• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off

missellis75

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2008
Messages
21
MBTI Type
ENFJ
wedekitCharisma - The ENFJs I know are normally "Ok, so we need to get this project done. You guys are AWESOME! LET'S DO IT!"

Creativity - For example, when it comes to making pretty signs for advertisements

Religious - I know this will definitely not be characteristic of all ENFJs, but the ones I know are very enthusiastic about their religion.

not only religion, as you said, but usually they are very interested in expanding their spiritual iq... they are always open to philosophical discorse, and general spouts of articulate conversation...

Also, you can tell when they get really excited about something because they open their eyes wider and use their arms to talk...

I have heard that ENFjs find it hard to match their wardrobes, so they usually have a coordinating outfit with one absurdly random article.

Socionics.com says:
ENFjs often have slim arms, legs and torso. They look rather slow and relaxed, especially among friends. However, there are ENFjs that are very nimble but they tend to suffer from a lack of co-ordination, giving the impression that they do it deliberately. ENFjs often have big, straight, sharp noses. Their eyes usually have a melancholy look about them and at the same time have that obsessed shine that shows a great emotional charge... Physical description of an ENFj

oh and they are generally very very focused on one goal or idea, generally far off and practical.

I think I might be an ENFj.
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
:doh:
are you being serious here?

Half serious. Almost always only half serious, but almost always present myself as completely serious. I am obsessed with making money, not just making money, but success is also a goal. In the same way you as an ENFJ have very stong instincts about people, we INTPs have very strong instincts about thought.

You have an Ne / Fi nexus going on. Meaning you take in the world through your extraverted iNtution (Ne), and evaluate with your introverted Feeling (Fi).

We have an Ne / Ti nexus going on. We take in the world through our intuition, and evaluate with introverted thinking Ti.

I come up with a theory that my extraveted intuition Ne tells me there must be some truth to. I then poke and prod (sometimes through presenting controversial statements as though I were completely serious), and analyse in real-time the logic of those statement by evaluating your reaction to my poking and proding.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Yes, I've dated INTPs.

Money in and of itself isn't a turn-on, but a motivated man who understands the reality of money and wants to make the most of that is absolutely something to admire. Let's face it - money is a necessary, not an option - unless you live in a trader island society. :dry: Give ya beads for that stone wheel.... all right, I'll throw in my sister too...

I have a world-domination streak myself which is mitigated by my strong Fe (and by my ENFP twin grabbing onto the back of my pants.) :D She says I'm almost as bad as our ENTJ best friend sometimes. (Libel! Patently untrue! ;) )
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I really like ENFJs. How would I recognize them?

- [Often low-key] openness/friendliness.
- Willingness to engage in interpersonals
- Sensitivity to others without fear of engagement -- they trust themselves to navigate those sort of conversations
- See people where they're at, see who they could be, are good "mentors" in encouraging people to be themselves
- Coupled with that, they have a vision for people and/or the group -- not necessarily the concretes, but the "essence" of it
- Concerned about long-term maturity, even if they fret sometimes over the current-moment yuckies
- Generally productive in groups... are interested in motivating the group, making it better, helping the members to contribute more, and usually all in a positive way, not a controlling/negative way.
- Have a strong "spiritual" sense of the world, regardless of specific religion. They can state very strong belief ("God is real" or "God wants this for you" or "here's what should be done") even while admitting full well they cannot prove it, yet they just "know" it to be true.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
*gets down on one knee* Marry me, Totally Twinkly. :D
 

LostInNerSpace

New member
Joined
Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
*laughs* I've corrected you and I don't even know what about. :D

I incorrectly stated your "nexus" was Ne / Fi, when in-fact you have Ni (Intoverted Intuition) and Fe (Extraverted Feeling). I think this means you wear your feelings on your sleeves, and privately evaluate what you are feeling with your intuition.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I incorrectly stated your "nexus" was Ne / Fi, when in-fact you have Ni (Intoverted Intuition) and Fe (Extraverted Feeling). I think this means you wear your feelings on your sleeves, and privately evaluate what you are feeling with your intuition.

Something like that, yes. :)

My ENFP sister and I had a discussion one night (well, we do this constantly, but I cite one night in particular). It was about the functions and their order.

She's Ne>Fi>Te>Si. This is something like "Horrible person angers me. Intuition tells me I'm instinctively correct to be angry. Feelings verify that anger is proper. Thinking compares rational data notes with Feeling in conference. They agree. Si reaches for the big stick to hit said offender over the head."

With me, it's Fe>Ni>Se>Ti. This is something like "Horrible person angers me. Intuition says 'Oh, no he dint!' and Fe says "Oh, yes he did, girl!' and Ni says 'Someone's getting the smack down!' so it gets a hand grenade from Se who's been dickering around with Ti who was making the weapon in its spare time down in the lab. Fe lobs hand grenade."

lol :D
 

Atomic Fiend

New member
Joined
Nov 16, 2007
Messages
7,275
I could tell quite easily, because the one I knew would say what I was thinking (which should be a crime). I've never seen such an odd mix of obnoxiousnesses and consideration before, But I didn't feel like I had to lose him immediately like I do for most others.

Almost had a cashier cuss us out. Jerk. :dry:
 

theshadow

New member
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
123
MBTI Type
enfj
so it gets a hand grenade from Se who's been dickering around with Ti who was making the weapon in its spare time down in the lab. Fe lobs hand grenade."
:D

that seems pretty accurate to me. cant tell you exactly why but.. yah. when I am angry I tend to "attempt" to be somewhat objective about it so I can do more damage.:devil:
 

sciski

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
467
MBTI Type
NSFW
Enneagram
6w7
What is the actual form of the hand grenade though? Do you just walk up to the person and call them out on it on the spot, then yell at them? How ugly does it get? Do you get objective and cold in the confrontation or is it all heat and fire? What happens if the other person concedes? Do you go back to being friends?

This is from someone who runs away when confrontations get too heated, so I'm interested! I can understand the ENFP-with-a-stick analogy because a stick is quick and relatively precise and I've done that in the past - just called someone out on something, but it's short, sharp, and over in an instant.
 

theshadow

New member
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
123
MBTI Type
enfj
What is the actual form of the hand grenade though? Do you just walk up to the person and call them out on it on the spot, then yell at them? How ugly does it get? Do you get objective and cold in the confrontation or is it all heat and fire? What happens if the other person concedes? Do you go back to being friends?

This is from someone who runs away when confrontations get too heated, so I'm interested! I can understand the ENFP-with-a-stick analogy because a stick is quick and relatively precise and I've done that in the past - just called someone out on something, but it's short, sharp, and over in an instant.

throws hand grenade at sciski. :devil: :ranting:
tick :wtf:
tick:bye:
tick :banned:

:cry: "I cant belive I just did that.... oh well its to late" tmost often though I go after there beliefs, because these are almost always rooted in emotions,, which I am quite skilled at controlling
Do you just walk up to the person and call them out on it on the spot
depends. but I certainly have no problem doing that
 
Last edited:

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
grenades are reserved for red alerts... i never lob one of those unless it's ON...

i wanna keep my friends... :(
 

sciski

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
467
MBTI Type
NSFW
Enneagram
6w7
Hi PinkPirahna, I'm not assuming that you'd lob it at your friends... only your enemies (or horrible people). But I am interested in what form it takes. Ice or fire... cause my ENFJ friend is icy and controlled in appearance, but her tone is just so incredibly roaring with passion that it's frankly amazing to see her angry (at her boyfriend - I think if she was angry at me I would just dig a hole and hide forever). But please don't answer if it would make you feel bad to do so. :/

theshadow, cute explanation. :p
 

theshadow

New member
Joined
Sep 15, 2007
Messages
123
MBTI Type
enfj
Hi PinkPirahna, I'm not assuming that you'd lob it at your friends... only your enemies (or horrible people). But I am interested in what form it takes. Ice or fire... cause my ENFJ friend is icy and controlled in appearance, but her tone is just so incredibly roaring with passion that it's frankly amazing to see her angry (at her boyfriend - I think if she was angry at me I would just dig a hole and hide forever). But please don't answer if it would make you feel bad to do so. :/

theshadow, cute explanation. :p

I cant say I have ever had a boyfriend but my ex gf might say something like this "icy and controlled in appearance, but her tone is just so incredibly roaring with passion that it's frankly amazing to see her angry" actually sounds about right... except I very rarely let myself openly express anger. this also helps explain how I end up being so charismatic. Imagine a person that externally was completly held together, but also spoke so passionately about what they thought. at almost all times :headphne:
 

sinnamon

New member
Joined
Feb 24, 2008
Messages
47
MBTI Type
INTP
I enjoyed reading this thread. Stuff in it made me laugh out loud because it sounds like my husband to a T. And he is one of those Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJs. I'll see if I can help with the list of characteristics:

  • The unspoken leader of everything. Lubricates the socializing until everyone is at ease & participating.
  • Always telling stories with incredible (at time obnoxious) detail.
  • In social situations is always checking in with people who aren't participating to make sure they're having a good time.
  • Very flirtatious, even with people they aren't actually attracted to, not in a mean or manipulative way -- it's just how they interract.
  • Loves the sexual double-entendre.
  • Doesn't participate in pissing contests. He's above that & very confident of his place in the world.
  • If the anger button, or even the serious irritation button, gets pushed -- watch the hell out. It's a tirade that leaves the people around him cowering, & when it's over, he looks around & can't figure out why people are upset (because, ya know, he's over it).
 

Tigerlily

unscannable
Joined
Jun 21, 2007
Messages
5,942
MBTI Type
TIGR
Enneagram
3w4
I enjoyed reading this thread. Stuff in it made me laugh out loud because it sounds like my husband to a T. And he is one of those Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJs. I'll see if I can help with the list of characteristics:
  • The unspoken leader of everything. Lubricates the socializing until everyone is at ease & participating.
  • Always telling stories with incredible (at time obnoxious) detail.
  • In social situations is always checking in with people who aren't participating to make sure they're having a good time.
  • Very flirtatious, even with people they aren't actually attracted to, not in a mean or manipulative way -- it's just how they interract.
  • Loves the sexual double-entendre.
  • Doesn't participate in pissing contests. He's above that & very confident of his place in the world.
  • If the anger button, or even the serious irritation button, gets pushed -- watch the hell out. It's a tirade that leaves the people around him cowering, & when it's over, he looks around & can't figure out why people are upset (because, ya know, he's over it).
haha, nice analysis! Nothing at all like me tho. :nono:
 

The Third Rider

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2007
Messages
763
MBTI Type
ENFj
I enjoyed reading this thread. Stuff in it made me laugh out loud because it sounds like my husband to a T. And he is one of those Jesus Christ Superstar ENFJs. I'll see if I can help with the list of characteristics:

  • The unspoken leader of everything. Lubricates the socializing until everyone is at ease & participating.
  • Always telling stories with incredible (at time obnoxious) detail.
  • In social situations is always checking in with people who aren't participating to make sure they're having a good time.
  • Very flirtatious, even with people they aren't actually attracted to, not in a mean or manipulative way -- it's just how they interract.
  • Loves the sexual double-entendre.
  • Doesn't participate in pissing contests. He's above that & very confident of his place in the world.
  • If the anger button, or even the serious irritation button, gets pushed -- watch the hell out. It's a tirade that leaves the people around him cowering, & when it's over, he looks around & can't figure out why people are upset (because, ya know, he's over it).

lol, those were funny but I can't say that, that is a perfect description of me, I think I control myself a little better.
 
Top