[NF] NFs and stress...

[GZA]

I do this too. And I almost always regret it later when I've ripped someone a new one in my altered state. Hmmm... I wonder if "The Hulk" is an image of an INFP under stress. Mild-mannered so-and-so becomes a giant green raging beast when pushed too far.

I've been compared to the Hulk and felt I could relate to him when I was younger

 

["?"]

I don't think that description is very good... The things are so all over the place. It's essentially saying there's nothing in common INFJs do when stressed.

In common with what Nighting?

 

["?"]

when i get stressed i use Ti most.

Which makes sense, assuming you are INFJ. It's my theory that no particular type goes totally to their weakest function without going through the succession. For an INFJ, their next introverted function will be Ti and the extraverted Se. I had a discussion with DD on this exact same thing since the ISTPs next E/I functions would be Ni-Fe, causing them to may give an appearance of an immature INFJ.

 

[redacted]

Which makes sense, assuming you are INFJ. It's my theory that no particular type goes totally to their weakest function without going through the succession. For an INFJ, their next introverted function will be Ti and the extraverted Se. I had a discussion with DD on this exact same thing since the ISTPs next E/I functions would be Ni-Fe, causing them to may give an appearance of an immature INFJ.

i dunno if i agree with that model. i use Ti all the time anyways -- in some ways it's stronger than my Fe. and the time in which i'm using Se the most is when i'm playing music -- pretty much the least stressful time possible.

i mean, it's possible the model applies to most people. but it doesn't apply to me very well. i think any kind of strict model is gonna leave people out.

500 posts!

 

[cascadeco]

i dunno if i agree with that model. i use Ti all the time anyways -- in some ways it's stronger than my Fe. and the time in which i'm using Se the most is when i'm playing music -- pretty much the least stressful time possible.

i mean, it's possible the model applies to most people. but it doesn't apply to me very well. i think any kind of strict model is gonna leave people out.

500 posts!

Yep, I would agree.

 

[nightning]

I don't exactly agree with that either...

Usually something stress you out because it goes against your dominant & auxiliary function. A problem that can't be readily handled by those two.

Stress... next option would be tertiary... however I don't think you can ever turn off the dominant function. Certainly not Ni in my case. Depends on how well tertiary is developed for you. Mine isn't bad... so I get stressed out when my tertiary Ti can't cope. Then there's only inferior function remaining that shows up.

However everything is still driven by your dominant.

So in my case... it explains the too many thoughts in my mind going way to fast and not making any sense. That's Ni on overdrive and Ti trying but failing to keep up... The emotional outburst and movement will be inferior leaking out.

So depending on how stressed out you are, you slide along those functions. But your dominant ALWAYS drives everything.

 

[redacted]

that makes sense.

though i can't think of a time i've ever reached Se that way...i guess my first 3 always handle everything.

well...i think Fi comes in, too.

 

[Judous]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?
I become more withdrawn, i also get moody and become extra sensitive.

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?
Not good. I get really confused when i'm stressed, and i really go into what i think is a "thinking mode", but really i just get more irrational than ever and say things that don't make a lot of sense.

How do you deal with stress?
it depends on how stressed i actually am, but unfortunately i usually eat or cry, and then i go somewhere to be alone and lay there and look up at the ceiling trying not to think of anything.

What kinds of things stress you out?
bills,bills,not having enough money to pay bills,when anything bad happens that i don't expect(like my car breaking down or something), trying to do too much,meeting deadlines, being late for something.

Interesting, I have a girlfriend that is an INFP. We have been together 2 years. I have found out in that time that she reacts almost exactly in this way as well.

I think I do a very good job of being patient, understanding, and overall just being there for her. But I still find that there can be amounts of time where she is just shut down.

Could you maybe give some advice on how you would like someone to help you in times of stress? Or is this something that can't really be helped and she needs to get through it on her own?

 

[scantilyclad]

Interesting, I have a girlfriend that is an INFP. We have been together 2 years. I have found out in that time that she reacts almost exactly in this way as well.

I think I do a very good job of being patient, understanding, and overall just being there for her. But I still find that there can be amounts of time where she is just shut down.

Could you maybe give some advice on how you would like someone to help you in times of stress? Or is this something that can't really be helped and she needs to get through it on her own?

honestly i've found that there isn't anything that can really help me when i'm feeling this way, no matter how patient or understanding a person is, you just don't think they really understand. But it also depends on the situation that is stressing me out. For instance, My clutch went out in a really bad area a few months ago, so i was stranded on the side of the road scared and pregnant, so i call my boyfriend crying and although he thought i was being a bit irrational he came to my side as quickly as he could and got me out of there, and my stress was immediately gone.
However if it is something that can't be fixed so soon, there really isn't anything anyone can do. If your girlfriend is anything like me, she'll just want to sort of be alone and eat some ice cream or something until the issue resolves itself, or she feels up to resolving the issue. You being patient and understanding really will help though, because people who aren't patient and understanding ALWAYS make the situation worse.

 

[Judous]

honestly i've found that there isn't anything that can really help me when i'm feeling this way, no matter how patient or understanding a person is, you just don't think they really understand. But it also depends on the situation that is stressing me out. For instance, My clutch went out in a really bad area a few months ago, so i was stranded on the side of the road scared and pregnant, so i call my boyfriend crying and although he thought i was being a bit irrational he came to my side as quickly as he could and got me out of there, and my stress was immediately gone.
However if it is something that can't be fixed so soon, there really isn't anything anyone can do. If your girlfriend is anything like me, she'll just want to sort of be alone and eat some ice cream or something until the issue resolves itself, or she feels up to resolving the issue. You being patient and understanding really will help though, because people who aren't patient and understanding ALWAYS make the situation worse.

Thanks for the reply. That information is helpful

To bad the issues she has are circumstances that are pretty difficult to overcome. Her and I being in a long distance relationship, bills, and taking care of her impossible mother. All of these things at once take a huge toll on her.

Though on a good note, all of these things will be resolved soon. =)

 

[Chopsifer]

"What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?"
-I freak out. I might as well act as if the world is ending. I run away from anyone and everyone and criticize them in the security of.. my car for example. I tend to yell a lot and cry a lot as well. I also kind of go into an existential crises and adapt some sort of a solipsist outlook on reality.

"How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?"
-Well, I normally am not quite such an easily angered person. Like I said earlier, I feel impending doom in the future, like nothing is going to get better. It is extremely negative.

"How do you deal with stress?"
-Somehow or another, a solution is reached after time after I spend hours sorting things out in my mind. Talking to people very rarely helps me. They tell me, "it is going to be alright, everything will be fine" or other things of that nature, but I normally have to reach that conclusion in my own mind and rationale before I ever feel better.

"What kinds of things stress you out?"
-Being told a lot of things to do at once, being forced into any sort of a situation that involves conflict, and having any sort of my values criticized or put down.

I hope that could help in any way, shape, or form!

 

[TK*]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

When stressed I usually start obessing over small details usually making myself more stressed. When really stressed I get physically ill.

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

I become really panicky and hysterical. "OMG I gotta do THIS! OMG I gotta do THAT! OMG! OMG! OMG!" etc.

How do you deal with stress?

The best way for me to deal with stress is to get a grip. I'm the type of person who will obsess and obsess and run around in a small circle not going anywhere unless I'm suddenly jarred from the stress itself. Usually hearing my boyfriend say: "Hey, TK...what are you freaking out for?..Relax!" really helps.

What kinds of things stress you out?

Money, parents, school, my boyfriend.

 

[quietgirl]

In continuation of the "SJs and stress" thread, I've decided to inquire about NFs and stress.

My questions:

• What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?
• How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?
• How do you deal with stress?
• What kinds of things stress you out?

Lately I've been overwhelmingly stressed, so I'll just answer what I've been doing NOW (haha).

1. I either get withdrawn or needy, depending on the stresser. I'll also break plans frequently when I'm normally the type to stick to them - kinda get flaky. There have been instances when I've quit everything going on in my life when I'm stressed. I'll get stuck in analyzation mode & not take much action. I'll get impulsive (and I'm the furthest thing from an impulsive person), but I never do impulsive activities gracefully - as in if I go out drinking, I'll make a mess of myself. If I go shopping, I'll spend money wayyy out of my budget. I'm guessing a naturally impulsive person would have a little more control than I do. I hate to admit it, but I can start down the road of blaming others for my stress and setting up unrealistic expectations of others. Physically, I'll stop eating when stressed.

When I'm dealing with prolonged stress, I'll start personalizing everything & head towards depression. I'll also have more of a tendency to cry & let my emotions out when I normally have a good amount of control over them. I'm known to get into freak out mode & sometimes get hysterical.

2. Hmm... PANIC. I totally panic. Also, I can take on the martyr egocentricity, so to say. I'll think everyone I've overextended myself to (usually the cause of the stress) "owes" me, but I'll keep thinking that I need to sacrifice all of my needs for them. I tend to see things more from my point of view (which is right, duh - kidding!) instead of looking at something from all points of view like I normally do. I also "go too far" by not recognizing when to stop and leave the subject alone - that switch just doesn't turn on when I'm stressed. I'll occasionally take on the "I'm going to save the world" mindframe or the opposite "I hate you all for making me do so much for you" when nobody is actually making me do anything. I'm sure it's very annoying to others.

3. Small amounts of stress are usually dealt with by resolving the problem, usually with a compromise, and moving on from it mentally. I wish I could say I threw myself into a hobby or some mindless activity, but I don't at all. Long term stress leaves me feeling lost and unable to cope & I've sought therapy in those instances.

4. Constant demands from others seem to be the one thing that is guaranteed to drive me straight over the stress edge. However, I tend to bring it upon myself because I enjoy helping others. I think it's the when the "taking advantage of me" line is crossed. Also, I'll get stressed when I don't get enough private recharge time and when I overschedule myself and can't complete anything. I get extremelly stressed when others are angry with me.

 

[heart]

When I get stressed, most likely to go into Te mode and think all can be fixed with a checklist approach or bulldog attitude. It eventually wears me out...

 

[quietmusician]

* What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?
I don't talk for at least a week. And I may eat more or less.

* How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?
Way altered. I turn into a total jackass.

* How do you deal with stress?
I don't, really. I just listen to music to keep me busy.

* What kinds of things stress you out?
Life. People. Stupid stuff.

 

[nolla]

What kind of behaviors do you exhibit when stressed?

I become clumsy and angry. I feel pressure on my chest.

How is your normal mode of thinking altered when stressed?

Well, I don't think as clearly and the annoyance with the situation pops up repeatedly to interrupt my thoughts.

How do you deal with stress?

Take a walk. Listen to angry music... I'd like to scream, I'm sure it would help, but I am worried someone will hear.

What kinds of things stress you out?

Annoying/angry/ignorant people. Things I need to remember. Responsibility.