[INFP] Have I been an INFP all this time?

[Serafina]

Not sure if this is the place to post this but I'll keep it short and sweet. I am a 26 year old nurse 2w3 ennegram. The first time I took the MBTI I scored as an ESTJ. I am NOT an ESTJ, though for a long time that was what the type of person I aspired and pretended to be. I was a very bad actor to say the least and practically became agoraphobic in the process of trying to be someone I was not. Looking back at letters I wrote during that time I am completely horrified. Honestly I seemed like I had a personality disorder. Like.. it was BAD. I would be all weirdly aggressive and demanding then go home to my messy apartment, hide under the covers, hyperventilate and smoke weed for two days straight. I think a lot of my behavior had to do with being severely abused as a kid by my ENTJ father and me trying to emulate him. Well, I cut him out of my life and began the journey of being more true to myself. But that pretending to be a J thing just kept coming up. So for a long time I tested as an INFJ despite the fact that I never premeditate my actions, I am always late for social appointments, I much prefer people to approach me and even if I get a vibe from them that is not inviting I will flee the vicinity. Whenever I try to feign Fe people just don't like me.

Before I learned about MBTI, while I was going through my changes, I began to hone in on my vibe and "go inside" myself when I felt negativity from others in order to protect myself. I have always been called weird or odd by people, usually in a loving way though I resent being called this because I don't think it is very nice to call anyone strange, weird etc... and I think it goes to show how misunderstood I am

I have had many INFJ friends and I always found them to be condescending to some degree and apt to giving advice which is not like me at all. I typically don't like giving advice because I am far too aware of my own shortcomings so I generally don't feel qualified. Even when I do give it I often second guess myself. I dunno, the more and more honest I become with myself the higher I score on the P scale. I would prefer to be a P. J's are too rigid for my tastes. I tend to be pretty spontaneous although I don't mind making plans with someone I really vibe with.

I dunno, what do you all think? Any INFP's that used to test as ESTJ's or XNFJ's? I guess the 2W3 is kinda rare for an INFP though. So much for being short and sweet!

 

[nolla]

I think typing gets really hard when you are in a situation where you've pretended to be something you are not. It's difficult to know which parts of yourself you exaggerated and which parts were the real you. I guess you could think through why you like the idea of being an INFP (You seem to be doing it already). Still, I think you should keep the options open, because there is the possibility that since you went overboard to the other direction, now you go overboard to the other. So, just take it easy and see what are the patterns that you naturally manifest in your life.

 

[Serafina]

I guess this could be true... I tested as an ESTJ more than 6 years ago.

I find that the socionics description of INFp fits me very well. Although I have been told the cognitive function for socionics INFp are the same as MBTI INFJ I do not think that they actually describe each other (INFp > INFJ). I guess I don't really have a need to type myself because in the end we are all individuals but I just vibe more with P types and feel stifled by J types (although I do get along famously with true XSTJ men, we just bring the funny out of each other). We shall see!

 

[KDude]

Well, if you think you fit more closely with Socionics INFp, it'd be more than likely be INFJ if you were a Ni subtype. Fe subtypes seem more like some INFPs.

It's just my personal observation though (theoretically and in speaking to some INFps who simultaneously are INFJ in mbti). I'd say just focus on mbti for a sec. You say that you identify with the IP temperment, so that's a good start.

 

[BAJ]

Via my signature, you could see what my original values were when I took the test blind. I was very close...only 5 on the T side. Over the past 21 years, I've wavered in my opinion, but come to the conclusion that I'm a F acting the role of a T. Many say I'm hybrid. One of my favorites (INFP) on the INTPc said he thinks I'm "F with highish T", and since his avatar originally was a bunny, I respect his opinion.

Based on the essay above, I can't say much. I don't think anyone will shun you.

I recommend trying it out.

I don't like Socio-ionics, or whatever, but some do.