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[ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off

meanlittlechimp

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Apr 29, 2007
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338
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ENTP
What are the charateristics of an ENFJ in public? They are the ones passing out cupcakes or cookies, they just baked the night before, for everyone in the office.

How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read? Most don't need personals, they have lots of options. The ones that do, will have perfect grammar, be earnest, and mention something about their social activism.

Where do ENFJs like to hang out? At the surprise party their throwing for one of their friends or colleagues.

How might one break the ice with an ENFJ?
Smile at them, they'll come over and find out all about you.

Whatever you do, don't act rude even in jest. They'll give you the benefit of the doubt later if you establish a relationship of some sort, but don't even think of risking it before then. Imagine what a rainbow would do in a given situation, and do it.

Once they figure out eventually, that you really are an asshole - it will be too late. They'll forgive anything then and delude themselves into thinking you're still a rainbow. This will happen usually after their first orgasm - sometimes earlier, if you compliment them frequently about something they take in pride in. It can't just be half ass compliments either - you have to put some thought into it. ESFJs you can just throw them around willy nilly. ENFJs might catch on, that your just trying to get ass.
 
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theshadow

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enfj
How might one break the ice with an ENFJ? Smile at them, they'll come over and find out all about you.
this is so true. :party2:

in fact.. I noticed the non smile your avatar was wearing... and decided to make this short. Well mostly I didnt like the tone of your post. lets teach them all how to take advantage of us..
 

The Third Rider

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Yeah because using someone is going to get you to places....... Remember ENFjs are vengeful........
 

meanlittlechimp

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Yeah because using someone is going to get you to places....... Remember ENFjs are vengeful........

The original poster was looking for love and not a one night stand (or so he claims).

Vengeful? Maybe, but usually the worse you're gonna get is a stern talking too.. You guys don't scare me :devil:
 

redacted

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i find that ENFJs have the most behavioral variability out of all types. they're the hardest for me to spot.
 

meanlittlechimp

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Well mostly I didnt like the tone of your post. lets teach them all how to take advantage of us..

Of course you didn't like the tone of my post :D

If the post was addressed to an ENFJ, I would have used a lot more smileys and affirmations. :hug: Since I was trying to help an INTP, I used a more cynical brand of communication.

I guess you could see it as a means to take advantage of ENFJs but you could also look at it as way to get more INTPs to hit on ya in the first place. Even if you don't reciprocate the attraction, you'll be flattered they came on to you at all. Which ultimately is what you guys want isn't it (flattery and affirmation)?

Well, besides helping disadvantaged youth, stray puppies and correcting bad behavior in others - like littering in public places.
 

theshadow

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i find that ENFJs have the most behavioral variability out of all types. they're the hardest for me to spot.

I think this may be because on some level we "for the other person" want to conform to there expectatins. now shit dont get me wrong I am all me :headphne: . but I do as much as I can, atleast I really want to be there for the other person. :hug:. for me this had meant becoming very adaptable. with most of my relationships with girls for example, it is better for me to maintain other "girlfriends" to serve as my emotionality outlet. and reserve the more attractive behaviour for them... Of course I expect the same from them.;)
 

LostInNerSpace

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I've been watching the YouTube videos of various types. There's an awesome one of an enfp. There are a couple of male enfj's but only one female.
 

hotmale

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Oct 12, 2007
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ESTJ
What are the charateristics of an ENFJ in public?

They are warm, friendly, sociable. They immediately sense what all people in the room are thinking and good at intuiting and guessing others' actions. They make good politicians and good hostesses.

How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read? Something related to how they overcame obstacles in their lives. They are very good at making you feel as if you are just like them.

Where do ENFJs like to hang out? Usually the center of attention, I've found. They love giving speeches, telling wild jokes, getting reprimanded by the school principal. They are rebels at heart, and usually charm themselves out of trouble.


How might one break the ice with an ENFJ?
They usually break the ice with you.

Whatever you do, don't act rude even in jest. They'll give you the benefit of the doubt later if you establish a relationship of some sort, but don't even think of risking it before then. Imagine what a rainbow would do in a given situation, and do it.

Rudeness is dependent on perception. Most FPs think everyone else is rude when quite often, they are overlooking certain social decorum such as correcting people in public- which is seen as rude by TJs. FPs think long sentences are a sign of decorum, when TJs think brevity is the source of wit and tend to scan long, repetitive dronings that go nowhere.

Overall, ENFJs are great people. They're also fun but can be sort of uptight people who remember every slight. However, they're more open to accepting differing opinions and people who are vastly different from them than ENFPs who can be very close-minded about others and always has to be right/ need people to agree with them.
 

CzeCze

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I would have thought that kind of thing to be more SP-ish... People like that freak me out so much that I want to hide in the corner in a fetal position and cry. :shock:

I'm coming late on this convo but --

:rofl:

I thought my roommate was an ENFJ but now with all this extra info, I'm thinking she's more ESFJ? Hmmm...now I must go back to the typing drawing board.
 

LostInNerSpace

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Look for symbolic use of language. If she uses a lot of metaphors in her langauge then she is an N. Life is like a puzzle, some people are so "boxed in". Or creative use of words.
 
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Tigerlily

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I'm sometimes an ENFJ. When I get in my extroverted moods I'm great but afterwards I am completely drained and fell as though I've been attacked and desperately need to be on my own.

I can also be vengeful but not where it's noticeable. If someone really upsets me I'll sit back and wait for the perfect opportunity to pounce. Sometimes I don't have to say or do anything as they'll do it to themselves. :devil: Either way I'm very patient so if it takes years then so be it.

I also like to make everyone around me feel comfortable. I do treat people as my equal and belittling is not my thing unless you've pissed me off.
 

LostInNerSpace

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I can also be vengeful but not where it's noticeable. If someone really upsets me I'll sit back and wait for the perfect opportunity to pounce. Sometimes I don't have to say or do anything as they'll do it to themselves. :devil: Either way I'm very patient so if it takes years then so be it.

Wow, me too! If I write someone off a no good, they better run. I spent three years working on one group of nasty individuals. They are now scared of me. I know all about how to make people feel fear, the process is actually quite simple. But it's rare, and only as a last resort. 99% of the time I'm an extremely nice person. Not quite a nice as an ENFX, but Ghandi relative to most INTPs. It's only when people try to exploit my good nature and don't stop after repeated warnings that they get a taste of that side of me.
 

Butterfly

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Mar 5, 2008
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I've been watching the YouTube videos of various types. There's an awesome one of an enfp. There are a couple of male enfj's but only one female.

Could you plz paste links of these various types (esp ENFP :p ) thanks dear. :D
 

pure_mercury

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I enjoyed reading this thread. Stuff in it made me laugh out loud because it sounds like my husband to a T. And he is one of those Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJs. I'll see if I can help with the list of characteristics:

  • The unspoken leader of everything. Lubricates the socializing until everyone is at ease & participating.
  • Always telling stories with incredible (at time obnoxious) detail.
  • In social situations is always checking in with people who aren't participating to make sure they're having a good time.
  • Very flirtatious, even with people they aren't actually attracted to, not in a mean or manipulative way -- it's just how they interract.
  • Loves the sexual double-entendre.
  • Doesn't participate in pissing contests. He's above that & very confident of his place in the world.
  • If the anger button, or even the serious irritation button, gets pushed -- watch the hell out. It's a tirade that leaves the people around him cowering, & when it's over, he looks around & can't figure out why people are upset (because, ya know, he's over it).

That sounds A LOT like me.
 

meanlittlechimp

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[*]Very flirtatious, even with people they aren't actually attracted to, not in a mean or manipulative way -- it's just how they interract.

Interesting... All the ESFJs I know are huge flirts (6 out of 6), ENFJ's less so (2 out of 4). But I never really thought of flirting being standard EXFJ behavior.

But now that I think about it, I think ESFJs tend to be even bigger flirts than ESFPs. Does anyone else know ESFPs or ESFJs well enough to report your observations to the rest of us? or chime in if you are one.
 

pure_mercury

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Interesting... All the ESFJs I know are huge flirts (6 out of 6), ENFJ's less so (2 out of 4). But I never really thought of flirting being standard EXFJ behavior.

But now that I think about it, I think ESFJs tend to be even bigger flirts than ESFPs. Does anyone else know ESFPs or ESFJs well enough to report your observations to the rest of us? or chime in if you are one.

I am now questioning my type (outside of E, naturally), but I am a gigantic and shameless flirt.
 
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