[MBTI General] Reading, but rarely posting.

[Southern Kross]

I remember an episode of the Simpsons where Homer had a stash of snack bars, and each snack bar was actually an entire meal condensed into one small bar. After assuring Marge he knew what he was doing, he ate a whole stack of them- then he got up, walked over to the phone and said, “Hello, 911?” into the receiver. That’s kind of what it feels like sometimes, which is why I suspect N has something to do with it- though I could be wrong. It’s like things unzip like compressed files as they enter my head, and it takes a lot of effort to articulate what occurs to me in an intelligible enough way to present it to other people. I’ve got an INFP friend with whom I share a joke about English being our second language- our first being a series of grunts and hand gestures, which doesn’t go over so well in the written medium of an online forum. I can generally only participate quickly in conversations that resemble past conversations I have previously ‘unzipped’ in my head (and therefore have already invested the time in figuring out how to articulate).

Interesting. I totally feel the same way about English being a second language - I often feel like I'm translating from my alien native language. I knew that INFPs often feel like this (Fi+Ne will totally do this to you) but I didn't realise how much INFJs did. I suppose Ni without Te has a similar effect as Fi+Ne, in that it conceives thoughts in very primary manner, like pulling them out of thin air, with limited concrete or deductive reasoning involved - but you then have to ground the thoughts by using these very things for people to understand you. This would explain the 'translation' feeling.

 

[BAJ]

Interesting. I totally feel the same way about English being a second language - I often feel like I'm translating from my alien native language. I knew that INFPs often feel like this (Fi+Ne will totally do this to you) but I didn't realise how much INFJs did. I suppose Ni without Te has a similar effect as Fi+Ne, in that it conceives thoughts in very primary manner, like pulling them out of thin air, with limited concrete or deductive reasoning involved - but you then have to ground the thoughts by using these very things for people to understand you. This would explain the 'translation' feeling.

Oh, I can join this sub-thread! In high school, I spoke my own language. I described it as a "Language of emotion." It's more tonal, like Elvish. This was back in high school before I took the MBTI. I'd say I was from Zandor, and spoke Zandorian.

You may never hear me speak...unless you sneaked up on me or hid microphones...or knew me very well.

 

[NPcomplete]

Interesting. I totally feel the same way about English being a second language - I often feel like I'm translating from my alien native language. I knew that INFPs often feel like this (Fi+Ne will totally do this to you) but I didn't realise how much INFJs did. I suppose Ni without Te has a similar effect as Fi+Ne, in that it conceives thoughts in very primary manner, like pulling them out of thin air, with limited concrete or deductive reasoning involved - but you then have to ground the thoughts by using these very things for people to understand you. This would explain the 'translation' feeling.

This is kinda off-topic but whatever.

My INFJ friend and I communicate in a series of words (often invented but they suit the description) and hand gestures and if we have paper and a pen, we'll scribble a little schematic to illustrate the idea. We both fail at drawing so usually, we give up and try to find suitable analogies/metaphors. Generally, however, we don't need to say much to illustrate an idea unless we really want to go into details. It's like we can read each other's minds.

I find that when we are in a group and he's explaining something and someone doesn't understand, I am usually the one who has to do the translating. Or if he doesn't understand something, I am usually the one who has to interpret what others are saying for him.

Is this common?

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Then when I do reply, nobody acknowledges my reply, so it feels like I made a thoughtful note, stuffed it into a bottle and threw it into the ocean.

I think I kind of have the same thing going on when I post. I think I've written something pretty decent, and it's just lost amongst all the other posts. I know it isn't personal, but sometimes I wonder why I bother.

I’ve definitely had this feeling before. My personal favorite: when a post goes unacknowledged (which is fine, they can’t all be winners), then someone else posts practically the same thing in different words and several people respond. Sometimes I can tell how my point was maybe unclear, reading it in retrospect, but it’s still frustrating. [This isn’t a forum thing, this is something that happens to me irl regularly too, when I’m in groups of people. ]

Anyway, about posts going unacknowledged, this is why I brought up building a rapport earlier. It seems like interacting more- even with smaller posts- does eventually pull in more responses. I think as someone’s username/avatar become more familiar to me, I get a better overall idea of where they’re coming from and it gets easier for me to respond to them. And I think this is the case for a lot of people, because the more someone posts- the more their posts get responded to.

And with posts that fall by the wayside- I think this is what happens sometimes: there are often several convos going on within a single thread, with different groups of people. If I’m engaged in one of the convos, it’s become habit to me to gloss over posts and not pay much attention to the particular ones that don’t seem to especially apply to the tangent I’m involved in. Sometimes threads move really fast, and filtering some posts out is the only way to keep up. This is where the rapport comes in- if it’s someone who is usually interested in the same kind of tangents, I’m likely to give it more weight (and spend a bit longer figuring out how it applies to the tangent I’m interested in). So yeah, it isn’t personal, it’s just a matter of trying to keep up with a thread. Even in threads that aren’t moving fast, where there’s only one conversation going on- it’s still part of my forum autopilot (unfortunately). I guess my point is: don’t let it discourage you, I definitely felt that way at first myself (‘what’s the point?’), and continuing to make posts will make your presence more familiar to others.

Oh, I can join this sub-thread! In high school, I spoke my own language. I described it as a "Language of emotion." It's more tonal, like Elvish. This was back in high school before I took the MBTI. I'd say I was from Zandor, and spoke Zandorian.

*grunts and gesticulates at you*

I find that when we are in a group and he's explaining something and someone doesn't understand, I am usually the one who has to do the translating. Or if he doesn't understand something, I am usually the one who has to interpret what others are saying for him.

Is this common?

I don’t know how common it is, but I’ve fallen into this shtick with people myself.

 

[guesswho]

I often find myself on here for hours, reading various posts so I, in turn, can post afterwards. But I find myself unable to say anything that already hasn't been said, so usually it results in 15 pages read, and moving on to a new thread.
I have been on this site for over a year now, maybe even longer than that, I don't exactly remember. But my post count is still under 50.

I wonder, is this the case with many other people? Or am I alone in lurking and rarely posting? Does it have anything to do with type? I would figure not, but still, I wonder if there is anything to it.

Why do you feel uncomfortable posting? Do you think you'll receive negative feedback?...and maybe...that's why you read the pages of the topic, to reduce the chance of criticism. Or I don't know....

You don't have to write something you know...you can always post a picture.

I think that if you'll post some more, you'll start feeling more comfortable posting.

 

[Such Irony]

I thought it's more like you guys are being so critical of the value of the input that you decide it's better to not say anything. I think that there's often value in even the slightest nudge into a direction that hasn't been explored in a thread. Someone can do this with a one-liner that wasn't even meant to be anyhow enlightening. Then someone else gets some sort of an association of that and we find ourselves in a brand new perspective.

Of course, if people don't want to post, that's their business, but I'm just saying that if the reason is self-sensoring, people shouldn't worry about that. Every perspective counts.

Yes this is all very true. I'll tend to post when I see the opportunity for a nudge. The trick is spotting a good nudge opportunity vs. just another me too post.

Eh.

I have various similar issues.

I've spent most of my time over at INTPc, where I managed to get over 1000 posts. Thus, the time I've been here versus posts does not completely reflect my activity here. However, I researched myself, and see that I averaged 0.09 posts per day.

In the NF forum here, the thread balloons so fast with so many tangents (usually). Sometimes the reply is spot-on (the speaker correctly infers the meaning). However, it's sometimes difficult to determine what the OP wants, but that doesn't stop huge amounts of posting.

Then when I do reply, nobody acknowledges my reply, so it feels like I made a thoughtful note, stuffed it into a bottle and threw it into the ocean.

Sometimes I start threads, and usually not many replies to those.

When I started posting here again, I had a joyful sort of honeymoon feeling, where I thought, "Oh, I've found my tribe." Hah! Not quite, but it's Okay. I made a few friends and my expectations have changed.

Hah, at least being less popular is and old and familiar story.

First of all I want to say that I do read and enjoy your posts.

I relate very much to what you're saying, to the point that I even wrote a thread about not feeling appreciated awhile back. Even though that thread generated considerable response and allowed me to forge more connections with members of the forum, I still feel some insecurity about my value as a forum member. I try to push the insecurity aside and post anyway but even so, I feel like alot of my threads don't generate the amount of kind of response I'd like. Maybe I just have unrealistic standards. You can't realistically expect all forum members to have the time and interest in reading all the threads.

Still it seems like some members are far more successful in making good connections with other forum members and establishing their niche on here. I'm not naturally as good at that sort of thing. Why is it that some members have far less posts than I do, yet when you look at their profile they have several times the number of visitor messages that I have? Why is it that some peoples blogs are widely read and some others are hardly read at all (like mine)? I obviously still have some insecurity about all this.

I’ve definitely had this feeling before. My personal favorite: when a post goes unacknowledged (which is fine, they can’t all be winners), then someone else posts practically the same thing in different words and several people respond. Sometimes I can tell how my point was maybe unclear, reading it in retrospect, but it’s still frustrating. [This isn’t a forum thing, this is something that happens to me irl regularly too, when I’m in groups of people. ]

Yeah, I hate it when that happens. I think some people are more focused on the person responding rather than the content itself. Whereas I focus primarily on the content and who is saying it is more secondary. This doesn't mean I ignore you. It just means, that I am more likely to read the content first and then look to see who said it. Maybe others, are more likely to see the name first and use that to determine if they will read the content.

Anyway, about posts going unacknowledged, this is why I brought up building a rapport earlier. It seems like interacting more- even with smaller posts- does eventually pull in more responses. I think as someone’s username/avatar become more familiar to me, I get a better overall idea of where they’re coming from and it gets easier for me to respond to them. And I think this is the case for a lot of people, because the more someone posts- the more their posts get responded to.

Yes, this is true. I have noticed this with myself. I think my posts are starting to get more replies compared to when I just started out. Still have this insecurity about not being acknowledged enough though.

And with posts that fall by the wayside- I think this is what happens sometimes: there are often several convos going on within a single thread, with different groups of people. If I’m engaged in one of the convos, it’s become habit to me to gloss over posts and not pay much attention to the particular ones that don’t seem to especially apply to the tangent I’m involved in. Sometimes threads move really fast, and filtering some posts out is the only way to keep up. This is where the rapport comes in- if it’s someone who is usually interested in the same kind of tangents, I’m likely to give it more weight (and spend a bit longer figuring out how it applies to the tangent I’m interested in). So yeah, it isn’t personal, it’s just a matter of trying to keep up with a thread. Even in threads that aren’t moving fast, where there’s only one conversation going on- it’s still part of my forum autopilot (unfortunately). I guess my point is: don’t let it discourage you, I definitely felt that way at first myself (‘what’s the point?’), and continuing to make posts will make your presence more familiar to others.

Yes this is true, and its a large reason why I tend to prefer replying to smaller threads than larger ones. I wish some threads would stick more closely to the thread title. I hate it when a thread is started that's of real interest to me and the thread strays on a tangent that generates more interest than the original topic itself. If you have a need to stray that much, why not just started a new thread and say that it was an offshoot of such and such a thread?

 

[Kriash]

Why do you feel uncomfortable posting? Do you think you'll receive negative feedback?...and maybe...that's why you read the pages of the topic, to reduce the chance of criticism. Or I don't know....

You don't have to write something you know...you can always post a picture.

I think that if you'll post some more, you'll start feeling more comfortable posting.

It isn't really that I feel super uncomfortable, I mean, sometimes I do, but mostly, I just want to know what other people are thinking. I don't particularly like criticism, but I don't really consider it when I first post,(or say) something. I usually just think about it afterward, I sort of dwell on it actually. uch:

I really do like to talk, but it is really hard for me to get the ideas in my head out into complete statements and ideas. People never really understand what I'm talking about, and when I try and explain, it just confuses them more I think it's because when I go to say something, it's either completely random, and not thought through at all, or thought about way too much, to a point where I can't possibly explain everything I've thought about it...

I am not entirely sure if that even addressed the original thing you posted X/

 

[Z Buck McFate]

Yeah, I hate it when that happens. I think some people are more focused on the person responding rather than the content itself. Whereas I focus primarily on the content and who is saying it is more secondary. This doesn't mean I ignore you. It just means, that I am more likely to read the content first and then look to see who said it. Maybe others, are more likely to see the name first and use that to determine if they will read the content.

There may be some of that going on (and I admitted above, I actually do it a little myself because it serves the very practical purpose of helping me navigate threads faster), but mostly- for me- it's a problem with figuring out what connecting details I left out. This really does happen to me irl, too, in groups of people. I dated an ENP for a long time whom I referred to as my translator. I'd make a comment in a group of people, and there'd be no response- then he'd point out I was "doing the thing" where I've left out some connecting detail. Sometimes it even took me a few tries to guess which connection people weren't making on their own (or he'd already have figured it out and explained it for me).

One almost bizarre example that comes to mind is when- in a rather large group of friends just hanging out, drinking wine in one of our apartments- a Swedish (I think?) friend was telling the story about how, when he was younger, he had a job transporting body parts (from the hospital to some lab or something) using his bicycle. I laughed, then explained that I'd additionally mixed Pee-Wee Herman into that image for a moment. No was said anything, except my ENP who told me I was "doing the thing". So I explained that I pictured him- bare body parts sticking out of fancy white basket attached to handlebar- singing "LA LA LA LA LA-A-A-A" Pee-Wee Herman style while riding down the street. Everyone laughed. That's one of the examples where I'm still kind of baffled about how it wasn't at least somewhat clear. I'm guessing it was that particular audience. Dunno. Like I said in previous post- sometimes in retrospect I can see how the point I was trying to make wasn't clear (to the point where it's kind of embarrassing ), but other times it'll keep confounding me.

Anyway, I don't attribute it (someone else getting several responses for saying essentially the same thing I said first) to the other poster's popularity (or whatever) so much as my own inability to always present a clear, linear point. And it's a problem I've always had irl as well, so I've learned to just be glad for the times when I am making sense.

It really surprises me actually, the posts which get acknowledged the most- I can never really tell what will go over well before I post it. There have been things which I personally thought were brilliant insights which went completely unacknowledged- yet I'll get several rep hits, several responses and even lauded for something that I had little faith would get understood.

 

[entropie]

It isn't really that I feel super uncomfortable, I mean, sometimes I do, but mostly, I just want to know what other people are thinking. I don't particularly like criticism, but I don't really consider it when I first post,(or say) something. I usually just think about it afterward, I sort of dwell on it actually. uch:

I really do like to talk, but it is really hard for me to get the ideas in my head out into complete statements and ideas. People never really understand what I'm talking about, and when I try and explain, it just confuses them more I think it's because when I go to say something, it's either completely random, and not thought through at all, or thought about way too much, to a point where I can't possibly explain everything I've thought about it...

I am not entirely sure if that even addressed the original thing you posted X/

I know this feeling all to well and it has been the bane to my existance for many years. I was lucky to eventually find someone I never again did need to explain myself to and nowadays I dont have a bad feeling when I need to explain the things I just said again at my workplace.

I've always thought that the understanding of communication will eventually be the shiled that will ward me against all attacks and help me to ricochet every bullet, but I figured everytime I thought I've become a master, I met someone better than me, so I quit.

 

[PuddleRiver]

Just imagine you're a faith healer & the keyboard is like the desperate wayward sinner waiting for God's grace (which is in your fingers in case you've forgotten, you're the faith healer).

or if you're not religious, imagine the keyboard as that whack-a-mole game from the arcade... just bang on the keys. something will come, just have faith.

I am religious, but I really like the whack-a-mole image.

 

[Eckhart]

I can relate a bit as well. Of course not in the same dimensions as you, I have a few posts more, but here are some people who write more posts in a month than I wrote in a year, and when you put it like that I am quite inactive. I browse this forum several times a day after all as well. Often enough I don't know what I would answer, and before I answer nonsense I better don't write at all usually (no, this was not an invitation to tell me that you guys find my posts nonsense still ). And so it becomes many people in this forum probably don't even know me or still confuse me with EcK.

Many threads are also too quick for me, too many people dynamics which I don't look through at all, or too many long discussions between single persons while when I post my post usually that is the end for me on that thread because there does barely ever grow a discussion (or even a fight, lol) out of my posts. Apparently I just post too boring stuff

 

[LovelyAngel]

I often find myself on here for hours, reading various posts so I, in turn, can post afterwards. But I find myself unable to say anything that already hasn't been said, so usually it results in 15 pages read, and moving on to a new thread.
I have been on this site for over a year now, maybe even longer than that, I don't exactly remember. But my post count is still under 50.

I wonder, is this the case with many other people? Or am I alone in lurking and rarely posting? Does it have anything to do with type? I would figure not, but still, I wonder if there is anything to it.

Possibly the aspect (of my lack of posting) that is type-related is that if I post, I want to add value to the thread, and I want my post to be articulate and well-thought out... and it takes quite a bit of time for me to write a decent comment (well... perfectionism does not help...). Given my hectic schedule, I simply can't afford the time to contribute to all the interesting threads. So I think I'm a perpetual lurker, delurking only on the infrequent occasions when I have a slight bit of spare time... and I think I can do a quick hit-and-run without getting sucked into a thread. Forums can be such time-sinks! Just lurking consumes too much time here (because everything is interesting)... and I have to limit forum scanning to the weekends.

I'd hate to ramp up my post count by commenting a bare "I concur" to some of the wonderfully expressed posts and responses I've read (particularly from some of my INFJ peers). I'll simply continue to read and nod my head silently, I guess.

(Hmm. This comment falls short of my high, perfectionist standards! )

 

[Serendipity]

This is kinda off-topic but whatever.

My INFJ friend and I communicate in a series of words (often invented but they suit the description) and hand gestures and if we have paper and a pen, we'll scribble a little schematic to illustrate the idea. We both fail at drawing so usually, we give up and try to find suitable analogies/metaphors. Generally, however, we don't need to say much to illustrate an idea unless we really want to go into details. It's like we can read each other's minds.

I find that when we are in a group and he's explaining something and someone doesn't understand, I am usually the one who has to do the translating. Or if he doesn't understand something, I am usually the one who has to interpret what others are saying for him.

Is this common?

It happens to me as well.
To illustrate: Me and another INTP friend talk to each other with people close by, we expect everyone else to follow our train of thought and somewhere end up finishing to talk about the end of the universe without a soul nearby catching anything we say. She has me totally spoiled nowadays and I can't find a single suitable pair of eyes to do this with. It's fairly annoying.

And I can't stay to chat. i probably would have nothing more to say anyway. Good talking with ya. I miss fun people in my life. Everyone has gotten married or gotten a kid or dumped me :')

Blah blah blah, racks down into the thread with feely talk and emotional qualms. Anyway, I love talking like that.

 

[Serendipity]

Random thoughts about communication

Possibly the aspect (of my lack of posting) that is type-related is that if I post, I want to add value to the thread, and I want my post to be articulate and well-thought out... and it takes quite a bit of time for me to write a decent comment (well... perfectionism does not help...). Given my hectic schedule, I simply can't afford the time to contribute to all the interesting threads. So I think I'm a perpetual lurker, delurking only on the infrequent occasions when I have a slight bit of spare time... and I think I can do a quick hit-and-run without getting sucked into a thread. Forums can be such time-sinks! Just lurking consumes too much time here (because everything is interesting)... and I have to limit forum scanning to the weekends.

I'd hate to ramp up my post count by commenting a bare "I concur" to some of the wonderfully expressed posts and responses I've read (particularly from some of my INFJ peers). I'll simply continue to read and nod my head silently, I guess.

(Hmm. This comment falls short of my high, perfectionist standards! )

I seriously have nothing else to say but: Some people might find even a line saying "I concur" to be a very valuable input. I've heard from people that once they hear that someone else has a similar experience, they open up easier and more thoroughly than before.

Once, a girl tried to just let me say "I understand" and that was enough for her to feel welcome and in good company. So sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do, is to reply with a "thumbs up" so to speak.

Sometimes, I don't understand that and other times I do but most of the time I get annoyed by those that go "yesyesyesyesyes" while I'm trying to speak without having gotten the whole idea yet. I perceive this as "not listening" but I can be wrong. I hope I am.

 

[stalemate]

Even though I have quite a few posts, I am the same way. I probably post in less than 10% of the threads that I read.

 

[entropie]

That means assuming you've posted in every thread twice you've read around 4,660 threads. Prove that !

 

[stalemate]

That means assuming you've posted in every thread twice you've read around 4,660 threads. Prove that !

Bad assumption.

 

[Lightyear]

Guilty as charged. I don't even feel like posting in this thread since everything I want to say has probably already been said.

 

[BAJ]

I seriously have nothing else to say but: Some people might find even a line saying "I concur" to be a very valuable input. I've heard from people that once they hear that someone else has a similar experience, they open up easier and more thoroughly than before.

Once, a girl tried to just let me say "I understand" and that was enough for her to feel welcome and in good company. So sometimes, the most valuable thing you can do, is to reply with a "thumbs up" so to speak.

Sometimes, I don't understand that and other times I do but most of the time I get annoyed by those that go "yesyesyesyesyes" while I'm trying to speak without having gotten the whole idea yet. I perceive this as "not listening" but I can be wrong. I hope I am.