[Fe] See yourself as others see you?

[Froody Blue Gem]

I often wonder a lot how people view me, and if I like a person, I want to be their friend but am very awkward. If we have personalities that are compatible, friendship wise, it usually does happen sooner or later. I want to make the other people around me happy and am attuned or try to be attuned to the things of that nature and am very self-conscious and insecure. There are some people who have drastically different views on me and it boggles my mind when that is the case.

No, not everybody has to like me, that would be unrealistic, but sharing space with people who do not like me often puts my guard up and makes me really really anxious. I sometimes wonder with people who are not too clear with how they view me or see me. When sharing space with other people, I wonder about it a lot. I wish that I could read their mind, but in some ways, I think it would induce more anxiety and cause more harm than good if it was negative thoughts they were thinking about me.

 

[Population: 1]

Seeing myself through other people? That could prove to be amusing.

 

[Obfuscate]

i am curious, but i think it is likely for the best that i don't... i am self critical enough without adding new things to focus on...

 

[Zhaylin]

Is this a problem for people who use Fe?
As an INFP, I am painfully aware of how others view me. But, most of the time, they see me as I intend- in how I consciously project myself.
Because I have always been able to "read" people, I thought others could read me too. So, as a kid, I wouldn't even think negative thoughts about a person because I was afraid they'd be able to tell. When I got older, I learned about body language and micro-expressions and felt somewhat validated by my fears.

Because I need peace, whenever I'm in public, I'm always smiling (usually a crooked, goofy half-smile). I'm always friendly, approachable, and helpful because (I need peace, yes, but) I want others to view me that way.

Which is why I also relate to the quote:

... When you can forget about seeing yourself as others see you, you can start being yourself. After all then you tend to have the propensity to restrict and reframe yourself through others opinions of you when you become that self conscious. In a state of approval, what you are really doing is disconnecting from your self belief drive by attaching value towards what others see of you as you see of you, like a cracked polish to the mirroring that is going on.

Rather than seeing that you are coming across fine the way you are you are reflecting inner turmoil by accepting other peoples opinions as ad hominem. Linking values and beliefs of others towards yourself as your point of mistrust in expressing to your fullest extent your being...

I've unintentionally hurt people because they think we're close friends right away. When I disappear into myself, they're confused. Even family members have been confused: "You're not the person I thought you were!" While I am naturally kindhearted and willing to be there for people who need me, I'm not a person to "chill" with or do fun things with. I prefer to be by myself doing solitary things. I don't even care for a lot of conversation. I don't bond, though others feel bonded to me.

Others also see me as an attractive and sexual being, which I don't understand but usually recognize. Unless they just come out and immediately do something too obvious to ignore (wink, blow a kiss, make a pass, or make a verbal proclamation), I usually pretend to be oblivious.

I don't understand how people can NOT tell how others are thinking. Just be aware of your own body language and eye contact, then watch that of the other person. How are they acting? Do they avert their eyes? Look at their watch or the ground? Do they shift from foot to foot? Do busy-work?
If they avert their eyes, ask yourself why. Are they shy or distracted? Have they lied to you, or are they embarrassed or attracted to you?
If they look at their watch or the ground, are they running late, shy, bored?
It's just an investigative process of elimination and observation. Practice on people you know and observe your own habits. It gets easier with use.

 

[Peter Deadpan]

Actually, I weirdly want others to see me as the piece of shit that I really am.

Don't be like me.

 

[Maou]

I dont even know who I am to myself, let alone to others.