[ENFJ] ENFJ in want of snuggles tonight

[Sparrow]

Not quite sure what it is. When I'm "single", I'm fine with not having snuggles very regularly. I just go get a massage or whatever and it's fine.

But man. Once I get "primed" with snuggles, I want them ALL the time. Especially when I'm used to getting them and then I'm not getting them for whatever reason (OK, I'll fess. The INTP is in cave-man mode this weekend). What gives?

WHAT?! That's an outrage!

Come over here and I'll snuggle you all you want. Goodness knows Domino is proabably weary of me huggling her all day. But, it's what I do.

I want in too! I love to snuggle! I am not a very affectionate person, don't like to be touched usually but when it comes to people I love, I WANNA SNUGGLE ALL DAY. I so miss snuggling.

Snuggle Fest 2010 at my house tommorow at 8pm, be there or be square...snugglers unite lol

Men... Pshhhh.

 

[Ulaes]

Funny, cuz last night I had this OVERWHELMING (bold/caps for emphasis! ) urge to hug the ENFJ in my life that I adore oh-so-much. It was probably a good thing the ENFJ wasn't in my vicinity, cuz if she was I probably would've suffocated said ENFJ in the depths of our hugglefest.

*clears throat* That aside...

So let's get this straight... are you looking for ways to drag your INTP out of his cave? Is that the intention of this thread?

>_< change your type already

 

[copperfish17]

>_< change your type already

Nah.

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

Snuggle Fest 2010 at my house tommorow at 8pm, be there or be square...snugglers unite lol

Men... Pshhhh.

 

[Nijntje]

A cat who really loves you won't ignore you when you're lonely or sad. That has always been my experience.

But I agree, they withdraw and withhold. On the other hand, I think dogs are excessively needy.

But about you. You should rent a dog, then.

Agreed.

I like the withdraw and withhold, not smothering with attention or need for attention....

But rent-a-dog is a worthy idea. Or if when you were single you used massages as substitute for cuddles, go for a massage?

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

Agreed.

I like the withdraw and withhold, not smothering with attention or need for attention....

But rent-a-dog is a worthy idea. Or if when you were single you used massages as substitute for cuddles, go for a massage?

Massages are expensive locally, and if I go to the cheap place I know, extremely time and fuel expensive.

 

[Nijntje]

Massages are expensive locally, and if I go to the cheap place I know, extremely time and fuel expensive.

NAWWW!! Do you have a girl-friend you could call for cuddles? I always call mine when i need a good cuddling on the couch and have no one to give them to me. I think her bf likes it because it always end up him getting cuddled by two girls =)

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

NAWWW!! Do you have a girl-friend you could call for cuddles? I always call mine when i need a good cuddling on the couch and have no one to give them to me. I think her bf likes it because it always end up him getting cuddled by two girls =)

Sadly enough, I don't have girlfriends I'm close enough to for that. (I'm an engineer, btw. If that gives you any idea of how hard it is to find girlfriends.)

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

So here is the update:

Tonight he called me (quite by my surprise) and asked me how my weekend went, etc. etc. He sounded very excited and happy to talk to me. He invited me out to dinner with him and some friends (one of whom is out-of-town) tomorrow night, and then told me he was really looking forward to our dance class (starts Thursday night) and then invited me to a football-game-watching party on Saturday.

Really quite confusing for me!

I don't know what the deal is with his weekend, because we were supposed to do something else and he canceled a week ago because he was going to have family in town. I didn't bring that up.

I mentioned it was nice to hear from him, and he said, "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. We can talk about it tomorrow." Huh? I thought the dreaded "let's talk about things" is typically a bad thing to hear. But he did sound really happy and pretty much wanted to book 3 dates in one week (which is unheard of for him).

I was very happy to hear from him, but now I'm just confused.

 

[copperfish17]

So here is the update:
...

I was very happy to hear from him, but now I'm just confused.

What exactly are you confused about? He obviously digs you, lots.

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

What exactly are you confused about? He obviously digs you, lots.

I guess I am confused with how he wanted all this time to himself and now he wants to talk on the phone and spend all this time with me. It's jarring to adjust to.

 

[Trentham]

I guess I am confused with how he wanted all this time to himself and now he wants to talk on the phone and spend all this time with me. It's jarring to adjust to.

Heh, not confusing at all. He got his requisite Man Cave Time, which recharged his social batteries and sated his need for solitary Ti. Now he remembers how awesome being with you is, and wants to make up for lost time.

/beentheredonethat

 

[Nijntje]

I guess I am confused with how he wanted all this time to himself and now he wants to talk on the phone and spend all this time with me. It's jarring to adjust to.

Ahhhhh. i'm not sure why but i was under the impression you lived together, the separation would indeed make it harder to accurately gauge his feelings/thoughts/intentions.

As someone who needs large quantities of time to themselves even when living with someone and always when in a relationship, just because the "alone" time is needed doesn't detract from the overall want to be with the significant other. I'm guessing he hasn't articulated any of this?

And it's taken me YEARS to find a female i feel comfortable enough with to have snugglebunnies on the couch with, and i'm *meant* to be the touchy feel-ie type =)

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

Heh, not confusing at all. He got his requisite Man Cave Time, which recharged his social batteries and sated his need for solitary Ti. Now he remembers how awesome being with you is, and wants to make up for lost time.

/beentheredonethat

LOL. I'm glad it's so obvious to you!

Ahhhhh. i'm not sure why but i was under the impression you lived together, the separation would indeed make it harder to accurately gauge his feelings/thoughts/intentions.

As someone who needs large quantities of time to themselves even when living with someone and always when in a relationship, just because the "alone" time is needed doesn't detract from the overall want to be with the significant other. I'm guessing he hasn't articulated any of this?

And it's taken me YEARS to find a female i feel comfortable enough with to have snugglebunnies on the couch with, and i'm *meant* to be the touchy feel-ie type =)

Oh. No, we don't live together. We've come close to having some sort of "relationship" talk but never really had it.

No, he hasn't articulated any of the relationship stuff to me. We've come close to having the relationship talk several times, but it always comes short and I don't want to force the issue.

 

[Trentham]

No, he hasn't articulated any of the relationship stuff to me. We've come close to having the relationship talk several times, but it always comes short and I don't want to force the issue.

INTPs don't like to state the obvious. We're also sometimes painfully unaware that something might not be as obvious to others as it is to us. In his mind, the two of you may already be in a relationship but he may not feel the need to verbally define it as such because to him it's "obvious" and self-evident.

And yes, we're all that confusing to deal with.

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

INTPs don't like to state the obvious. We're also sometimes painfully unaware that something might not be as obvious to others as it is to us. In his mind, the two of you may already be in a relationship but he may not feel the need to verbally define it as such because to him it's "obvious" and self-evident.

And yes, we're all that confusing to deal with.

LOL! How am I supposed to magically know what's so obvious to him?

 

[Trentham]

LOL! How am I supposed to magically know what's so obvious to him?

Flex that Ne! (it's hiding in there somewhere ) Also, it doesn't hurt to come right out and ask, especially if you phrase the discussion in a non-confrontational manner.

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

Flex that Ne! (it's hiding in there somewhere ) Also, it doesn't hurt to come right out and ask, especially if you phrase the discussion in a non-confrontational manner.

HAHAHAHAHA!

The reason why I haven't blatantly brought it up was because he seemed uncomfortable whenever the conversation went that direction.

The last time I told him I had feelings for him, he said, "How does that make you feel? Good, right?" Yet hasn't ever given up if he has feelings for me (which I suspect, but have no verbal confirmation).

 

[Trentham]

The last time I told him I had feelings for him, he said, "How does that make you feel? Good, right?" Yet hasn't ever given up if he has feelings for me (which I suspect, but have no verbal confirmation).

The fact that he asked such a pointed question about your feelings at least demonstrates that he cares about how you feel. That's a good sign! From my perspective it sounds as if he may just be uncomfortable verbalizing his emotional responses. Try to be patient and continue building that level of trust.

 

[ExAstrisSpes]

The fact that he asked such a pointed question about your feelings at least demonstrates that he cares about how you feel. That's a good sign! From my perspective it sounds as if he may just be uncomfortable verbalizing his emotional responses. Try to be patient and continue building that level of trust.