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  1. #11
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008


    I wouldn't say that this kind of explosive creativity is all that common with me. I need something from the outside to trigger it, even if it all is happening on the inside. For example, if I want to paint now, and be in the zone, I might first look through all the unfinished ideas I got laying around the room. I got walls full of sketches. If I don't have any idea yet, I will go to the attic and see what kind of material I have to paint on. I got there a bunch of wood and boards and so on. I might be inspired by certain shape of a canvas. In that case it will be an idea of composition in my head without any subject. Then I try to fit in it some of my usual themes or one of the unfinished ideas. At this point I prepare the canvas. I usually just paint it white. This helps me to settle down and get into the zone. It is kind of meditative for me. When I get the canvas prepared, I start with the most obvious part of the picture. Then the picture takes over, in a way. I might get a bit further with my plans, but usually what happens, I have the image there, but it doesn't work for some reason, and I don't know why. Then I lose interest in my plan and start to do something weird with it. After doing this for a while the image transforms itself almost miraculously into something that does work. Then I only have one more challenge. To know where to stop.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Tabula's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    9w1 so/sx


    To be born with a fundamental dissatisfaction with the reality I was born into necessitates the development of SOMETHING or SOME WAY to cope.

    The only way I've been able to describe it in a word is "desperation" - a burning in my belly that can't be cooled by acknowledgment or put out by structure or anything else. It's something I recognize in other people too, and no, not the "desperate" you might be thinking of ... maybe I'm just projecting. I don't know. But to tap into that periodically is necessary to ease the pressure - if I go too long without doing that, the dam folds, and The Flood ensues! I'm not speaking about "desperation" in the context of a connection/lack of connection with other people; "The Flood" is self-contained with a sort of ascetic, concentrated creativity/compulsive imagining that has an almost psychotic flavor, and is not under my conscious control. It has been tempered somewhat by careful and concerted efforts to imbibe certain necessary aspects of "reality" and the society I live in in order to get along and function, but it still bears the same markings when it escapes from me at full force from time-to-time. My conscious allowance of it to have its way has a much gentler, fluid aspect to it, as compared to that "psychotic deluge" that will happen if I am forced to work within too much structure. It's funny. The middle school I attended was a very strict, rigid, structured and dry environment. Once in a while, when given the chance to finally write something we could come up with on our own, I'd always go pages and pages and pages over the required amount, and my teacher would write at the top, "A little less your thoughts on X and a little more of X next time, please." I just couldn't help it. I felt like they were slowly draining my blood, and used every opportunity I had to express SOMETHING that was uniquely my own.

    To be honest, I think it's just a coping mechanism I developed as a kid as a way to release some of the anger I felt with myself and my world for it and me not being the way I wanted them to be. As for the WHY I felt that way in the first place? I don't know.

    My intensity comes from that desperation, my creativity is my pocket translator that compulsively communicates on behalf of my imagination, which itself has been there in the driver's seat for as long as I can remember.

    Convoluted? Haha! That's my mother tongue!

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Does anyone have anything else to add?
    I'm curious. How does intensity manifest itself in terms of feelings towards others?
    Well, when I feel intensely about someone, I focus in on them entirely and I think I sound more intense, meaning I don't appear to be happy and relaxed in that person's presence. I might do something that might seem inexplicable or disjointed to them such as talking excitedly and then suddenly shutting down and abruptly leaving their presence. Or I focus in on how they're feeling or personal feelings in general and I'll want to explore those feelings. If I feel intensely about someone and have space and time to be with it, I'll relax more and be more playful. With people in general, I'll completely focus in on them when I'm talking with them. I usually try to listen as closely as I can to what they're saying. I have a good memory in general but if I feel intensely about someone, I can recall almost every conversation I've had with them, where we had it (smells, sights, sounds), what was said, and how I was feeling. Sometimes, if the opportunity comes up, I like to let the other person know what I remember about being with them. There are just a few of my closest friends who understand and don't mind the way intensity can seem like an unstoppable force. When I'm intense with my friends, I'll gush about things or go off on a long tangent about something I've thought about. My good INFJ friend has sometimes said...."whoa girl"..."Okay...I've had enough for a while"...when I'm like that. Other times she'll come along with me.

    How does it manifest itself for you?

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