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[MBTI General] Shallowness in xNFPs...

TheEmeraldCanopy

New member
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Jan 4, 2009
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280
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
How might "shallowness" come across to someone else? How is it defined?

How/ when might an xNFP be considered shallow?

Just wondering. Your thoughts, please?
 

FalseHeartDothKnow

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Nov 20, 2009
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279
MBTI Type
INFP
Hmmm, some XNFPs are very easily distracted which could come off as a kind of fickle attitude towards everything that isn't a core interest to more focused types.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
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INFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
  • we can hold several different beliefs at once, or at least see the value in perspectives even if they are diametrically opposed, and others can see it as contradictory and therefore not genuine or deep.

  • we - at least ENFPs - generally tend towards light and silly stuff on the surface. and we like FUN. somehow many very strange people believe that fun and serious are incompatible. however, there is no reason why i cannot ride the grocery cart at the store and trade stock and ponder the mystery of death all on the same day.

  • similarly, we - probably more ENFP again - tend to be happy and bouncy. many people, notably NFJs (no offense NFJs, it's just been a pattern in my life), can make the mistake of believing this means that we do not see anything bad in the world. we do. but being down about it doesn't help fix anything.

  • we just seem all over the place with our interests, and people assume this means we're not deeply interested in things.

it's rather frustrating sometimes, actually. because i feel like it's always based off of assumptions. people don't see something, so they assume it's not there. i'm not saying they should assume it is, but simply keep the possibility open.
 

Coco

Member
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Aug 8, 2010
Messages
271
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ENTP
Enneagram
7
I changed my mind again. x_x
Forget this post :eek:
 
Last edited:

stringstheory

THIS bitch
Joined
Jul 12, 2009
Messages
923
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ENFP
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1
Hmmm, some XNFPs are very easily distracted which could come off as a kind of fickle attitude towards everything that isn't a core interest to more focused types.

yeah this....i get accused of this by people that don't really know me that well because i have a whole lot of different interests.
 

boondocked

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Mar 27, 2009
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110
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NP
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4w3
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sx/so
  • we can hold several different beliefs at once, or at least see the value in perspectives even if they are diametrically opposed, and others can see it as contradictory and therefore not genuine or deep.

  • we - at least ENFPs - generally tend towards light and silly stuff on the surface. and we like FUN. somehow many very strange people believe that fun and serious are incompatible. however, there is no reason why i cannot ride the grocery cart at the store and trade stock and ponder the mystery of death all on the same day.

  • similarly, we - probably more ENFP again - tend to be happy and bouncy. many people, notably NFJs (no offense NFJs, it's just been a pattern in my life), can make the mistake of believing this means that we do not see anything bad in the world. we do. but being down about it doesn't help fix anything.

  • we just seem all over the place with our interests, and people assume this means we're not deeply interested in things.

it's rather frustrating sometimes, actually. because i feel like it's always based off of assumptions. people don't see something, so they assume it's not there. i'm not saying they should assume it is, but simply keep the possibility open.

Good post. I'd second everything here and also add that:

* I've been mistaken for a ditz many times because common sense escapes me. For some reason, people have mistaken this flightiness, this bird-brainedness as shallowness. Like, 'if she can't keep her attention on even the most basic things, how could she keep her attention on the bigger things.' I dunno. It's weird. Maybe other xNFPs have had this experience too?

* For my ENFP self and a few of my INFP friends, beauty matters. I suppose it's because we tend towards the ideal, and beauty is ideal? Now, I don't think we understand the whole trendy clothes/shoes thing, but a lot of us are very into personal adornment. I could see how that would read as shallow.

* I truly believe that some xNFPs are shallow. That it's less a type thing, more a trait thing. I don't buy that we all have some deeply spiritual core just because we're intuitive feelers. For instance, I love pop culture. I love to discover the patterns in it and I love to (for instance) try and predict what TV shows will be popular and why. But this fixation with what's trendy is probably shallow. I just take it in a more intuitive direction than people expect a pop culture lover to? :shock:
 

Chloe

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May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
How might "shallowness" come across to someone else? How is it defined?

How/ when might an xNFP be considered shallow?

Just wondering. Your thoughts, please?

i think enfps might seem shallow as all EPs, and infps might seem shallow more in a way of not caring for others, not really shallow more uncaring.

whole my life i am encountering people who are very surprised when they find out that i am very talented for math, bc i laugh a lot and joke a lot and often dont look very smart :D
 

angell_m

Permabanned
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Jul 6, 2010
Messages
818
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IxFx
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5w4
guys are just as shallow as anyoen else
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
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INFP
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sp/sx
Good post. I'd second everything here and also add that:

* I've been mistaken for a ditz many times because common sense escapes me. For some reason, people have mistaken this flightiness, this bird-brainedness as shallowness. Like, 'if she can't keep her attention on even the most basic things, how could she keep her attention on the bigger things.' I dunno. It's weird. Maybe other xNFPs have had this experience too?

* For my ENFP self and a few of my INFP friends, beauty matters. I suppose it's because we tend towards the ideal, and beauty is ideal? Now, I don't think we understand the whole trendy clothes/shoes thing, but a lot of us are very into personal adornment. I could see how that would read as shallow.

I particularly relate to the second one. I idealize beauty & see value in aesthetics, and I suppose my interest & efforts in that area may seem shallow to some. It may even be in danger of becoming outright shallow at times...

I can also seem "spacey". Combined with the attention to aesthetics, and it can make people think you're a bit of an airhead. I always find this amusing though, because I'm so terribly bookish.

Another way I see some INFPs being "shallow" is over-identifying with their interests & tastes (ie. taste in music). It's an elitist attitude that basically judges other people with rather frivolous criteria. It's because the INFP has begun to associate their tastes with who they are, just as they consider their feeling-values a part of their identity. <---- and yeah, I've been guilty of that. :ninja:
 

thinkling

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Sep 20, 2010
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3
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INFP
I don't know if people view me as shallow often (could be -- I can be clueless), but some of what boondocked and others wrote rings true for me:

* Beauty/aesthetics are really really important to me. Not so much with people and not necessarily in a "traditional" sense, but with my environment, the items I interact with daily, need to be beautiful. Sometimes, a new brooch IS a reason to get up in the morning.

* There is very little that I'm not (passionately) interested in in some way. I have a tendency towards way too much jack-of-all-tradesness and end up with shallow or random knowledge (and even more questions/theories) in a lot of subjects.

* If I'm being candid, as with very close friends, I can pass random and seemingly shallow judgment about others' choices (for example, single occupancy vehicles). Usually this just reflects an overwhelming frustration with apathy. Sometimes, however, I have bizarre criteria for making or narrowing or explaining choices (sorry--couldn't date him because he is against the serial comma). It's usually to keep indecision at bay, but sometimes becomes shorthand for a whole host of things that are harder/more sensitive for me to articulate (his attitude towards the serial comma was a part of an overall apathy towards the world outside his narrow interests).

* I don't really have a ton of stick-to-it-ness when it comes to things/goals. People, yes. But goals are guidelines and circumstances change and I'm not really one for finishing things completely anyhow. This might read as being flighty/shallow?
 

William K

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Aug 13, 2009
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* I don't really have a ton of stick-to-it-ness when it comes to things/goals. People, yes. But goals are guidelines and circumstances change and I'm not really one for finishing things completely anyhow. This might read as being flighty/shallow?

Yeah, I also tend to have a "Why plan when things change constantly?" attitude and this can be interpreted as too flighty or not ambitious enough. Just because I'm laid-back most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a big idealistic goal. I'm just not as gung-ho in a single-minded way toward achieving it.
 

Thessaly

I drink your milkshake.
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xNFP
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3w4
NPs can be a bit too hasty to end relations and cut people out of their lives. We're impulsive and not solid long term thinkers when it comes to processing those judgment calls.

I think this is pretty much where our shallowness lies. In our impulsive behaviors and randomness. We're scatterbrainz.
 

skylights

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* For some reason, people have mistaken this flightiness, this bird-brainedness as shallowness. Like, 'if she can't keep her attention on even the most basic things, how could she keep her attention on the bigger things.' I dunno. It's weird. Maybe other xNFPs have had this experience too?

yes. i can understand relativity just fine but god damn if i didn't lose my car keys for the 4th time this week.

beauty matters. I suppose it's because we tend towards the ideal, and beauty is ideal? Now, I don't think we understand the whole trendy clothes/shoes thing, but a lot of us are very into personal adornment. I could see how that would read as shallow.

me too! i can also be very quick to judge on aesthetics, which runs contradictory to most other realms of my life, where i am quite open about things. but man, aesthetics. that is one area where i know exactly what i'm doing.

Just because I'm laid-back most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a big idealistic goal. I'm just not as gung-ho in a single-minded way toward achieving it.

right, exactly. and sometimes you see these amazing J plans get a little hole in them and J people FREAK OUT. and you're just like, hold up, chill out, i got this. which is why a P and a J make a great team, of course.

NPs can be a bit too hasty to end relations and cut people out of their lives.

i actually really don't do this. :thinking: am i odd NFP out here?
 

Chloe

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^^^I dont do it either. I could have stockholm syndrome, actually. Loyal as fuck
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
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May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
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INFP
Yeah, I also tend to have a "Why plan when things change constantly?" attitude and this can be interpreted as too flighty or not ambitious enough. Just because I'm laid-back most of the time doesn't mean I don't have a big idealistic goal. I'm just not as gung-ho in a single-minded way toward achieving it.

This is definitely a big one for me. I think people probably think I have no idea where I am going, since I can't draw a map there.

NPs can be a bit too hasty to end relations and cut people out of their lives. We're impulsive and not solid long term thinkers when it comes to processing those judgment calls.

I think this is pretty much where our shallowness lies. In our impulsive behaviors and randomness. We're scatterbrainz.

Sometimes I do that. It's not random, but how am I to explain it to anyone..? Usually it just feels like I have to get rid of extra weight. Sounds cruel...
 

angelhair45

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Jun 15, 2010
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ENFP
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7w6
I've never been accused of being shallow (though I have been in the past at times in regards to dating) In fact most of my life I've been accused of being too deep by sensors. I don't really see the shallow NFP connection that others see.
 

animenagai

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Aug 22, 2008
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I've never been accused of being shallow (

Me neither :shrug:

I've been called stupid, dipsy etc. but never shallow. I do make dirty jokes all the time though, so maybe people think it and just choose to not say anything. They are only jokes of course and don't mean anything. I tend to think that other people are shallow myself rather than the other way round. This happens even if we're talking about the most conceptual topics. I often think people oversimplify a problem.
 
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