[INFJ] INFJ aggression

[SilkRoad]

Tell me about your aggressive moments and what form they take! Yes it's true, INFJs CAN be aggressive

Most people think I am anything but. And mostly that is true. Perhaps it's living in London for a few years which has upped my aggression levels. I went to a gig a few nights ago and ended up in front of a guy who insisted on putting my hood over my head (perhaps, as someone suggested, he was hitting on me, but I certainly was not up for it.)

After he did this twice, I turned around and told him to f*** off. I can't tell you how unusual this is for me...well, sometimes I swear in my head or say damn etc, but that's about it. It was slightly unfortunate because I was with a teenager who I am trying to set a good example to. Of course, she just thought it was hilarious...

 

[Arclight]

I could offer my experiences, but then It seems, I am considered to be holding an INFJ grudge or something like that.
I have been the victim of INFJ aggression many times.. I have been the victim because INFJs like me and appreciate my insight into them until I spot a disparity between what they say and what they do. Then they can become quite aggressive.

So although I could offer all sorts of insight into this subject.. I will have to decline.

 

[SilkRoad]

I could offer my experiences, but then It seems, I am considered to be holding an INFJ grudge or something like that.
I have been the victim of INFJ aggression many times.. I have been the victim because INFJs like me and appreciate my insight into them until I spot a disparity between what they say and what they do. Then they can become quite aggressive.

So although I could offer all sorts of insight into this subject.. I will have to decline.

oh dear.

I was probably hoping more for amusing INFJ aggression stories...perhaps the ones that exist are not amusing!

 

[Arthur Schopenhauer]

Aggresively liking boys with issues, because of their issues, has been one I've seen.

 

[SilkRoad]

Aggresively liking boys with issues, because of their issues, has been one I've seen.

Oh dear again. There's actually something a bit familiar-sounding about that...

 

[Arclight]

A few can be kind of snappy sometimes..
The only people that have ever dared to raise their voice with me, before I raised mine first, have been INFJs..

 

[Aquarelle]

How dare anyone raise their voice to you before you raise yours first?

 

[kyli_ryan]

Aggresively liking boys with issues, because of their issues, has been one I've seen.

^^ That is a little TOO true.
I find myself especially dedicated to pursuing boys who are messes and "need" me. I need to learn that just because I say that I'm not trying to change someone, doesn't mean it's actually what I'm expecting.

Also, I've found myself to be very aggressive these past couple of weeks. I think that a lot of my aggression comes out when it's associated with being misrepresented. I have a really hard time when I feel like someone isn't understanding me, or isn't interpreting something I'm explaining or doing in the way that I mean it to be interpreted.

 

[Arclight]

How dare anyone raise their voice to you before you raise yours first?

Yeah that came out kind of wrong .. Most people don't snap at me, and I assume, others. I can raise my voice on the odd occasion and be snappy myself and that is the only time anyone ever raises their voice back. So I am under the impression most people don't start raising their voice 1st thing.

A few INFJs have snapped at me before I even knew what was going on.. and it intimidates.. and I do not intimidate easy.

 

[FakePlasticAlice]

I can definitely be one of those snappy INFJs Arc is talking about. I try to hold back as much as i can because i really do hate confrontation. However, when all the ingredients are just right i can be a real ticking time bomb! I generally catch people off guard with it as well, because i hold it in as best i can..looking quiet and withdrawn on the outside but seething underneath..then BANG!. It's never a pretty sight:/

My most recent "incident" was this past Christmas. I had observed my bf's best friend (who is also my friend) being a down right selfish asshole.. i never felt i was in the position to say anything though because as much as it bothered me i wanted to respect my bf's wishes and keep the peace. So it just grew inside of me [that's what she said]. Then one day i was having an absolutely horrible day..everyone i had come into contact with were selfish and vile (Christmas brings out the best in us doesn't it?). My Christmas spirit was completely trampled and then i had an encounter with this same guy. I was going out of my way to do something for him and his friends that i really had no interest in.. he was growing impatient and asked me if he could bring me somewhere in order to hurry things along.. i asked if he minded making a quick stop on the way.. wouldn't take 5 minutes and he barely had to go out of his way.. at that point he proceed to tell me that i was rude to ask .. i said no i was simply asking and it wasn't a big deal and to forget it (because i knew he was pushing my buttons and i was going to snap if this conversation continued)..he continued on anyway...then he stopped the car and i got out at my stop..as i was getting out he said, somewhat under his breath, that i was taking advantage of him... then... BANG!
I honestly do not remember what happened after that.. it was just a furious rage.

building of negative emotion = CHECK
really bad day = CHECK
treating someone i love poorly = CHECK
selfish, self absorbed = CHECK
hypocritical = CHECK
taking advantage of me = CHECK
accusing me of something that i despise and couldn't be further from the truth = CHECK

All the right ingredient for an Alice Bomb.

I'm not proud of it but it had to happen. If i had let it slide it would have eaten away at me until i gave him a piece of my mind.. which i would rather do in the moment than go home and sit on it for however long then bring it up out of the blue.

 

[Aquarelle]

accusing me of something that i despise and couldn't be further from the truth = CHECK

This'll usually do it for me.

 

[Virulence]

"Do as I say, not as I do." Always irritates me really badly.

Being used, taken advantage of, manipulated and strung along, having the boundaries I set get crossed or broken, personal space invaded...

Biggest thing that pisses me off? Forgiving someone for a mistake they made, after I make sure they understand how hurt I was, usually in regards to one of the above things, only to have them do it again.

 

[kyli_ryan]

building of negative emotion = CHECK
really bad day = CHECK
treating someone i love poorly = CHECK
selfish, self absorbed = CHECK
hypocritical = CHECK
taking advantage of me = CHECK
accusing me of something that i despise and couldn't be further from the truth = CHECK

All the right ingredient for an Alice Bomb.

I completely identify with ALL OF THE ABOVE. I also had a rather nasty explosion of INFJ aggressive behavior on Christmas this year... It really IS the best time of year.

I live away at school and hadn't been home in a year. I have an estrogen filled house at home with my mother, grandmother, aunt, cousin, and cousin's 22 month old all living in my mom's house. My cousin is a horror and pushes her baby off on anyone and is SO SELFISH and I literally can't stand to live in the same house as her because of this INFJ build-up.

Christmas- I had gone shopping the day before with the baby and her grandmother for her (the baby's) Christmas presents, then we had a family dinner... where my cousin outright got snide with me about holding HER baby... then I came home and was happy to help out and wrap all the presents. They stayed in my room all night, I set up the tree for her in the morning.. and then my cousin just came in my room and set another present on my bed... expecting me to wrap it without even asking... that annoyed me a little bit... but then after the baby opened the presents, I set the stuff up while my cousin sat around playing computer games... and then SHE LEFT TO HAVE LUNCH WITH HER FRIEND... on Christmas.. when she has a child. I was beyond pissed and EXPLODED on her

I feel kind of bad, because my mother told her that if I move home after school then they have to move out.. I just don't know how to handle being in the same environment with her...

 

[FakePlasticAlice]

^ *shakes head* people...

 

[Arclight]

"Do as I say, not as I do." Always irritates me really badly.

Being used, taken advantage of, manipulated and strung along, having the boundaries I set get crossed or broken, personal space invaded...

Biggest thing that pisses me off? Forgiving someone for a mistake they made, after I make sure they understand how hurt I was, usually in regards to one of the above things, only to have them do it again.

Yes!!! This one (BOLD) is how you make an INFJ aggressive.. I am a bad boy in this case.. A very bad boy indeed.

It's also how to make me aggressive.. Hmmm

The first two are also things INFJs have been known to do as well, at least in my experiences .
They are also things they accused me of.

Do NFJs just not like seeing themselves in others??

 

[iwakar]

It can indeed be a WTF moment for many.

Skip to 01:00 in. [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4SqXl9Zj6k&NR=1"]Surprise Attack[/YOUTUBE]

lmao Kamikaze when cornerned.