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[MBTI General] NFPs and NFJs... more different than alike?

Elfboy

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the more I study cognitive function and read forum posts, I'm realizing that NFPs and NFJs are really much more different than they are similar for example:

NFPs:
personal values
integrity
justice/honor
intrapersonal intelligence
low neuroticism
metaphors/analogies

NFJs:
group values
harmony
peace/mercy
interpersonal intelligence
high neuroticism
symbols/epiphanies

does anyone else feel the same way?
 

MonkeyGrass

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I find myself understand NFPs easily, but not agreeing with them often. (Obviously, that could be said for some NFJs I know as well, but not as often). No one drives me straight up a tree faster than an ENFP, though. (no offense meant, I have some close ENFP friends!) More immature ENFPs tend to be the ones I can't stomach. Once they're on a feeling rampage, there's not a lot of logic involved in their impassioned conversation (or so it seems to me).

I'm not sure where the differences lie exactly..I'd be interested to hear the thoughts of others.

One major difference I've noted is that while I admire ENFPs' passion for causes, they tend to be a little more oblivious of the needs of their families or more boring responsibilities than NFJs. They have a wicked strong personal sense of right from wrong, but can be a little oblivious of the needs of their closest loved ones, even while passionately discussing something they feel strongly about. IOW, boundless compassion in some areas, but seemingly oblivious to other's pain in other areas.
 

Arclight

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Ha..:laugh: Lets see, about 25% of the site feels I am in INFJ, 25% feels ENFP and yet another 25% feel it's ENFJ and then there is also this 25% that feel INFP would be the best fit.

I have seen Fe descriptions that sound very Fi and likewise.

Someone said I argued like an ENFP..
SO I presented them this?
Can you tell the difference?

INFJs have a tendency to look for hidden motives and meanings in every situation and often over analyze problems, or rehash issues after they have been settled.
INFJs are very independent, focused and persistent people who often characteristically, possess uncompromising integrity.
They are driven by an inner vision; if that vision is at odds with others, it typically causes serious conflict. They can be quite determined ,single minded, and unyielding as they stand by their moral positions.
When engaged in an emotional argument , it can be difficult for the INFJ to put thier own feelings aside, and really hear others.
When an impasse is reached, they tend to withdraw from the other and stop communicating.
This is the last thing the INFJ really wants. However interestingly enough, INFJs have the tendency to be somewhat judgmental, so INFJs who dislike this quality in themselves may be particularly sensitive to this in others.

From "Just my Type" Page 295.. INFJ relationship frustrations.

Sounds a lot like pissed off Fi, eh?
 

Elfboy

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Ha..:laugh: Lets see, about 25% of the site feels I am in INFJ, 25% feels ENFP and yet another 25% feel it's ENFJ and then there is also this 25% that feel INFP would be the best fit.

I have seen Fe descriptions that sound very Fi and likewise.

Someone said I argued like an ENFP..
SO I presented them this?
Can you tell the difference?



Sounds a lot like pissed off Fi, eh?

I am almost certain you are an NFJ of some sort. your arguments seem much more Fe than Fi to me and your overall vibe is way more NFJ.
 

OrangeAppled

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There are certainly major differences, but I'd say there are differences between ALL types. If you asked me if I am more like an INFJ than an ESTJ, then I'd say yes, even though an ESTJ "shares" the same top 4 functions.

Compare the typical demeanors of ENFx and INFx types....due to I/E differences in demeanor, at times, it can be harder to tell an ENFJ & ENFP apart than an ENFP & INFP.

You can group types in many ways & find similarities & differences. You can group by processes, or the functions of those processes (ie. the middle two letters), by I/E or Pe/Je preferences, etc. Each type is designated as its own, unique type precisely because it's significantly different from the others, so how you group types is a matter of perspective and deciding what are the most important factors of their personality.
 

Elfboy

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I'd like to make a disclaimer in advance that most of the NFJs I know IRL friggin suck. I'm saying this because I've tried to make this comparison as non-biased as I know that not all NFJs suck like the ones I know IRL. that being said, I can't promise it's completely unbiased as I know disproportionately few cool NFJs (most of them I know are the people pleasing, manipulative politician type)
 

Elfboy

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There are certainly major differences, but I'd say there are differences between ALL types. If you asked me if I am more like an INFJ than an ESTJ, then I'd say yes, even though an ESTJ "shares" the same top 4 functions.

Compare the typical demeanors of ENFx and INFx types....due to I/E differences in demeanor, at times, it can be harder to tell an ENFJ & ENFP apart than an ENFP & INFP.
You can group types in many ways & find similarities & differences. You can group by processes, or the functions of those processes (ie. the middle two letters), by I/E or Pe/Je preferences, etc. Each type is designated as its own, unique type precisely because it's significantly different from the others, so how you group types is a matter of perspective and deciding what are the most important factors of their personality.

I'm gonna disagree with you on this point. to me, INFPs and INFJs don't look or act alike at all and their motivations are completely different
 

Santosha

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I've always found a profound difference in myself and my INFJ friends... as opposed to myself and my INFP friends. I do think ENFP/INFP is closer than NFP/NFJ. LOVE NFJ's though.. and actually bond with them more than my infps. Not sure why..

Fi/Fe Ni/Ne. Big difference.
 

Vasilisa

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This topic comes up a great deal, sometimes it seems like its what this subforum mostly does.

And there is nothing wrong with that. I admit it saddens me slightly that so many posters have real life frustration at the other side, and sometimes the discussions themselves appear to me more polarizing than connecting. And that, too, is okay. I understand a conflict or misunderstanding may be more likely to motivate someone to post, than say, an amazing conversation where they felt connected and understood. I still love learning about the NFP spirit and mind. I had some wonderful NFP people who enriched my life, so its possible I am biased. Its clear we are different, but those differences are fascinating and beautiful to me. It shows me new insights and ways I could grow myself, quite honestly. I hope I bring something to the table for them, too. Yet I still feel strongly that we come from a common place, not just based on my real life connections, but also from reading so many posts on the forum. The concern with finding understanding is one indicator. Maybe we are like plants that take root in the same soil conditions, but are definitely not the same, yet can be complimentary and encourage growth in each other, rather than competing. I like to show my appreciation for NFPs :hug:


Compare the typical demeanors of ENFx and INFx types....due to I/E differences in demeanor, at times, it can be harder to tell an ENFJ & ENFP apart than an ENFP & INFP.
I can attest to this based on friends in real life, absolutely.
 

Lady_X

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just depends on the strength of preferences i guess..some infj's might be closer to isfjs or intjs...or enfjs...same with every other type.
 

Atomic Fiend

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I know a few NFJs who think NFPs are a handful, and NFPs who feel the same way about NFJs though they would never admit it.
 

Lady_X

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why do you assume they would not admit it rather than they just don't feel it?
 
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There are certainly major differences, but I'd say there are differences between ALL types. If you asked me if I am more like an INFJ than an ESTJ, then I'd say yes, even though an ESTJ "shares" the same top 4 functions.

Compare the typical demeanors of ENFx and INFx types....due to I/E differences in demeanor, at times, it can be harder to tell an ENFJ & ENFP apart than an ENFP & INFP.

You can group types in many ways & find similarities & differences. You can group by processes, or the functions of those processes (ie. the middle two letters), by I/E or Pe/Je preferences, etc. Each type is designated as its own, unique type precisely because it's significantly different from the others, so how you group types is a matter of perspective and deciding what are the most important factors of their personality.

estjs just AREN'T ALL THAT INTO AMPERSANDS, SRY INFPS who absolutely share more in common with us than infjs, particularly the organic, non-forum varieties.
 

Viridian

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Oh boy, here it goes... I hope this thread doesn't become another INFJ/ENFP spat.

Firstly, Elfboy, given how you feel about the INFJs you've met, I think your list seems quite nonjudgemental. Good job, dude! :yes:

Secondly, let's face it, you're no ordinary ENFP - most of them are Sevens, not Eights. Enneagram can have a pretty good influence on how people of those types function. INFPs who are Twos or Sixes can look INFJ-ish; vice-versa for INFJ Nines. Same deal with ENFP Twos or 7w6s and ENFJ Eights.

Take me, for instance. If you look at my thread (decayed beyond belief), half of the posters think I'm an INFP and half think I'm an INFJ. There are some serious misconceptions going around about Fi/Fe, which is why threads like this quickly become a battlefield.

Again, just my 2¢. I may elaborate a little later.
 

skylights

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mm. we're close deep down inside, but our outward behaviors and often our surface motivations are different.

i'm closest to INFPs personality-wise but tend to have better rapport IRL with ENFJs. i love INFJs online but i don't know how to interact with them IRL. they usually confuse me.

sometimes Fe thinks Fi is irresponsible, and vice versa. it seems that our own side of the fence pays attention to "what really matters". except not really, both functions seek to achieve the same goal (love, harmony, security, etc) in the end. they just have different touchpoints.

i am impressed by the ease at which Fe dom/aux know how to handle interpersonal situations, often. sometimes i get so wrapped up in how to take care of it perfectly and address each individual's needs and not hurt one or the other and not overstep boundaries and all that confusion... and an FJ just breezes in and handles things perfectly... it's like... :shock::heart:

MonkeyGrass said:
One major difference I've noted is that while I admire ENFPs' passion for causes, they tend to be a little more oblivious of the needs of their families or more boring responsibilities than NFJs. They have a wicked strong personal sense of right from wrong, but can be a little oblivious of the needs of their closest loved ones, even while passionately discussing something they feel strongly about. IOW, boundless compassion in some areas, but seemingly oblivious to other's pain in other areas.

yeah, we don't see the Fe needs as easily. the way we care for people is different. though to be honest, the emphasis you're putting on impersonal values here is odd. i mean, yes, i care about humanistic values, and extrapolate to a bigger picture, but i'm not that black-and-white in terms of right and wrong. INFPs are a little more solid ethically, though i would still assert that most NFPs see morality in terms of fine scales and subtle weightings, not simple Right and Wrong.

the other thing is, sometimes i think that Fe doms will take care of things that i really don't need someone taking care of for me, but they're not there to support me when i need support. like, when i'm having a hard time emotionally, what i need is someone to sit with me and empathize and just be accepting. ime (experience with mom, several close friends), Fe doms really don't like doing this. they find it useless, superfluous. the other thing i notice with NFJs is that there's often a barrier of superiority when they're helping. there's a tangible feeling of "i am the helper, you are the helped", instead of a more equal "we are both hurt persons and it's my turn to help you now". which is not to say i don't love ENFJs. i have watched over and over again the ENFJs i know do incredibly selfless things. they'll devote themselves to mentoring someone, get up and out at 3 in the morning to help someone in distress, clear their schedule for the evening to make sure that someone's going to be all right. it's beautiful.

and the way i care for people... i'll sit with them for hours and talk if that's what they need. make them presents, write them letters, help them figure out what to do next. i'll drive them across five states in the middle of the night, if that's what they need. i will do just about anything for someone i love. but it's especially when i'm passionately discussing something that i can't deal with others' needs... the problem is that Fi is attuned to inner emotions, and when my feelings are overwhelming, i can't pick up on others' very well. it's as if my internal radio were suddenly turned to loud screamo. it's awful, and i can't hear the sadness of your music because my own music is blaring. so if in an argument i seem very hurtful... it's because i'm hurting so much myself that i can't even deal with the other person right now. and often, in argument, the other person appears to be attacking me. it baffles me how my mother (ESFJ) or very close friend (ENFJ) sometimes think that i intend to hurt them when defending myself after they have accused me... i didn't chase them down and i'm defending myself... how does that even make sense... :confused:

obviously, a growth area for me is to learn how to turn down the internal radio. it's hard, though, because Fi signals are amplified by Ne.

anyway. for the record, i do regardless :heart: and am generally quite impressed by ENFJs.

Viridian said:
Oh boy, here it goes... I hope this thread doesn't become another INFJ/ENFP spat.

QFT, and seconded

Secondly, let's face it, you're no ordinary ENFP - most of them are Sevens, not Eights. Enneagram can have a pretty good influence on how people of those types function. INFPs who are Twos or Sixes can look INFJ-ish; vice-versa for INFJ Nines. Same deal with ENFP Twos or 7w6s and ENFJ Eights.

true, and true. whatever enneatype i am, i come off as Fe IRL, apparently. in the forums it's easier to see the difference. i think that's part of why i get along better in general IRL with FJs than with fellow NFPs.
 

Thalassa

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All NFPs have low neuroticism and all NFJs have high? Yeah, I don't agree with that. At all.

Also, I love NFJs. My lifelong bff, and my closest sister are both ENFJs (though I will agree my sister and I have Fe/Fi clashes at times, I think our Ne/Ni really bonds us) and I tend to admire some INFJs for their tact and self-restraint.

This isn't to say I like all NFJs. I don't like all NFPs, either.

Apparently to some people I can look NFJ (mostly to people who follow Keirsey?) at times...remember, your shadow as an ENFP is INFJ...
 

Lady_X

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All NFPs have low neuroticism and all NFJs have high? Yeah, I don't agree with that. At all.

Also, I love NFJs. My lifelong bff, and my closest sister are both ENFJs (though I will agree my sister and I have Fe/Fi clashes at times, I think our Ne/Ni really bonds us) and I tend to admire some INFJs for their tact and self-restraint.

This isn't to say I like all NFJs. I don't like all NFPs, either.

Apparently to some people I can look NFJ (mostly to people who follow Keirsey?) at times...remember, your shadow as an ENFP is INFJ...

is it? then what are people talking about when they mention having an istj shadow during stress?
 
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