the opposition doesn't really matter. Ne vs Ni matters more, but it kind of depends on the overall flow of your support system, work, etc to actually CHOOSE. in my experience, games naturally develop with any N dom type. Ne creates way more flow and steady breathy presence, and the applicability and confidence in the interaction and partnership grow much faster (but not necessarily the trust or consistency). if you've met a really steady (integrated) N dom of either type, it's pretty great.
i think the bigger thing for me at this point is figuring out enneagram types and instinctual compabilities. i've always liked 7w6s because they know how to not embarrass you, and i've always been good at getting embarrassed. i don't think that's really as big of a problem any more, so i think i need that less. yet, their enthusiasm is also pretty great. i find 7w6, 3w4, 4w5 as the most viable for me. i'd consider 9w1, 1w2, and 7w8, but i've never really felt sparks with those types (tho, admittedly, i think it's also because of what i needed and what was possible for me to accept, and what i wanted others to accept from/as me).
i also think i've done work to accept a wider range of instinctual subtypes. i think so/sx, so/sp, sp/so, and maybe sx/so all make sense for me now. maybe sx/sp too. i'm not really worried about it, i've just kind of realized how fast you can learn about the world from different perspectives. i have a ton of so/sx types right now, and they're teaching me how to play social games better/more enjoyably.
i'll see infj/infp/intj girls or 4w5/5w4 and be very interested; it's just so easy to see what/who they are, because you just get it. the immediate empathy is so high. and you just see the complexity and the bottomless spiral and it's already the most real thing to you because you know it so intimately because it is what you are too. at the same time, the Ni/Ne dance is pretty great, and the energy they bring can be very catalyzing, expansive, and challenging. bringing an experiential perspective into your life helps you perceive the world in a wholly new way which is kind of exhilarating but, at the same time, not everything. it really depends on both parties recognizing and understanding the partial nature of themselves as individuals and having space for something wholly different than them in their mental and emotional landscapes. it is way better once you realize that you don't just get what you want, that you have to do the work to fix what you want to make it more in line with what you really want, which you have to discover. and you have to do the work to become a better person in order to be ready/prepared for that. it takes a lot of the pressure off i think. it's fair i think to still feel like pacing when you're listening to music late at night and want your emotional energy to GO somewhere, to be turned into something. but to know at the same time that a relationship isn't just a moment or an image or a projection but a real story that emerges from separate strands of stories.
also, you gotta bring something better than "mysterious or charming" to the table. oh Te, i want to pinch your cheeks. with that said, i think i met my first intj 5w4 female recently. god how intriguing.
<-- I really did that when I read that post, honest! *wipes away tears*
