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[Jungian Cognitive Functions] Blinded By Gender Stereotypes

"?"

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One of the first things learned years ago, are that males battling with T/F are most likely feeling types who are attempting to fit into the gender roles placed on them by society and vice versa for women.

For those males who have determined their preference for Fi or Fe, was this a struggle and if so how did you overcome it? I would think it harder for Fe types (ENFJ and INFJ) since this is more pronounced to external sources, the fact that most fail to understand that emotions play no role in type and that Fe is just as rational as Te and even more than the other functions.
 

Venom

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i disagree, i think Fi is harder than Fe for males.

Fe can be very good at social dynamics for girls or guys....people with strong Fe are generally well liked.

Fi just comes off as emo sometimes.


i think for girls its the opposite. Te is more difficult than Ti...i think its because Te can be more obnoxious :) lol.



to answer your question:
i still havent really gotten over it. i cant imagine sharing my true F with all the S's around me. the N;s i know seem to be more understanding of my male F-ness. for example: god help me if my frat brothers knew i watched purple rain the other day :)
 

Totenkindly

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One of the first things learned years ago, are that males battling with T/F are most likely feeling types who are attempting to fit into the gender roles placed on them by society and vice versa for women.

Not necessarily. Sometimes it also involves childhood conditioning -- for example, T males who were demanded to "be nice" and please everyone by an Fe crazed mom, or basically the family would fall apart.

Or maybe women who were forced to take care of their family in tangible ways, because the parents were unable to do so / unable to organize their lives to make things happen. Women forced into Te mode because of that might become confused over T/F later in life, even if they are naturally F's. They were forced to suppress their own values in order to reach tangible goals in surviving.
 

redacted

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i had a hard time figuring out i'm an F. but i don't think it really had anything to do with gender roles. i've always been kinda feminine when it comes to talking about emotions, etc, and i'd be the first to admit it.

it was hard because i'm so obsessed with logic/math/computer programming etc. and people used to tell me i'm like a computer... blah blah. i knew i had strong Ti and Fe, but then i finally figured out the difference between Ne and Ni and realized INFJ is the only type that fits my functions.

i see where you're coming from though.
 

runvardh

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Emo... heh, sounds familiar.

I suppose it's entertaining having to chose between your fellow males avoiding you and being an ass hole... ^_^
 

The Third Rider

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Its fun, last time I tried to explain and show that I am an emotional guy I got laughed at by a girl and proceded to be called a pussy.:dry: Oh and my best friend says that I think like a woman.:dry: Sometimes I really do wish I wasn't a feeler.
 

disregard

mrs
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Its fun, last time I tried to explain and show that I am an emotional guy I got laughed at by a girl and proceded to called a pussy.:dry: Oh and my best friend says that I think like a woman.:dry: Sometimes I really do wish I wasn't a feeler.

That is so tacky.. Don't worry, that girl will get the wifebeater she so wants and deserves. ;)
 

The Third Rider

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That is so tacky.. Don't worry, that girl will get the wifebeater she so wants and deserves. ;)

well I really wouldn't want that to happen to her, she is a friend of my. She is not a bad person I guess is just that, well, I guess people don't really understand most guys that have "feelings." That is why I try to hide my emotions and almost never let them out so to speak.
 

Seanan

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I agree with Dana. How tacky. I have "redneck" friends and enjoy them... with that said, she sounds like a certain type of one of those or one of the local "cowgirls."
 

wedekit

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I spent years repressing my Fe, though I didn't know it by that name then. All the way up until the end of my senior year of High School. I had only girls as friends most of my life because of the ridicule I received from other males throughout the years. The main thing was I didn't want to hurt or be hurt (socially) by anyone, so I never made fun of other people and I stood against those who did. But that just shifted their attention to me and so I became severely introverted. I'm just now coming back out of my shell in college.

You might find this article useful:
What's It Like To Be A Thinking Woman? What's It Like To Be A Feeling Man?
 

Atomic Fiend

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It's not too bad, I mean I have more friend-girls then friend-boys, and I'm absolutely okay with that.
 

GZA

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I never denied my emotional nature to myself and its been evident to others my whole life. I never struggled with it much, other than being picked on because I react. When I found mbti, being called a feeler naturally made sense.

Gender role never had anything to do with it. I'm a man, but I don't, and never did, see T/F being related to either gender, and I still don't (I've met enough cold, T women and fuzzy F guys to see no strong correlation besides socialization).
 

vince

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It was definitely pretty confusing for me to grow up as a male with Fe preference. It's such an atypical combination that it inevitably leads to communicative schisms. Especially in communication with stereotypical males. A lot of guys seem to be misjudging my sensitivity as a form of weakness and think I'm an easy target. And then they're even more confused when that turns out different. It took a long time but now that I'm in my twenties I've gotten comfortable with it. I've came to except that most people need to be around me for a while before they're used to me. To put it harsh : The dumber other people are or the more stereotypical they think the more confusing they find me.
 

theshadow

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Its fun, last time I tried to explain and show that I am an emotional guy I got laughed at by a girl and proceded to be called a pussy.:dry: Oh and my best friend says that I think like a woman.:dry: Sometimes I really do wish I wasn't a feeler.

Similar situation for me as well... it really does seem hard to explain to women that there is a difference between being primarily a feeler and emotional. I understand why the latter isnt attractive. but I really hate it when.. ok here is an example, I heard this sad story about how someone with a pet dog had to put the babies down because there birth would have killled the bitch. and I said something along the lines of "thats so sad" and was immediatly left by a girl who had been showing signifigant interest in me. what the fuck is that? am I supposed to be an asshole?
 

Seanan

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and I said something along the lines of "thats so sad" and was immediatly left by a girl who had been showing signifigant interest in me. what the fuck is that? am I supposed to be an asshole?

No and the sea is full of women who would seriously appreciate a man who is man enough to say what he feels. I think she is sad.

Sorry if I interrupted the thread... I didn't go back to read and have mine set up to read the most recent post... I just couldn't pass this one up... it made me mad actually.
 

runvardh

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No and the sea is full of women who would seriously appreciate a man who is man enough to say what he feels. I think she is sad.

Sorry if I interrupted the thread... I didn't go back to read and have mine set up to read the most recent post... I just couldn't pass this one up... it made me mad actually.

The joys of reality ^_^
 

The Third Rider

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Similar situation for me as well... it really does seem hard to explain to women that there is a difference between being primarily a feeler and emotional. I understand why the latter isnt attractive. but I really hate it when.. ok here is an example, I heard this sad story about how someone with a pet dog had to put the babies down because there birth would have killled the bitch. and I said something along the lines of "thats so sad" and was immediatly left by a girl who had been showing signifigant interest in me. what the fuck is that? am I supposed to be an asshole?
Yeah it sucks that is why I try to keep my mouth shut.
 

quietmusician

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I don't follow any gender stereotypes. No point, I do what I want.
 

Skyward

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I don't follow any gender stereotypes. No point, I do what I want.

Kinna the same here. Too self conscious in a lot of way 'What if they think x? or y? Or even z?' :doh: - I just keep my mouth shut.

What's cool is being able to talk about 'Oh, she married her wife a couple weeks ago' and everyone ELSE makes a conversational doubletake: "So she's lesbian?" - 'Yup, so? :huh:'

Life would be easier if people didn't live off of stereotypes :)

I said 'I feel a little emo today, its cool' - "Do you need a hug? Usually when someone says theyre emo they want to hurt themselves." - 'No, no, its cool actually. Might be the markers. :D'
 
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