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[MBTI General] Am I Makin Crazy Talk Here?

Snuggletron

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sometimes I've thought some fellow NFs were SFs or NTs or whatever. Unless they're obvious. I don't think another NF would think I'm another NF even. Those in the matrix are not what they appear...
 

Vamp

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I've met people of every type who do this...

As well as people who are interested in you for other reasons, people who are trying to sell you something (and there are different ways to try and sell someone something) will fix their gaze intently on you. I'm inclined to agree with marmalade on this one.

I think you and marmalade are missing the gist of this thread just because you choose to fixate on the more superstitious responses. The gist is: NFs tend to have NF friends. I certainly did and I haven't found that kind of kinship since, for whatever reason. And like another poster I'm tired of being told I make no sense by people who are presumbaly S. There is something like "link up" when you meet another person that might be an NF or NT.
 

Thalassa

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Then stop fixating on the muck, switch to the substance and trying to paint any NF kinship as offensive.

My posts were of substance. I'm pointing out that you guys are wrong. That is substance, and I never said NF kinship was offensive, I said I often feel understood by NF women.

You're always telling other people how to behave in threads.
 

SilkRoad

Lay the coin on my tongue
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I think you and marmalade are missing the gist of this thread just because you choose to fixate on the more superstitious responses. The gist is: NFs tend to have NF friends. I certainly did and I haven't found that kind of kinship since, for whatever reason. And like another poster I'm tired of being told I make no sense by people who are presumbaly S. There is something like "link up" when you meet another person that might be an NF or NT.

That can certainly be the case. After I started looking into MBTI I discovered that at least three of my best friends tested INFJ (though I'm only convinced that one of them is INFJ...the other two are likely to be, I think, but I'm not sure.) I know that I have felt intense connections with Ns on numerous occasions. Of course, I have sometimes felt intense connections with other types but it may stem from other causes than a recognition of an intuitive approach to life.

I just have a problem with the "look in the eye" thing, really. Of course, I also don't believe in love at first sight ;) And the "look in the eye" thing was basically the whole starting point of the thread. It just seems to stem from some of NF's worst "we are utterly intuitive" tendencies. Particularly INFJs, and I speak as an INFJ.
 

Lauren

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+1. I think maybe after some deep conversation you might get a better idea that someone is NF...but otherwise...this sounds to me like the all-too-typical "NFs are completely intuitive! We can always read people with 100% accuracy and are NEVER wrong about another human being! It has never happened! Not even once!"...sort of thing.

Sorry. ;)

I don't see the thread as a pat on the back thing at all. I don't think anyone here said they are never wrong about another human being. Intuitives may naturally pick up on certain things but it's no different than the other strengths of the odd, wonderful and endless variety of souls out there. To describe intuition and how it works and how it feels to connect with other intuitive feelers or thinkers is just that: sharing how it feels to live in your skin. As an NF I've had to adjust to most of the other types because they're not as skilled at adjusting to my preferences. With other NFs or NTs, I can relax. :hug:
 

Lauren

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I just have a problem with the "look in the eye" thing, really. Of course, I also don't believe in love at first sight ;) And the "look in the eye" thing was basically the whole starting point of the thread. It just seems to stem from some of NF's worst "we are utterly intuitive" tendencies. Particularly INFJs, and I speak as an INFJ.

It's not a conceit to say that that you can look someone in the eye and fall in love or see a kindred soul. It happens. Sometimes it may take a while to realize it's love, but that first look, you know something is cooking or in some cases is already fully baked. :)
 

Vamp

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My posts were of substance. I'm pointing out that you guys are wrong. That is substance, and I never said NF kinship was offensive, I said I often feel understood by NF women.

You're always telling other people how to behave in threads.

If you notice I said nothing as superstitious as "NFs are the only type that looks others in the eyes" but whatever, you just hate NFs feeling good about being NFs. We should all kowtow and kiss other types asses because they have it rough despite being the majority in the world.

I don't even believe intuition is soley an N-thing or that intuitives are somehow "deep".

You focused on the bad. And saw everything wrong with an NF finally being happy to be an NF. I guess the only acceptable thing is self loathing.
 

Vamp

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That can certainly be the case. After I started looking into MBTI I discovered that at least three of my best friends tested INFJ (though I'm only convinced that one of them is INFJ...the other two are likely to be, I think, but I'm not sure.) I know that I have felt intense connections with Ns on numerous occasions. Of course, I have sometimes felt intense connections with other types but it may stem from other causes than a recognition of an intuitive approach to life.

I just have a problem with the "look in the eye" thing, really. Of course, I also don't believe in love at first sight ;) And the "look in the eye" thing was basically the whole starting point of the thread. It just seems to stem from some of NF's worst "we are utterly intuitive" tendencies. Particularly INFJs, and I speak as an INFJ.

I don't believe the poster's intent was all that anti-S or anti-other type.
 

Thalassa

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If you notice I said nothing as superstitious as "NFs are the only type that looks others in the eyes" but whatever, you just hate NFs feeling good about being NFs. We should all kowtow and kiss other types asses because they have it rough despite being the majority in the world.

What the hell are you talking about?

You've totally lost me, seriously. You're making stuff up now.

I'm just stating it's bullshit to say only NFs are super-interested in people (IME ExFJs, whether S or N, are usually EXTREMELY people focused because of Fe dominance) and it's definitely bullshit to say they're the only ones who look you in the eye.

But I'll change my type to ISFP again if that makes you feel better about your pre-conceived notions about NFs. I'm nice like that.
 

skylights

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i get a certain resonance from many NFs too. it's usually just certain a fluidity in interaction, or an instant "alignment" (especially at work).

as for a look in the eye... this has nothing at all to do with NFs being special or anything... but there is a look that NFs have sometimes, which is like they are attentive to you in a friendly manner, but also like they're looking through you - like they're looking for more information than they're getting. i would venture to say it could be an actual NF/non-NF difference, present in specific movements of the eyes. i wouldn't be surprised to hear that Ns and Ss, and Fs and Ts, have differences in their eye movement patterns, since we tend to pay attention to different things. the "looking through" is probably an N thing and the close people-attention is probably a F thing. maybe it's just a natural reaction to realize when people are looking at and responding to the same things that we do. i also think it would seem a fair statistic that NFs in particular would pick up on an odd difference like this, not because we're better in any way than the other types, but because we're both pattern and people attuned.

just theorizing. ._.
 

Thalassa

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I don't know but I notice it more in conversation, in content, honestly.
 

Z Buck McFate

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as for a look in the eye... this has nothing at all to do with NFs being special or anything... but there is a look that NFs have sometimes, which is like they are attentive to you in a friendly manner, but also like they're looking through you - like they're looking for more information than they're getting. i would venture to say it could be an actual NF/non-NF difference, present in specific movements of the eyes. i wouldn't be surprised to hear that Ns and Ss, and Fs and Ts, have differences in their eye movement patterns, since we tend to pay attention to different things. the "looking through" is probably an N thing and the close people-attention is probably a F thing. maybe it's just a natural reaction to realize when people are looking at and responding to the same things that we do. i also think it would seem a fair statistic that NFs in particular would pick up on an odd difference like this, not because we're better in any way than the other types, but because we're both pattern and people attuned.

just theorizing. ._.

Yeah, agreed. If anything, if I had to guess how NFs could recognize each other through eye contact it would be from lack of immediate presence. Even when there's eye contact, there's often a feeling like the person is thinking about something else. And it's feasible to me that people might be able to recognize others looking at and responding to a surrounding environment in a very similar manner to our own. I've just never personally paid enough attention to it actually happening to have an solid opinion.
 

copperfish17

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TBH I don't think this whole "kinship" thing has to do with being an NF/being NFs. Universal tr00th: People tend to be more empathetic to people who are similar to themselves. This goes across the board and does not pertain solely to NFs.

I am convinced, however, that NFs are naturally more prone to cliquish behavior than are the other three temperaments.

OMG WHY IS THE WORLD SO MEAN TO US? SOB. BEING A MINORITY AUTOMATICALLY MAKES OUR LIVES HARDER AND THUS ENTITLES US TO THE RIGHT TO WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, AND WHINE SUM MOAR. THE MAJORITY ANTAGONIZES US AS A RULE, CUZ WE'RE THE SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKES OF THIS WORLD THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. BOOHOO. WE'RE DAMN SPECIAL AND NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TELL US OTHERWISE CUZ THEY'RE NOT ONE OF US. LET'S STICK THROUGH THIS CRUEL WORLD TOGETHER CUZ WE HAVE EVERYTHING SO MUCH HARDER THAN OTHERS CRAI CRAI CRAI. EVERYONE ELSE'S LIFE IS ALWAYS EASIER THAN OURS.

Lots of exaggerations there, but you get the idea.

Disclaimer: I am not anti-NF in any way; I am only criticizing certain immature NFs here. ^
 

ilovelurking

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TBH I don't think this whole "kinship" thing has to do with being an NF/being NFs. Universal tr00th: People tend to be more empathetic to people who are similar to themselves. This goes across the board and does not pertain solely to NFs.

I am convinced, however, that NFs are naturally more prone to cliquish behavior than are the other three temperaments.

OMG WHY IS THE WORLD SO MEAN TO US? SOB. BEING A MINORITY AUTOMATICALLY MAKES OUR LIVES HARDER AND THUS ENTITLES US TO THE RIGHT TO WHINE, WHINE, WHINE, AND WHINE SUM MOAR. THE MAJORITY ANTAGONIZES US AS A RULE, CUZ WE'RE THE SPECIAL LITTLE SNOWFLAKES OF THIS WORLD THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. BOOHOO. WE'RE DAMN SPECIAL AND NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TELL US OTHERWISE CUZ THEY'RE NOT ONE OF US. LET'S STICK THROUGH THIS CRUEL WORLD TOGETHER CUZ WE HAVE EVERYTHING SO MUCH HARDER THAN OTHERS CRAI CRAI CRAI. EVERYONE ELSE'S LIFE IS ALWAYS EASIER THAN OURS.

Lots of exaggerations there, but you get the idea.

Disclaimer: I am not anti-NF in any way; I am only criticizing certain immature NFs here. ^

^ :rofl1:
 

Lauren

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I've met people of every type who do this...

As well as people who are interested in you for other reasons, people who are trying to sell you something (and there are different ways to try and sell someone something) will fix their gaze intently on you. I'm inclined to agree with marmalade on this one.

I don't mean that only NFs fix their gaze on a person. I was only talking in general about NFs and certainly not all of them do this. It wasn't meant as a blanket statement. Sure, there are SFs who also do this. When I said this, I was thinking of the strong NFs that I know or have met.
 

Lauren

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I've met people of every type who do this...

As well as people who are interested in you for other reasons, people who are trying to sell you something (and there are different ways to try and sell someone something) will fix their gaze intently on you. I'm inclined to agree with marmalade on this one.

I think what the OP was referring to was a warm gaze, a desire to connect personally. Not those who will stare at you because they want to sell you something or have other less personal motives. I know an ISTJ that is known for his very cold and distant, disquieting stare.
 

Lauren

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i get a certain resonance from many NFs too. it's usually just certain a fluidity in interaction, or an instant "alignment" (especially at work).

as for a look in the eye... this has nothing at all to do with NFs being special or anything... but there is a look that NFs have sometimes, which is like they are attentive to you in a friendly manner, but also like they're looking through you - like they're looking for more information than they're getting. i would venture to say it could be an actual NF/non-NF difference, present in specific movements of the eyes. i wouldn't be surprised to hear that Ns and Ss, and Fs and Ts, have differences in their eye movement patterns, since we tend to pay attention to different things. the "looking through" is probably an N thing and the close people-attention is probably a F thing. maybe it's just a natural reaction to realize when people are looking at and responding to the same things that we do. i also think it would seem a fair statistic that NFs in particular would pick up on an odd difference like this, not because we're better in any way than the other types, but because we're both pattern and people attuned.

just theorizing. ._.

The "looking through" and "close people attention" is a good way to describe it. I also agree with your other thoughts.
 

Lauren

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Yeah, agreed. If anything, if I had to guess how NFs could recognize each other through eye contact it would be from lack of immediate presence. Even when there's eye contact, there's often a feeling like the person is thinking about something else. And it's feasible to me that people might be able to recognize others looking at and responding to a surrounding environment in a very similar manner to our own. I've just never personally paid enough attention to it actually happening to have an solid opinion.

This is very true for NFs, that lack of immediate presence. NFs or NTs can hopscotch around in thoughts while talking with one another but get a sense of a strong and satisfying connection because, though they may seem to be somewhere else, the two people are connecting the dots with one another. When this happens, you can immediately feel closer to the other person. It allows other doorways to open to each other.
 
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