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[ENFP] ENFP's & age

alcea rosea

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I was just wondering about us ENFP's about the correlation between age and behavior. What would be the most typical behavior of ENFP in different ages? Are there any behavior that would be common for ENFP's or part of behavior? Does their behavior look alike?

I've been thinking also the function theory where the first function develops at young age (Extroverted Intuition, Ne), the second when being 10-20 years (Introverted Feeling), the third one when being 20-30 years (Extraverted Thinking, Te) and the fourth from 30 until 40 (Introverted Sensation, Si).

Young ENFP's (under 10 years old)
So, let's say that young ENFP's are pretty much in Ne. They are connecting stuff, interpreting, developing intuition, interested in everything & everybody. So, they would be then enthusiastic and happy children. What else?

10-20 years old ENFP's
Are developing their Fi as teenagers and young adults. They learn to cope with their emotions. What else?

20-30 years old ENFP's
Are a bit aggressive and developing their Te. They are ldeveloping the thinking. What else?

30-40 years old ENFP's
Are developing their Si. But how does that show?

What about older ENFP's?

By the way, how old ENFP's do we have here in MBTIc?
I'm a bit over 30 years old. :)
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Interesting topic!

I'm 20 years old, so I can only recount up to now, but I'll do my best... :)

As a young kid, from what I've been told, I was very stubborn (if I want a green cup, why on earth are you giving me a red cup!?), curious, bright (I was reading well enough even before I started school - age 4/5), etc. Fairly fearless in the way little kids are...

Obviously I can't recount too much from memory... :p

As an older child / teenager, I became much more introverted (if you will) and spent a lot of my school days reading / drifting off with the fairies. I seemed to come off to other people as 'nice' and 'smart'. According to my mother, I was 'quiet but not shy'. I don't remember too many specific details of high school, or even the people that I didn't directly associate with. Around friends/family I was zany and random, but quite reserved around those I didn't know as well.


In the last couple of years (since age 17/18), I've grown out of a lot of my quietness (whether it just be confidence levels or what, I dunno). I'm more mature, responsible, charming (lol - by that I mean able to win people over), etc, etc, than I was before.

As far as still developing? Well, I am a terrible pushover, and way too likely to bend instead of stick up for myself, so I suppose that might come with Te supporting Ne and Fi?

I'm not sure if that means much, but it does seem to make sense that I was more extraverted as a little kid (with just Ne) than I was as a teenager (when Fi kicked in)... maybe now the Te is coming out so I'm much more externally focused than before? ^^
 

Hexis

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This is very interesting, and It makes me think of where I lie in temrs of age. Cause physically im 20 years old, but mentally I assume myself to be much older. I had to grow up very quickly due to my childhood/or the lack of one. My parents where divorced and seperated when I was only 6 after this point we went to live with my mother. Who unbeknowst to us at the time was a complete pot head and cared more about her self than us. Our father was a manic depressive drunk and so it fell to me and my sister to raise our selves.

A couple of my oldest friends(first friends in my life not age old) are actually 7+ years older than me. So when I was 13 yrs old I was exposed to things that only young adults normally deal with and began makeing decisions and oponions on things that I was not able to relate to with anyone of my age.

This leads me to believe that I am reaching the peak of my Te growth. For an ENFP I am very logical and have many J qaurks, for instance. I hate wasting my time, if Im not happy with what im doing at the present or if it is not helping me further a future goal. Then get very irritated and agravated, I possibly the most impatient person ive met. I am also the only ENFP at my age who I know of is looking to already settle down. I believe this to be due to my mind being forced to grow at a rate that is unatural to help me survive on my own. And now that im 20 yrs old and able to do many things for myself i am suprisingly ready to settle down, begin a career and start a family.

I am actually curious if there are anyother ENFPs who have similiar problems, maybe ENFPs all grow at a faster maturity and I just have an over reactive J. Or my mind really is 10 yrs older than my body and I will soon be outpaceing my friends once again. (something I high doubt wont and hope doesnt happen)

Any thoughts on this?
 

alcea rosea

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I am actually curious if there are anyother ENFPs who have similiar problems, maybe ENFPs all grow at a faster maturity and I just have an over reactive J. Or my mind really is 10 yrs older than my body and I will soon be outpaceing my friends once again. (something I high doubt wont and hope doesnt happen)

Any thoughts on this?

I was similar too even if my childhood was different from yours. I settled down in my twenties, got married, had my first child etc. Could it be independence thing meaning that we have a strong need to control our own lives from early on?
 

CestMoi

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I was similar too even if my childhood was different from yours. I settled down in my twenties, got married, had my first child etc. Could it be independence thing meaning that we have a strong need to control our own lives from early on?

Yes, I agree as I had a similar childhood experience to Hexis - not the same but just as dysfunctional. There is a tendency to want to grow up and manage our lives because others (parents) did such a lousy job of it. However, take your time, Hexis. You can settle down with yourself just as easily as another person but polishing the chips away can prepare you for a happy relationship and life.

I'm 41 - just shy of 42 and it's taken me awhile to figure that out. :blush:
 

istpunk

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Jan 13, 2008
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istp
From my own experiences doesn't seem like ENFPs change much as they get older, I'm guessing they suppress/express their true selves depending on the person they are interacting with. If they feel a certain personality type would be open to their true-selves they act upon it. It's similar when I hang around with boring ESTJ/ISTJ type of people.
 

eyebyte

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Feb 11, 2008
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INTj
My brother and his girl friend are both ENFP's

THey are the most childish pair I have ever seen. Honest - non-faking people they tend to be themselves everywhere they go. Don't know how to answer the original question as they are hard to read at times.

THey care not about money - but think of the future all the time. They care not about style - and it shows. They are generally good around people and especially kids.
 

Hexis

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Yes, I agree as I had a similar childhood experience to Hexis - not the same but just as dysfunctional. There is a tendency to want to grow up and manage our lives because others (parents) did such a lousy job of it. However, take your time, Hexis. You can settle down with yourself just as easily as another person but polishing the chips away can prepare you for a happy relationship and life.

I'm 41 - just shy of 42 and it's taken me awhile to figure that out. :blush:

Oh ive recently came to the conclusion that their are many kinks in my life I need to work out before ever truly setteling down. So ive decided to focus on the achievment of my career before the commitment of a married relation.
If wondering im going to be cop...lol yeah an ENFP going for a position of authority.
 

CestMoi

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Hey, Hexis! You might end up a good cop though the authority thing above you might be problematic...
 

niffer

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Hay thar! I'm in the 10-20 years range. I'm very T for an ENFP, and these days I think I've been learning to cope with my ideas and opinions and ambition to take action more than with my feelings. I've more or less figured out how to control my feelings, I think, so that part's already over. The controlling of feelings kind of went hand in hand with the learning to control desires for me. In short, I think I could've been less bratty as a little kid. But that's fairly common, isn't it?
 

pyramid

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I remember when the Fi was kicking in my dad thought I disliked him because all I ever wanted to do was have my face buried in a book. I would read several books in one day. :nerd:

I'd say my reaction to this model in my life is a tendency overall to engage in the next function too early and cling to the previous function for a bit too long (finally let go after I feel the newest one I'm working on is half way there/stable) -- so very short bursts where I was completely immersed in only the development of time-appropriate function but mostly a desperate juggle of the present AND future.

I'm trying to work on my neglected Te right now :pumpyouup: (I really feel my dominant and auxiliary functions harmonizing) as a means to achieve what I want ready so I can slide right into my impending inclination for Si. Always fantasizing about what I want to do when all of these are in place.

I always feel really ahead & just a bit behind of the overall game. :happy:


Oh, and I'm 23
 

alcea rosea

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Oh no, I started this thread back at 2008 :laugh:
Oh, memories, sweet memories. :D
 

fireandwater

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I'm turning 40 this year. At this point in my life NeFi are so closely intertwined and working in tandem that they just seem like one happy whole and my innate nature. But here's basically how I'd describe myself during the time periods mentioned:

0-10: I was in love with words and books from long before I can remember, having learned to read at 3. In addition to being a "bookworm" I was seen as a good student, was pretty easy going, got along with everybody, self confident, positive attitude, enjoyed nature and the country. My family was very happy at this point and encouraging of me -- especially encouraging me to develop my mind and be a good student.

10-20: Became pretty dreamy, more emotional, lotsa castles in the air. Known to my friends as the "airheaded brain" Still loved books, especially sci-fi/fantasy. My ISTJ dad at this time tried really hard to "fix" me, by which I mean make me into a TJ instead of an FP.

20-30: Developed kind of a tough exterior to protect all that idealism from the cold, cruel world. Became a newspaper reporter and then went to lawschool. Strong development of Te here, the ability to argue, debate, etc., which had been encouraged by my dad in the teen years. At this point in my life I did my level best to hide my Fi from the world and in fact had a lot of problems because I tried to override Fi with Te and so made bad decisions, esp. in the first half of my 20s, when I had two bad relationships in a row (also my parents divorced at this time). By the end of my 20s I had really come to terms with my True Self and what I wanted out of life.

30-40: Settled down and had a family (instead of becoming a lawyer). At the beginning of this period I took the Keirsey test and learned about type. At that time I tested INFP, emphasis on the NF there in temperament theory. Halfway through this period I found myself in a really great place, happiest I've ever been, and surrounded by a really solid group of friends devoted to the same cause and lifestyle as myself. I ran across type theory again and tested ENFP. Took tons of tests on line since then and virtually always come up ENFP. Recently moved back to the family farm where I hope to make a living as a farmer and writer. Typologically it seems to me that what I've done most in this time period is reassert my essential nature, or locate and attempt to be as true to myself as possible. Maybe there's Si to be seen there as predicted in the model? I don't know. All I see is the harmonious blending of NF.
 

nomadic

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Jul 15, 2008
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im 32

i think my thinking hasn't changed that much from when I was 18. But I think I was a pretty mature 18 year old...

One thing that I do hear is that I have a much more stable persona now, and that I am not as " wild" anymore. Whatever that means.... lol
 

Little Linguist

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Jun 23, 2008
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This is very interesting, and It makes me think of where I lie in temrs of age. Cause physically im 20 years old, but mentally I assume myself to be much older. I had to grow up very quickly due to my childhood/or the lack of one. My parents where divorced and seperated when I was only 6 after this point we went to live with my mother. Who unbeknowst to us at the time was a complete pot head and cared more about her self than us. Our father was a manic depressive drunk and so it fell to me and my sister to raise our selves.

A couple of my oldest friends(first friends in my life not age old) are actually 7+ years older than me. So when I was 13 yrs old I was exposed to things that only young adults normally deal with and began makeing decisions and oponions on things that I was not able to relate to with anyone of my age.

This leads me to believe that I am reaching the peak of my Te growth. For an ENFP I am very logical and have many J qaurks, for instance. I hate wasting my time, if Im not happy with what im doing at the present or if it is not helping me further a future goal. Then get very irritated and agravated, I possibly the most impatient person ive met. I am also the only ENFP at my age who I know of is looking to already settle down. I believe this to be due to my mind being forced to grow at a rate that is unatural to help me survive on my own. And now that im 20 yrs old and able to do many things for myself i am suprisingly ready to settle down, begin a career and start a family.

I am actually curious if there are anyother ENFPs who have similiar problems, maybe ENFPs all grow at a faster maturity and I just have an over reactive J. Or my mind really is 10 yrs older than my body and I will soon be outpaceing my friends once again. (something I high doubt wont and hope doesnt happen)

Any thoughts on this?

This is really interesting, and I can relate to it a great deal. I'm a bit older than you are - I will be turning 30 in a couple of months - and I have found that this gap normalizes, although you always seem to be a bit different than others around you.

As a child, this chasm was nearly insurmountable, and as I got older, the chasm kept narrowing until now it is little more than a gap whereby if I take a big step, I can cross it. When I reach middle age, perhaps there will no longer be a gap - more like a little crack - I really do not know.

In addition, I'd like to say that although I have a very mature side to my personality, there is a craziness that is growing and growing and growing. :) It's like I'm living my childhood now.
 

alexx

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I see a common trend here of ENFP's having to "Grow up fast" or having a "difficult childhood". I wonder what that is about? There is like 4-5 of you up there either stating that or relating to that.....

Plus - isn't that pretty much the norm anyway? It wouldn't really be signifigant if it is....

All I ever hear is about how bad someone had it as a kid - you rarely hear anyone say "I had an AWESOME childhood!"
 

pyramid

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In addition, I'd like to say that although I have a very mature side to my personality, there is a craziness that is growing and growing and growing. :) It's like I'm living my childhood now.

hehe, yes I feel like now that I am not forced to be the most mature adult right away because I am finally comfortable with myself and where I'm going. I get to have my worry-free, do-as-I-please innocence I always wondered about. I had neurotic and depressed parents that gave me very good values and cared for me well.. but left me kinda :confused: and I had to figure it out on my own
 

Lady_X

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sx/sp
I see a common trend here of ENFP's having to "Grow up fast" or having a "difficult childhood". I wonder what that is about? There is like 4-5 of you up there either stating that or relating to that.....

Plus - isn't that pretty much the norm anyway? It wouldn't really be signifigant if it is....

All I ever hear is about how bad someone had it as a kid - you rarely hear anyone say "I had an AWESOME childhood!"

i had an awesome childhood! i grew up way too fast tho.
 
G

garbage

Guest
Huh. I actually grew into not taking things seriously, being way too talkative, and having as much fun as possible. I could probably have written the 0-30 (well.. 0-25..) portion of fireandwater's post, but interchanging the 10-20 and 20-30 blocks. Probably also the stuff that pyramid said.

My ENTP dad told me that I was "weird" as a child and that my personality has completely changed since then. :popc1:

Though I still relate to relating to an older crowd. For me, a major part of that has been a drive to take on more responsibility than is normal for my age. I've always hung out with an older crowd and I've tended to date older, too, but that's relaxed as of late.

In a lot of ways, I still feel like I'm waiting for the rest of the world--and for my experience level--to catch up with my overall mindset.
 
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