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[MBTI General] Difference Between INFPs and ISFPs

Noon

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
790
Why exactly are these types so different? I think I notice it a lot, but I still can't figure out why.

I've recently began speaking more closely with an INFP (well I have typed her so, although it's not been self-confirmed) and she seems less aimless, less cautious, more outspoken, more quick to stand up for her rights, much less flexible in her sense of self, and not as visibly sensitive (yet still crazy understanding and willing to forgive easily). Overall, she seems much more sure of herself. I only learned about how much things like criticism and disapproval really affect her when she self-disclosed it during discussions, and I was very surprised. At times we seem worlds apart, although we still connect to each other through our outlook on the world (in terms of Feeling) and things we hope to accomplish in life, and that is always an energizing experience. I feel understood. Unlike with the IFJs I know, there are rarely any complaints about the discussion not going beyond a personal level.

On a totally different note, I have a good friend who is ISFP, almost a complete turn around from the INFP above, and we get on extremely well. About the only glaring differences are that she is far more optimistic and pleasant. We are both more confrontation avoidant, more apt to tolerate a problem longer before we fix it, more vague about our opinions, and we both show our sensitivity more. The differences between ourselves and the INFP can be so pronounced that it makes me wonder if both I and she are actually ISFJs (even though there are many factors that simply do not fit) rather than Fi types.

However, these kinds of differences tend to be reinforced by online descriptions. Is it that Se-Ni and Ne-Si really do make that big of a difference, or have I simply mistyped the first girl?
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It makes a difference, and enneagram plays a big role. You & your ISFP friend sound like 9s to me, and the INFP sounds like a 4 or 5.
 

Noon

New member
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
790
It makes a difference, and enneagram plays a big role. You & your ISFP friend sound like 9s to me, and the INFP sounds like a 4 or 5.

I was afraid so...

I can't seem to trust that system much but it's feeling more and more like I only get half of the story without it.

On the other hand, it is interesting to see the difference between 4 type feeling and 9 type feeling in action. The ISFP is a self-confirmed 9, but I have no idea what I am. At least now I know as best as I can that I am definitely not a 4, though.

edit: Where does the difference caused by functions/temperament end (or where does the difference caused by enneagram begin)?
Is there anywhere that explains it well that I should go to to read about it? Sorry to be a pain.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
I've recently began speaking more closely with an INFP (well I have typed her so, although it's not been self-confirmed) and she seems less aimless, less cautious, more outspoken, more quick to stand up for her rights, much less flexible in her sense of self, and not as visibly sensitive (yet still crazy understanding and willing to forgive easily). Overall, she seems much more sure of herself. I only learned about how much things like criticism and disapproval really affect her when she self-disclosed it during discussions, and I was very surprised. At times we seem worlds apart, although we still connect to each other through our outlook on the world (in terms of Feeling) and things we hope to accomplish in life, and that is always an energizing experience. I feel understood. Unlike with the IFJs I know, there are rarely any complaints about the discussion not going beyond a personal level.

It is an interesting question. I haven't really paid attention to it, though I should have... I see a lot more in common with INFJs and ENFPs, or even with an ENFJ, than with an ISFP. It is strange. Either there is a bigger difference between these types, or I am valuing N more than S. I don't know, honestly.

The ISFP I know seems usually very shut... I've lived with him in the same commune, so I basically get him, but still... he is a lot more introverted than I am. Still, there is something there that makes it somehow comfortable... even if he isn't saying anything, it still seems like it's ok. There are people who think he's an asshole for keeping to himself in certain situations, but I kinda think they are missing the point. He is being an asshole by keeping quiet in a situation where people are waiting for a response. This is not all his fault. I can see that part of it is, but still, it isn't like he is deliberately rude. He's just somehow unable to reply. It's strange.

The things we usually talk about are some design stuff. He is like a god when he's animating stuff, and I'm sure he trusts my sense of graphic design, so, the couple of collaborations we've had were pretty awesome. If we're not talking about this, then I usually kinda adapt to his territory, which is his interest in history and other cultures. The style of communication may differ, but I think it's still somehow very interesting since he is quite knowledgeable in that stuff, so I often get some new stuff to look up.

I don't know... It's really strange that I can't see myself being him. I know my N is very high according to these online tests, but I don't really trust them too much, so I find it weird that I can see myself being any NF type instead of being an ISFP...
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
. This is not all his fault. I can see that part of it is, but still, it isn't like he is deliberately rude. He's just somehow unable to reply. It's strange.

Stop describing me! :D
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Tell me, what is the deal with that? I know it is causing a lot trouble to my friend so, I would be kinda interested in knowing where it comes from... You wouldn't know how angry some people can get with someone who doesn't answer a question...
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Hah just kidding!

I wish I knew myself, I'm basically socially awkward all round. Sometimes I have this urge that no response at all is better than the wrong response. It's not like I ignore questions completely but I often just answer the question in it's most basic way and offer no elaboration, I have no idea why.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Sometimes I have this urge that no response at all is better than the wrong response. It's not like I ignore questions completely but I often just answer the question in it's most basic way and offer no elaboration, I have no idea why.

Hah! You know, this friend of mine did exactly that. No response at all. He was just eating a sandwich. And it was a straight question, something about some practical matter, like, "when do you think this thing could be ready". The question was repeated a couple of times, even... And, whew, the stuff I hear about this one incident... my SJ friend still keeps talking about it...
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
ohh. wait.

i once had a classmate who did that. i'm not sure if he was INFP or ISFP, but it drove my prof INSANE. we'd have a roundtable where each of us was expected to share an answer, and of course all the extraverts would usually go first, then the introverts, then finally she would have to call on the last few. and sometimes this one kid would just sit there. and like, not say anything. our prof was a ridiculously tightly wound e1 and WANTED him to share like everyone else and she would just wait impatiently and emote a really high level of aggravation. and eventually either he would say something really brief, or say something of suitable length that was totally appropriate and smart.

it's a curious thing to me, since i typically always have more to say, lol.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Yeah that sounds like me too, I'm terrible in groups, I have to be prompted heaps. I'd like to figure out why I'm like that.
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
MBTI Type
XNFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My ISFP BFF and I are sort of similar. He is far more optimistic than me, and far more present in his immediate enviroment than I am. He loves dancing, and all that stuff, and is a much more tactile person than me. He teases me about my conspiracy theories, and ridiculous theories, and how at parties I always end up where the brainy people are, shooting off one of my mad cap theories.
He's much more down to earth, but we are both really silly. God, he makes me laugh. We are both really "arty" though. He's more tolerant and mellow than I am, but when he cracks he really goes to town, where as I just fizz and fume, then it's over. He's kinda naive some times about people (that's an age thing I think), and some times gets take advantage of, because he's so mellow and easy going. It annoys me, that people mistake him for an easy target. He's a bit more lovable than me too. Every one loves him. He can some times be less driven than I am (and whinge more), then he'll decide to do some thing and it's like some one lit a fire up his ass.
 

Synapse

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
3,359
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4
More sensory, less abstract.

Eg.
...bachelor ISFP, enjoys the strip club far too much.
...bachelor INFP, me gets dragged to a strip club and starts wondering the psychology behind why the ladies would want to strip.

He keeps going out of lonelieness
While I don't see the point.

He goes boobies!

And I say your only going because your filling a void and that is unhealthy. In order to fill a void your substituting visual stimulation for intimacy and as such you are deluding yourself that you are going to feel good about spending your time at a strip club. The longer you do it the more you'll realise the void.

He goes, huh, wtf?

I go, nvm!
 

William K

Uniqueorn
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
986
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
More sensory, less abstract.

Eg.
...bachelor ISFP, enjoys the strip club far too much.
...bachelor INFP, me gets dragged to a strip club and starts wondering the psychology behind why the ladies would want to strip.

He keeps going out of lonelieness
While I don't see the point.

He goes boobies!

And I say your only going because your filling a void and that is unhealthy. In order to fill a void your substituting visual stimulation for intimacy and as such you are deluding yourself that you are going to feel good about spending your time at a strip club. The longer you do it the more you'll realise the void.

He goes, huh, wtf?

I go, nvm!

I guess he got lost in all your psychobooble talk :D
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
More sensory, less abstract.

Eg.
...bachelor ISFP, enjoys the strip club far too much.
...bachelor INFP, me gets dragged to a strip club and starts wondering the psychology behind why the ladies would want to strip.

He keeps going out of lonelieness
While I don't see the point.

He goes boobies!

And I say your only going because your filling a void and that is unhealthy. In order to fill a void your substituting visual stimulation for intimacy and as such you are deluding yourself that you are going to feel good about spending your time at a strip club. The longer you do it the more you'll realise the void.

He goes, huh, wtf?

I go, nvm!


Really? Do you seriously think this is relevant? You think Ns never look at porn or go to strip clubs?

What about an NFP who has worked in the adult industry? Are you able to wrap your head around that?

I've been told that I have a "sensuality" about me for an NFP and there are people (mostly people who know absolute ZERO about me) who think I'm SFP, but I'm telling you, there are NFs who strip. Or do porn. Or whatever.

I don't like your analogy. I find it absurd.
 

Synapse

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
3,359
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INFP
Enneagram
4
Really? Do you seriously think this is relevant? You think Ns never look at porn or go to strip clubs?

What about an NFP who has worked in the adult industry? Are you able to wrap your head around that?

I've been told that I have a "sensuality" about me for an NFP and there are people (mostly people who know absolute ZERO about me) who think I'm SFP, but I'm telling you, there are NFs who strip. Or do porn. Or whatever.

I don't like your analogy. I find it absurd.
I know by the way. :wubbie:

Sorry, it was bad humour. I had a feeling it would get you fired up as soon as I posted and had an urge to remove it but resisted.

Was just saying he's still as single as me. We both fail.
I have friends from high school who work in the industry.
I am very liberal and my intonations were absurd. Was having a poke at me being a total fail at life yeah.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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Messages
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I know by the way. :wubbie:

Sorry, it was bad humour. I had a feeling it would get you fired up as soon as I posted and had an urge to remove it but resisted.

Was just saying he's still as single as me. We both fail.
I have friends from high school who work in the industry.
I am very liberal and my intonations were absurd. Was having a poke at me being a total fail at life yeah.

:hug:

I ain't fired up, honey.

You ain't seen "fired up." ;)
 

Vamp

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2010
Messages
579
MBTI Type
ENFP
Really? Do you seriously think this is relevant? You think Ns never look at porn or go to strip clubs?

What about an NFP who has worked in the adult industry? Are you able to wrap your head around that?

I've been told that I have a "sensuality" about me for an NFP and there are people (mostly people who know absolute ZERO about me) who think I'm SFP, but I'm telling you, there are NFs who strip. Or do porn. Or whatever.

I don't like your analogy. I find it absurd.

I don't think the point of the analogy was that divisive or intended to imply NFPs wouldn't work in the sex industry. I think the point was that S's usually concern themselves with concrete things while N's concern themselves with complexities that aren't physical while an S wouldn't bother. => That an S would not concern themselves with the psychological ramification (positive or negative: all of it) of sex work while an N would on instinct. You can't tell me that you, even though you are involved in sex work, only take it as face value. We all know the difference between S and N and that was a perfect analogy. If it isn't "real" the S doesn't care.

I get sore at S's for not even considering these kinds of complexities ("who cares? the girl is naked and I like it" kind of shallowness they display when confronted with complexities) and I got exactly what he was talking about. Again, I don't think the analogy was intended to be divisive or negative towards sex work.
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
I'm not sure which side of the fence I'd sit on there, I definitely wouldn't be as dismissive as that guy sounds, I like delving into why people do things and complex things are interesting.
 
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