[MBTI General] ISTP needs help

[nanashi]

Reply

it seems like youre overanalyzing the situation and creating problems that havent actually embodied themself in some way.

I've been told frequently that I do that.

from my experience, when it comes to two people of different beliefs getting along, the delimiting factor is often the more religious of the two... teaching others what they consider to be the truth is a foundation element of many religions, while the same isnt true of atheism or agnosticism (past simply wanting to convince others that youre right)

I firmly don't want to push my beliefs on him. I think both of us would be happy if we saw things the same way--there'd be a sense of camaraderie, but I'm fiercely opposed to pressuring someone into Christianity. It doesn't acknowledge their natural freedom of choice, and forced allegiance is bogus and an outward deal only.

you need to consider a few things... first off, if difference in beliefs is going to ever be an issue, it is probably going to be due to you (for the above reasons)

You're probably right there--at least for now. He's repeatedly said it isn't problematic for him. Realistically, that could easily change.

secondly, you should consider how important it really is to have the same beliefs as someone. in my opinion, allowing one's interpretations of the metaphysical to affect the physical is moronic. it's one thing to conclude something where you really cant, its entirely worse to actually let that affect how you act in the real, tangible world. that is just my viewpoint on it... i really do think it is stupid to not do something that makes you happy due to considerations of that which can have no tangible consequence.

past that, youre out of luck. you cant have your cake and eat it too.

I'm worried that if we see the world in two different ways, it WILL spill over into how we act and approach circumstances in the future, and I'm afraid we could break up over that. I'm pretty sure he'd hold on to his convictions about the metaphysical as strongly as I would. He has a belief--that there is no God. That has to affect his life.

Shit. I wanted the cake.


Thank you for your input and advice. I really, really want it and think about it throughout the day.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

Don't do it. Don't even hang out with him.

I'll bet you (a million dollars) that even if you became okay with his beliefs, he would start to get annoyed by your closed-mindedness. Your hanging out together will likely go like this: you both continue to confess how badly you want to jump each other's bones; he's down, but you still say no; frustrated, he begins to withdraw; noticing the distance, you feel discomforted and decide that the religious thing isn't that big a deal; you both make out; the religious issue comes up at a later point in time and, like I said, he starts getting annoyed by your views; the relationship begins to fracture. The fractures become more pervasive and end in severance.

[/ironic optimism]

 

[rhinosaur]

Do it.

What's the worst that could happen? You break up. A little emotional turmoil. Learn from it, grow stronger.

What's the best that could happen? You find someone you really care about, and you build a really good meaningful relationship.

Duh.

 

[Seanan]

You might want to check these out to see what may be in your future:

Here

HERE

 

[nightning]

Don't do it. Don't even hang out with him.

I'll bet you (a million dollars) that even if you became okay with his beliefs, he would start to get annoyed by your closed-mindedness. Your hanging out together will likely go like this: you both continue to confess how badly you want to jump each other's bones; he's down, but you still say no; frustrated, he begins to withdraw; noticing the distance, you feel discomforted and decide that the religious thing isn't that big a deal; you both make out; the religious issue comes up at a later point in time and, like I said, he starts getting annoyed by your views; the relationship begins to fracture. The fractures become more pervasive and end in severance.

[/ironic optimism]

Do it.

What's the worst that could happen? You break up. A little emotional turmoil. Learn from it, grow stronger.

What's the best that could happen? You find someone you really care about, and you build a really good meaningful relationship.

Duh.

Sounds like dialogues with the angel and the demon does it not?

Figure out what you truly care about... and work from there. Afterall you're not pressed to making a final decision right at this moment.

 

[nanashi]

Thanks nightning.

 

[INTJMom]

I'm a new ISTP member and would like advice from NFs, ENFPs, or those with knowledge about them. It's about an ENFP I know and how to be a good friend to him. Basically, we are attracted to each other but I've decided not to pursue a relationship b/c of significantly differing spiritual beliefs. The ENFP sd:"I would really like to be with you," during a deep conversation one night, and I replied honestly:"I would like to be with you, too," but I later said in that conversation that I didn't think I could ever be with someone who had spiritual beliefs like the ENFP has. It just won't work for me.The ENFP has repeatedly replied that I should keep coming over and hanging out when I ask if it makes it hard on the ENFP. It's hard for me to not to adore the ENFP. What can I do? What would make it easier for you guys? My sister says he'll like to just experience me as a friend. Is this cruel of me to hang out? How do I deal with liking him?

Don't do it. Follow your instinct. Don't get his hopes up.

 

[nanashi]

UPDATE

Just as an update, I'm dating the ENFP now, and so far it's working. It's lovely. Also, the career counselor at my college administered the MBTI to me recently, and I came out an INTJ. I posted this thread last year when I knew I was an introverted thinker, but I got the functions wrong. Toodles.