I've thought quite a bit lately about whether to say aloud feelings that are very obvious at this point to someone I'm close to. The situations in which these feelings became obvious speak more clearly than if I tried to say the words. Certain responses in certain situations don't lie, especially if the two of you are open, trusting, and allow feelings to show. I thnk that I'm also averse to saying aloud the obvious perhaps because words drain the experience of its power and grace. I sometimes feel I'm a natural mime. :--) I relate to what you say about not being able to express emotions on demand. It's a little frustrating for the other person but I will always go away and think about an interaction before I can come back and talk about it. I have to have time to process.
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[INFJ] INFJs and emotions?
- Thread starter jazzylas
- Start date
I've thought quite a bit lately about whether to say aloud feelings that are very obvious at this point to someone I'm close to. The situations in which these feelings became obvious speak more clearly than if I tried to say the words. Certain responses in certain situations don't lie, especially if the two of you are open, trusting, and allow feelings to show. I thnk that I'm also averse to saying aloud the obvious perhaps because words drain the experience of its power and grace. I sometimes feel I'm a natural mime. :--) I relate to what you say about not being able to express emotions on demand. It's a little frustrating for the other person but I will always go away and think about an interaction before I can come back and talk about it. I have to have time to process.
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Virulence
New member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2010
- Messages
- 33
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
I have a hard time thoroughly expressing what I feel with most people I know. General things like, "I'm pretty stressed right now" or "I'm in a really great mood" when asked, but going deeper than that, into the 'why' of things is only reserved for people I'm really comfortable with... And, even then, it can be very, very difficult to find the right words.
I automatically go through a process with people I meet where I feel them out and immediately begin to figure out where to draw boundaries, what they would and wouldn't be comfortable talking about or knowing about me, and it's very easy for me to be perceived as aloof until I decide I want to be more open with someone. It usually takes a lot of time and slowly working through layers before I can really open up to someone. I have no trouble at all offering a kind word, a smile, and maybe some objective advice to someone that's going through difficult times, but I'm also very highly tuned to empathy - opening myself up to really listen and understand someone else's emotions can be very taxing, so I'm careful and selective about doing it.
I've had experiences where I've met someone or spoken to someone for a very short time, been immediately drawn to them, and gotten an inexplicable feeling of... "THIS is a person that I'm really going to be able to connect with." I've felt that way towards all of my closest friends when we first met.
In terms of emotions in general, they're always present no matter what I'm doing - and in most every case, aside from menial chores and things that can be accomplished without any thought - if I don't "feel" what I'm doing my ability will be greatly diminished. When I CAN feel what I'm doing, it's incredible. Things just fall into place, I can cruise through things and -know- without a doubt that I'm doing a great job and that I can handle anything that gets thrown at me. It's probably my favorite feeling in the world.
Clearly conveying things like this is hard. Augh.
I automatically go through a process with people I meet where I feel them out and immediately begin to figure out where to draw boundaries, what they would and wouldn't be comfortable talking about or knowing about me, and it's very easy for me to be perceived as aloof until I decide I want to be more open with someone. It usually takes a lot of time and slowly working through layers before I can really open up to someone. I have no trouble at all offering a kind word, a smile, and maybe some objective advice to someone that's going through difficult times, but I'm also very highly tuned to empathy - opening myself up to really listen and understand someone else's emotions can be very taxing, so I'm careful and selective about doing it.
I've had experiences where I've met someone or spoken to someone for a very short time, been immediately drawn to them, and gotten an inexplicable feeling of... "THIS is a person that I'm really going to be able to connect with." I've felt that way towards all of my closest friends when we first met.
In terms of emotions in general, they're always present no matter what I'm doing - and in most every case, aside from menial chores and things that can be accomplished without any thought - if I don't "feel" what I'm doing my ability will be greatly diminished. When I CAN feel what I'm doing, it's incredible. Things just fall into place, I can cruise through things and -know- without a doubt that I'm doing a great job and that I can handle anything that gets thrown at me. It's probably my favorite feeling in the world.
Clearly conveying things like this is hard. Augh.
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