me when no one else really got it right. It was weird because it was like no big deal to her to see right through me and it kind of threw me off because then none of the "charming" would work at all...

Is it something to do with the INTP type?

Generally, charming doesn't quite work on INTPs, because we'd just be at you.

depends. INTPs specialise in systems. They excel in them. In things of complexity and depth. So if an intp has chosen people as their system, oxymoronic as it may seem for my type, they will be very good in reading people. i'm an INTP 4w5. ie, emotions are my system. Sounds odd, but there ya have it. Magic Poriferian is the other "oddball INTP" here. he's a 1w2 or 2w1, i believe. we'll hence appear 'softer' than other INTPs, in that sense.

edit: ah. CC. ok, i did miss that post. yea. the older one gets, the tougher it is not to be cynical. zombies, who only follow established order, because "that is the way it has always been done." and you get lynched for daring to think. try working in that kind of place for one year. broke me so bad i had to quit. manic depression.

 

[Nameless]

don't know that many ENFPs, so i may be mistaken, but from the ones here: it seems to me as though ENFPs value inner feelings more--as in, their sense of wellbeing is highly dependent on how the world perceives them?

So ENFPs would be charming, because they are highly energetic, bright and sensually warm, since it is affection they crave in return?

But the flakiness (pastries! ) probably comes about because they are insecure: when your sense of self is dependent upon the subjectivity of Ne-Fi, that would likely throw one into a loop. Likely to be initially enthusiastic but weak in following through. Charmingly scattered people, perhaps.

And will act out on the world around them when down, which makes it even worse. Third function Te implies the need to impose your thinking upon the world; however, applied in shadow means sometimes wanting to destroy all around out of frustration.

Si as the child: means refuge is sought in the safe and familiar. Likely sentimental folks then. With a tendency for nostalgia and clinging on, especially if the past brought warmth and affirmation.

Dana and Nameless sound more grounded/balanced to me, in the sense that they do not need to seek affirmation from everyone, only from those they respect. (perhaps the degrees of T and F here matter. Are both of yours more balanced on the T/F scale than CC, Hexis and perhaps tarabell??).

the above is just a guess. don't shoot me, ENFP flameballs.

I know the Captain doesn't agree with this one, but I do. Normally, I would never consider anything like this. But occasionally, when I get to the very very very end of my leash, and I think the word "frustrated" was key, and being trapped in that frustration, I get a brief feeling like I really do want to destroy everything and that that might not even be enough to remove the frustration. Like this fiery rage. But it stays only for an instant and goes as quickly as it comes.

An example: late for something. Stuck in LA traffic. Start thinking about how frustrating LA traffic is. Someone does some asshole thing on top of the traffic. Am tired or stressed from something else earlier in the day. Get later for the thing. Realize that I could be there on time if not for the traffic. Notice that my car is completely stopped in a 6-lane parking lot. Think about how much of a waste of life it is that people do this for hours every day. Then I might get that feeling.

 

[white]

*aelan backs away from all NFs*

fireballs... they're all fireballs...

 

[SillySapienne]

^ eh? I did say i didn't know that many ENFPs. was just trying to rationalise it out based on the jungian type. sorry if it's wrong.

Can we please put you under the microscope then?

So what, ENFPs mostly take things out on themselves? That sounds very INTP-like, a scenario i'm most familiar with.

and eh? what's this about low self esteem? affirmation need not always relate to self esteem. I meant more what a person responds to: eg, some will respond better to rational dissection of their flaws and strengths, but for others, they prefer to hear nice things first, etc, and would learn better in an verbalised, affirming environment. That for an ENFP, it is more emotion they naturally respond to, rather than rationality.

is this clearer?

I've been dissecting myself since age six or seven.

*I am constantly confronting myself*

And this is sometimes annoying because while others are more privy to delude themselves and be , I am not.

I have a deeply ingrained instinct, *to keep it real*

I could lead you to several posts of mine that clearly convey this fact.

I am brutally honest with both myself and others.

So, yeah, reading your assessment of me comes as quite a shock.

*Also, those that constantly need affirmation from other people, do suffer from incredibly low self esteem.

 

[SillySapienne]

*aelan backs away from all NFs*

fireballs... they're all fireballs...

Tis true, we cannot help it!

Things just got really heated, (at least to me), for a second there...

Out of conflict comes much growth!!!

Group hug!!

 

[elfinchilde]

^ CC. how did you type ENFP, if i may ask? What makes one an ENFP, if you were to have to give the most defining characteristic? (other ENFPs, pls feel free to respond, too. )

And ehhh....may i repeat: i wasn't typing you per se, i was typing your MBTI type. Degrees on the scale matter. i'm not a typical intp myself.

agree on the affirmation bit: those who seek it excessively definitely have low self esteem. rather sad, if one's sense of self worth is dependent solely on external factors, and not internal...

flameballs. aelan was right.