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[MBTI General] Can you stand 8 years for a love

tommyrader

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
16
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I wanna open this Topic to ask all friends here.

When you love a girl

And you know, at this time, you can't bring her a good life, you can't give her a warm life, you can't insure a stable life for her.

Can you stand 8 years without showing that you love her, to make change of yourself, to make you stronger, better, to have a firm stuff to face the life issue, and to invite her to your life,

Can you do that?

................

To supplement my post:

The fact is, I know her much. I and she, at this time, are like brother and sister (we pledge so). I know about her last relationship. I talk to her much about many things in life. She respect me, and I, I know that I fell in love with her... too much

I want to say to her that I love her so much, as much as I can think of

But the biggest thing stop me from doing that is not her refusal. The biggest one is me. I know at this time, at the age of 22, I can't bring her the stable life, I have nothing right now. I even cannot control my life well to talk about controling our life.

That's why I can't reveal my love and have to prepare for our life.

Dear my friends

P/S: She is a INFJ girl :)
 
Last edited:

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
That sounds like a really bad idea, without knowing the specifics. What does she think? Are you even dating now? Does she know you exist?
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Being ENTJ doesn't mean you have to be the perfect everything. If you want her, go get her and see if she reciprocates your affection. If not, at least you can stop wasting your time on someone who doesn't feel the same way. No fear.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
As NF...I believe I could stand 800 years for a love.

But what about building a life together?
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
Is it possible people really think like OP? Or it is a joke ? Really. :/
 

Patches

Klingon Warrior Princess
Joined
Aug 4, 2010
Messages
5,505
Why can't you be with her while you build toward that?

My significant other and I have been dating for 6 years. He doesn't financially support me in any way, I don't live with him, etc..... We knew a long time ago we weren't going to get married until I complete school, and with me attending Graduate school, it may very well be another 3 years before we consider marriage at all.

Why not work toward a stable life while simply dating? And in 8 years when you feel more capable of supporting her, do so.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
I swear to god that Kiersey and his descriptions of types is more hazardous than helpful. Pfffftttt...Field Marshall.

*rolls eyes*
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It would have to be mutual with some type of connection throughout the eight years. A lot can change in eight years. It's always good to focus on making one's personal life stable and overall better. Without context for the OP it's impossible to answer because there are possibly a few scenarios where it would work, but more often it wouldn't.
 

tommyrader

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
16
MBTI Type
ENTJ
I'm not kidding Petra Pan.

The fact is, I know her much. I and she, at this time, are like brother and sister (we pledge so). I know about her last relationship. I talk to her much about many things in life. She respect me, and I, I know that I fell in love with her... too much

I want to say to her that I love her so much, as much as I can think of

But the biggest thing stop me from doing that is not her refusal. The biggest one is me. I know at this time, at the age of 22, I can't bring her the stable life, I have nothing right now. I even cannot control my life well to talk about controling our life.

That's why I can't reveal my love and have to prepare for our life.

Dear my friends
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
you aren't thinking of mooning over her for 8 freaking years without ever telling her of your feelings, are you? for god's sake, don't do that. tell her NOW, or move on.

You're way,way, way too focused on finding "omg THE ONE" and not enough focused on real life. Why do you have to have a "controlled" life to date her?? It's not a marriage contract, it's not having children together....it's spending time together to see if you actually like each other when you're not putting her on a pedestal from afar. It's not actually a big deal. Girls don't have checklists for casual dating that include a "stable, controlled life" at age 22, because most of them aren't any more ready to "settle down" than you are right now.

If you moon over her for 8 years, not only is it a waste of your life, but I'd bet you 20$ she's going to be creeped out/repulsed if she finds out you've been her "friend" for 8 years without having the balls to ask her out. especially for such a stupid reason.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Probable: You will nurture something that isn't real for 8 years and then be heart broken when it doesn't work out how you had hoped.

Another possibility: You are wanting to have the ideal without having to commit to it. Maybe you are sensing an immaturity in yourself that needs to grow and find this way to hold off on committing to something you shouldn't? That could be a good thing.

Please note that I am not calling you immature, I got married young and we had a heck of a mess because of an immaturity J wanting a "perfect" thing. Maybe you are finding a way to combat that by pushing off committing but keeping the ideal you want.

Why is this in the NF section? Your type says NTJ?
 

tommyrader

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
16
MBTI Type
ENTJ
@Elaur: That's because the girl is INFJ :)

@all Friends: I'm thinking about your advices ...
 

digesthisickness

✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
3,248
MBTI Type
ENTP
would you want her to keep her romantic feelings for you secret for eight years? would you want to find out eight years from now, after you've married someone else and had children with them, that she, all that time, loved you and wanted to be with you?

put yourself in the other person's shoes for a moment. what you're doing is unfair to both of you. don't make a life decision that involves her and her future without even respecting her enough to let her know she's a part of it.

if you truly love her and respect her, you'll tell her what you're thinking and feeling before you make decisions for the BOTH of you.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx

Unkindloving

Lungs & Lips Locked
Joined
Dec 10, 2009
Messages
2,963
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I could, but I damned well wouldn't want to. Pining after someone and watching their life take place with only a half-sided hope in my heart is utterly ridiculous to me.
Jump in. Take the dive. If you work your ass off for however long and then she chooses to refuse you, how will you feel? How worth it will it be? How much regret might you have for keeping quiet?
Also, eight years is enough time for her to start something with someone else. Get your answers now, because the potential for chasing after someone who doesn't want you- or missing out on something with someone who does is not a fun potential at all. I cherish the lack of 'What If?'s in my life. I cherish diving head first into love, even if it is fleeting.
Do It To It
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Sure I can, although that wouldn't stop me from dating other people during those 8 years, and likely fall in love with someone else and thus forget about my original "love".
Besides, nowadays women can usually provide for themselves (often, better than how a man would provide for them).
 

digesthisickness

✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
3,248
MBTI Type
ENTP
yeah, where did that number come from? tommyrader, YOU CAN NOT TELL THE FUTURE.

now, with that new knowledge, start living your life in the present.
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
Joined
Jan 15, 2009
Messages
6,180
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I say about 1 year sounds good to fix up your life.
 
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