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[ENFJ] ENFJ Staring

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Glycerine

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I know this is going to sound really dumb but I have a slight problem with staring. Whenever I go into hard analysis, I seem to stare hardcore at things and people (Fe and Ni?). I don't realize until some stranger says "hi" or "can I help you?" I have had so many strangers respond to me this way. It happens to me multiple times a day. Occasionally, I have met eye contact with someone like 4+ in a 30 minute span (and of course, they had to be male). That's happened to me 3 times within the last two weeks. I get really paranoid about it. Do other ENFJs (or anyone else) have this lovely problem?
 
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Unkindloving

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:yes: I'm rarely called out for it, but I usually observe or stare at the people I'm interacting with at the time. It's rare that I'm alone, so I focus my attention and analysis toward the conversation I'm having.
There have been times where I know I'm pensively staring at someone longer than is acceptable. If they look at me, I'll just smile and switch my focus on something else. I'm pretty blunt though, so I'd just inform them were I confronted.

I definitely stare at my friends a lot, but they are used to it. It's like I'm examining their actions and expressions. It's also probably why I'm ridiculously good at recalling and mimicking their mannerisms. :huh:
 
G

Glycerine

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haha, it's JUST so hard not to stare....can't resist...CAN'T RESIST.
 

entropie

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Maybe this helps you, in german there's a saying, if someone says "Why do you stare at me for so long ?" you say "Are you afraid I can stare a thing away on your body ?" :D

Maybe that helps for the next countermeasures needed to be taken :D
 

alexx

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I read this and found it really interesting. I am not an ENFJ however I find myself staring quite often. The difference is - I stare at the wall or an object. I just go into almost a trance when analyzing something and almost "shut off" to reality for a while. I don't even see what I'm staring at - I just focus through it.

It's less as I get older, however as a child I remember doing it often.
 

skylights

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:laugh: i poke my enfj friend when she does this. it's the observation thing. data collecting and theorizing.

i stare at things sometimes too though, like alexx. i think it's weird NF spaciness. the difference seems to be that NFPs stare through and NFJs stare into. me, i'm not paying a damn shred of attention to what i'm looking at. i'm off somewhere far, far away
 

LadyJaye

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I AM A STARER. I love to stare at people. They're all just so interesting, and past a point, I realize I'm being rude, but I don't care enough to stop.
 

Arclight

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I stare at this monitor far too much.

Otherwise my eyes tend to dart around.

If it's a pretty lady, I never make it too obvious.. I will glance frequently rather than stare.
 
G

Glycerine

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Occasionally, I have met eye contact with someone like 4+ in a 30 minute span (and of course, they had to be male). That's happened to me 3 times within the last two weeks. I get really paranoid about it. Do other ENFJs (or anyone else) have this lovely problem?
I ended up accidentally staring at one of those guys again today. I have inadvertently stared at him numerous times. It usually goes like this: I am zoned out and he enters my peripheral vision and makes eye contact with me. It's creepy... I wish it didn't keep happening. :doh: He probably thinks I am a stalker..... lol
 

tibby

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Sometimes, when I talk to an ENFJ, she'll have this very specific kind of stare, very focused, intense, pure Ni, and I think it's so distinct because her usual mode is sort of... scattered. It's like she's in it then, absorbing everything. Can't really explain it. It's like a twinkle in her eyes. Very deep stare, very haunting, very piercing, in an absorbing kind of way.
 
G

Glycerine

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^ did it creep you out at first? I think what you described is my problem. I have a feeling most people (especially guys) are unnerved and intimidated by it. It's like "what, why are you looking at me that way?" I wish that I knew how to control it but it's just how I am so it's very hard to control.
 

Rebe

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I stare too when I admire someone/something - I don't think anyone's noticed but when I catch myself, I feel uncomfortable. I hate it when people stare at me.
 

Sparrow

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You know what's funny, when I become disinterested in a conversation I tend to break the stare and look away a lot. Like its uncomfortable to look in to their eyes or something. Do you do this too?
 
G

Glycerine

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I tend to look anywhere (like all around the room) but them so :yes: haha
 

ExAstrisSpes

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:laugh: i poke my enfj friend when she does this. it's the observation thing. data collecting and theorizing.

Sometimes I do this when I'm trying to figure something I see out. I'll find a little scene that no one else is paying attention to, and then I point it out to people. I love watching sparrows near restaurants for this. I once saw a sparrow work up the courage to sit in a left-out plate, just to snag a sweet potato fry.

I stare at this monitor far too much.

Sadly this.

I stare too when I admire someone/something

I only stare when I think I won't be stared back.

That said, I'm pretty oblivious when people are staring at me. If I wear the right outfit to work I can get a lot of double-takes and glances. (Apparently where I work, I have the best legs on the campus. Not sure if that's what I want to be known for!) I never catch anyone doing it, but my friends around me will notice and tell me. Usually guy friends. They'll be like, "Did you see that guy checking you out!?" It makes me uncomfortable, so I tend to not dress up as much as I might otherwise would.
 

Unkindloving

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You know what's funny, when I become disinterested in a conversation I tend to break the stare and look away a lot. Like its uncomfortable to look in to their eyes or something. Do you do this too?

Oh jeez. I'm so guilty of this. The worst is when they are making the conversation or overall mood uncomfortable and none of my useful little ENFJ pushes are working against it. I throw out indecisive one liners and resort to avoiding almost any eye contact.
 
G

Glycerine

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or say something really awkward to throw them off guard and shut them up. lol
 

nynesneg

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^^ Haha! Love hearing your perspectives.


Do you frequently lose your train of thought if you try to talk about something you feel very strongly about?


On a further separate note about staring...

My god. The intensity that occurs from prolonged eye contact with someone you know... it's as if you can reach into their very soul and touch it, inhale it. Can be overpoweringly good and bad. You've felt this?
 
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