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[NF] NFs, What Is The Most Polite Way for me to Address my Teachers (Middle Eastern Case)?

BMEF

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Dear readers,

I'm a 16 year-old male student studying at an American school in Kuwait. I'm currently having a problem finding the right way to address teachers... Students in my school (99.99%) ALWAYS call teachers "Miss/Ms." or "Mister/Mr.".. Yet, for some reason, I find that disrespectful to foreign teachers that are new to Kuwait.. About a year ago, I started addressing my male teachers (Americans/Canadians/Europeans) the name "sir" and have noticed that they really appreciate that and act more courteous towards me whenever I go talk to them..

The problem is I find it awkward to find the most polite way to address female teachers, especially those that are in their early twenties (just graduated from universities).... I don't like "Miss/Ms." because I find that just about as disrespectful as "Mister/Mr.".. The word "Ma'am" might offend some female teachers because they would be thinking "How old does this kid think I am?!" The word "Madam" can be interpreted differently because I've heard that it also means a woman that is in charge of a house of prostitution..

In Kuwait, teachers both male and female, are called by "Mr. First Name" / "Ms. First Name"..
For example I usually say "Mr. James" in front of my class, but say "sir" when I approach that male teacher individually ( to not be laughed at for being different).. On the other hand, I ALWAYS call a female teacher, by "Ms.+First Name". For example, "Ms. Kathy".. I call her "Ms. Kathy" as well when I talk to her individually..

Yet, I prefer to refer to my teachers when I'm talking to them on a daily basis by addressing them in one word... I'm sticking with "sir"..

Back to my original question, what should I address female teachers in my situation??

Sorry for the confusion and thank you in advance!
 

cafe

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Ma'am is probably the closest to what you're looking for. 'Miss' by itself could theoretically work, but it might be a little old fashioned. That's not always a bad thing, though.
 

Fidelia

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I used to be called Miss a lot when I lived on the reserve, but had never had that before. I usually use Ma'am in a tongue in cheek joking way, but wouldn't be offended if someone called me that (I'm 34). Ma'am is likely the word to use although it's not very common usage for us even in business situations anymore.
 

Tallulah

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I think ma'am is the closest thing we have to sir. Miss, to me, isn't quite as respectful. I think your teachers will appreciate your effort and tone, anyway.
 

tkae.

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So wait, are you Middle Eastern and are studying at the American school in Kuwait, or are you an American studying at the American school in Kuwait?

So basically..

If your teachers are American, they'll be used to being called, "Mr. ..." or "Ms./Mrs. ..." It's not even a respect thing, it's just the thing that I've always called teachers. I only changed it up when I got into college. And even then, I still do it -- if they have their Doctorate, I call them "Dr. ...", if they don't, I call them "Mr./Mrs. ...".

Such as two of my teachers:

I call my adviser Dr. North.
I call my creative writing teacher Mrs. Cook.

They're both women, and they're perfectly fine with it. In fact, my creative writing teacher wishes I'd just use her first name, but that's strictly a college thing that's on a case-by-case basis.

So if you're looking for the "American" way of doing it, then use Mr./Mrs. It wouldn't be wrong or anything to tack a ma'am or sir onto the end, they'd probably appreciate it. But if they're American teachers, then Mr./Mrs. is what you say.

Tell me if I'm misunderstanding the situation though :blushing:
 

Coriolis

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Yes, Ma'am is absolutely the female equivalent of Sir, regardless of the age of the woman. If a very young teacher initially finds it odd, she should get used to it. In certain environments like the military, it is universal: a 19-year-old cadet will be called Ma'am by a junior cadet, and will not feel the speaker is overestimating her age.
 

skylights

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i agree with ma'am, at least for americans - i'm in my early 20s, and i feel respected when people call me ma'am. i don't really like "miss", and you're right about "madam" having bad connotations... lol!

in any case i think your politeness will likely show through regardless of what titles you use as well. :yes:
 

animenagai

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If these teachers are from the states, I really doubt that they'll care. I don't want to confuse you but I actually find sir/madam a little too cold for my liking.
 

Adasta

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Here's an English perspective:

At secondary school, I:

  • always called my male teachers Mr. [Surname] or Sir.
  • always called my female teachers Miss (i.e. only the word "Miss" and nothing else) or Ms. [Surname]


The term "Ma'am" in England is reserved for women in positions of real "state" authority, for example an Officer in the armed forces or the police. "Ma'am" is pronounced differently in the US (US "mey-am"; UK "maarm") which makes it sound more informal. In England, I would never call a lady I have just met or a teacher Ma'am - in fact, it tends to make them feel rather old! A teacher, while in a position of authority, is rarely called Ma'am because she is considered to be helping you and therefore more "friendly" rather than "official", if that makes sense. However, I am sure things are different in some private schools.
 

SilkRoad

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I'm Canadian and I only really get "Ma'am" when I travel in the States. It makes me feel a million years old. But I also know it's people being polite and actually I do really appreciate the general American politeness and friendliness and attention to customer service, etc. I live in the UK and as much as I love it, people in any type of customer serving positions tend to be pretty rude here by North American standards.

Anyway, I don't have much to add here, I think you/the other people who have commented are on the right track. It's interesting because I have an American friend (who I met here in the UK) who has spent a lot of time in the Middle East. She'd probably have something to add. She has studied Arabic extensively in Middle Eastern countries, spent time living and travelling there etc. I know she has told me that if Arab people have a teacher who they really respect they are likely to call them something like "Professor" even if the person isn't technically a professor. But those are actual Arab people we're talking about, not foreigners or whatever.
 

Adasta

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I'm Canadian and I only really get "Ma'am" when I travel in the States. It makes me feel a million years old. But I also know it's people being polite and actually I do really appreciate the general American politeness and friendliness and attention to customer service, etc. I live in the UK and as much as I love it, people in any type of customer serving positions tend to be pretty rude here by North American standards.

I always find this really interesting. For me, American customer service seems false and, at worse, obsequious. I remember going into a shop in America and the shop assistant saying "Hey, how are you?" in that jovial, American way which is friendly, disarming and curious all at once. I replied "I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" He seemed dumbfounded that I had responded at all.

However, I must stress that if you live in London then, well...that's not the UK haha. I had recently moved to London and I can tell you that people are more polite elsewhere. But that's capital cities for you.
 

SilkRoad

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I always find this really interesting. For me, American customer service seems false and, at worse, obsequious. I remember going into a shop in America and the shop assistant saying "Hey, how are you?" in that jovial, American way which is friendly, disarming and curious all at once. I replied "I'm fine, thank you. How are you?" He seemed dumbfounded that I had responded at all.

However, I must stress that if you live in London then, well...that's not the UK haha. I had recently moved to London and I can tell you that people are more polite elsewhere. But that's capital cities for you.

Ok...I know this is going to sound insulting, so I apologise in advance. But...my experience is that the vast majority of Europeans (certainly including the British, if I may call them "European" for this example) loathe Americans with a vitriol I certainly never encountered in Canada, and think they're all utterly fake, shallow, stupid, ignorant, ad nauseam. So I'm used to hearing this from Europeans about American customer service. And American anything else. I find myself in the odd position of being a Canadian who keeps ending up defending Americans because I'm so tired of the knee-jerk reaction of 99% of Europeans to Americans.

I haven't known a lot of Americans personally, but those who I have, I've liked a lot. My friend who is obsessed with the Middle East is one of my best friends, but I should add that she's actually a very anti-American American. She's pretty much disowned the US. I really don't understand her obsession with the Middle East, though. She is literally not interested in any other part of the world, at all.

Yeah, I do live in London and customer service is generally awful. I know it's better outside London. Generally though I find customer service in Europe pretty poor (appalling in Eastern Europe etc, though I love those countries for other things.) The thing is...when people complain about the fakeness of it in America, my response is something like "I don't give a flying %^&%* if they're being fake. At least they're attentive and giving me good service, unlike the average European shop assistant who looks like I've ruined their day if I ask for help."

Sorry...bit of a thread derail here. ;) and sorry for the rant...I just have a weird raw nerve about this subject.
 

Adasta

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[M]y experience is that the vast majority of Europeans (certainly including the British, if I may call them "European" for this example) loathe Americans with a vitriol I certainly never encountered in Canada, and think they're all utterly fake, shallow, stupid, ignorant, ad nauseam.

I'm not offended; you're absolutely right! I don't think I fall into this camp of people though. I have several American friends and it's obvious that a country that huge would have nice/smart/interesting people as well as slightly more undesirable characters. I think this sort of "hatred" occurs because it's easy to do. America is a world power now but most people can see its corrupt yet masquerades as a moral force for good. People displace the anger onto ordinary Americans which is unfair. Although I must say that this constant rhetoric of Europe being some sort of "failed socialist state" does irk me!

Yeah, I do live in London and customer service is generally awful. I know it's better outside London. Generally though I find customer service in Europe pretty poor (appalling in Eastern Europe etc, though I love those countries for other things.)

I know this is a very "British" thing to say but you really can't compare us with "continental Europe" in this regard! We're totally different. Trust me, my family are "true Europeans" (haha) and their manners really irritate me at times. Why can't they just queue and say "please" and "thank you"?

On another note, Canadians are really nice. Even when I went to Quebec, knowing of their antipathy towards anglophones, they were really nice, too. Although I do speak French so perhaps they were lenient towards me, even allowing for our colonial actions...
 

SilkRoad

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I'm not offended; you're absolutely right! I don't think I fall into this camp of people though. I have several American friends and it's obvious that a country that huge would have nice/smart/interesting people as well as slightly more undesirable characters. I think this sort of "hatred" occurs because it's easy to do. America is a world power now but most people can see its corrupt yet masquerades as a moral force for good. People displace the anger onto ordinary Americans which is unfair. Although I must say that this constant rhetoric of Europe being some sort of "failed socialist state" does irk me!



I know this is a very "British" thing to say but you really can't compare us with "continental Europe" in this regard! We're totally different. Trust me, my family are "true Europeans" (haha) and their manners really irritate me at times. Why can't they just queue and say "please" and "thank you"?

On another note, Canadians are really nice. Even when I went to Quebec, knowing of their antipathy towards anglophones, they were really nice, too. Although I do speak French so perhaps they were lenient towards me, even allowing for our colonial actions...

Ok, then you're off the hook regarding your attitude to Americans. ;) a balanced attitude is just something I have failed to find in too many Brits/Europeans! I absolutely agree with everything you say about why the America/American-bashing etc etc. And yeah, the "failed socialist state" thing is quite funny/ridiculous, on the other side. ;)

Yeah, I guess continental Europe is different in so many ways. Maybe there are too many continental Europeans living in London and my perceptions are skewed. ;) Though really, I generally love Europeans and Brits both...there are nice/nasty people in any group.

As for Canadians, yes, most people seem to like us and find us polite :D but...sometimes I suspect people just "like" us because we're pretty inoffensive, and we're supposedly sort of like Americans without the annoying aspects. :huh:
 
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