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[ENFP] ATTENTION!

Devil Flamingo

Kultainen Kuningas
Joined
Sep 2, 2010
Messages
148
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
...ENFPs, do you ever feel like you're an attention magnet? o_O Not an attention whore, but an attention magnet (but the two aren't mutually exclusive ;D), as in, you just seem to, for whatever reason, attract attention, or something, idk.

Seriously though, I work at a fucking Mcdonald's wearing some stupid uniform and not even that can mask my fabulous, or whatever. I get paid attention to whether I want it or not. I have NEVER lacked attention, and yes, it feels FUCKING AWESOME. You don't have to lift a finger to get people to pay attention to you. I could be wearing fucking rags and still get attention, because, idk, people can tell I win at life and they like that? LOL.

And, apparently, it has been like this ever since I was born, lol. Oh, how I wish I was kidding, or that I was just being full of myself, XD. My mom has told me tons of stories of how people stopped her in the street when I was a baby just to comment on my dazzling chubby baby looks. One time some voodoo priest told her that I was destined for great things, and that I'd accomplish anything I set my mind to in life. In the daycare, in kindergartern, in elementary, in high school, and even in university, I have never NOT been popular; professors just know my name, lol. Everyone is special, yes... but some people are more special than others... and then there's ENFP-special.

...No, but seriously y'all, do any other ENFP get this? It's like... it's not that you draw attention, but rather that attention is drawn to you, loool. It's especially fucking annoying when you're trying to be incospicuous or when you want to stay irrelevant, but you just can't.

Hell, I'm not even one of those gay guys that walks around wearing rainbow hair and cool makeup and all that stuff. It's like... you don't get shinier than a faery, bitch. :D If I dyed my hair and put on makeup, I would look like a one-man carnival, and I like to think I'm fairly average-looking, so it can't possibly be that I'm so good-looking people can't help but notice me. And surely, surely it is not my award-winning personality: I'm a self-absorbed shallow ENFP-SOB. :newwink:

Anyways, I hope this is an ENFP thing, otherwise I will have to assume that it has to do with me being part faery (specifically, part Veela ;D), because there's no other explanation for it: my looks are average, my personality, although fabulous, is far from beautiful, and I don't wear anything that makes me conspicuous, like tattoos or colourful clothes (I mostly wear black, like my soul plz :D), and I don't have a crazy hairdo either, etc. I ain't even being modest about this, lol, just realistic (i.e. if I looked like Nathan Fillion, aka fucking hot as hell, then that'd make more sense). :shrug:

azdief.gif



P.S. I ask if it's an ENFP thing because I have two ENFP gfs who also get this, like, literally, they're always getting attention from people, esp. from the opposite sex, lol, and have even been stalked and everything.

P.S. This is also why I would make a terrible thief? :yes: Other people steal stuff and don't get caught; I try to steal anything and I'm caught instantly, sob. "Hey, is that a faery trying to steal the Mona Lisa?" "Why, it is! Sound the alarm!" fml.
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
MBTI Type
ENFP
yes. Yes. YES! I've had more stalkers than I have had boyfriends.

Oh God, yes.

Fellow Earth Dragon Leo, you are not alone. You certainly do not lack grandeur and I can relate to that; I'm not going to be winning any personality awards, either. :hug:

I honestly think the "attention whore" aspect (in the neither negative nor positive sense) is so "hardwired" into some people (of any type) that we call attention to ourselves in small ways we don't notice that other people notice either consciously or subconsciously.

And yeah, your mom is totally responsible for it. Seriously. :smile: I have the same type of mother who always told me I was pretty. I never believed her but when I was a baby and little kid every body thought I was the cutest thing since a puppy and a kitten tried to fit into the same slipper. Teachers always liked me even though I rarely applied myself and when I did they loved me and saddled me with the responsibility I was trying to avoid.

When I was a little kid, I would sit in the back and make myself invisible because it seemed like someone was always picking me to give a group presentation, to be the voice of the group, to be the teachers' assistant etc., and I just didn't like people paying attention to me and placing responsibility on me. I still don't (which is an issue that needs to be "fixed"). People always notice me: my wardrobe consists of jeans and t-shirts, I'm kind of plain, but people stare. (I am planning to consistently dress all sexy to see how my aim is.)

And now, employees and teachers seem to like me and speak highly of me and I can't figure out why. I didn't do anything any better than anyone else. I think this is a perception problem. We perceive the attention being given to us as somehow special when it's probably no different than the attention given to others. But it does seem like there's some kind of magnetic pull going on, lol. :blush:

Lots of interesting external and internal perception going on here, tho.

Careful not to scorch your own wings. :D
 

Firelie

Magical
Joined
Apr 18, 2008
Messages
836
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5
Of course you're an attention magnet...you named the thread ATTENTION!
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
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6w7
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so/sx
haha. hm.

first of all, that gif is terrifying, lol.

as for attention... well, i don't think i experience anything quite as extraordinary as you two ENFPs above, and i do realize that as much as i sometimes would like to blend in, i usually end up sabotaging myself. even on days when i look crappy in class, usually i have something to say that feels way more important than how i look, and i go ahead and say it. hence attention. i also do tend to dress a little funky and wear light but colorful makeup - usually nothing super unusual, but a little more artsy than average, so i usually attribute a certain amount of attention to that.

but yeah, i guess i've never really felt overlooked. i'm usually trying harder to blend in than stand out. i do also experience something that i don't really understand... it's not so much random people off the street paying attention to me so much as it people who start to interact with me for whatever reason spontaneously opening up to me. i don't mean to sound like i don't like that they like opening up around me - i do, and i respect what they say and keep it in confidence - i'm just always kind of surprised by it. i've been trying to figure it out since i realized it a while ago, but i'm still not really sure what it is that i do that makes people (i assume) feel safe around me. i do think that part of what is involved is how very self-conscious i am. i keep a high awareness of what i imagine others might be thinking of me and adjust my behavior accordingly. i'm always second-guessing myself and while on one hand that's kind of annoying to my sanity, it also means that i'm making minute adjustments all the time to adapt to other people and how they feel. i imagine that can make others feel like i'm on the same page as they are (which i do try to be), hence a feeling of understanding/security. and i am genuinely interested in them, hence warmth.

I just didn't like people paying attention to me and placing responsibility on me.

yeahh :doh:

on one hand, i like responsibility because it makes me feel trusted and respected and powerful. on the other hand, it sucks, because then i get in trouble if i don't follow through. i do love, love, love giving presentations though. i get to be on stage and babble about things i'm interested in for 20 minutes in front of an audience and for whatever reason they really like it?

win :shrug:
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
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ENFP
haha. hm.

first of all, that gif is terrifying, lol.

as for attention... well, i don't think i experience anything quite as extraordinary as you two ENFPs above, and i do realize that as much as i sometimes would like to blend in, i usually end up sabotaging myself. even on days when i look crappy in class, usually i have something to say that feels way more important than how i look, and i go ahead and say it. hence attention. i also do tend to dress a little funky and wear light but colorful makeup - usually nothing super unusual, but a little more artsy than average, so i usually attribute a certain amount of attention to that.

but yeah, come to think of it, i guess i've never really felt overlooked. i'm usually trying harder to blend in than stand out. i do also experience something that i don't really understand... it's not so much random people off the street paying attention to me so much as it people who start to interact with me for whatever reason spontaneously opening up to me. i don't mean to sound like i don't like that they like opening up around me - i do, and i respect what they say and keep it in confidence - i'm just always kind of surprised by it. i've been trying to figure it out since i realized it a while ago, but i'm still not really sure what it is that i do that makes people (i assume) feel safe around me. i do think that part of what is involved is how very self-conscious i am. i keep a high awareness of what i imagine others might be thinking of me and adjust my behavior accordingly. i'm always second-guessing myself and while on one hand that's kind of annoying to my sanity, it also means that i'm making minute adjustments all the time to adapt to other people and how they feel. i imagine that can make others feel like i'm on the same page as they are (which i do try to be), hence a feeling of understanding/security. and i am genuinely interested in them, hence warmth.



yeahh :doh:

on one hand, i like responsibility because it makes me feel trusted and respected and powerful. on the other hand, it sucks. i do love, love, love giving presentations though. i get to be on stage and babble about things i'm interested in for 20 minutes in front of an audience and for whatever reason they really like it?

win :shrug:

I like the presentation if it's something I'm interested in. Once I gave presentation in a Humanities class about the Iliad when compared to the idea of "personae" (subpoint: good and evil are subjective) in pro wrestling (yes, it exists). And it was a last minute thing. :devil:

I'm always adjusting myself to make others comfortable (to please them). I eventually came to the same conclusion you did. I have the ability to be whatever people want me to be and it makes them like me. I may not know that I'm doing it but being conscious of how I'm perceived by them is always in my mind so I adjust accordingly. I even try and predict their inner monologue :lol:. [/basically repeating what you just said]

We are ever so slightly unusual in the way we compile an outfit or carry ourselves and that attracts attention. I always get asked if I'm from here by dumbfounded folks. Not sure why.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
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so/sx
I like the presentation if it's something I'm interested in. Once I gave presentation in a Humanities class about the Iliad when compared to the idea of "personae" (subpoint: good and evil are subjective) in pro wrestling (yes, it exists). And it was a last minute thing. :devil:

hahaha nice!! we are masters of the last minute, aren't we... ;) the highlight of my presenting career thus far has been throwing a group presentation together in under 5 hours (due to a last-minute catastrophe) for a conference of 100+ people. afterwards the head of the conference sought me out personally to compliment me on it, too. *high-fives self in blatant show-offery*

I have the ability to be whatever people want me to be and it makes them like me. I may not know that I'm doing it but being conscious of how I'm perceived by them is always in my mind so I adjust accordingly. I even try and predict their inner monologue :lol:. [/basically repeating what you just said]

but phrased much more clearly and succinctly :yes:

that's funny about inner monologue. i don't really think about that but i do like predicting how they'll react to what i do, lol

We are ever so slightly unusual in the way we compile an outfit or carry ourselves and that attracts attention. I always get asked if I'm from here by dumbfounded folks. Not sure why.

me too!! i always thought that was just me. it's nice to hear that it's not!
 

Vamp

New member
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Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
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hahaha nice!! we are masters of the last minute, aren't we... ;) the highlight of my presenting career thus far has been throwing a group presentation together in under 5 hours (due to a last-minute catastrophe) for a conference of 100+ people. afterwards the head of the conference sought me out personally to compliment me on it, too. *high-fives self in blatant show-offery*

Wow, that's really impressive. Some people excel in crisis mode. :hifive:

me too!! i always thought that was just me. it's nice to hear that it's not!

I've come to the conclusion that they really mean "are you from this planet?". ;)
 

INTP

Active member
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Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
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intp
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5w4
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sx
as for attention... well, i don't think i experience anything quite as extraordinary as you two ENFPs above

or then you are one of those enfps who simply doesent notice all the attention you get from stalkers.

my calculations show that there are 10 stalkers per enfp on average, never under 5, but sometimes number of stalkers can go easily over 30
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
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ISFJ
Not unless I'm talking. But no, I certainly don't think I attract any more attention than other people around me.
 

sculpting

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Jan 28, 2009
Messages
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In public with strangers, I actually dont make eye contact often and I wear a very firm te mask that keeps people from approaching me. I give signals of dont touch.

However whenever I read emails from my boyfriend or I drink a lot, then suddenly men start watching me. I cant keep the Te mask up any longer. They say things like "How can you be so cute?"

It freaks me out so I leave. However in the day to day, I sometimes feel like an Fi water sprinkler because I walk from building to building and sort of sprinkle Fi at people. Like little touches to let them know somebody cares about them. ..... Like maintenance touches? I dunno. Once I know people just a bit, I am comfortable around them and I make them laugh and smile as they seem so bummed out. Like an Fi water sprinkler to give their Fi just a bit of a boost, so they remeber things dont suck as bad as they thought they did. I did once have a bengledeshi stalker who wrote me post cards and poetry and wanted to fall in love in the rain with me, he knew my schedule and followed me from class to class, but I dont think he was a real stalker, just a really sweet newly immigrated ENFP guy who didnt quite understand american social norms.
 

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
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ENFP
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7w6
I've noticed a pattern about people with myself and it goes like this
I'm usually more talkative than most people I (ever) meet
+
Being quiet with stranger is something I don't like
= when in a group situation I talk a lot -> I'm noticed well

I'm usually in good mood
+
I laugh a lot
= many people like to be in my company (but I wounld't say I'm popular or something like that).

So, I'm noticed because I talk a lot in group situations and I'm usually in good mood so people like to be in my company (in general). So, that means that I am a people magnet that way. I don't necessarily want to be the center of attention and if there is more talkative person, I'll go to background. But for the sake of the group, I'll try to lift the spirit, to make people enjoy and to feel comfortable. I do that naturally and that way people like to be in my company and around me. But, when more extraverted or very dominating person in a group (I wouldnt' say I'm dominating, even if some could say that too), I'll stay in the background.

So, my goal is not to be the center of attention but to make a good athmosphere happen so people feel comfortable. Because I hate the feeling of comfrontation and when people aren't feeling comfortable.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
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Messages
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6w7
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so/sx
However in the day to day, I sometimes feel like an Fi water sprinkler because I walk from building to building and sort of sprinkle Fi at people. Like little touches to let them know somebody cares about them. ..... Like maintenance touches? I dunno. Once I know people just a bit, I am comfortable around them and I make them laugh and smile as they seem so bummed out. Like an Fi water sprinkler to give their Fi just a bit of a boost, so they remeber things dont suck as bad as they thought they did.

hehe aww!! i love this description :heart:

I'm usually in good mood
+
I laugh a lot
= many people like to be in my company (but I wounld't say I'm popular or something like that).

:yes:
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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sx/sp
i don't know exactly how you mean but i think people react positively to positivity haha it's like a mirror or something...i don't know...i'm nice to people and they're usually nice back.

that's my take anyway...if you were to ask my older sister she'd say...and has said that everyone fawns all over me and my other enfp sister and have our whole lives...but she's a middle child and has the syndrome kinda.
 
G

Ginkgo

Guest
How ironic that an attention whore may have attention deficit disorder! :laugh:

attention_glitter.gif
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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May 3, 2009
Messages
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sx
I'm aware of my ability to draw attention and actively tend to curb it so it can be used in a focused way when I want to call upon it. Otherwise creepy old men start telling me they're in love with me.
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
MBTI Type
ENFP
In public with strangers, I actually dont make eye contact often and I wear a very firm te mask that keeps people from approaching me. I give signals of dont touch.

However whenever I read emails from my boyfriend or I drink a lot, then suddenly men start watching me. I cant keep the Te mask up any longer. They say things like "How can you be so cute?"

It freaks me out so I leave. However in the day to day, I sometimes feel like an Fi water sprinkler because I walk from building to building and sort of sprinkle Fi at people. Like little touches to let them know somebody cares about them. ..... Like maintenance touches? I dunno. Once I know people just a bit, I am comfortable around them and I make them laugh and smile as they seem so bummed out. Like an Fi water sprinkler to give their Fi just a bit of a boost, so they remeber things dont suck as bad as they thought they did. I did once have a bengledeshi stalker who wrote me post cards and poetry and wanted to fall in love in the rain with me, he knew my schedule and followed me from class to class, but I dont think he was a real stalker, just a really sweet newly immigrated ENFP guy who didnt quite understand american social norms.

I wear the mask too. Is that Te?
I'm tired of running and dressing down. I wonder what will happen once I stop fading into the background ....
 

sculpting

New member
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Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
I wear the mask too. Is that Te?
I'm tired of running and dressing down. I wonder what will happen once I stop fading into the background ....

Could be an Ni-ish shadow mask as well.

I dunno. When I let the mask drop and allow myself to be exposed I turn into that fun silly ENFP.

The one that everyone here hates, calls stupid, bubbly, fluffy, attention whore and so on. I had no idea how much people hated enfps until coming here to be honest. Maybe despise is the better word. Its weird as more than anything else, I just desire to be who I am and I work very hard to allow others to be who they are. I strive to not judge them by my standards but to try and understand why they do what they do....so to find out people despise what I am on the inside....and judge me, when I have refused to judge them....it makes me wonder if I should have just been a bit more judgmental my entire life, just out of sheer self protection.

But to answer your Q, just be prepared for them to judge that inner you...expose that core self carefully.
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
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ENFP
Could be an Ni-ish shadow mask as well.

I dunno. When I let the mask drop and allow myself to be exposed I turn into that fun silly ENFP.

The one that everyone here hates, calls stupid, bubbly, fluffy, attention whore and so on. I had no idea how much people hated enfps until coming here to be honest. Maybe despise is the better word. Its weird as more than anything else, I just desire to be who I am and I work very hard to allow others to be who they are. I strive to not judge them by my standards but to try and understand why they do what they do....so to find out people despise what I am on the inside....and judge me, when I have refused to judge them....it makes me wonder if I should have just been a bit more judgmental my entire life, just out of sheer self protection.

But to answer your Q, just be prepared for them to judge that inner you...expose that core self carefully.

:yes: Now it's time for me to practice.
 
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