• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFJ] ENFP crush on INFJ need your help...

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Off topic...but I like that he knows he is INFJ. Of course if he is some sort of employment officer this makes sense...but the 2 INFJ males in my life were like INFJ WTF? I suspected with both. One...I work with & we just happened to have a workshop involving 'Type'...and the other I had to beg (& I mean beg) to take the full-length MB.

I just think it is helpful to have this kind of knowledge (obviously as I'm part of this site).

If you are able to come back & answer...how did it come up in conversation. Was he just like..."I'm INFJ"...?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I don't know about other INFJs, but I strongly object to that!! I highly resent being backed into a corner.

Oh honey, you know I was just joking... And I object to your objections!
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'd write him a note going: 'Thanks for everything you've done for me. Too bad it means the end of seeing you..it brightened my day. If you want though...give me a call some time ;)' [add number]

It gives him time to process, leaves the ball in his corner, not putting him under pressure and makes it very clear you'd be interested so he doesn't have to doubt that. It's also light hearted enough and if he doesn't call...well, then you have your answer without awkwardness ;)
 

Lily flower

New member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
930
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
Just call & ask. We introverts can run, even when the situation is a good one. He may feel that he will get in big trouble for dating a client, so congratulations, you are no longer a client. Go for it!
 

thescientist

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
254
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
I'd write him a note going: 'Thanks for everything you've done for me. Too bad it means the end of seeing you..it brightened my day. If you want though...give me a call some time ;)' [add number]

It gives him time to process, leaves the ball in his corner, not putting him under pressure and makes it very clear you'd be interested so he doesn't have to doubt that. It's also light hearted enough and if he doesn't call...well, then you have your answer without awkwardness ;)

^I think this is the safest and wisest option. If the dude INDEED likes you, he will definitely respond to that. If he doesnt respond, he probably: 1) is not interested 2) is unavailable and invested in someone else or 3) lacks some big man balls and why would you want a man like that?

When you're giving a man THE HINT and an obvious one at that, if he likes you enough he WILL make a move.
 

ilovelurking

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
156
MBTI Type
INFJ
I'm not a dude, but I appreciate straight-forwardness. ENFPs are very good at this, thus my ENFP husband.

If you see him, ask him out...in my opinion anyway, but I'm a weird ass INFJ. The avoidance thing is something I have done (and still do) when I know someone likes me on any level, and I'm not sure how to reciprocate.

I'm like this, too!

I'd write him a note going: 'Thanks for everything you've done for me. Too bad it means the end of seeing you..it brightened my day. If you want though...give me a call some time ;)' [add number]

It gives him time to process, leaves the ball in his corner, not putting him under pressure and makes it very clear you'd be interested so he doesn't have to doubt that. It's also light hearted enough and if he doesn't call...well, then you have your answer without awkwardness ;)

On my ENFP's last day of work, she said,"Hey you, come here!" And I didn't budge because I'm a weird ass INFJ :D but she walked to where I was and put her arm around my shoulders and said,"Keep in touch!" She did that right infront of my other colleagues who have a HUGE crush on HER. That left me with an idea that she wants to continue our friendship (at that time) and that's a relief from all the second-guessing. ;) Satine's idea is great, too, and maybe you'd want to add,"Keep in touch", to the note. :)

It'll probably take some time for him to reply to that if he's shy.

^I think this is the safest and wisest option. If the dude INDEED likes you, he will definitely respond to that. If he doesnt respond, he probably: 1) is not interested 2) is unavailable and invested in someone else or 3) lacks some big man balls and why would you want a man like that?

When you're giving a man THE HINT and an obvious one at that, if he likes you enough he WILL make a move.

^ What he said, too!
 

Rebe

New member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
I'd write him a note going: 'Thanks for everything you've done for me. Too bad it means the end of seeing you..it brightened my day. If you want though...give me a call some time ;)' [add number]

It gives him time to process, leaves the ball in his corner, not putting him under pressure and makes it very clear you'd be interested so he doesn't have to doubt that. It's also light hearted enough and if he doesn't call...well, then you have your answer without awkwardness ;)

Excellent advice! Leave a note!

Do something!
 

hermeticdancer

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
209
MBTI Type
eNFp
Enneagram
4
Off topic...but I like that he knows he is INFJ. Of course if he is some sort of employment officer this makes sense...but the 2 INFJ males in my life were like INFJ WTF? I suspected with both. One...I work with & we just happened to have a workshop involving 'Type'...and the other I had to beg (& I mean beg) to take the full-length MB.

I just think it is helpful to have this kind of knowledge (obviously as I'm part of this site).

If you are able to come back & answer...how did it come up in conversation. Was he just like..."I'm INFJ"...?

We were talking about careers, and what I wanted to do, versus, what I was doing, and intrest profiling, testing. He wanted me to take a holland code test, the Artistic, social, enterprising, thingy... to see where I was at... a standard thing they have you do... so anyhoo... I told him I was ASE, or ASI depending on my mood... and that also, I was an ENFP...
and went into MBTI a bit. He said ohh ya, I remember taking that, I came out an INFJ. And he told me the careers associated with his personality type his college major and some of his further ambitions, (I asked him) he apparently loves books and reading... which I think is soooo sexy!
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
i have nothing smart to say, i just think this is adorable and wish you good luck :heart:
 

hermeticdancer

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
209
MBTI Type
eNFp
Enneagram
4
I cant do it!

I am having anxiety... it just doesn':cry:t feel right... I just can't seem to call... or do anything,,, I feel terrible.
He is going to feel weird, and have to reject me, and ill feel stupid, I can picture it...
 

thescientist

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
254
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
I am having anxiety... it just doesn':cry:t feel right... I just can't seem to call... or do anything,,, I feel terrible.
He is going to feel weird, and have to reject me, and ill feel stupid, I can picture it...

Don't CALL him! Just do exactly what Satine said! Send him a Thank You note with your number! If he doesn't call then you'll know your answer and it won't be embarrassing or awkward. What have you got to lose?
 

hermeticdancer

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
209
MBTI Type
eNFp
Enneagram
4
Don't CALL him! Just do exactly what Satine said! Send him a Thank You note with your number! If he doesn't call then you'll know your answer and it won't be embarrassing or awkward. What have you got to lose?

How am I supposed to send him a thank you note w/o anyone seeing, flowers? maybe in the movies...deliver it to the office? He could get fired. The people are really anal, and also, he seemed really uptight...during our last meeting and convo... I feel like I am some kind of deviant.
You send the note...
 

thescientist

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
254
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Flowers are overkill. The note is just a cordial thank you for his help, and an "if you want to keep in touch or hang out some time here's my number". Satine put it much more eloquently.

Is there an admin/front desk that can deliver him the note? Just put it in an envelope if youre worried about someone seeing it. I dunno...

I know it's all easier said than done :/ I'd be terrified too. ha.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
this thread is so cute! haha

if it's rare for you to crush on someone like this...ya gotta do something...just send a thank you card...that's normal and appropriate...and do what satine said...except in your words...just let him know you'd be interested in seeing him in some light not overdone way...good luck! and ya gotta let us know what happened. :)
 

hermeticdancer

New member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
209
MBTI Type
eNFp
Enneagram
4
this thread is so cute! haha

if it's rare for you to crush on someone like this...ya gotta do something...just send a thank you card...that's normal and appropriate...and do what satine said...except in your words...just let him know you'd be interested in seeing him in some light not overdone way...good luck! and ya gotta let us know what happened. :)
Ya it is... I get a rapid heart rate just thinking about it... because I want it so much.

I'm just not interested in anyone else, since I met him...he is the total package for me.
 

ilovelurking

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
156
MBTI Type
INFJ
Ask a friend to help you if you're still feeling jittery. Your friend can help you ask the frontdesk/admin staff to pass the card to him, for you. :)
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
time to process, a note that makes clear you're interested to help avoid the inevitable second-guessing, a kind of setting for a get-together that will be conducive to the situation and put him at ease (why coffee works)--these are all excellent pieces of advice.

i feel so fucking awkward in these situations that i get more formal acting, but not a natural kind of formal, because i'm not really formal. i'm just trying to act like i'm supposed to more than normal and i'm pretty awful at it because i hate acting like i'm supposed to. i like letting down my guard, or just being free to wander into whatever spaces i find interesting and funny and aesthetically satisfying. i hate showing my intentions or desires before i know what to do with them, and i'm chronically indecisive so it tends to just make for a natural conservatism and kind of stiff attitude, kind of closed off, distant, etc. in situations that threaten me with potential embarassment. i can easily self-disclose when i am in control, but it's a million times more difficult to really risk feelings with someone else and to feel yourself losing control and watching this person capable of affecting you so dramatically and you knowing that you've relinquished so much of your intepretation of yourself and your imaginary world gets tested with the real world which is risky. also, watch amelie.

i'd suggest listening to ilovelurking (who might as well be speaking for me as well) and domino (who i'm pretty sure would immediately be able to invade my space in a way that i wouldn't resent but instead begrudgingly enjoy).
 

ilovelurking

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2009
Messages
156
MBTI Type
INFJ
i feel so fucking awkward in these situations that i get more formal acting, but not a natural kind of formal, because i'm not really formal. i'm just trying to act like i'm supposed to more than normal and i'm pretty awful at it because i hate acting like i'm supposed to. i like letting down my guard, or just being free to wander into whatever spaces i find interesting and funny and aesthetically satisfying. i hate showing my intentions or desires before i know what to do with them, and i'm chronically indecisive so it tends to just make for a natural conservatism and kind of stiff attitude, kind of closed off, distant, etc. in situations that threaten me with potential embarassment. i can easily self-disclose when i am in control, but it's a million times more difficult to really risk feelings with someone else and to feel yourself losing control and watching this person capable of affecting you so dramatically and you knowing that you've relinquished so much of your intepretation of yourself and your imaginary world gets tested with the real world which is risky. also, watch amelie.

^ That's what I do, too! Hahaha! :D

And yes, I highly recommend watching Amelie, too.

By the way, you don't have to drink coffee if you ask him out to have coffee. There are alternatives. ;) INFJs love it when you're yourself like how ENFPs prefer people who are true to themselves.

By my experience, my dates with my ENFP were very awkward. I felt that she could see right through me and I found it amusing when she told me that I was the one seeing right through her...hahaha! I do enjoy dates with her, by the way. Just that I froze...alot. He might do the same so go easy on both of yourselves. No need to beat yourself up if you think that you might had a bad date just because you felt all wobbly-knee and stuff. Right now, the one thing that you want to focus on is to keep seeing and keeping in touch with him. :)

This is off-topic but I just got reminded if I'll be so nervous when I go visit her next year. Hahahaha!
 
Top