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[NF] NFs and Competition

NegativeZero

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Mar 2, 2011
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Are any other NFs very timid when it comes to competition? I certainly am, and I am also a pretty sore loser. :blush:

What about you guys?
 

Santosha

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I really enjoy competition in certain things (like those I'm good at lol) but I hate to see it go bad. Like when people take it too far, get really shitty or attacking, etc. I like group competition far more than individual, because something changes the dynamic for me in a group. I'm not just being pushed for my own success, I don't feel as selfish, I focus harder for my group. Always, always healthy competition though.

I have worked for companies that pitted individuals against eachother with tremendous pressure and expectation.. It always made me feel uncomfortable. I can do it, and quite well if forced to, but I favor good relations over "being the best" alot of the time. Guess thats why I'm not E3, haha.
 

Elfboy

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I'm not afraid of competition, and if I need to compete, I'm gonna win, but I'm just to friggin lazy to enjoy it. nothing makes me more irritated than doing a lot of hard, intense work and getting no tangible benefit, and that's just the thing lots of competition gets you.
 

Santosha

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I'll add that I haven't seen any INFP's I know IRL enthusiastic about competition. The one INFP I worked with at the company I mentioned above also did REALLY well, (because he was forced to), but he never, ever verbalized his wins or achievement. He NEVER treated his opponent differently, just stayed very calm, quiet, focused.. and refused to allow any of it to become personal. He hated the job too.
 

tkae.

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Yeah, pretty much.

My Type 4 is why I'm such a sore loser, partly, and because I believe that I should be getting more out of the loss than a person typically does when they lose a competition, caused by some clash between idealism and reality.

Usually I play team sports, where the feelings of competition are fueled by a devotion to my teammates, who are the catalysts through which I desire victory (for their sakes, not for mine), and because of a dedication to the team effort rather than some situation where my sole interest is what's being worked towards.
 

Serafina

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I do not enjoy fierce competition at all. I like playing cards and games where both players have to use their heads but I will become very emotionally upset if someone starts trash talking me. I see competition as a opportunity to become stronger in a specific mental or physical task. Not necessarily to become the BEST. So I view competition more as a good natured exercise.

I prefer to work alone or as a very cooperative team where independence and creativity is promoted. I actually become more dependable when I am not put upon by J types (which make me nervous because I cannot possibly live up to their demands). When I have positive reinforcement then I am much more effective. There are certain times of the month (ovulation) when I am much more competitive but my morals won't let me enjoy beating someone else. If I do excel over another I will never put it in their face.
 

AgentF

Unlimited Dancemoves ®
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winning all the time makes losing fun. :wubbie:



(so i cannot relate. might be an extroverted thing. also: i learn more from failures than i do successes. most of those were the product of instinct anyway.)
 

Sparrow

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I am very competitive! I remember in college I would always choose the next best person to be my competitor (they didnt know it lol), it pushed me to come up with the most creative ideas (most of my classes were art/design classes). I am competitive at work too but not in a mean way :). I just try and do the best I can, sometimes I even feel bad for coming up with better ideas then my colleagues. I'm a good sport when I lose...but deep down inside it makes me feel like a complete failure which really sucks.
 

FakePlasticAlice

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I'm very competitive. If i can make something into a competition..i will. However most friends refuse to indulge me. I get a little carried away at times. I like the motivation that competition inspires in me.
 

SRT

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I hate it. The only kind I can stand involves teams, but really then its only because of the sense of solidarity I feel with my team. Still not that fun though, unless its very lighthearted. I do get annoyed when I lose since normally the other person/team likes to flaunt how they beat me/us.
 

Serafina

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I just want to add that if somebody comes up against one of my values or ideals or treads on the underdog they better believe that they will pay the price. That is the only time that I can become absolutely fierce. Otherwise I would prefer to be vulnerable.
 

Southern Kross

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I'm rather competitive but in a friendly, positive way. I don't do the ugly stuff, trying to crush someone else - its more that I'm competing with myself and my own high standards. If I lose I can get annoyed but primarily at myself for not doing better. :D

I grew up in a competitive extended family so its kinda genetic.
 

rav3n

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Real life experiences:

ENFJ - very competitive.
ENFPs - competitive.
INFPs - don't appear to be competitive but if they want to say something, best to let them say it.
INFJs - Don't know any typed INFJs in real life.
 

skylights

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^ agree with the above

INFJs i generally find to be more perfectionistic than competitive.

I'll add that I haven't seen any INFP's I know IRL enthusiastic about competition.

yeah me neither. not the way i get about it.

haha i am quite competitive :blush:

more with others than myself... because i sort of trust my own capacity... but you have to prove it to other people. they don't just accept that you're great. i definitely push myself too but i tend to use external measures to motivate myself. though then i get caught up in external value. but whatever.

I am very competitive! I remember in college I would always choose the next best person to be my competitor (they didnt know it lol), it pushed me to come up with the most creative ideas (most of my classes were art/design classes).

hahaha me too! :hifive:
 

Forever_Jung

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May 23, 2009
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I can be very competitive, and have played lots of sports. If a player outmaneuvers me, strikes me out, tackles me, etc, I take it very personally. I paint a mental bullseye on their back for the rest of the game. I usually keep my cool though and use that shame to motivate me. However, if I keep messing up, and everyone is screaming at me, and criticizing me, I have been known to break down and cry. It is humiliating, especially in upper level men's athletics, in front of people you know. I can't look my teammates in the eyes for weeks afterwards. I don't do it as much as I did when I was little though, but I can only be pushed so far.

I also sometimes can't bring myself to beat people under certain circumstances. A trite example:

When I was little I would play basketball against my dad. He seemed like an invincible giant, and he would never let me win. That was okay, there's no shame losing to him, I thought. As the years passed, he sustained numerous injuries and wear-and-tear due to age, sports, and years of manual labour. Every year the games grew closer, and soon went from a dad fooling around with his kid, to an intense competition. He still won every time though, and he would smile and say something like: "I still got it", or "I'm not ready for a wheelchair yet, buddy", etc. I was 16 when I realized my dad is three inches shorter than me and is in his mid-50s. I was very aware of the fact that I could finally beat him, but I just didn't have the heart. I had remembered when age and a shoulder injury had knocked him out of his men's hardball league. I remember watching him come back from the injury and try to pitch, and he was absolutely murdered. He kept coming back, every game and kept getting annihilated. People started making fun of him and yelling taunts about him being impotent and washed up. Then they cut him from the team. It took him a long time to admit it, but he eventually admitted he was no longer able to compete at that level. It crushed him. And so, to this day I can't bring myself to beat him in sports. Maybe that's cowardly, but I just can't.
 

Viridian

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I wouldn't say I'm competitive per se, but I do get envious quite often, or at least I did before college... There was this guy who always got very good grades, and I was the resident nerd/"smart kid" before he got there; I didn't so much compete as simply feel like I was losing my niche. Then came college (well, an university, which is kinda different) and I started procrastinating even more... Now I feel like I'm slowly sinking into a swamp while everyone around me is walking on air. :(
 

mmhmm

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for work, i'm not really responsible for the day to day, but
i'm still very hands on when it comes to pitching for new business.
so. much. fun. just can't give it up.

i just expect a lot out of myself.
it's wonderful to find a worthy competitor.
because it's more about the process than it is the outcome.
i work best under high pressure and competitive environments.
 

William K

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Aug 13, 2009
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I also sometimes can't bring myself to beat people under certain circumstances. A trite example:

When I was little I would play basketball against my dad. He seemed like an invincible giant, and he would never let me win. That was okay, there's no shame losing to him, I thought. As the years passed, he sustained numerous injuries and wear-and-tear due to age, sports, and years of manual labour. Every year the games grew closer, and soon went from a dad fooling around with his kid, to an intense competition. He still won every time though, and he would smile and say something like: "I still got it", or "I'm not ready for a wheelchair yet, buddy", etc. I was 16 when I realized my dad is three inches shorter than me and is in his mid-50s. I was very aware of the fact that I could finally beat him, but I just didn't have the heart. I had remembered when age and a shoulder injury had knocked him out of his men's hardball league. I remember watching him come back from the injury and try to pitch, and he was absolutely murdered. He kept coming back, every game and kept getting annihilated. People started making fun of him and yelling taunts about him being impotent and washed up. Then they cut him from the team. It took him a long time to admit it, but he eventually admitted he was no longer able to compete at that level. It crushed him. And so, to this day I can't bring myself to beat him in sports. Maybe that's cowardly, but I just can't.

Yeah, I can relate to that. I was a somewhat chess prodigy. Learned the game at 4 and was playing competitively by 7. In the end, I just lacked the discipline and killer instinct to be really successful at it. By the time I was in my teens, I was totally burned out. One memory that stands out was when we were playing a team competition against another school of younger kids. The opposition wasn't very good and we ended up beating them 4-0, but one of my team-mates just enjoyed prolonging the game. You know what I mean, instead of ending the game quickly, he would capture every single piece of the opponent until only the king remained. Seeing the expression on the poor kid's face just totally soured the game for me.
 

animenagai

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Aug 22, 2008
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I'm competitive as hell. I think it may be a 4w3 thing. I want to be special and I want everyone to acknowledge it, but in a competitive environment, what people acknowledge isn't creativity or anything like that, all they care about is winning. I play games very competitively. It's not that I feel like I need to be at the top of the hill, it's more that a loss feels like incompetence, which I hate. I have eczema and this stress is not good for the skin, so I should really just chillout more. It's like a drug though, I just can't stop.
 

Meek

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Apr 26, 2011
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I am a 4 but I am a sore loser due to the fact that if I am in a competition, I was forced into it. That is the reason I would be a sore loser if I lost.
I would be angry if I won because of the pressure along with competition. I hate competition and see it only as a form of a power trip.
It holds no appeal for me, only disgust.
 
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