• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFJ] How to spot an ENFJ a mile off

geedoenfj

The more you know..
Joined
Oct 6, 2015
Messages
3,347
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
But how is that different from ESFJ...? Seems hard to tell between them?

I imagine dominant Fe as quite, well, dominant.

I was playing on stereotypes, I don't like giving hugs it feels awkward, but I am good at supporting others, bringing harmony, and also I am not necessarily spreading love, I might be inspiring or something like that..
It's hard to tell which type is which unless you get to know them, talk to them maybe
 

Korvinagor

Cyber Strider
Joined
Jan 5, 2017
Messages
762
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I was playing on stereotypes, I don't like giving hugs it feels awkward, but I am good at supporting others, bringing harmony, and also I am not necessarily spreading love, I might be inspiring or something like that..
It's hard to tell which type is which unless you get to know them, talk to them maybe

Certainly! Getting to know the person before their type is the ideal in the first place.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
4,539
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
794
But how is that different from ESFJ...? Seems hard to tell between them?

I imagine dominant Fe as quite, well, dominant.

The only time I personally feel as though dominant Fe is present is when the person attempts to create this forcefield around me and anything in it must act and say this or that. Otherwise, it goes unnoticed by me and is smooth as butter. I think that's the key though, is that dom Fe to me, is smooth and fluid. If someone appears they are clumsily adhering to some values and etiquette they should be promoting, I tend to find it's a lower stacking Fe.
 

Lord Lavender

Bluered Trickster
Joined
Oct 21, 2016
Messages
5,851
MBTI Type
EVLF
Enneagram
739
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
The only time I personally feel as though dominant Fe is present is when the person attempts to create this forcefield around me and anything in it must act and say this or that. Otherwise, it goes unnoticed by me and is smooth as butter. I think that's the key though, is that dom Fe to me, is smooth and fluid. If someone appears they are clumsily adhering to some values and etiquette they should be promoting, I tend to find it's a lower stacking Fe.

Thats an interesting point ya make :) and I remember you saying something along those lines in the past that me being lower Fe was clumsy in trying to promote moral values on the environment and that it wasn't fluid at all like a Fe dom. It makes sense lol as say hmmm if you have wielded a tool for many years youd be good at it but if you only use it playfully say to cut bread then you will be clumsily in trying to use it seriously. Hey I get funny images of a dom Fe being the Fi values serial killer and me trying to attack Fi values with a butter knife:D.

Sorry that image was so hilarious lol. BTW can other extroverted functions trample on introverted like hmmm. Say for dom Nes like us two we can use it very fluidity so its not as obvious. I find my Ne is not random and fun and is very serious actually as I find stereotypical OMG RAINBOW NE to be that of a lower Ne user as again they use it like a child in many ways.
 

Dreamer

Potential is My Addiction
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
4,539
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
794
Thats an interesting point ya make :) and I remember you saying something along those lines in the past that me being lower Fe was clumsy in trying to promote moral values on the environment and that it wasn't fluid at all like a Fe dom. It makes sense lol as say hmmm if you have wielded a tool for many years youd be good at it but if you only use it playfully say to cut bread then you will be clumsily in trying to use it seriously. Hey I get funny images of a dom Fe being the Fi values serial killer and me trying to attack Fi values with a butter knife:D.

Sorry that image was so hilarious lol. BTW can other extroverted functions trample on introverted like hmmm. Say for dom Nes like us two we can use it very fluidity so its not as obvious. I find my Ne is not random and fun and is very serious actually as I find stereotypical OMG RAINBOW NE to be that of a lower Ne user as again they use it like a child in many ways.

Nah, your Fe annoyance is like running up to someone and smearing cheesecake in their face. It doesn't penetrate but wow is it annoying and takes time to remove.

Hahaha just messin with ya. :D
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,708
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
738
I'm an INTP looking for love. Not simulated love protocol control packets beamed through subspace to a humanoid women, real woman, read love.

It seems a good many INTPs endup with ENFJs. So I would just like to know how to spot an ENFJ. What are the charateristics of an ENFJ in public? How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read? Where do ENFJs like to hang out? How might one break the ice with an ENFJ?

My interest is in ENFJ women, but I'm sure there are female INTPs knocking around who would not mind hearing it about ENFJ men.

Look for the flock of love striken intps following them around.
 

bundleofsunshine

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
But how is that different from ESFJ...? Seems hard to tell between them?

I imagine dominant Fe as quite, well, dominant.

Based on the last person that I tried to type who turned out to be an ENFJ. I'd say that they seem like different E types probably depending on the situation they're in but an ESFJ's Si is so obvious and they don't have to pretend to be something they're not cause ESFJs are accepted in this world. An ENFJ's Se can make them appear like ESxPs at times and they could be wild. I have yet to find a wild ESFJ or SFJ for that matter. They're the typical mom types.
 

Korvinagor

Cyber Strider
Joined
Jan 5, 2017
Messages
762
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Based on the last person that I tried to type who turned out to be an ENFJ. I'd say that they seem like different E types probably depending on the situation they're in but an ESFJ's Si is so obvious and they don't have to pretend to be something they're not cause ESFJs are accepted in this world. An ENFJ's Se can make them appear like ESxPs at times and they could be wild. I have yet to find a wild ESFJ or SFJ for that matter. They're the typical mom types.

What makes you say that they're the typical mother types? ESFJs have Ne as their tertiary after all. That sort of playful ENxP look is bound to crop up frequently, isn't it?
 

bundleofsunshine

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What makes you say that they're the typical mother types? ESFJs have Ne as their tertiary after all. That sort of playful ENxP look is bound to crop up frequently, isn't it?

Fe+Si and a lot of people say they are motherly. NFJs are more like mentors.
 

SearchingforPeace

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 9, 2015
Messages
5,711
MBTI Type
ENFJ
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
ESFJs are more grounded than ENFJs. All SFs are much more down to earth than NFs. And SFs are much more common than NFs. If you believe someone is a Fe dom, they will most likely be a ESFJ.

Most Fe dom stereotypes are ESFJ stereotypes more than EXFJ. NFJs are pretty rare in general, but less than 3% of men are NFJs and less than 5% of women.

While both will likely be noticeable, big personality types, ESFJs are more supportive and nurturing while ENFJs are leading and guiding, in general.

ESFJs and ENFJs are both highly in tune with the emotional environment, but ENFJs tend to be more conscious of it.
 

Korvinagor

Cyber Strider
Joined
Jan 5, 2017
Messages
762
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Fe+Si and a lot of people say they are motherly. NFJs are more like mentors.

Really now? Well, each person is different, I suppose. Just don't expect the SFJs on here to follow that stereotype. Or real life SFJs for that matter.
 

bundleofsunshine

New member
Joined
Jan 5, 2014
Messages
81
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Just don't expect the SFJs on here to follow that stereotype. Or real life SFJs for that matter.

they're already being unstereotypical by showing an interest in MBTI, so i'm not going to see them in that light.
 

kotoshinohaisha

Permabanned
Joined
Jul 9, 2016
Messages
1,083
MBTI Type
STFU
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
so
I think i met an enfj, geez i feel bad about it because Nothing is forever

Sent from my E5823 using Tapatalk
 

Gabe_2

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
20
I would have thought that kind of thing to be more SP-ish... People like that freak me out so much that I want to hide in the corner in a fetal position and cry. :shock:

E_SPs are probably much 'smoother' with that stuff, less awkward...they know how far they can go and often seek a specific reaction. Tertiary and inferior Se is often awkward. I suspect that INFJs are often even more awkward about it...for instance saying stuff that sounds sexual without even being aware of it.
 

GRKG

New member
Joined
Jul 9, 2017
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
I have 3 close ENFJ friends (two well-developed, one not so much.) A quick way I've learned to spot an ENFJ in a social setting is by their laugh: it's always naturally louder and more hearty than anyone else's. ENFJs are distinct laughers, from my experience. It'll sound genuinely warm, but about 2 grades louder than the standard chuckle, and they only release it when they actually find something funny, as opposed to their put-on Fe pity laugh, which they do to make others feel comfortable.

Also, they are the most stubborn of types I've come across. A quick way to know you're dealing with an ENFJ is when they get into a debate they're passionate about and will. not. let. it. die. Especially two ENFJs that have opposing views on a subject they both champion...WATCH OUT :horror:

Seriously, I've never seen any of my 3 ENFJ friends ever even give an inch when they think they're 1000% right about something. That side of them annoys me, but their kind and forgiving nature more than makes up for it. Gotta love an ENFJ! :hug:
 

ahc24

New member
Joined
May 13, 2016
Messages
2
This is an interesting thread.....

Some noted patterns in ENFJs I know IRL:

- Uncanny ability to discuss personal topics without revealing a lot of personal info about themselves.

- Exude warmth, friendliness, charm. Compliment people a lot. Like to point out positives. Take a genuine interest in other people and their lives.

- Most of the male ENFJs have this nonchalant, faux-caddish attitude. It's like they pretend to be arrogant, but with a wink so that it's almost self-deprecating instead. I'm not sure how to explain it....it's terribly charming though :D

- State opinions very confidently at times without caring if it contradicts the majority, sometimes taking delight in ruffling feathers. Other times adapt their views to those around them in a diplomatic way. Can seem to "back track" because of it. Seem to seek a "consensus" at those times.

- Future-focused. Love to discuss "what-ifs" and think of ways to better things, especially people and quality of life.

I know an ENFJ-ESFJ couple, and we had a conversation once that illustrated a difference between the two types. The ENFJ mentioned these plans for a park the city once had, which were abandoned due to costs; he was very excited about this. He got that NF far off look in the eye when discussing it and how nice it would be; but then his ESFJ wife got very irritated and kept reminding him that plan was abandoned because it was impractical. The ENFJ then got annoyed at her for dismissing this great idea, and kept insisting that if they only wrote the city, then maybe they could come up with a way to make it happen after all. It was clear this was an issue they were not going to see eye to eye on...one was practical-minded and focused on what is possible now, and the other had his mind in the future and refused to give up on a good possibility, just feeling it needed to be tweaked a little. I admit, I was on his side :D

- Like abstract, imaginative things; lean toward the arts and spiritual interests... typical NF stuff.

- Seek out, create, maintain, and organize social connections above almost anything else. They make friends, or friendly connections, rather easily. They don't see themselves as social butterflies though, because they have high standards for friends - so anything less than "deep" is not seen as anything extraordinary. From my perspective though, it is interesting how easily they get a response from people and how well they adapt to the other person to do so.

- Most of the ones I know are not ambitious in the way the "typical" J is. The dreamer/idealistic/perfectionist aspect of being an NF can get in the way, or their ambitions are so much in the interpersonal realm that practical goals get put on the back burner.

- Like to be inspirational, influential, etc. Will do things to "nudge people in the right direction" as one of my ENFJ friends put it.

- Brood when alone a lot. Too much reflection can make them negative and really depressed.

- Seem to have a conflict of wanting to lead, fit in, be important and also to stay unique.

- Fit this so well it's almost comical:



I notice the person or issue closest to the ENFJ's heart can be put to the bottom of the pile until it can be given their undivided attention. Most of the time, this makes sense, but occasionally it can be confusing.

What are the characteristics of an ENFJ in public?
Moving from person to person, focusing intently on each for a period, then their head moves to the next person and off they go. The shy ones will be more reticent, but I always sense an anxiousness to not stay in one place too long, mentally, even if not physically. The eyes always look far off, they're not fully engaged in the present even though they seem wrapped up in it from first glance.

How would an ENFJ personals ad typically read?
Well, on social networking sites, they often have little personal info, but a lot of interests and opinions listed. In a contradiction of that they'll sometimes have a blog entry that is very personal in nature, or they'll post rather emotionally dramatic statements for their statuses (but often vague again). Many of the ones I know like to write, so blogs are a big thing for them.

Where do ENFJs like to hang out?
I've met most through church, but they also seem to like things in the realm of poetry/literature, music, travel, etc. Like I said above, the arts, culture, spirituality. Most of the guys I know like to follow soccer/football, but don't actually play it.

How might one break the ice with an ENFJ?
IDK....they always talk to me first. I get the impression they want to initiate and aren't as receptive to people approaching them, but I actually have more experience with male ENFJs. It feels like they have some time table or order of things, and they'll get to you when they're ready....Once there's a relationship established they seem to appreciate initiative though.

I know this is an old thread but wow you nailed it, I felt slightly attacked but mostly understood! ;)
 

EcK

The Memes Justify the End
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
7,708
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
738
easy, they're at the end of the rainbow, next to the pot of gold
 
Top