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[ENFP] How to spot an ENFP a mile off

CarbonMonoxide

New member
Joined
May 7, 2013
Messages
1
MBTI Type
ENFP
Yes always a bad decision

Do you enfp's consistently seem to make bad relationship decisions? Enter into a relationship that was not right, break off a relationship that probably was right, reject a person only to regret it later?

I am a trader. I can consistently pick tops and bottoms the markets correctly. I amaze myself at my ability to do that.:shocking: It comes partly from my very strong Ne. I've spent a few years now obsessively studying the markets.:coffee: But I almost always screw up my trades when I apply judgment to my perception.:doh: What I described above in my question I will do with my trading. This is why I have decided I will do better if I leave the judgment calls to my computer.

Do you have similar problems with people?

Yes I have been making all wrong decisions in life. Primary reason of letting go of good people is, I still think I am too young to be tied down to boring people but whenever I really feel, I wanna be with this guy forever, that feeling is never reciprocated and it's nipped in the bud very harshly. So, obv., in those moments I am so distraught, cz., I always have it figured out well in advance how our relationship would be and how we wd be perfect without actually consulting that person. How stupid that can be, I always realize it when it's all over and I am forced to face the reality that bites me bad.

How to spot me: I am a total hybrid: introvert as well as extrovert

Ok, starting with the fun part: My Extrovert Nature:
1) Boy, can I make people laugh? Sure can! Any day, any time, one word and whoa the whole crowd lights up! I am invited to the parties to make sure everyone is having the time of their lives!
2) Bursting with energy, yes always, just always! I love spontaneous activities and can take care of them in the blink of an eye. These are some of the reviews by my supervisor, "If you wanna get paid for more hours, please don't do that work so quickly", "You are just unbelievable, too quick". One should see the horror+daze in the eyes of the people who live/work with me when some seemingly gargantuan and complex task gets done in the matter of seconds or minutes.
3) I am always laughing. That is my natural state. I love people who make me laugh. My cheeks hurt, I experience muscle tension. Cz, I laugh a lot and then if there is someone with a funny bone, I crash down convulsing.
4) I can strike up a conversation with anyone. One smile and bam, there we go! Some people are tough to open up, but it is always easier for me to reach anyone no matter how long it takes. My eyes are always on them :D I keep figuring out how to make them so comfortable that they would talk at ease without any shyness or fear or any kind of insecurity. People don't understand why is there so much urge inside me to keep talking and talking to everybody anybody all the time.
5) Everyone remembers me. Especially in social gatherings of family and friends. They actually miss me and fight with me when I miss something.
6) I operate in multiple circles. I am friends with everyone and everyone however introvert is at least friends with me.
7) I can't keep up with deadlines and I can't certainly remember details like people's names, b'days and events, probably cz my circle is just too big. That's just too much information for me. My best friend calls me on her b'day cz it's just always too big of an issue for me to wish her on time. Every year I know, ok, it's her b'day, but I always forget to wish her on that particular day. But due to my extrovert skills, and exceptional conversational skills, I always overcome any problem I land into. I would always have the right words to convince anyone anything.
8) ADD yes :(. Like I can't follow all the instructions. Have to be told multiple times. But once the info has sunk in, i am good to go.


How I process:
1) Why I talk? To establish contact point with everyone, like connecting dots to understand the variability and magnanimity of my environment, be that a new workplace, school, new gang, society etc. That big picture involves countless stories, histories and amazing experiences that I love to share and be shared with. I feel lonely and unloved when I don't have people around me. I go all paranoid and I have to make sure everything is alright in the world. All it takes is just one conversation and I am back on the normal track. Even a simple conversation where I guide a person how to operate a new entrance door, charges me up to full amp! That small conversation is sufficient for me to forget all worries, start afresh, spot clean my apartment and be ready for the meeting the next day. It is absolutely essential for my well being to talk to people. That is my energy source besides all the food I gobble up.
2) I operate on a switch, when at work, I am so spontaneous and engrossed that I don't have time to explain anything to anyone, I just passionately do my work, like that's the only thing for me that moment. I do not like to be monitored but since I can't keep up with deadlines, I feel grateful when someone checks up on me. But I am usually hostile to people when they interrupt the work I am carrying on passionately. When the work is done and I am all free, I flex my muscle and I am a party animal all over again. I forget that I just hurt the feelings of my friend who just wanted to see if I was alright when I was working. But one conversation and they start cracking up.
3) Why do I get along with everyone? I empathize with everyone and I love people in general. I think they are amazing, each one of them
4) Why I don't get along with some people? I do have a very good memory of feelings. Whenever I encounter some particular type of a person who harmed me beyond a tolerable limit or was mean to me in a horrific way (too critical or just too condescending), I avoid the very sight of such a person. Even then, I give new people a benefit of doubt and start talking to them by measuring every word. It is a guilty pleasure for me, doing smth exciting, talking and mingling with a harmful human being :p.
5) I am continuously in a learning mode. Understanding my environment and doing things the way they fit my ideals and goals. Converging everything to that particular point and taking my life forward with it.
6) I take charge whenever I can. No work ever fails under my leadership cz I assume leadership only when I have a full understanding of the environment (people involved) and I can see that people are stuck and definitely can't see the woods for the trees. My ideas are spontaneous and electric, they pierce through the system and gets even the most preposterous work done.
7) When do I not take charge? When I know the current leadership is awesome. When I have no interest in that thing. When I am clueless about the environment or the system itself.
8) What happens when people talk to me? I love people and the package that comes with them. The entire package. Their personalities, their ideas, thought processes, ways of dealing with things, emotions and problems. I learn from them every moment since I am always analyzing everything happening in my life and somewhere somehow, some person provides that missing piece that concludes my analysis. I love to inspire them whenever I feel they are so off the track and they need someone to put them back on the cool track. I am a problem solver and an empathizer who can carry the load of everyone to every level till they are completely completely well by themselves. Everyone knows whom to contact when they are distraught and this always surprises me how do people know that they can talk to me? Even when I am in a completely new environment. Usually a person who is very comic, who laughs at everything can't be trusted with inner most feelings and emotions, what if that person cracks up when you want a hug? Nobody ever felt that ways for me, they have always been sure that I could be trusted with everything. My brother is a solid example of some of the people who regularly discuss every major thing happening in their lives with me and I take it upon me to solve each one of them. It is a gift of god to me. This very thing is very precious for me and it gives me confidence that come what may, I will always save my family. I sometimes let myself be proud of the fact how I saved so many lives and relationships, including my own family, in my life by being there as the sane person in times of need. The fact that every human being around me trusts me makes me feel elated.
9) I truly hate people who criticize me and put me down constantly. If you can't appreciate my basic nature to talk then please don't be with me obsessively, I would find freedom and I would fly away. But when it starts to happen, I don't have the heart to tell them the truth, I just say smth here and there and try to make them understand by beating the bush. But when they don't I give up (usually after a year or so) and I take the exit and safely distance myself from those people. I just wish I could take my own side and be a fierce warrior when it came to relationships. I can at least slap someone on the wrist and tell them that it's not ok to hurt someone who wouldn't in the whole world think ill of them in their very worst situation. Also, I assume everyone is honest. Whenever I spot a pathologically dishonest person, I distance myself.
10) I am extremely impulsive and most of the time highly unpredictable. Cannot finish the projects I start if they don't interest me. They will keep lying around while I am complete several other projects, more complex in nature, only cz they were of interest to me. I sometimes surprise people when I leave some company or dont appreciate some achievement of mine and completely follow a different life track.

Introvert: Only and only on two conditions; when (a) I am glum due to whatever reason and (b) I am figuring things, for example, life out. What my beliefs are at that point of time. Now these could be overlapping or mutually exclusive depending upon situation.
1) It's alright for me to exist in complete harmony with people, esp. close acquaintances, in the same room/building without any obligation to talk.
2) For long stretches of time (several months), I would put some relation of mine, for example with best friend, mom, even boyfriend etc, on hold.
3) When I am too glum, for example after a serious debacle in career or relationship, I am suffering so much that I just hope everyone around me to understand my pain and for one moment not judge my silence for weakness and my inability to speak anything at all.
4) I lose my confidence and I really can't communicate at all until I get out of that shock period, that can last for a substantially long time, usually 3-4 months. I take it upon me, assume all responsibility, for my debacle that, I believe, usually happens cz I envision just too much, basing one thing on top of another in an unstoppable cascade, so if one thing falls out of that stack, the entire system falls down.
5) I cannot take any kind of criticism, my sense of humor freezes to death. The usual face that lights the room up and is always about to crack up on slightest of provocations seems to be a store house of intense sorrow. I burst into tears whenever someone is extraordinarily mean. My head is bowed down like I would never be able to face the world again. It is so intense that, people around me, even the meanest of the lot feel the emergency to hug me or step away from me. I get scared of people who I know are potentially harmful since they are blunt and won't ever care about other's feelings. My usual coolness with them vanishes.
6) When I have self-pittied and over-analyzed everything to my fill, I start going out and mingling with people and slowly return to my normal self.

Well, I am a whole human being. I can't be summarized here but it was nice to share whatever I wanted to anyway.
 

someoneelse

New member
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May 23, 2015
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ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
What makes us tick? Someone who we can have a deep conversation with and 5 minutes later go completely crazy with! :D
 

Mane

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Jul 2, 2014
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How to spot an ENFP a mile off

$(KGrHqMOKjcE0w3y3rrDBNeSZI,MY!~~_35.JPG
 

INTP

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sx
Just follow the rainbow
 

BadOctopus

Suave y Fuerte
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sp/sx
They can often be seen having in-depth conversations with complete strangers.

Also, they usually have a lot of energy. Even when standing still, they're moving: gesticulating with their hands, shifting their weight from one foot to the other, etc.

And their faces are open books.
 

chubber

failed poetry slam career
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They probe to see if you are ok with scenario A, then if you are ok with scenario A, they go ahead and ask you about scenario B based on the "logic" they gained from scenario A and if you say you are not ok with scenario B, then be ready for them coming with double axe "logic" assaults when they are not getting their way.

and by "logic", I mean, their own internal human "logic" that is for sure not the hell like mine.
 

lulabelle

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sp/sx
for ENFP: look for the energetic, happy-go-lucky person who has INFJs and INTJs drooling over them

for INFP: look for the person sitting alone, looking sad, without any friends or suitors LOL
 

Doctor Cringelord

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you can spot them from their hastily typed, stream-of-conscious walls of text posted on forums.
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
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They probe to see if you are ok with scenario A, then if you are ok with scenario A, they go ahead and ask you about scenario B based on the "logic" they gained from scenario A and if you say you are not ok with scenario B, then be ready for them coming with double axe "logic" assaults when they are not getting their way.

and by "logic", I mean, their own internal human "logic" that is for sure not the hell like mine.

A = false ⊨
A ∧ B = true ⇒
:angry:
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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Jan 19, 2010
Messages
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:unicorn::fiesta::heart:


Awesome thread. I love that I can spend ages talking about something and another party will be looking at me really strangely wondering what the hell I am talking about and then I get to a point and suddenly they go "Wait, what? how did you get to the right conclusion?"


Just because it's not mainstream logic does not mean it won't get us there in the end. You might not realise what you are missing out on in the detour. :smile:
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
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I can definitely relate to that! I've always had the most trouble in identifying either as an Introvert or Extrovert before reading up on the MBTI and learning of my ENFP type. But seriously, I go through cycles of extroversion and introversion all the time.
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
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They are the ones interested in everything, nearly everything is fascinating to an ENFP, i say nearly everything as some incredibly tedious things are not of interest such as daily chores, IT safety (cleaning screens, where to place cups etc) but pretty much everything else. At least until they know a great deal about it. Imo ENFP's retain a child like wonder when encountering new things or things they have yet to learn a great deal about.

If you want to engage an ENFP teach them new things, if they think you an expert or at least more in the know they will be amused until the subject is worn. Then... give them a new thing... especially shiny things.
 

ScareBear

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Dec 20, 2014
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MBTI Type
ENFP
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7w6
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sx/sp
If you want to engage an ENFP teach them new things, if they think you an expert or at least more in the know they will be amused until the subject is worn. Then... give them a new thing... especially shiny things.

Yes. I feel like Johnny Five in Short Circuit, "More input, Stephanie!"
 

Forever

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I sill have no idea how to spot an ENFP. :(
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
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I sill have no idea how to spot an ENFP. :(

Once you spot one in the wild, you'll know. You'll know :wink:

Haha actually, I don't even think I could spot one myself! I think what can make us difficult to spot is that we're both extroverts and introverts, even at the same party. One moment I'm bouncing around the room talking to various people, then the next moment I'm having some deep conversation with someone along the wall near the punch bowl. I was actually perusing this thread hoping to learn more about myself and if I give off any potential clues to my type to others, and I don't think I'm all that much closer myself.
 

Forever_Jung

Active member
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May 23, 2009
Messages
2,644
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Of all the types to worry about spotting, the ENFP shouldn't be one of them. There's probably one desperately vying for your attention at this very moment. ;)
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
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Jul 26, 2015
Messages
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you can spot them from their hastily typed, stream-of-conscious walls of text posted on forums.

Guilty haha. I am known among my friends to have super long texts, emails, you name it. I can't help it!
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
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Messages
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They can often be seen having in-depth conversations with complete strangers.

Also, they usually have a lot of energy. Even when standing still, they're moving: gesticulating with their hands, shifting their weight from one foot to the other, etc.

And their faces are open books.

Great incite! I agree 100% I'm always fidgeting, not because of nervousness, but just extra internal energy I need to burn off, and also having the worst poker face imaginable. I've sometimes even explained to people that I compare myself to a shark. I always have to keep moving otherwise I'd die, sometimes I think literally too.
 

amazonian

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Sep 25, 2015
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ISFJ
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9W1
They are incredibly entertaining. Their emotions are not exactly the most stable, but we love them anyway. The best way to spot an ENFP is to be with them when someone does something they they did not like. For example, I was with an ENFP friend one time, and her friend did not show up when he said he would. She immediately jumped to the conclusion that he hated her. That, to me, is ENFP in a nutshell, as every ENFP I've ever known has reacted similarly.
 

RobinSkye

What Is Life?
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Jul 21, 2015
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572
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INTP
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541
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sp/sx
Of all the types to worry about spotting, the ENFP shouldn't be one of them. There's probably one desperately vying for your attention at this very moment. ;)

These sorts of comments are convincing me that I can rule out ENFP as an option for myself. Although it fits my preferences quite well, I don't think my Ne/Fi works in that way at all. I'm certainly not attention-seeking. I only really seek meaningful connection, and don't care to be around people otherwise so much.
 
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