[ENFP] ENFP struggles with her mediocrity / generalist-ness

[revolve]

so we Enfps are pretty ok at a whole lotta stuff but not excellent (usually) at one particular thing . . . right??? but i think many of us desire to excel at one thing that we love . . . so that we can become very very good at it & maybe someday achieve some type of recognition & / or actually have some focus / direction for once . . . anyways . . . this is something that i have struggled with for many many years . . . and myers briggs & enneagram have helped me immensely . . . to see the light (so to speak) but also make me still go hhmmm because i see it this way:

writing: i could never compete with INFPs

art: i could never compete with ISFPs, INFPs

comedy: i could never compete with ENTPs

education / teaching: i could never compete with ENFJs

Philosophy: i could never compete with INTPs

counseling / therapy: i could never compete with INFJs

and the list goes on & on & on & on

OK, so i'm not hatin' on my type . . . i just don't know what i'm good at really . . . ever . . . and i guess sometimes i feel like why bother pursuing anything if i'm just going to be mediocre at it . . .

so what are ENFPs naturally good at? naturally skilled at? Cuz bein' a goofy dork only gets ya' so far . . . .

 

[Chloe]

ENFPs are the best in bullshitting, imo. it's a great skill and you should put it in use.

ENFPs are life "generalists" not "specialists" that's gift too.



i am naturaly good at math. that's the thing that i have crazy talent for, but i cant use it bc it bores me, i lack interest completely, so that's frustrating too. After that I am on the similar boat as you.

ENFPs should do a job with juggling with many things... for example I have no particular interest but I'd like to do something like organisational development/change where I can make things happen, change some organisations.. it'd give enough diversity and above interests in something particular i am interested in change. dynamic.

I really really like Jack Flak's task theory, that's what would bring every type to social satisfaction.
but in short:

Social functions/means of social satisfaction, with specific focus on actual activities of individuals (As opposed to end-results):

INTP: Creation/provision of very unique logical ideas
ENTP: Creation/provision of logical ideas which are likely to be employed
INFP: Embodiment of moral "nobility"
ENFP: Advisement on meaning and purpose

 

[Rebe]

i think that attitude of yours is the only thing that can't compete
natural talent can only get you so far
the rest is hard work, persistence, confidence and keep trying even when you fail
choose something you love and do it, if it's someone else's domain, you just have to work harder
it's not simple or easy to accomplish, but you need to have faith in yourself at the very least

:workout:

 

[skylights]

good thread title. i relate.

ENFPs are the best in bullshitting, imo. it's a great skill and you should put it in use.

ENFPs are life "generalists" not "specialists" that's gift too.

both very true.

and to be less ridiculous about it for a moment, i think we are excellent communicators in that we cross boundaries that others can, or will, not. because of light interest, i can understand scientific jargon, but i also get annoyed at it and can easily translate it into regular-person speak. and that goes for many, many other areas of interest as well. we have a gift for overcoming boundaries.

ENFP: Advisement on meaning and purpose

and advertisement of meaning and purpose

honestly, i think you can do anything you want, but the key is that you will not necessarily be good at it in the way those other types will be good at it. you may not have the emotional depth of an INFP writer, but you may better be able to be all-encompassing and reach out to more audiences. in art, you may not have the focus of IFPs, but again, you may be able to connect with a greater range of people. the gift of E is that you interact with the outside world more and thus have a better sense of what it's like and what it needs. i've debated often with my NTP family members about technical stuff, and they are brilliant yet they often forget the fuzzy, humanistic, illogical elements of things.

so what i'm saying, is be good at what you want to be good at, and play your letters that don't correlate to your advantage. they say med schools nowadays are looking more for majors outside the traditional biology and chemistry disciplines because it helps doctors be more well-rounded. so be that well-rounded person. be the outgoing therapist. be the comedian who's attuned to how people feel inside. be the scientist who's able to see outside the academic bubble.

of course, that all said, i have the most trouble figuring out what i would like to do because i'm not sure what i'd be happiest doing. i tend to like everything.

 

[Amargith]

I feel ya and share your pain.

I've decided to take on INFJs and see if I could excell as a psychologist.
I've also decided to, atm, take advantage of the language skills I have and, although I aint an INFP, I've started writing (internet pages and blogs mostly). I think ENFPs could excell at that coz we actually do/think/concoct some batshit crazy stuff people wanna read about, we're not *bad* at writing, and it can be interactive with an audience if you manage to get one coz you're good enough (whereas INFPs tend to be really good at the whole fiction-fantasy-novel-thing), which appeals to our 'entertaining/performing' side.

No clue if I'll be able to make it, concentrate hard enough to not be distracted by a new shiny and actually finish the project but hey...it's worth a shot.

 

[Vamp]

I don't want to be good at bullshitting.
I also don't want to be a "jack of all trades, master of none" or a generalist. That may be "enfp" but that's not "me" or what I want. I want to be good at something. Anything.

 

[angelhair45]

I don't want to be good at bullshitting.
I also don't want to be a "jack of all trades, master of none" or a generalist. That may be "enfp" but that's not "me" or what I want. I want to be good at something. Anything.

I prefer Renissance woman to "jack of all trades, master of none".

I actually like being well rounded. I feel like I am really good at most things I try. Is it common for ENFPs to feel like they aren't good at anything? Am I arrogant? Maybe I am and ENTP

 

[Thalassa]

I don't want to be good at bullshitting.
I also don't want to be a "jack of all trades, master of none" or a generalist. That may be "enfp" but that's not "me" or what I want. I want to be good at something. Anything.

Bullshitting can be made into a way to make money.

then in your free time you can build relationships and "advise other people on meaning and purpose"

Maybe the purpose ENFPs serve most strongly isn't necessarily tied to career.

Of course, you could always do what you love. I do feel the frustration of the OP, though...or at least I did until a few months ago when I said "fuck it."

 

[stalemate]

I prefer Renissance woman to "jack of all trades, master of none".

I actually like being well rounded. I feel like I am really good at most things I try. Is it common for ENFPs to feel like they aren't good at anything? Am I arrogant? Maybe I am and ENTP

I feel the same as you.

 

[skylights]

I feel the same as you.

I don't want to be good at bullshitting.
I also don't want to be a "jack of all trades, master of none" or a generalist. That may be "enfp" but that's not "me" or what I want. I want to be good at something. Anything.

so choose something and get cracking. no one's stopping you but yourself.

 

[Lady_X]

i know what ya mean...i've discovered i'm good at portrait photography simply because i'm good with people...i'm not great at photography...not the really cool kind that i love...not yet anyway...but getting those great expressions...getting people to warm up and feel at ease and good about themselves...that i can do...it's hard figuring out what your special thing is....but i think enfps are good with people so any work that has to do with using that skill is good i think...we'll shine there and have to work extra hard on the other stuff that's harder for us...like me and photography...sales is part of it and to be honest my fi has an issue with that...because i don't want anything from anyone they don't want to give...i just don't...i don't wanna talk you into it or use any sort of trickery...i'll just do my thing and if ya like it and want it..awesome...so...that kind of sucks for me.

 

[alcea rosea]

ENFP's are good with people, good in understanding people and good in getting to other people's shoes. It's a curse and a blessing.

 

[Vamp]

so choose something and get cracking. no one's stopping you but yourself.

I am doing something. I chose the least boring of the options available to me. I guess I'm more interested in massage therapy => fitness and health => personal training than anything else available to me. Even English. I'm just doing it because it's not a sedentary job and since I'm not good at music or art being an "artist" is out of my reach and these are the most exciting options available. I can make money off it, it's not my passion but it'll do for now. I was forced to pick something to study and this is the only thing that could possibly work out. It's not what I want, tho.

The one thing I have a passion about isn't exactly feasible and since there's no future in it the injuries one could accumulate over it prevent a stable life later on.

Bullshitting can be made into a way to make money.

I know that but the way I'm good at bullshitting isn't exactly legal in this state. And I really don't want to move to Nevada just for that.

 

[Thalassa]

The one thing I have a passion about isn't exactly feasible and since there's no future in it the injuries one could accumulate over it prevent a stable life later on.

What's that?

I know that but the way I'm good at bullshitting isn't exactly legal in this state. And I really don't want to move to Nevada just for that.

Stripping. Web cam. Both are legal.

 

[Vamp]

Stripping. Web cam. Both are legal.

I actually asked a friend I'd met online to build me a website to host my cam on. I never even got a webcam but another friend did sent me a mouse and some more memory. I guess I'm good enough with people to get free stuff.

I'd need a breast enlargement surgery before I could be a stripper and that's just more money I don't have. Now that I'm back in school (and living with mom: she's too nosy) I'm not too keen on the whorehouse style of massage so I'll probably just bullshit one or two guys.

 

[Thalassa]

I actually asked a friend I'd met online to build me a website to host my cam on. I never even got a webcam but another friend did sent me a mouse and some more memory. I guess I'm good enough with people to get free stuff.

I'd need a breast enlargement surgery before I could be a stripper and that's just more money I don't have. Now that I'm back in school (and living with mom: she's too nosy) I'm not too keen on the whorehouse style of massage so I'll probably just bullshit one or two guys.

Actually there are web sites that will hire you to work from home, or you can work in a studio.

You don't have to have breast enlargement to be a stripper, either.

You just want a sugar daddy, though, don't you?

 

[Vamp]

Actually there are web sites that will hire you to work from home, or you can work in a studio.

You don't have to have breast enlargement to be a stripper, either.

You just want a sugar daddy, though, don't you?

Get out of my head!

Well, yes and no. :blushing: I totally wouldn't mind it but if I could find a sugar daddy, I'd have to answer to them.

I rethink my stance on this. When I graduated highschool I wanted to major in everything, I guess I'll go back to that mindset. For me, wanting to be good at one thing and having that one thing to point to is a little bit of peer pressure.

I didn't know about the different options for cam-girling. I'm ignorant on ways to go about it.

The only reason I brought up breast enlargement is because I'm not comfortable with having really small ones when people are paying to see them, especially in a massive mammary dominated business like sex. Small breasts are an acquired taste only a few men out of thousands like but big tits are always welcome. That whole thing is an area of low self esteem with me and hindrance to my whore ways.

 

[Thalassa]

Get out of my head!

Well, yes and no. :blushing: I totally wouldn't mind it but if I could find a sugar daddy, I'd have to answer to them.

I wouldn't want one. Dancing and stuff is a whole different ballgame, because it can be fun. Having a sugar daddy though...that seems like faking love...and I just can't do that. I have this personality where I want to be dominated, but I have to CHOOSE the person who is allowed to do it...I can't just play passive with someone I'm not in love with. I can't fake love, and I would feel too controlled (trapped...help...suffocating...) to constantly be submitting myself to one individual that I didn't have genuine feelings for. I also wouldn't place priority on money over having a real relationship. I'd be afraid it would interfere with me having a REAL boyfriend/lover/husband.

Does that resonate with you, or no?

I rethink my stance on this. When I graduated highschool I wanted to major in everything, I guess I'll go back to that mindset. For me, wanting to be good at one thing and having that one thing to point to is a little bit of peer pressure.

I didn't know about the different options for cam-girling. I'm ignorant on ways to go about it.

I can give you info on it if you want it. PM me.

The only reason I brought up breast enlargement is because I'm not comfortable with having really small ones when people are paying to see them. Small breasts are an acquired taste but big tits are always welcome. That whole thing is an area of low self esteem with me and my whore ways.

Some men like small breasts, especially if you are a smaller or thin woman, which I've seen you say that you are.

 

[Chloe]

this is how my career search looks like: go to med school.stick 1year,drop out, 3 months later i am bored and miss feeling intellectual or feeling like i am learning something and progressing, i go back.after 1 year i am again bored and hate it and i am about to drop out.
in the mean time i also went to mathematics, after 2 days i drop out figuring i dont love math.
:/

anyone messed up more than me?

 

[Thalassa]

this is how my career search looks like: go to med school.stick 1year,drop out, 3 months later i am bored and miss feeling intellectual or feeling like i am learning something and progressing, i go back.after 1 year i am again bored and hate it and i am about to drop out.
in the mean time i also went to mathematics, after 2 days i drop out figuring i dont love math.
:/

anyone messed up more than me?

Yes. I went to college for 3 1/2 years, have a 3.9 GPA, decided that I hated my life and had no idea what I actually was doing in college, and suddenly withdrew.

I'm considering going back to school for history when I become a resident of California (cheaper tuition) but I dunno.