[MBTI General] wallowing

[the state i am in]

in your negative emotions/misery, etc.

do you do it? do you have conditions when you allow yourself to do it and others when you don't? did you stop doing it at a certain age? do you gain anything from it?

do you try to feel better and construct a strategy? how quickly does it take? does some negativity do you good?

 

[Moiety]

If you wallow and your honest and objective with yourself it can be cathartic and you can get answers at the end.

If you wallow and you lie to yourself and become too subjective in the analysis of your own thoughts and feelings you can literally turn ill.


Negativity doesn't do any good on it's own. But objectivity can work miracles.

 

[Tabula]

And doing this...

If you wallow and you lie to yourself and become too subjective in the analysis of your own thoughts and feelings you can literally turn ill.

...when you THINK you're doing this:

If you wallow and your honest and objective with yourself it can be cathartic and you can get answers at the end.

is absolutely toxic.

 

[Arclight]

I tend to let it wash over and engulf me.. But yeah, I always come out better for it.. Nothing teaches quite like pain.

I don't bring it to work and school and stuff.. well not totally.
Some days I guess people can tell.

I don't think I will ever outgrow it. It's never absolute, or hasn't been yet.

 

[Moiety]

And doing this...



...when you THINK you're doing this:



is absolutely toxic.

Yes. I think the difference lies in knowing the difference between what you want and what you need.

 

[Tabula]

...And/or between what you want [to be] and what you are. That's been my experience, anyhow. Still, as yet, I've not managed to definitively separate the two.

 

[mochajava]

The other thing to know about wallowing is that it ends. You can wallow, and then a few hours later, you'll be like, "oh, I guess it's over." So I don't think it can be really toxic. I'm thinking about the wallowing that involves TV, food, sleeping, relaxing, napping, laziness, novels... not the type that involves, like, heroin. That might be problematic? Anyway - after the wallowing is over - you can go on with strategizing or exercising or whatever it is you want to DO about the issue at hand.

 

[Noon]

Nothing teaches quite like pain.

One of the most unpleasant truths

 

[Such Irony]

do you do it?

sometimes

do you have conditions when you allow yourself to do it and others when you don't?

Mostly when I'm alone or with close family members if they can tolerate me in that state.

I try to avoid doing it at work as that would affect my productivity and I also work with the public and don't want them to see me wallowing.

did you stop doing it at a certain age?

No. I still do it now and then.

do you gain anything from it?

Yes and no. I think denying your feelings and acting like everything is ok when it isn't is not a healthy approach. Eventually the feelings will find a way to bite you in the back. On the other hand, I don't think its healthy to wallow too long either. Best to talk to people who know will be supportive or do a hobby or something you enjoy to pull yourself out of the state.

do you try to feel better and construct a strategy?

I can't force myself to feel good. I just have to let the bad feelings pass. When in the wallowing state I do try to avoid things that will make me feel even worse then I already do.

I construct strategies to avoid having the situation happen again or at least not have it happen as much (not always possible as there will always be disappointments, such is life), or to think about how to cope better the next time it happens

how quickly does it take?

It varies. It depends on what caused the wallowing state. Its been as short as a few minutes and as long as several days.

does some negativity do you good?

Just in small doses.

 

[cafe]

I allow myself to wallow a bit when something bad happens. I pull myself back together before it starts screwing stuff up in my life. Part of loving and caring for myself involves allowing myself the time I need to process the bad emotions that come from sucky things happening. Another part is not letting the slack I cut myself make my life worse and creating a bad cycle.