[INFP] (patiently) ask an INFP!!1

[Santosha]

More questions! (And still trying to determine the I/E pref)
So the more responces from diff INFP's.. the better =D

1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?
(I am usually extremely easy to read through facial expressions, becoming very animated, and will sometimes even notice people sitting at other tables or groups targeting in on me, i think, because of this.)

2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?

3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated? (I find myself extremely verbal with my emotions, especially when a value is violated. ZERO fear in confronting another person and pointing out their complete disregard of others. Infact, I'm compelled to do this, and it takes tremendous energy for me to NOT say something.)

4) How many of you are socially extroverted? (getting away from the cog here..) Do you regularly start up convo's with strangers? (I've noticed that if I am waiting somewhere, and someone else is also waiting, it is just unbearable to sit there awkwardly without atleast a little chit-chat, and I almost always initiate this.. but then tend to do more listening that talking once we get into it).. Do you regularly comment on ones appearance.. (like If i notice the chick at the grocery store dyed her hair.. I am compellted to comment on it)

5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?

6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage? (I feel tremendous pressure to be high-energy, exciting, and entertaining in groups. I do not like having people over to my house with out a myriad of options to entertain us, or a plan to go out and be entertained. Do you relate?)

7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?

8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly? (Ex. I met my ex boyfriends family, but was insanely nervous about it because i wanted them to like me so much, that i couldnt just be myself for fear that they'd think I'm weird (I am) but i also couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So I started playing games with the younger kids while he mostly talked with family.)

 

[011235813]

1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?
Poker face? Perhaps. People have told me that I look pissed off or grouchy even when I'm not feeling any of those things. Maybe people are just uncomfortable with neutral expressions. When I'm really, really excited about something, it'll show. I have a large, goofy grin and a big laugh. Oh, and I wiggle when I'm happy.

2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?
I'm pretty easy to amuse, somewhat harder to excite, but still, it isn't too difficult. I don't force my enthusiasm and excitement on others because I'd feel uncomfortable doing that, but sometimes it happens naturally. Genuine enthusiasm is something I express palpably--you'll know it when you see it, and I've noticed a lot of people like it and respond in kind.

3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated?
I'm unlikely to butt into anyone else's business. I'll express my disapproval and distance myself from the situation unless I'm directly involved in it.

4) How many of you are socially extroverted?
I'm not socially extroverted in unfamiliar company. I try to avoid making conversation with strangers as far as possible and I hate schmoozing. I have lots of friends though, and I love spending time with them.

5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?
Not comfortable at all. Hell, I'm not even that comfortable making recommendations to someone I know fairly well.

6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage?
Not comfortable at all. I avoid social contact when I'm down and if I can't, I do my best to put up a facade of stoicism/indifference because I hate bugging people with my problems. However, I'm not very good at concealing my moody down-times even though I want to, since people seem to be able to pick up on them anyway. :|

7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?
I strongly prefer that another person try to get to know me, so long as they're not being pushy or overbearing about it. I don't feel comfortable being the initiator and I would feel incredibly awkward asking someone personal questions immediately after meeting them.

8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly?
No, I'm actually pretty okay just sitting there like a rock. It's uncomfortable but no more so than trying to distract yourself artificially with other things. (Incidentally, I hate how people these days immediately turn to their cellphones as a means of distraction because they're incapable of just sitting quietly with themselves for more than a minute at a stretch.)

 

[Stanton Moore]

I heard INFPs are really good at detecting lies, is that true?I'd like to make use of the opportunity to clarify that when i keep a blank face hearing something that bothers you, it doesn't mean that I don't care, ok?

I can almost always tell when someone is lying. Even if I don't really know the details. It's about body language and demeanor.

 

[Anew Leaf]

how do you feel about the concept of "loyalty to someone"?

I am very, very, very, very loyal to anyone I care about. However, I am this way simply because they have gone through my INFP "selection process." Aka, I've tested them out for manufacturer defects. I used to blindly trust everyone, and now I have learned to take a step back from the process and be more objective. The people I am v^4th power-ery loyal to now are INFP hand selected, and INFP approved.

If someone you care about's values clash with your own, is it a deal breaker?

It depends on what it is. I have purposefully siphoned down my values and ideals into a very small, compact, and extremely "me" arrangement. It takes a lot to hit one of them now.

That being said. If someone does hit it, it can be VERY difficult for me to continue on with that person in a meaningful way.

I have an example:

One of my oldest friends was on Match.com last summer. She is very high maintainence and requires A LOT of male attention. She was "dating" two guys at the same time: one she actually liked, and one she couldn't care less about. The one she did like, stopped calling her, and she was emo.

her: "WTF why isn't he calling me anymore?! Why can't he just be honest with me?! Tell me what you think!?!"
Me: "Careful.... think about this. Do you really want me to tell you honestly what I think?"
her: "Um, well.... no."
Me: "Ok then."

The second guy, that she didn't like AT ALL, continued to ask her for dates and she continued to say yes because "I want something to do on Friday night."

One weekend they had made tentative plans to do something on a Sunday evening. Sunday morning she hadn't heard from him yet, and I get this emo text from her saying "Well, looks like I drove another guy away! He hasn't called me yet!"

Sidenote: Treating people like crap and using people are hot button topics with me.

I responded with, "You know for someone who doesn't like this guy... you sure care a lot about whether or not he calls. Oh and by the way, you are being a drama queen."

Her: "Oh nevermind! he just called now. I really want to go to the state fair but it's so expensive that I don't want to pay for it, so I asked him to take me."

Me (truly angry now): "You're kidding right? You don't like this guy but you are willing to use him to go to some stupid fair? Meanwhile, I recall you complaining about other guys not treating you right... You picking up what I am putting down here?"

Her: "Oh lighten up! Talk to you later!"

I fumed most of the day and had a very serious discussion with myself on whether or not I wanted to continue associating with her ever again. I decided I would give her one more chance after I had a serious talk with her. We talked a few days later and I didn't say anything about that I would end the friendship because of this, but I made it clear how not cool her attitude on dating was, and how disgusted I was with her.

She has sort of "wised" up since then, but our friendship is definitely not as cuddly as it could be. If I see similar behavior in the future then I will extricate myself from the situation.

Is it easy to "sever bonds"?

Sometimes yes. In the above example... it would be "hard" due to me mourning a friendship that has spanned 15 years. But at the same time it would be "easy" because it would be me staying true to my Fi-compass.

I don't relish severing bonds with people, and for most of my life I have had a really hard time doing just that. I am getting better now that I get myself.



Overall I prefer having a smaller group of close friends, but I am learning to appreciate having a wider network of love.

 

[Anew Leaf]

1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?
(I am usually extremely easy to read through facial expressions, becoming very animated, and will sometimes even notice people sitting at other tables or groups targeting in on me, i think, because of this.)

Only way I can do this is if I am Te-mode. Otherwise I am beyond easy to read. One of my ENTP best friends says he loves playing card games with me, because I always gasp when the card I want appears. (I didn't even know I did this until he laughingly pointed it out at our last card night.) If I am in Ne mode or Fi mode or Ne+Fi.... I feel like my emotions are dancing on my face like bacteria on the head of a pin.

2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?

My default mode is enthusiasm. (Can't spell "enthusiasm" without "ne!") I am (almost) always excited about something. "OMG THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A BIRD!!!" "Ooohh!! SPARKLES!" "Did you know that Saturn can float in water if you have a water tank big enough to plop it in? Isn't that amazing!!!"

I am usually requested by my friends in order to have a good time. I had a dinner party at the end of February, and on the day of the party we got a blizzard that dumped 15" on us. Everyone still showed up to my party even though almost all of my guests lived 30-45 miles away from me.

3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated? (I find myself extremely verbal with my emotions, especially when a value is violated. ZERO fear in confronting another person and pointing out their complete disregard of others. Infact, I'm compelled to do this, and it takes tremendous energy for me to NOT say something.)

This is tricky. My belief in "I can govern myself just fine, you govern yourself just fine" overrides a lot of my knee-jerk reaction. When I can't allow what's happening to continue, then I am 100% willing to dive in and sort it out. If my Fi backs me up and I get my Te shield at the ready with Ne in the wings composing zingers, I am ready to do battle. *pulls out kleenex Te shield and charges*

4) How many of you are socially extroverted? (getting away from the cog here..) Do you regularly start up convo's with strangers? (I've noticed that if I am waiting somewhere, and someone else is also waiting, it is just unbearable to sit there awkwardly without atleast a little chit-chat, and I almost always initiate this.. but then tend to do more listening that talking once we get into it).. Do you regularly comment on ones appearance.. (like If i notice the chick at the grocery store dyed her hair.. I am compellted to comment on it)

I am perfectly contented to NOT speak to strangers ever. I would say 4/100 shopping trips have me randomly talking to someone else. I can make myself be alone even when I am not alone. I am working on being more social and I have started experimenting with talking to people randomly like this.... the problem is, is that I have this magnetic quality about myself that makes people think they need to tell me their life story.....

example:

Me: Wow, sure is raining hard out there!
Random Person: *tears well into eyes* I think my husband may be wanting to leave me.... what can I do to save my marriage?!
Me: *awkward* Um.... (*feels self getting sucked in*) why do you think this?
RP: Well *sniffles* he started working later the past couple of weeks.... he comes home tired... I don't think he loves me anymore?!
Me: *Te face palms self* Well.... could it be that he is working on a big project that he is worried about? Maybe they are downsizing and he's trying to make sure his job is secure...
RP: I didn't think about it that way!! Say, you're awesome to talk to! You know, this one time at band camp...

And so on and so forth. My stoic, frowny exterior is a cleverly concocted shell allowing me to disappear in crowds, purchase my 2 avocadoes, 4 bananas, and bag of lettuce, without having to deal with the above.


On a less random side of talking to people - with my friends I am very chatty, laughy, make jokes, etc. If I am put into a position of going to a party with few people, I shove aside my natural inclination to disappear, and I talk to people, I am friendly, and I get to know them.

5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?

Food? If I really have to, yes. However, I will second guess myself and triple guess myself. Even though odds are that I will be spot on.

6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage? (I feel tremendous pressure to be high-energy, exciting, and entertaining in groups. I do not like having people over to my house with out a myriad of options to entertain us, or a plan to go out and be entertained. Do you relate?)

Initially I am not. If I feel safe and secure in my friendship and that person knows that I am not normally a basketcase... and won't judge me... Then I am ok with it. I find that if I just want to have a good cry and be understood and allowed to be emo, that I will call an NF friend. If I find that what I need is to be emotional but emotional with a purpose, I will call an NT friend.

In relationships, it's always tricky at first. I prefer dating teh NTs. So sometimes I really just want to be moody/emotional and just be hugged. And othertimes I want them to say ok, dear... I know you are upset, but here is what we can do about it.

Usually I just deal with my moodiness on my own.... so if I am moody around someone it's "kind of a big deal" and is a sign of trust from me.

I feel some pressure to be entertaining a lot of the time too, so it's very nice when I have friends who will take me sadness and all.

7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?

I am more comfortable initially with me getting to them versus them getting to know me. I need to check them out first and see if they are "ok." My Ne mode is a good deflector while my Fi considers if she wants to make an appearance. On rare occasions I allow a simultaneous getting to know you approach.

I definitely feel awkward asking anything remotely too personal too early. I have a secret horror of asking someone a question that makes them clam up. My empathy revolves around making people comfy with me and having a good time. And I think it works primarily because I don't "go there" very soon. Once I feel like enough trust has been established for that person within me.... then I feel a tiny bit more free to ask the deeper questions. It's kind of like being a surgeon of conversations. I want to extract important information by the least invasive measures.

8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly? (Ex. I met my ex boyfriends family, but was insanely nervous about it because i wanted them to like me so much, that i couldnt just be myself for fear that they'd think I'm weird (I am) but i also couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So I started playing games with the younger kids while he mostly talked with family.)

I have a great ability to sit quietly for days on end, and I know that that can be kind of strange. I love it when there are pets in someone's home so I can play with them. Kids can be a great distraction too. Or I will volunteer to help make the meal or clean up something. But yeah... I prefer doing something and being useful.

You forgot one question:

9) Will you INFPs still answer a question without the requested (and required) animal photo sacrifice beforehand?

Sometimes, the clouds part, and a ray of sunshine appears in between.

 

[Viridian]

Thanks, Saturned!

No one's answered the question I made in page 17, tho... Do you guys not love akitas?

 

[Anew Leaf]

An akita for you guys:

Now, where do you clash with your non-INFP NF brethren, so to speak?

Sensor Js: I clash because I have my head in the clouds and they keep trying to shoot me down from the skies.
Sensor Ps: Eventually I want to talk about something besides makeup.

(I keed a bit, I know you guys are more than just that.)

NFs: Fe drama llamas.
NTs: Te poking me too hard. Ti frowning at me.

 

[Viridian]

Sensor Js: I clash because I have my head in the clouds and they keep trying to shoot me down from the skies.
Sensor Ps: Eventually I want to talk about something besides makeup.

(I keed a bit, I know you guys are more than just that.)

NFs: Fe drama llamas.
NTs: Te poking me too hard. Ti frowning at me.

Thank you so much, Sat! I was talking about non-INFP NFs, i. e. INFJs, ENFPs and ENFJs (sorry if that wasn't clear ''^_^), but your answer is also very neat!

 

[Anew Leaf]

Thank you so much, Sat! I was talking about non-INFP NFs, i. e. INFJs, ENFPs and ENFJs (sorry if that wasn't clear ''^_^), but your answer is also very neat!

ENFJ: I luvs them most of time. I luvs that they let me be kinda F-y with them. I don't love it when they get bossy and try to tell me what to do too much.

ENFP: I luvs them when we can be all Ne together. I dun luv it when they poke me into being more outgoing.

INFJ: I luvs them when they is in counselor mode and they see something that I don't. I don't love it when they try to make me get organized.

 

[Sparrow]

ENFJ: I luvs them most of time. I luvs that they let me be kinda F-y with them. I don't love it when they get bossy and try to tell me what to do too much.

Lol! This reminds me of my relationship with my ex (INFP) <3. He did get suuuper irritated when I would bug him about handling bills and stuff like that. Oopsies !!! That was his main issue with me....my issue with him was that he was reallllly overprotective of me and he would also get jealous when I talk to other people (friends...even friends that were girls). Are all INFP's overprotective when it comes to their loved ones? Do you think ENFJ and INFP make a good love match?

 

[Anew Leaf]

Lol! This reminds me of my relationship with my ex (INFP) <3. He did get suuuper irritated when I would bug him about handling bills and stuff like that. Oopsies !!! That was his main issue with me....my issue with him was that he was reallllly overprotective of me and he would also get jealous when I talk to other people (friends...even friends that were girls). Are all INFP's overprotective when it comes to their loved ones? Do you think ENFJ and INFP make a good love match?

INFP and jealousy: I don't get jealous very easily. If I do, it's either one of two things: 1- I am feeling insecure or 2- something is going on. My ENFP ex would talk to his ex-gf for hours about sex, and she would tell him all about her current sex life with her new guy. Result: I was jealous and mad. My ENTP ex had a best friend who was a girl, and there was nothing between them sexually - but when she was drunk she would kiss him. Result: I was jealous and mad.

If I sense that someone is trying to play a game with me to get me jealous, then I almost always shut down behind my Te wall and refuse to play. I am not interested in competing for someone. If a guy I am interested in, finds me interesting too, awesome. If not.... not much I can do about it*. (* Other than write horrible poetry secretly dedicated to him as I sob whilst listening to "Pictures of You" by the Cure.)

INFPs and Overprotectiveness: I dunno. I haven't dated since I upgraded my INFP OS to the new 4.0 software. I used to be at times - although I never cared if my guy went out with his friends or talked to them.... too often I was the one trying to push them out the door. "No REALLY go out with your friends!" = "Thank god, a night to myself to cry over some movie wearing grubby pajamas."

ENFJ + INFP: Honestly, I think any type can be with any other type since it's an art not a science. Two of my married friends are ENFJ + INFP. They get along very well but there are definitely a lot of pitfalls that could be "easily" solved. She is always worried he doesn't love her anymore because he doesn't want to spend alone time with her enough, or he doesn't hug her when he first gets home, or he isn't expressive enough.... And I can tell with him he's annoyed that she demands he hug her when he first gets home from work, and that he say ILU in front of a large group of people. I sympathize with both.

For me personally..... I, uh, no. I likes NT types over NF. I need someone who is calm and will help give me a different perspective.... not someone who will cheerfully want to jump off of a cliff with me because I am feeling emo.

 

[Southern Kross]

1) I've heard it mentioned that INFP's can be difficult to read, leading into a poker face. How true is this?

I'm not difficult to read as in a poker face, blank and expressionless thing. Its more of a problem of people misreading my emotional state and projecting all sorts of other emotions on to me. So I guess I can be difficult to read accurately.

2) How easy are you to excite and does this enthuse those around you?

Hmmm. I was inclined to say yes but had a rethink because others would very much disagree. Most of the details in life that people talk about aren't terribly exciting to me. However, I spark into life easily when you talk about things that genuinely interest me: psychology, history, philosophical questions, ideas and theories, interesting scientific advancements, good music, film and the arts etc

3) Do you find yourself butting into others business if one of your values is violated?

Not very often. Usually I just grin and bear it. Sometimes a more passive defense of a value is enough, especially when fighting for it won't change anything. I am required to take a more active approach if someone is being hurt by my lack of action. For example, members of my extended family frequently say racist things which very much offends my beliefs. I usually just roll my eyes because berating them for it is pointless; it just causes unnecessary conflict and they are never going to change. However, if I caught them saying racist things to someone, I wouldn't care in the slightest about causing conflict and have no problem with butting in.

4) How many of you are socially extroverted? (getting away from the cog here..) Do you regularly start up convo's with strangers? (I've noticed that if I am waiting somewhere, and someone else is also waiting, it is just unbearable to sit there awkwardly without atleast a little chit-chat, and I almost always initiate this.. but then tend to do more listening that talking once we get into it).. Do you regularly comment on ones appearance.. (like If i notice the chick at the grocery store dyed her hair.. I am compellted to comment on it)

I do chit-chat with strangers at times. This sort of thing is extremely central to my national culture so I feel compelled to out of politeness. In most cases I don't actually want to talk to them (its nothing personal, I just want to be left alone) and really only do the bare minimum, spinning as few platitudes and inane comments about the weather as necessary. However, if I'm not in the mood (which is often) I will attempt to exert a "don't f*cking talk to me!" aura and hope people get the hint. Remarks about personal appearance are beyond the scope of basic social expectations, so no, I don't bring that up.

5) Would you feel comfortable ordering for someone you know fairly well?

Not sure what you mean here. I could very easily order meals in a restaurant for my immediate family, because I know their tastes so well but I wouldn't unless they asked me to.

6) How comfortable are you with showing others your moody down-times? Do you hide this from even close friends, waiting until you feel happier to socially engage?

Typically I only show my irritable side around my family and even then I try to spare them the full brunt of it. If I let people know the full extent and frequency of my bad moods, no one would ever want to be around me . Anyway I think it best to keep passing emotions to oneself. As for when I'm sad or depressed, I rarely show that to anyone.

(I feel tremendous pressure to be high-energy, exciting, and entertaining in groups. I do not like having people over to my house with out a myriad of options to entertain us, or a plan to go out and be entertained. Do you relate?)

No, not at all. Either people enjoy my company and what I have to offer or they don't. I'm not going to go to great lengths to please them.

7) Do you prefer that another person tries to get to know you? Or are you comfortable taking the role of getting to know them? Do you feel awkward asking someone personal questions if you've just met them?

I think getting to know someone is something that comes indirectly as a result of natural conversation flow, rather than an objective you try to reach. I tend to avoid personal questions with even close friends. I usually talk around the sensitive subject and if they bring it up I will go with it but if they don't, I'll leave it. I'd rather restrain my curiosity, than ask questions that will potentially make them feel uncomfortable.

8) Say you are somewhere new with new people and your a bit uncomfortable. Do you find yourself needing to be in some sort of action, rather than just sitting there quietly?

YES! When I'm at parties etc where I don't know many people, I hover by the food table, peer at the host's book/CD/DVD collections or look at the pictures on the wall. Playing with the kids is something I often fall into also. I like to be kept busy because I feel rather awkward and/or the general conversation isn't enough to sustain my interest.

 

[Rasofy]

Hey INFPs.
Question: On the professional aspect, do you think you are following the path you want?
A late offer. Should be enough to satiate you (for now).

 

[Viridian]

Hey INFPs.
Question: On the professional aspect, do you think you are following the path you want?

Uteness-kay acrifice-say, dude.

Just sayin'.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Hey INFPs.
Question: On the professional aspect, do you think you are following the path you want?

Since you are an INTP I shall waive (one time) the "sacrificial animal photo requirement."

Currently I think I am on the main road that will eventually dissolve into the myriad of trails and happenstances that will create the path I should be on professionally.

I want to be a writer... or a therapist... or a star.... Somewhere in the Pleaides would be sublime.

 

[Lady_X]

i don't have a question but you infp people are craaazay! so so honest...and open...and craaazay

 

[Anew Leaf]

i don't have a question but you infp people are craaazay! so so honest...and open...and craaazay

we kinda are... which is why we normally are NOT open and honest with people. When I am it's like holding up a giant sign of: "Hai2u, u iz sum kind of awesum."

But these have been easy questions so they don't trigger my Te shield or SP security system. Anything I saw in this thread that did, I was like... yeah.... moving onwards....

 

[Rasofy]

Since you are an INTP I shall waive (one time) the "sacrificial animal photo requirement."

Oh, now i get it! Hadn't understand Viridian's code. How could I forget you INFPs are so bloodthirsty.
Thanks for the INTP exception. I will try to remember next time, Ms Saturned.

Currently I think I am on the main road that will eventually dissolve into the myriad of trails and happenstances that will create the path I should be on professionally.

I want to be a writer... or a therapist... or a star.... Somewhere in the Pleaides would be sublime.

Is that a yes? (this question is rethorical, for sarcastic purposes only)

 

[tkae.]

Hey INFPs.
Question: On the professional aspect, do you think you are following the path you want?

Well, I've been published once, I've got a music scholarship, possibly as the assistant principal of my section, and that means I have a somewhat steady paycheck plus some proof of abilities at writing...

...I'm not entirely sure what path I want to be on, though. But I'm on a path, which is what I want, so I guess it's the path I want to be on.

If that makes sense?

It's a path that doesn't lead to a cardboard box in a back alley, and it's requiring minimal effort since I'm really just living life opportunistically with a jaded desire to express my inner world through writing and stories coming somewhat to fruition...



I don't worry about things like "paths" and "professions", I just live life in the confines of my oyster shell, poking out every now and then to remember why the outside world is disenchanting.

 

[Santosha]

I want to know how often, in your personal life with very close friends and family, people have made the comment that you talk too much and wont shut the hell up? Any INFP's relate?