[NF] NF and the after effects of sex

[EnflamedHeartofSand]

Has anyone ever felt like they have given their all to someone? Been completely honest beyond the reach of words, with someone? Maybe even felt as if they had given their soul to someone else, through a sexual experience? If so, did you feel like your partner did the same? If not, how did it feel to be completely exposed, emptied of yourself, but not filled by the other?

 

[Arclight]

Has anyone ever felt like they have given their all to someone? Been completely honest beyond the reach of words, with someone? Maybe even felt as if they had given their soul to someone else, through a sexual experience? If so, did you feel like your partner did the same? If not, how did it feel to be completely exposed, emptied of yourself, but not filled by the other?

I only have that kind of sex after I think my soul is safe.
What I mean is we would already have had to connect on other levels before I would open up like that.

So the first part of your question is yes.
The second part might have happened .. But I don't seem to recall ever feeling exposed after sex for giving more than the other person.. I am pretty good at reading my partner anyway.. I like to lead, but I tend to let them set the mood. If they aren't going spiritual about things, neither will I

 

[prplchknz]

I don't relate to this thread at all.

 

[stringstheory]

I don't relate to this thread at all.

Honestly, neither do i.

well i mean i have felt like that, but definitely not through a sexual experience, i mostly do that through conversation.

 

[cafe]

I'm protective of my inner-self because I'm not resilient and sex, to me, is too vulnerable an event to engage in with someone I don't have a strong relationship/commitment with.

I don't really experience sex as a spiritual experience, though. It's more of the mutual satisfaction of a strong physical need.

It's just one part, albeit an important one, of life and of a relationship. Not a huge deal, really.

 

[figsfiggyfigs]

huh?? I honestly have no idea what you mean...

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

Nope. Sex is sex. I became emotionally attached once and a while, but I got over it quickly.

No one can have my soul. No one.

How did was it to feel exposed and emptied of myself? Uhm. I have no idea.

Even as a feeler.. I don't get other feelers sometimes. :/

Edit: I agree with Stringstheory. The only way someone can look into my soul (but not have) is through conversation. Deep conversation. And it takes a very, very large amount of trust for me to open up to the point of sharing my inner most thoughts and feelings.

 

[Lady_X]

i don't get how such a thing could happen without it being mutual.

are you saying you tried to connect and couldn't? did you feel used or something after? are you two in love and/or spirtitually connected otherwise?

 

[HotpinkHeatwave]

i don't get how such a thing could happen without it being mutual.

are you saying you tried to connect and couldn't? did you feel used or something after? are you two in love and/or spirtitually connected otherwise?

I can. One person cares, 'gives themselves up', and the other person.. Doesn't give a fuck. Simple as that.

 

[EnflamedHeartofSand]

Thanks for the feedback. I am speaking about a spiritual experience during sex, and I very much intend a sexual experience to be spiritual. It never is just sex. If it is, then what's the point really, might as well have it alone, without the complications of the other. I havn't had this experience yet, just wondering what it would be like, if it did happen that way, and I'm guessing that no one ever really has had it happen that way...I guess it was an unrealistic projection of what might happen.

 

[tortoise]

Has anyone ever felt like they have given their all to someone? Been completely honest beyond the reach of words, with someone? Maybe even felt as if they had given their soul to someone else, through a sexual experience? If so, did you feel like your partner did the same? If not, how did it feel to be completely exposed, emptied of yourself, but not filled by the other?

Yes, I can relate.

 

[EnflamedHeartofSand]

Yes, I can relate.

and? What did it feel like?

 

[Unkindloving]

I've recognized the full potential for this, but haven't had the opportunity to explore it.
My past experiences are riddled with another sort of empty feeling, but not the one that comes when the whole of one's self is shared. It's the empty feeling from not sharing the whole of one's self.
Otherwise, I've kept my full self to me. You can definitely do this even by kissing someone. It's the only experience that I can absolutely compare to what you're describing.
Personally, I find it easier to lose yourself in a kiss. You're less aware of you own vulnerability, likely because there doesn't seem to be vulnerability.

 

[Lady_X]

I can. One person cares, 'gives themselves up', and the other person.. Doesn't give a fuck. Simple as that.

Yeah I thought she meant for her it was this beautiful spiritual experience but not for her partner and for me it could only be experienced like that if it were shared..so I was confused but I get now it was just hypothetical so that makes more sense.

 

[phoenix13]

Has anyone ever felt like they have given their all to someone? Been completely honest beyond the reach of words, with someone? Maybe even felt as if they had given their soul to someone else, through a sexual experience? If so, did you feel like your partner did the same? If not, how did it feel to be completely exposed, emptied of yourself, but not filled by the other?

I completely relate to the sexual fantasy, but have never had this mystical experience IRL. From the other posts, I'm guessing it's only a fantasy, or extremely rare, indeed.

 

[EnflamedHeartofSand]

Yeah I thought she meant for her it was this beautiful spiritual experience but not for her partner and for me it could only be experienced like that if it were shared..so I was confused but I get now it was just hypothetical so that makes more sense.

Uhm, I'm a dude LadyX

 

[Thalassa]

Yes, I cried the last time I had sex with my ex. I knew it was going to be the last time, even though we didn't make it official. I think he started crying when we were playing Monopoly or something, but I started crying when we had sex. I don't always do that. It was a symbolic representation of EVERYTHING we had shared (we were togther, very intensely, for years) not just because of sex.

I think it's mistake to say that sex is always this deep, emotional thing, because it's not. Of course, perhaps because I am NF (or maybe this has nothing to do with it) I do always feel a certain connection or kindness toward the person I'm with. But that deep emotional connection you only have with certain people and it's based on other things, too.

It's difficult to articulate. I honestly, verbose as I am, have a difficult time articulating it.

 

[BRMC117]

To the OP, no. Before I was with someone I love sex was just sex.

 

[Lark]

I'm protective of my inner-self because I'm not resilient and sex, to me, is to vulnerable an event to engage in with someone I don't have a strong relationship/commitment with.

I don't really experience sex as a spiritual experience, though. It's more of the mutual satisfaction of a strong physical need.

It's just one part, albeit an important one, of life and of a relationship. Not a huge deal, really.

I'm not NF, I'm NT but this is my experience too.

Now I would say that this hasnt always been the case but it is the case now, when I was younger I had different expectations of sex, which tended to swing between the extremis of physical/recreational and spiritual/higher nature.

To be honest its part of the reason that I'm interested in the topic and also the various accounts that others, particularly younger people, make, I'm not convinced that following all the dramatic changes from repressed to entirely open that society has really got it right in terms of the messages it transmits about sex and how it helps to form peoples expectations.

That said its not succeeded in creating perfect mutual expectations in relation to life in general let alone sex.

 

[Totenkindly]

Has anyone ever felt like they have given their all to someone? Been completely honest beyond the reach of words, with someone? Maybe even felt as if they had given their soul to someone else, through a sexual experience? If so, did you feel like your partner did the same? If not, how did it feel to be completely exposed, emptied of yourself, but not filled by the other?

In case it helps (as some sort of "control" data or something -- to see what is NF and what is something other than that), I don't do the bolded part above unless my partner is already doing the same. And it's not something conscious I choose or not choose, it's just an organic unfolding from our relationship.

I've had sex that was just sex and sex just to satisfy a need, and it made me personally feel kind of dirty most of the time; I've also had sex that was a transcendent experience in alignment with the quoted paragraph.