[ENFJ] Are ENFJs Kissable?

[TopherRed]

Always been curious how my type is attractive from the opposing perspective. What do you find attractive in an ENFJ?

 

[Domino]

When we have cake on our face.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Opposing perspective? From another point of view other than the ENFJ, or outside of the NF type? I know in my case, I fell smitten over an ENFJ. There was something about the ENFJ that seemed like the more outgoing version of myself I wanted to be, and his charisma and enthusiasm for life was inspiring. It really got a hold of me. I could sense the child-like enthusiasm for life that catalyzed my Ni flights of imagination and fantasy that I ended up thinking about what the future might hold. I also thought that he was quite fantastic as a different type of leader, someone compassionate and caring, encouraging people to reach their potential. ENFJs have a sensitivity to them that I find refreshing, because I can be myself around them. I don't have to hide the fact that I feel things strongly, they seem to understand it. ENFJ males have a particular sparkle in their eyes, a gentle look that can make your heart feel like it is soaring. I love how NF males generally are passionate, and passion/romance is a turn on for me. Shame ENFJ males are bloody hard to find! lol

 

[TopherRed]

Opposing perspective? From another point of view other than the ENFJ, or outside of the NF type? I know in my case, I fell smitten over an ENFJ. There was something about the ENFJ that seemed like the more outgoing version of myself I wanted to be, and his charisma and enthusiasm for life was inspiring. It really got a hold of me. I could sense the child-like enthusiasm for life that catalyzed my Ni flights of imagination and fantasy that I ended up thinking about what the future might hold. I also thought that he was quite fantastic as a different type of leader, someone compassionate and caring, encouraging people to reach their potential. ENFJs have a sensitivity to them that I find refreshing, because I can be myself around them. I don't have to hide the fact that I feel things strongly, they seem to understand it. ENFJ males have a particular sparkle in their eyes, a gentle look that can make your heart feel like it is soaring. I love how NF males generally are passionate, and passion/romance is a turn on for me. Shame ENFJ males are bloody hard to find! lol

Just other than the ENFJ; we talk about how awesome we are far too often, lol.

Your perspective is particularly interesting; I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine last night--an INFJ. Thing is, I feel the same--I can totally be myself around her without the threat of rejection, and we totally get one another.

The only issue I've found with an ENFJ/INFJ relationship is just that we might be too close together...I'd be afraid I'd be missing something. On the other hand, with INFPs, I find I often can't win...they care about/for themselves very well, but I think they find it difficult to care for others. Same with ENFPs to some magnitude; I've got one friend who calls me up only when she has a problem.

*shrug* Do you have any experience in that arena?

 

[Vasilisa]

Awww, are you fishing? Feeling low? I'll gladly tell you about my interaction with an ENFJ male.

It is hard to say where personality type qualities end and begin, so take from it what you will. I was not in any kind of romantic relationship with an ENFJ, this is about a friend. The ENFJ I know is very attractive. What makes him so attractive is that he is so smart. Really, really, naturally curious and able to remember things with ease. I felt like we had that in common, so it was great to be on some kind of learning experience with him because we were in sync. And being so smart gives him a wonderful advantage in his next really attractive quality, which is being incredibly funny. What I noticed about his humor is that he can just turn it on, as soon as he steps into a room even if it were filled with strangers. Which is not to say he acts goofy. Contrast it with my own nature (whether I am funny or not is debatable) where I have to warm to the situation first. A group of strangers - he owns it. I love the ENFJ wit so much. The ENFJ doesn't appear to want to stop growing, this too is appealing because I think it sends a signal that life together would remain exciting. This is hard to put into words, perhaps its the soul-searching of youth, but I really think that this ENFJ won't cease seeking new awareness. This carries an implication for those who might want to accompany the ENFJ on the ride, but still no "dead-shark" relationship threat which is exciting. The ENFJ can show tenderness and vulnerability. He displays a heart that is kind of symbolic and romantic, and I relate to that. And the ENFJ seems outwardly devoted to his love and the relationship's mutual progress.

For our private interactions it was as though we immediately felt something kindred between us, but it was almost like a light too bright to look at. Its difficult to describe.

One ENFJ: Intelligent, witty, charming, desiring to grow, romantic, loyal.
I hope this helps. I left out any negatives, since you asked only for what is attractive.

This post really reads like I was in love with an ENFJ. I absolutely wasn't, please understand. Maybe it comes naturally to name the beauty in the cherished people I'm fortunate enough to get to know.​

 

[TopherRed]

Fascinating. Fishing, maybe, I'm more curious than anything, so thank you for your insights! Feel free to include the negative; I've heard a lot of it here, but anything helps me improve myself.

 

[Unkindloving]

Bitch, I could've told you that we're kissable.
Course the prospect of ENFJ-on-ENFJ makes me shudder. I think it would break the universe, so I have no personal experience to offer there.

 

[CuriousFeeling]

Just other than the ENFJ; we talk about how awesome we are far too often, lol.

Your perspective is particularly interesting; I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine last night--an INFJ. Thing is, I feel the same--I can totally be myself around her without the threat of rejection, and we totally get one another.

The only issue I've found with an ENFJ/INFJ relationship is just that we might be too close together...I'd be afraid I'd be missing something. On the other hand, with INFPs, I find I often can't win...they care about/for themselves very well, but I think they find it difficult to care for others. Same with ENFPs to some magnitude; I've got one friend who calls me up only when she has a problem.

*shrug* Do you have any experience in that arena?

Most of my bffs have been ENFJs, and we have been very close. The thing is, maybe it's a type 4 thing as well, I kind of envy the fact they are much more gifted at the social stuff and seem to have much more success than I do in wrangling the troops up to do something. I end up feeling like I could never be half as wonderful, sunshiny and charismatic as they are. But, I feel a unique closeness with ENFJs, and feel that I have very rewarding conversations with them. They bring me out of my shell a bit.

 

[TopherRed]

Most of my bffs have been ENFJs, and we have been very close. The thing is, maybe it's a type 4 thing as well, I kind of envy the fact they are much more gifted at the social stuff and seem to have much more success than I do in wrangling the troops up to do something. I end up feeling like I could never be half as wonderful, sunshiny and charismatic as they are. But, I feel a unique closeness with ENFJs, and feel that I have very rewarding conversations with them. They bring me out of my shell a bit.

My INFJ friends have wisdom that I can't touch without them. They teach me, and guide me in the ways of the force so that I am able to conquer the universe.

Y'all are like Yoda.

 

[TopherRed]

Most of my bffs have been ENFJs, and we have been very close. The thing is, maybe it's a type 4 thing as well, I kind of envy the fact they are much more gifted at the social stuff and seem to have much more success than I do in wrangling the troops up to do something. I end up feeling like I could never be half as wonderful, sunshiny and charismatic as they are. But, I feel a unique closeness with ENFJs, and feel that I have very rewarding conversations with them. They bring me out of my shell a bit.

My INFJ friends have wisdom that I can't touch without them. They teach me, and guide me in the ways of the force so that I am able to conquer the universe.

Y'all are like Yoda.

Not to mention your courage and resilience. Your willingness to humor me. I value that you let loose around me; few people get me like that, and it's nice to see I can relax people, as well as motivate them.

 

[Arclight]

Just other than the ENFJ; we talk about how awesome we are far too often, lol.

Your perspective is particularly interesting; I recently reconnected with an old friend of mine last night--an INFJ. Thing is, I feel the same--I can totally be myself around her without the threat of rejection, and we totally get one another.

The only issue I've found with an ENFJ/INFJ relationship is just that we might be too close together...I'd be afraid I'd be missing something. On the other hand, with INFPs, I find I often can't win...they care about/for themselves very well, but I think they find it difficult to care for others. Same with ENFPs to some magnitude; I've got one friend who calls me up only when she has a problem.

*shrug* Do you have any experience in that arena?

Awww, are you fishing? Feeling low? I'll gladly tell you about my interaction with an ENFJ male.

It is hard to say where personality type qualities end and begin, so take from it what you will. I was not in any kind of romantic relationship with an ENFJ, this is about a friend. The ENFJ I know is very attractive. What makes him so attractive is that he is so smart. Really, really, naturally curious and able to remember things with ease. I felt like we had that in common, so it was great to be on some kind of learning experience with him because we were in sync. And being so smart gives him a wonderful advantage in his next really attractive quality, which is being incredibly funny. What I noticed about his humor is that he can just turn it on, as soon as he steps into a room even if it were filled with strangers. Which is not to say he acts goofy. Contrast it with my own nature (whether I am funny or not is debatable) where I have to warm to the situation first. A group of strangers - he owns it. I love the ENFJ wit so much. The ENFJ doesn't appear to want to stop growing, this too is appealing because I think it sends a signal that life together would remain exciting. This is hard to put into words, perhaps its the soul-searching of youth, but I really think that this ENFJ won't cease seeking new awareness. This carries an implication for those who might want to accompany the ENFJ on the ride, but still no "dead-shark" relationship threat which is exciting. The ENFJ can show tenderness and vulnerability. He displays a heart that is kind of symbolic and romantic, and I relate to that. And the ENFJ seems outwardly devoted to his love and the relationship's mutual progress.

For our private interactions it was as though we immediately felt something kindred between us, but it was almost like a light too bright to look at. Its difficult to describe.

One ENFJ: Intelligent, witty, charming, desiring to grow, romantic, loyal.
I hope this helps. I left out any negatives, since you asked only for what is attractive.

This post really reads like I was in love with an ENFJ. I absolutely wasn't, please understand. Maybe it comes naturally to name the beauty in the cherished people I'm fortunate enough to get to know.​

Most of my bffs have been ENFJs, and we have been very close. The thing is, maybe it's a type 4 thing as well, I kind of envy the fact they are much more gifted at the social stuff and seem to have much more success than I do in wrangling the troops up to do something. I end up feeling like I could never be half as wonderful, sunshiny and charismatic as they are. But, I feel a unique closeness with ENFJs, and feel that I have very rewarding conversations with them. They bring me out of my shell a bit.

My INFJ friends have wisdom that I can't touch without them. They teach me, and guide me in the ways of the force so that I am able to conquer the universe.

Y'all are like Yoda.

Not to mention your courage and resilience. Your willingness to humor me. I value that you let loose around me; few people get me like that, and it's nice to see I can relax people, as well as motivate them.

ENFJs and INFJs are synergy defined.

 

[OrangeAppled]

What isn't attractive?

- I like their teasing sense of humor; it can be cheesy, but they know it, which adds a whole other level of silly to it.
- I like that they're often really passionate about something, & it's usually something I can admire myself. Passion makes a person kissable, definitely.
- I like that they're very loyal to those they care about; friends don't slip through the cracks. They resist "growing" apart (although it still can happen).
- They have a huge intellectual curiosity; always a plus.
- They have a genuine curiosity in people, which comes across as very personable.
- They make stuff happen. They have structure & plans without being uptight or losing all sense of spontaneity.
- They're more purely sympathetic when you're down than an IFJ; you're less likely to get a lecture on what should have been done cough:ISFJ:cough: ) or what needs to be done cough:INFJ:cough: ).
- They're sensitive to people, & unabashedly warm & affectionate,

 

[OrangeAppled]

On the other hand, with INFPs, I find I often can't win...they care about/for themselves very well, but I think they find it difficult to care for others. Same with ENFPs to some magnitude; I've got one friend who calls me up only when she has a problem.

I don't think this is a fair statement. INFPs tend to show they care in non Fe ways, so if you're looking for Fe displays of caring, then no, you're not going to get it. However, that does not mean INFPs do not care; we may care so intensely that it's almost impossible to express.

I've been on the other end of both an INFJ & ENFJ who only talk about themselves & only call when they're down & need to vent. I think this has more to do with NFs attracting broken people in need of a listening ear than any particular type being only takers & not givers (but sometimes those broken people are other NFs...). The other issue is, I know some ENFJs who refuse to open up & keep deflecting the conversation away from them; what's a person supposed to do then?

 

[TopherRed]

You are right Ora. And I have trouble with those ENFJs too. A person is supposed to move slowly, but intently, to try to find the source of the pain (which is why they are really hiding). Sometimes, this process is one of waiting and drawing close, and can take months. Make sure before you try to help someone in this way that you genuinely care about them first, otherwise when it comes time for the tough love, they, being the ENFJs, will have seen through you months before that.

 

[Arclight]

I don't think this is a fair statement. INFPs tend to show they care in non Fe ways, so if you're looking for Fe displays of caring, then no, you're not going to get it. However, that does not mean INFPs do not care; we may care so intensely that it's almost impossible to express.

I've been on the other end of both an INFJ & ENFJ who only talk about themselves & only call when they're down & need to vent. I think this has more to do with NFs attracting broken people in need of a listening ear than any particular type being only takers & not givers (but sometimes those broken people are other NFs...). The other issue is, I know some ENFJs who refuse to open up & keep deflecting the conversation away from them; what's a person supposed to do then?

I was going to say.. if INFJs are synergy.. INFPs are Synchronicity. These are the people who understand my passion. These are the people who can hold that passion and not get burned by it , but rather embrace it and move with it, in synchronicity and harmony.

 

[TopherRed]

Fascinating!

 

[OrangeAppled]

You are right Ora. And I have trouble with those ENFJs too. A person is supposed to move slowly, but intently, to try to find the source of the pain (which is why they are really hiding). Sometimes, this process is one of waiting and drawing close, and can take months. Make sure before you try to help someone in this way that you genuinely care about them first, otherwise when it comes time for the tough love, they, being the ENFJs, will have seen through you months before that.

I'm not a proponent of tough love. I've noticed in many threads a huge distinction between ENFPs & INFPs there. The ENFPs don't mind giving/taking a kick in the butt, but the INFPs often loathe that method. We're not called "healers" for nothing. Not that I just coddle people either, but I'd argue that INFPs, on the whole, are the most gentle advisors of the NFs.

 

[TopherRed]

Interesting.

 

[Amethyst]

Maybe...if they don't brush their teeth with a bottle of jack.

 

[TopherRed]

HA! Are you saying Ke$ha is one of ours? Oh noes!