[INFP] (patiently) ask an INFP!!1

[skylights]

Not me. I'm a little jaded about them too. I'll use an ENFJ psychologist I know, who does try to help people.. Yet at the same time, she's full of contradictions in her personal life. Even admits she has a thing for "cocky thugs", and wishes she could get over it. And it almost seems like every NFJ is confused like this for a time. They're not perfect (nor do I expect them to be. I'm just de-mythologizing for a moment). I chalk it up to their latent Se, and woefully retarded/immature views on what is cool about it. They tend to be fascinated with the lowest common denominator expression of an STP at least at one point in their life - and anyone here who denies it is lying through their teeth. On top of that, they'll condescend on INFPs as too sensitive.. even though they themselves are pretty turbulent and confused in their own right.

Thanks for listening =D

sidenote, not to butt into a convo i don't belong in, but i'm close with a few ENFJs - i def agree on Se, and also important that Ni-Fe is not anchored in the same way that Fi is, hence what we see as personal contradictions. they don't do the same kind of internal consistency we do. i find it very interesting.

 

[Glycerine]

sidenote, not to butt into a convo i don't belong in, but i'm close with a few ENFJs - i def agree on Se, and also important that Ni-Fe is not anchored in the same way that Fi is, hence what we see as personal contradictions. they don't do the same kind of internal consistency we do. i find it very interesting.

You are always welcome to butt in.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Why do most of the INFPs I know have such a jaded view on life?

The Fi-Si loop. What has been sucks & is far from the ideal, and that's the focus. Ne gets you out of that rut. You get innovative, you find solutions, you keep growing & moving towards an ideal, your ideals become increasingly less narrow as Ne offers various interpretations. Being stagnant is terrible for an INFP. We need to discover new possibilities, we need to experience novelty, we need to increasingly view things as conceptual to see them as flexible & changeable. That keeps the hope alive.

OR, these people are ISFPs, who can be keenly aware of reality in relation to their ideals; they see that gap clearly. The ones who bridge it do so by enjoying the simple things in life & keeping aware of immediate options for improvement. They aren't paranoid about future developments (Fi-Ni loop), but see reality as something able to be dealt with NOW. It's more of a one-day-at-a-time mentality.

Basically, depressed Fi-dom are grappling with reality vs. their idealistic visions.

 

[Anew Leaf]

sidenote, not to butt into a convo i don't belong in, but i'm close with a few ENFJs - i def agree on Se, and also important that Ni-Fe is not anchored in the same way that Fi is, hence what we see as personal contradictions. they don't do the same kind of internal consistency we do. i find it very interesting.

This is the INFP thread. This is like the ELLIS ISLAND OF ALL THREADS.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

 

[skylights]

You are always welcome to butt in.

This is the INFP thread. This is like the ELLIS ISLAND OF ALL THREADS.

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

i like you guys

 

[BAJ]

Awesome thread.

Most questions have been adequately or thoroughly answered.

Some things I'll tell you, some not. I regret things I say or reveal. Are you a trained therapist? Should I really tell you anything? I try to relate to you on a harmonious level within the parameters of your mind.

Of course, that's not the question! You are asking a general question about why an INFP might not really say they want some lighthearted thing like food or company.

When I was a child, a kid had a snoopy snow cone maker. Well, I really wanted a snoopy snow cone in an annoying way. Well, eventually one day they gave me a snoopy snow cone, lemon flavor, but they had peed in it. What really hurt is that they all laughed and made fun of me.

Do I think you will pee in a snow cone offered to me? Well, of course not, but I just have a revulsion to annoying you about something that I want. It's not just this one instance. There are dozens or hundreds of things.

Of course, sometimes I'll tell you. In fact, at work I'm constantly asking for things or trying to change the system more to the ideal, arguing for a better reality.

But if we are out on the town, please don't be offended if I'm evasive, indecisive, or lack some form of assertiveness.

I'll tell you another weird story. I'm good at begging. I would beg off the other children's entrees, and have a little pile of meat paddies or chickens. What if I really did want five little entrees and stack them up?

Once I was at a banquet. It was very retarded, but they said we can only have one tea. Another thing about this banquet was it was about 2/3 full, so there were all these places with tea sitting in front, but no guest. I was going CRAZY. I was thirsty. Other people were thirsty.

So what did I do? I took an invisible person's tea. Yes, I stole a glass of tea. Just one glass.

Then that person arrived, but they would not give him a tea at all. They would not give him tea or even water, I believe. He was red from anger, and I was trying to hide the fact that I had two empty glasses of tea. In fact, I had stolen his tea.

Meanwhile, I wanted to give him a tea from the still vacant places, but my guardian (my teacher) threatened me. Thus, I went insane. I took a bunch of forks from empty placements, and started to make a two foot high sculpture by sticking the forks together, which eventually fell apart with a crash.

There are lots of needs and desires in this world. See what horrible crisis one glass of tea can cause! Wow, what if I wanted a sports car or a pony instead? The entire universe may be put out of balance.

 

[BAJ]

Oh, god. Now I regret telling you those stories. Perhaps I killed the thread

 

[Tamske]

What does an evil INFP look like?
Fiction has more than its fill of evil ENTJs, INTJs and the occasional ENTP... and not evil, but plain annoying and pain-in-the ass STJs...
I made an INFP villain - a tortured soul, quite unbalanced because of a thousand years of loneliness (he's a god), and willing to destroy the universe because he feels guilty about the religious wars. Does that seem okay?
(I made some nice INFPs too, don't worry )

 

[Totenkindly]

I made an INFP villain - a tortured soul, quite unbalanced because of a thousand years of loneliness (he's a god), and willing to destroy the universe because he feels guilty about the religious wars. Does that seem okay?

Probably the best you'll come up with, it's kind of hard.

The problem with INP villains (because the same problem exists with INTP) is that, in our typical western story structures, the villains are the catalyst -- they are tying to change something in the world, take something over, implement some destructive plan -- whereas the heroes are reactive and just trying to maintain the way things are and/or thwart the plan rather than imposing one of their own. (I've seen stories where heroes try to implement their own plans, and guess what? They become villains!)

And INP is probably the most reactive, passive type you'll find.

INFP will probably be driven into villainry as part of a twisted form of moral code, driven by the abuse of morality currently in the world.
(INTP, aside from being a subversive computer hacker, is probably more liable to be a mad scientist who performs incidental atrocities in his pursuit of higher truth.)

They're kind of lame villains.

 

[KDude]

They're kind of lame villains.

I think he's more INTP, but..

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Vgp1jAabsk]/[/youtube]


If a story is trying to uphold some ideals, then even your most depressed INFPs are still Mary Sues. Maybe Louis from Interview With a Vampire. I think, realistically speaking, evil ones are somewhere in between.

 

[Betty Blue]

I have a question lady INFP's...
so it's about a girl...it's always a girl *sigh*
This patience thing...how patient do i have to be with an infp (romantically)?
I met a lovely infp girl, she's just a bit umm... slow to respond...is this normal?
Do you girls needs lots of time to plan meeting someone for the second time? And do you blow hot and cold or does it just appear so?
Thanks

 

[Totenkindly]

If a story is trying to uphold some ideals, then even your most depressed INFPs are still Mary Sues. Maybe Louis from Interview With a Vampire. I think, realistically speaking, evil ones are somewhere in between.

LOUIS! Yeah, there you go! Yes.

But look at the miserable bloke. He's the most pathetic, whiny, lame-butt villain you run across. In fact, he's referred to as "the vampire with a conscience" and "rat eater" (because he can't stand to kill a human) and all the other badass vampires make fun of him... unless he kicks their butt after what they do to Claudia.

IOW, he's a tortured hero. He refuses to do evil, and finally he reacts to evil with vengeance for good.

 

[Viridian]

What does an evil INFP look like?
Fiction has more than its fill of evil ENTJs, INTJs and the occasional ENTP... and not evil, but plain annoying and pain-in-the ass STJs...
I made an INFP villain - a tortured soul, quite unbalanced because of a thousand years of loneliness (he's a god), and willing to destroy the universe because he feels guilty about the religious wars. Does that seem okay?
(I made some nice INFPs too, don't worry )

I can see an INFP villain as someone who uses people in order to fulfill a personal vendetta or something of the sort, too... The "final boss" of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials & Tribulations comes to mind. I made a post in another thread about her.

 

[NotOfTwo]

Sacrificial offerings of cute bunny, kitten, puppy, penguins, etc pictures will help speed up the response time.

Your question is important to us because we aren't satisfied until you aren't satisfied.

This is without doubt, the funniest damn thing I have read in months. Yes, people in the coffee shop are looking at me with disturbed expressions. Please don't drive me to such outbursts in the future.
Umm a question huh?
Powdered sugar?

Oh yeah, my picture offering.. a self portrait.

 

[Glycerine]

Oh, god. Now I regret telling you those stories. Perhaps I killed the thread

It is all good. I just did not know who you were responding to.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I have a question lady INFP's...
so it's about a girl...it's always a girl *sigh*
This patience thing...how patient do i have to be with an infp (romantically)?

If she's anything like me, very. I don't initiate at first (and at second & third), but I will respond.

I met a lovely infp girl, she's just a bit umm... slow to respond...is this normal?

Yes. If I don't like someone, then I will just tell them, usually sooner than later. Even my bouts with pity-dating were short; never past 2 dates. You should note that she is slowly warming up over time & see a difference with how she is with you compared to others. Nuances can be key. If she takes forever to call/email you back, then it may be because she is lost in some daydream world.

Do you girls needs lots of time to plan meeting someone for the second time?

I personally don't need a LOT of time, but it depends on what you mean by a lot. I suppose I'd expect no more than a week or two to go by before seeing someone again. I'd be up for seeing them much sooner though, especially if the first date went well. I do like a little notice so I can look my best, but I'm very spontaneous & flexible like your average P. If you want to see her again, just ask her. You can actually be really direct with INFPs; at least with me, I don't get hints. It also allows me to be direct in response, which can drag out how I really feel if I am being a coward.

Being introverts, we sometimes do prefer more space between interactions with people. You're more likely to get frequent interactions if they are kept brief, but long interactions may be spaced out more (just to preserve our sanity).

And do you blow hot and cold or does it just appear so?

It just appears so. I admit I seem fickle, but it's more about me being moody. A Fi type's moodiness can be very detached from what is going on around them.
However, if it seems like it's outright mind games, then that's lame & shouldn't be tolerated. INFPs aren't angels; they can pull stupid antics also, so don't let one sideswipe you.

 

[OrangeAppled]

What does an evil INFP look like?
Fiction has more than its fill of evil ENTJs, INTJs and the occasional ENTP... and not evil, but plain annoying and pain-in-the ass STJs...
I made an INFP villain - a tortured soul, quite unbalanced because of a thousand years of loneliness (he's a god), and willing to destroy the universe because he feels guilty about the religious wars. Does that seem okay?
(I made some nice INFPs too, don't worry )

As mentioned, we make for lame villains. I think INPs are also painted as the "underdogs" a lot (the antihero), and that tends to make for a more sympathetic character, not the villain you love to hate.

You will sometimes see INP "villains" in love stories, as the self-absorbed artist/intellectual that is an elitist ass to everyone around him/her. They just aren't seen as villains because it's romanticized; they're just antagonists. Again, it's hard to spin that as a villain because what makes them bad is how withdrawn they are from people; they aren't seeking to affect them in any big way, they just happen to rub people wrong with a bad attitude. But anyway, my point is, the characters are still "bad" & unlikable, just not super-villains.

I think an idea for a villain could be an INP professor that sabotages students in a disgruntled, secretive manner. Obviously, that would have to be a comedy....

 

[knight]

Probably the best you'll come up with, it's kind of hard.

The problem with INP villains (because the same problem exists with INTP) is that, in our typical western story structures, the villains are the catalyst -- they are tying to change something in the world, take something over, implement some destructive plan -- whereas the heroes are reactive and just trying to maintain the way things are and/or thwart the plan rather than imposing one of their own. (I've seen stories where heroes try to implement their own plans, and guess what? They become villains!)

And INP is probably the most reactive, passive type you'll find.

INFP will probably be driven into villainry as part of a twisted form of moral code, driven by the abuse of morality currently in the world.
(INTP, aside from being a subversive computer hacker, is probably more liable to be a mad scientist who performs incidental atrocities in his pursuit of higher truth.)

They're kind of lame villains.

I think the INFP would surround themselves brutally strong mislead henchmen and the henchmen would feel nurtured in some way

thinking harmony from buffy

 

[BAJ]

It is all good. I just did not know who you were responding to.

Thank you for the clarification. I think you are right. I was sort of replying to INTPness and Jennifer and all those who asked, or secretly wanted, to know one lone INFPs experiences with negative feedback from assertiveness in desire.

 

[KDude]

I think an idea for a villain could be an INP professor that sabotages students in a disgruntled, secretive manner. Obviously, that would have to be a comedy....

I think a bad INFP would be making more of a stir in their environment. If only because it isn't their usual behavior to do that. Interestingly, speaking of professors, there's an example in Naomi Quenk's book about an INFP professor who filled his department with dread (I'm not sure how exactly, but it basically illustrated that he appeared like an undeveloped ETJ). It wasn't secretive in his case. That story loosely reminded me of the kind of extreme I've gone through at one point (I was young and puberty didn't help either..so that isn't type related, I guess). There were a couple of years when I had some negative effect on people. To the point that some had "heard stories" - stories that were total lies. Like my bad side was convincing enough to have a life of it's own. Let alone be bad in it's own right. Fortunately, I grew out of it, but that period wasn't really a secret in my case either.

The way I see it also depends on environment. In some environments, Te may operate more impersonally or more brash than what others experienced in their environments. So you take in what you've seen of it. It could be a stark, "This is simply how the world works" brand of utility. It can be offensive (in our minds), and we shut it out or don't recognize it's positives until later in life. We see it in it's negative manifestations. Yet, if we fall back on it, we express it in the very negative ways that we view it.. or were affected by. I was not surprised after I read Quenk's book that IFPs kind of sounded like they had the most cynical and mean expression of their shadow:

An INFP becomes "More intense. I tend to lash out at people with great anger. I am blaming and accusatory. I get vicious 'Ben Hur'-type images with a lot of violent action. I feel cold, intolerant, uncaring, rigid, straitjacketed, focused.." "I snap at people and don't care about their reactions to this. I criticize people, especially about their incompetence. I generalize this to thinking that the whole world is incompetent and has screwed up values, and I stop caring about my own values," explained another INFP.