[NF] Which NF type is most likely to get butthurt?

[CrystalViolet]

Butt hurt sort of implies a violation of an agressive nature. I get over stuff too quickly for it to be called that.
INFJ can mull over stuff for years. Small stuff...ENFJ's too.
You ever had a phone call where some one is talking about a conversation you had with them three years ago, and then they tell you they were really hurt by what you said? Only you can't remember the conversation (but you kinda laugh, because it sounds like some thing you'd say...which sort doesn't help), and you are a little WTF? Why do you guys do that? Why not say some thing closer to the time, instead of ambushing?
This what I call butt hurt, 'cos getting it out at the time is more healthy.

 

[Moiety]

That is true^

I don't think I get butthurt that often, but I'm sure I don't hold resentments ever.

 

[A window to the soul]

Speaking from extensive personal experience with the following 3-types:

INFP - warm & fuzzy on the outside, warm & fuzzy on the inside.
Least likely to get hurt or grudge about little things. Quick to forgive; doesn't care who's to blame. (Can't stay mad longer than a few hours; worst case, a couple of days. Most likely out of all of the types listed above, to eat humble pie and initiate working towards conflict resolution at any cost.)

Will forgive. Will forget.

INFJ - a little cold on the outside, warm & fuzzy on the inside.
Seems to get hurt easily, but you don't know for sure because they hold stuff in and let it snowball. Will try to write you off, but eventually fail at it and works towards conflict resolution by their own initiative. Needs lots of time to cool off before approached with an apology (can mean waiting weeks or months).

Will forgive. Will eventually forget.

ENFJ - warm & fuzzy on the outside, a little cold on the inside.
What I would call a 'drama queen' in conflict - seems to get hurt easily, talks about it with everyone, and won't think twice about writing you off. Can be talked down off that ledge with patience and an unlimited supply of empathy.

Will forgive. Will never forget.

...again, my opinion based on experience and does not apply to everyone of these types.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Butt hurt sort of implies a violation of an agressive nature. I get over stuff too quickly for it to be called that.
INFJ can mull over stuff for years. Small stuff...ENFJ's too.
You ever had a phone call where some one is talking about a conversation you had with them three years ago, and then they tell you they were really hurt by what you said? Only you can't remember the conversation (but you kinda laugh, because it sounds like some thing you'd say...which sort doesn't help), and you are a little WTF? Why do you guys do that? Why not say some thing closer to the time, instead of ambushing?
This what I call butt hurt, 'cos getting it out at the time is more healthy.

Maybe it's an ENFJ thing more though.
Yeah, I'm all class, I quoted myself.

 

[Arclight]

I promised myself the next time I felt butthurt to pay attention to my reaction (As luck would have it.it happened today). I got kind of quiet and pouty. I could also hear a harsh edge in my tone.
I was reasonable and talked it through with the person. It got solved and I won't look back.

But I also wont forget.. But not in a I am "keeping score kind of way". More like I found something new to be sensitive to and be aware of.
My tendency is to feel every hurt I ever felt by whatever caused the hurt so that each time a similar situation arises I will feel the compounded effect which can make it seem like I am overreacting.
I am not really. Whatever hurt me is just going up against history.

 

[skylights]

My tendency is to feel every hurt I ever felt by whatever caused the hurt so that each time a similar situation arises I will feel the compounded effect which can make it seem like I am overreacting.
I am not really. Whatever hurt me is just going up against history.

i'm like this too. i forgive but it's not realistically possible to forget, to a certain extent. i can't just zap painful things out of my mind entirely (or at least, it would be really unhealthy to) - and to a certain extent it just freaks me out to picture the same thing happening again and again. it feels like the other person really doesn't care.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

I'd say there are different kinds of butthurt.

INFPs always strike me as more of the "BAW" butthurt.
ENFJs strike me as "GRR" butthurt
ENFPs and INFJs get this weird "BAW/GRR" mixture.

I know, my technical terms are so eloquent

OK, maybe it's just me, but I don't understand this. What do you mean by BAW and GRR.

 

[Eckhart]

OK, maybe it's just me, but I don't understand this. What do you mean by BAW and GRR.

It is not just you, but I didn't risk to ask Was wondering if those are noises you make (even then I don't know) or an abbreviation for something.

 

[Unkindloving]

OK, maybe it's just me, but I don't understand this. What do you mean by BAW and GRR.

It is not just you, but I didn't risk to ask Was wondering if those are noises you make (even then I don't know) or an abbreviation for something.

What figures is the boyfriend loling over it .

Basically, "BAW" would be more a more saddened butthurt, while "GRR" is a more frustrated butthurt. This isn't to say that types don't have moments of the opposite, but I see it as being very circumstantial. It's rare that myself or the ENFJs I know will find many situations to be openly "BAW" toward.. etc. Then there's how I see INFP frustration to be a product of sadness, whereas ENFJ sadness is a product of frustration. Could be wrong, but it's what I've observed.
As for the INFJs and ENFPs, they can be like a see-saw of sad and frustrated butthurt. It can get very back and forth and be consistent only in its inconsistency. Buuuuut, I've not witnessed a ton of said types. INFP and ENFJ are more of my jam spectator sports

 

[Eckhart]

I see, thank you for the explanation

Well, I am sometimes GRR sometimes BAW I would say. Mostly BAW actually, but sometimes (especially with my parents) I am more GRR, then I react angry and aggressive.

 

[Unkindloving]

I see, thank you for the explanation

Well, I am sometimes GRR sometimes BAW I would say. Mostly BAW actually, but sometimes (especially with my parents) I am more GRR, then I react angry and aggressive.

I've noticed this too. I think most people are more GRR toward their parents, but seeing it from INFPs just warms my heart for some reason. It's one of the few times where I witness the boyfriend being very biting and I get very "" over it.

 

[Arclight]

i'm like this too. i forgive but it's not realistically possible to forget, to a certain extent. i can't just zap painful things out of my mind entirely (or at least, it would be really unhealthy to) - and to a certain extent it just freaks me out to picture the same thing happening again and again. it feels like the other person really doesn't care.

Although this is partially what I mean.. I was more referencing that if persons A,B,C and D hurt me in some way, then when person E does it, I am not only reacting to them, but to every other time it has happened. Like if it's a lie.. It's like I feel the frustration of every single lie that has ever been told to me.
However, in the case of a single person it has the exact same effect.

 

[MacGuffin]

INFP (my choice) is the clear winner.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm honestly surprised that INFJ got so many votes. While their sense of morality can be offended, and they'll doorslam you if you do something terrible, they aren't especially reactive in the way I'd label "butthurt."

Butthurt mainly seems to be the domain of NFPs, and ENFPs usually are able to laugh things off because of the distance of Ne-dom, or they'll get pissed before they actually get butthurt. I see more INFP whining than any other type on the forum, and I know as an ENFP I can be reactive.

 

[MacGuffin]

I'm honestly surprised that INFJ got so many votes. While their sense of morality can be offended, and they'll doorslam you if you do something terrible, they aren't especially reactive in the way I'd label "butthurt."

Butthurt mainly seems to be the domain of NFPs, and ENFPs usually are able to laugh things off because of the distance of Ne-dom, or they'll get pissed before they actually get butthurt. I see more INFP whining than any other type on the forum, and I know as an ENFP I can be reactive.

ENFPs have to shrug off being butthurt a bit if they still want to engage people (and as extraverts, they do).

 

[Eckhart]

But what does it mean to laugh things off? I can show outside no reaction at all, even tell to myself that it doesn't really bother me, but the fact that I even think about it shows to me that it bothers me in some way still I think.

I remember some situation where some girl which I wasn't actually close to in any way (although she was usually friendly to me and was even after that) giving some indirect, but very harsh insult on me in middle of class. You could notice a certain "Wow"-atmosphere in the air. I didn't show any reaction to this outside, and I didn't feel really much in that moment actually, but I know I had the words in my mind still which I played down with thoughts like "She doesn't really know me so why should I even care what she thinks?". I remember this situation still nearly 2 years later as if it happened yesterday, so I guess I was somewhat "butthurt" about it, even though I played it down back then and it didn't bother me back then for longer than some hour or two.

 

[Jaguar]

I'm honestly surprised that INFJ got so many votes. While their sense of morality can be offended, and they'll doorslam you if you do something terrible, they aren't especially reactive in the way I'd label "butthurt."

There's that term again: doorslam. Someone said a Dom Fi took issue with being accused of doorslamming. Meanwhile, there's an INFP doorslam thread in this forum.

 

[Thalassa]

But what does it mean to laugh things off? I can show outside no reaction at all, even tell to myself that it doesn't really bother me, but the fact that I even think about it shows to me that it bothers me in some way still I think.

I remember some situation where some girl which I wasn't actually close to in any way (although she was usually friendly to me and was even after that) giving some indirect, but very harsh insult on me in middle of class. You could notice a certain "Wow"-atmosphere in the air. I didn't show any reaction to this outside, and I didn't feel really much in that moment actually, but I know I had the words in my mind still which I played down with thoughts like "She doesn't really know me so why should I even care what she thinks?". I remember this situation still nearly 2 years later as if it happened yesterday, so I guess I was somewhat "butthurt" about it, even though I played it down back then and it didn't bother me back then for longer than some hour or two.

Laughing it off means you truly think it's absurd and not important. I think that ENFPs can definitely get butthurt, I know I do, but it mainly registers when it feels like a personal attack or it concerns someone's opinion they really value. I'm more likely to fight back, which is what I think Unkindloving meant when she was making her distinctions between Grr and Baww.

 

[skylights]

Although this is partially what I mean.. I was more referencing that if persons A,B,C and D hurt me in some way, then when person E does it, I am not only reacting to them, but to every other time it has happened. Like if it's a lie.. It's like I feel the frustration of every single lie that has ever been told to me.
However, in the case of a single person it has the exact same effect.

ahhh. my bad.

that must be a difficult load to deal with for you. kind of rough on E too.

ENFPs have to shrug off being butthurt a bit if they still want to engage people (and as extraverts, they do).

it's true.

 

[The Outsider]

Probably INFP, but I voted for INFJ, because I felt like it.