Sorry, i have to go the other way and say yes. I feel highly driven to please others and i HATE feeling like i've disappointed someone. I'll work extra hours, try and spare people's feelings and generally put others ahead of me to make sure that they are getting what they need.
When people are struggling/upset/don't get their way, they seem to get upset and create a conflict or at least some friction. This jeopardizes the peace, and I feel at odds with myself and the world. I have been working at maintaining my parents' marriage since I was a young child. I would get back-up gifts in case my father forgot their anniversary, listen to their problems with each other and give advice (if solicited), mediate their arguments, or I would use humor to cut the tension between them and redirect the conversation if it was heading towards a fight. I feel like the world needs to be placated.
Guilt plays a huge role in people pleasing for me. But like i said, my upbringing and parental issues play hugely into my desire to please, rather than my "type". Guilt was wielded like a sword in my household growing up, it was also an abusive and dangerous place to be in, so you learn that if you please people you''re less likely to incur someone's wrath.
Got it. That really helps me understand. I grew up in a similar household. However, I think rather than being a "people pleaser" I became a perfectionist. Although some would argue that perfectionism is a form of people pleasing.
It makes me wonder if people pleasing is a way of maintaining control.
I think the reason many INFP's are split on this comes down to the Enneagram flavor of the INFP, primarily e9 and e4. INFP e4's have a sharper and more independent edge to them, in contrast to the "pillowy" energy of their e9 brethren. Hopefully this next paragraph won't be too convoluted:
In Psychological Types, Jung talks about how some Fi-doms, as a defence mechanism to keep the subjective values above the object, sort of tamp down the highs/lows of feeling elicited by the object, resulting in a numbing effect. I wish I had the quote, he explains it more clearly, but the book is not handy at the moment. Anyway, this is reminiscent of how e9's try to soothe and blunt the impact of the outside world to maintain their inner peace and sense of harmony. However, e4 Fi-doms would be more likely to internally intensify their feelings and values so they outweigh the object's importance. Both INFP's are trying to maintain the subject's dominance, but they are just approaching it differently. One is reducing the external (e9) and one is increasing the internal (e4). Either way, it is in the name of Fi.
I think e9 INFP's are usually the doormats we hear about.
I agree that e9's are more likely to want to please more consistently than some other INFPs, but I think values also play a role (as Craft was stating). INFPs take their values very seriously, and sometimes internalize values that other types shrug off as unrealistic or too burdensome. So, for those INFPs (those raised in religious environments, for example) the values of "putting the needs of others first" and "avoiding selfishness" can play a big role in motivations. This aspect is, I think, separate from enneagram type.
Also, I agree that since Fi's internal emotional barometer can be disturbed by surrounding upset, there is some natural baseline "helpfulness" which is just minimizing the amount of external drama (regardless of e-type). This baseline level of helpfulness is only engaged when the cost of helping is relatively low and not conflicting with other principles.