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[ENFJ] ENFJs - What characteristics do you respect/disrespect in others?

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
ENFJ's - When you think of the people you have friendships/relationships with, what characteristics inspire respect for the other person and what characteristics inspire disrespect?
 
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,858
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
54
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
sp/so e23 enfj aunt doesn't take "no" for a response when she takes the time to construct a refrigerator made from $5 in 'n' out burger giftcards.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I respect bluntness, honesty and kindness. Not keeping your word, lying about unnecessary things, and not being upfront about things will make me lose respect for you pretty fast. However, I will admit I have done those things a few times in my life so as not to be a hypocrite.
 

Tricksie

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2011
Messages
9
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I respect authenticity, honesty, and caring. Integrity. Taking accountability for one's actions. I also love it when people have passion for something, regardless of what it is.
 

ExAstrisSpes

New member
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
337
MBTI Type
ENFJ
I respect integrity, kindness, and thoughtfulness. Being responsible for one's actions, and handling disappointment gracefully. I respect self-knowledge and being upfront with what you want/need. I highly respect the desire to continually improve one's self and actively taking steps to achieve one's goals.

I disrespect selfishness and self-centeredness, even if the person is aware of it.
 

JoSunshine

That's my name biotch!
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
659
MBTI Type
eNfj
Enneagram
2
Honesty - even if I won't like it.
Directness - Don't make me read between the lines.
Openness - attempt to understand the world and people around you
Kind / Giving spirit - don't deign to do for others, see the joy in thinking beyond yourself
Empathy - put yourself in someone elses shoes
Willingness to see your short comings - and work to improve them
Doing the right thing - even if it is hard
Ability to say "I'm sorry." - and mean it.
Be vulnerable - even if you might get hurt
Be happy for others successes - want the best for those you love

^if you do all that I will have intense respect and admiration for you. If not, I will probably accept you as you are, but will probably not be able to develop the kind of rich relationship with you that I have with a few selected individuals.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Agreed with all the ENFJs.

Don't lie to me.
Don't be mean to strangers.
 

Sparrow

New member
Joined
May 28, 2010
Messages
2,366
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I respect people who are/have:

-Empathy & compassion towards others
-Confidence
-Can admit they are wrong (Accountability)
-Thoughtful
-Forgiving
-Independent
-Humorous & witty
-Math skills (cause I sure don't have em, lol)


I have no respect for...

-Cocky assholes
-Mooches
-Con artists
-People who take their anger out on others
-People who are constantly negative
-People who don't keep their word
-Indirectness...I have a friend who will call me and say "I wish I could go but I dont have a ride" and then wait for me to offer to give her one! I HATE THAT!!! Just be straight up and ask me for a damn ride. Would you call that being indirect...or something else?? Maybe it could go under "con artist" lol.
 

Valiant

Courage is immortality
Joined
Jul 7, 2007
Messages
3,895
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Honesty - even if I won't like it.
Directness - Don't make me read between the lines.
Openness - attempt to understand the world and people around you
Kind / Giving spirit - don't deign to do for others, see the joy in thinking beyond yourself
Empathy - put yourself in someone elses shoes
Willingness to see your short comings - and work to improve them
Doing the right thing - even if it is hard
Ability to say "I'm sorry." - and mean it.
Be vulnerable - even if you might get hurt
Be happy for others successes - want the best for those you love

^if you do all that I will have intense respect and admiration for you. If not, I will probably accept you as you are, but will probably not be able to develop the kind of rich relationship with you that I have with a few selected individuals.



I second this. If those traits are present in a person, I will respect him or her.
Other stuff is actually fairly secondary, except for one thing that I can think of straight away - loyalty.
That one is at the top of my list.
 

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Basically, everything that has already been mentioned. The only thing I disagree with is 'selfishness'/'selfcenteredness'. I believe that it is acceptable to a degree, and even redeemable in a fair amount of scenarios.

I respect people who can respect themselves and others for good and bad qualities.
Especially the case with those who accept the 'bad'. My old group of friends took to nicknaming one another with previous unideal situations. The parts of the group that had come to terms with their situations would allow the nicknames and realize they weren't meant to harm. It was, in an indirect way, a test of each of our personal growth, coping skills, ability to accept, and ability to be honest with one another. Very straight forward and not meant for the faint of heart :tongue:

I also very much so respect people who can balance both a giving nature and a need to self-preserve. Balance is the greatest thing I respect, as well as personal happiness. If you can find balance and your own happiness, you can exude that much more outwardly. It's why I see a certain degree of selfishness and selfcenteredness as redeemable, although it shouldn't be too excessive. Again, balance.
-

As per lacking respect..
I agree heavily with not respecting very negative people. Pessimism can be a driving factor, but when one isn't taking the time to implement any optimism.. or isn't allowing the positive to actually feel positive.. then there is issue.
I also can't respect people who don't take enough time to introspect, but claim to have everything figured out already. I'm aware there are different value systems, but being able to read into people gives the upper hand in seeing when they are genuinely aware of themselves vs. when they are evading themselves via other means.
 

Arclight

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
3,177
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
To me, respect has it's moment of truth when conflict is present.. How someone handles themselves in conflict will always be my only deal breaker in any relationship. I am flexible on this point, up to a point. That is, until things begin to spin out of control.
If things spiral out of control.. I lose respect for myself as well.
This is bad.. Very bad.
 
Joined
Feb 5, 2011
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w3
I respect people who are honest, caring, open-minded, hard working, emotionally mature and want to grow and develop. I can't respect people who lie, control or try to control others and narrow-minded; and I definitely disrespect people who, when lack arguments to support their theories or beliefs use their fists...
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I need to add: anyone who knows they could push my boundaries as hard as they wanted but refrains from doing so. I like people who wait to see the challenge light off in my eyes before trying to grapple with me. I like women who watch and wait and size people up before acting. I like men who read me, change after flickering change, and drift through me like a car swinging through a hairpin turn.

I don't like being manhandled, but I liked to wrestle. In the broadest sense of the term.
I don't like delay and hesitation, but I like patience and contemplation.
I don't like to be roughed up and spoken to harshly, but I like directness and respectful criticism.

I also don't like name calling. Or being told to shut up.
 
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