[MBTI General] The Asperger's Appreciation Thread!

[AgentF]

i've seen several references to asperger's on the forum. if i recall correctly, most of them were coming from NFs who had some kind of special bond with people having asperger's.

i've a nephew who i suspect has asperger's and i used to manage a man who had it. i feel really protective about them both, although i never seem able to get to their inner core (they actually seem inside out...or maybe it's like Dr. Horrible said, and there are 3 layers. anyway! ENFP moment). my nephew struggles with anger and i'm the only one who seems to be able to calm him down. my former team-mate was a wreck anytime someone spoke to him, except for me...i'm the only one he gave direct eye contact to.

anyway, i think they're under-appreciated. what have been your experiences?

and also curious: has anyone dated someone with asperger's? my nephew's now interested in girls and i'm wondering what lies ahead for him.

 

[Synapse]

Whats your nephew angry about?
Talk more about this topic, why don't people with asperger's like to give direct eye contact?

 

[Torai]

Whats your nephew angry about?
Talk more about this topic, why don't people with Asperger's like to give direct eye contact?

Cause of hypersensitivity. Eye contact feels uncomfortable to us because we can go into sensory overload if we look people in the eye.

 

[Moonflower]

Are there any other NFs besides me who have Asperger's?

When I go to groups for people with AS (both real-life and online), it seems that around 70% of the people are INTs of some sort (INTP seems like the #1 type). SJs aren't too uncommon, either, and IS_Ps (mostly ISTPs) pop up from time to time. I don't think I've ever met a fellow NF with Asperger's though. That could explain why I never feel like I fit in among other Asperger's people.

 

[Torai]

NF's with Asperger's are pretty damn common, in my opinion. They're just clever at hiding it.

 

[Seymour]

NF's with Asperger's are pretty damn common, in my opinion. They're just clever at hiding it.

I find that interesting, since as an INFP I seem to devote a lot of mental energy toward building a mental model of what the other person is thinking and feeling. Given that people with Asperger's have a hard time with developing a real theory of mind, it makes me think their subjective experience would be quite different.

Having the emotional hypersensitivity without a theory of mind would seem to make for a chaotic experience, where one would seem to be bombarded by the perceptions of random emotions from people whose motivations were almost always opaque. Sounds scary and stressful.

 

[AgentF]

Whats your nephew angry about?
Talk more about this topic, why don't people with asperger's like to give direct eye contact?

in my nephew's case, everything. likely the root cause is his parent's divorce when he was 6. but he really seems to lack people management skills, except for a few of us who aren't deterred and love him effusively regardless of how standoffish he seems. he looks down a lot. i suspect eye contact is too intense for him. even with me, he will hardly look me in the eye. but he will always let me into his room to talk to him after an emotional outburst. usually not others. interestingly enough, the most popular girl in school has a crush on him!

 

[AgentF]

Cause of hypersensitivity. Eye contact feels uncomfortable to us because we can go into sensory overload if we look people in the eye.

the man i recently dated tests as INTJ and often INTP...he said he reserves eye contact for people he knows well/trusts, as it's too intimate otherwise. as a result, our first date was spent almost entirely in profile.

 

[Qlip]

the man i recently dated tests as INTJ and often INTP...he said he reserves eye contact for people he knows well/trusts, as it's too intimate otherwise. as a result, our first date was spent almost entirely in profile.

I don't know if this is on topic, but, how did you meet him, and who asked out who?

 

[Aquarelle]

and also curious: has anyone dated someone with asperger's? my nephew's now interested in girls and i'm wondering what lies ahead for him.

I've never dated a guy with Asperger's, but I have a friend who has it and he is now engaged.

 

[Savage Idealist]

Originally posted by Moonflower
Are there any other NFs besides me who have Asperger's?

Yes: me

I actually see aspergers not as a condition that works against me, but more as an integral aspect of my character, it's something that I consider more of a gift, even for all the negative things that come with it (like poor social skills, etc.); granted if I were ever given to live my life without it, I would deny such an oppertunity.

Also, I think having aspergers may have obscured my judgement when I first started to learn about typology, I confused myself with a thinker, which I think most people might assume concerning people with aspergers due to our outward social behaviors. But as far as I'm concerned, people of aspergers can be of any sort of type, some types just happen to be more common then others.

 

[AgentF]

savage brain: have you put any connections together w/r/t personalities types you get along well with?

 

[ajblaise]

Lots of cool Aspies out there.

 

[Max]

I have it to an extent. I've grown out of it a lot over the years though.

Like Savage Brain said, I tend to focus on what I can do rather than what I can't do so well. For example, I have perfect pitch, and great musical abilities along with it.

When it comes to dating, I find that it seems like a rather perfunctory process, and I don't see any reason to follow a certain protocol if you're really right for each other.

 

[Savage Idealist]

Originally posted by agentfurrina
savage brain: have you put any connections together w/r/t personalities types you get along well with?

To be honest, I haven't found any specific connection exactly; I suppose I'm not too found being aroung a lot of E's because I feel I can't measure up to that level of active socializing, and T's seem to come off as too cold and uncaring, but that isn't true for some people I know (who are E's and T's) as they are freindly with me regardless of type. So I don't think Aspergers plays too much of a role in how I appreciate my relation with others, but that my aspergers may come off as a negative effect to how certain people and how they judge me.

 

[AgentF]

Lots of cool Aspies out there.

what is with that look in their eyes. every aspie i've ever known has a very distinct look in their eyes!

 

[Rex]

Syd... Lost it completely.. Its because of people like him most drugs are illegal. Great musician tho..

Not speaking of aspies...

How is their impuls control btw?

 

[AgentF]

How is their impuls control btw?

my nephew has really poor impulse control. we never know how he's going to react to emotional situations: shut down entirely, fly into a violent rage, or start laughing. it's fascinating and also scary at times. he's generally docile as a lamb around his gf, though.

 

[ajblaise]

what is with that look in their eyes. every aspie i've ever known has a very distinct look in their eyes!

I know the look too, they all seem to have it. It's kinda like a mix of the "thousand yard stare" Vietnam vets would get, where it looks like they are looking right past and thru you, and an eye glaze. I can make my eyes do it, and kinda look aspie-ish. I have a couple of the symptoms of ppl with aspergers, but a lot more mild... but then again most INTs and ISTJs will.

Syd... Lost it completely.. Its because of people like him most drugs are illegal. Great musician tho..

Not speaking of aspies...

How is their impuls control btw?

Yeah his LSD use and all that didn't help. Well, it helped on The Piper at the Gates of Dawn... that's for sure.

 

[AgentF]

I know the look too, they all seem to have it. It's kinda like a mix of the "thousand yard stare" Vietnam vets would get, where it looks like they are looking right past and thru you, and an eye glaze.

yes. 0:56 and 2:06 are what i'm talkin' about: