[ENFP] Do ENFPs Know the Meaning of Personal Space?

[You]

Just say "Fuck You."

 

[Moiety]

Just say Fuck You.

Lol I even say that to people who ask for a hug....

Seriously, this specific lack of backbone just makes me lose faith in human nature.

 

[Vamp]

Lol I even say that to people who ask for a hug....

Seriously, this specific lack of backbone just makes me lose faith in human nature.

lol I always feel that way when I read these situations. I sometimes have issues with being aggressive but I don't let my feelings remain a mystery for long.

 

[targobelle]

um I have huge personal space boundaries, to the point of my hubby (entp who is at times overly affectionate) cannot come into my sleeping space.....

sorry he's an entp you're overly affectionate thought to be enfp..... hon he's an entp

no enfp that I know would be so inconsiderate to make you feel uncomfortable they would in turn feel uncomfortable, sorry

 

[Vamp]

no enfp that I know would be so inconsiderate to make you feel uncomfortable they would in turn feel uncomfortable, sorry

Almost every enfp that replied has said exactly that.
There's another enfp commonality.

 

[targobelle]

and also the more immature he is the more uncomfortable he would feel.... you cannot sum this up to an age thing

 

[mmhmm]

when i was younger i had no concept of this at all.

 

[Fidelia]

I've found with the ENFPs I know that they are strangely uncomfortable with physical proximity (and I'm not a terribly touchy person and don't usually initiate contact unless I think we're pretty close and they'd be receptive) rather than being touchy feely. In a couple of cases I felt quite embarrassed for initiating what I thought was natural and very natural, appropriate, heterosexual, same sex, good friend contact and got a very awkward reception. Despite being warm and bubbly people, I think ENFPs have their own distinct sense of space and you have to really be in the inner circle for them to feel really comfortable with it.

 

[Fidelia]

I also used to find it harder to draw firm boundaries for other people, hoping that they would just pick up on the hints I gave them. Since then, I've realized that verbal and non-verbal behaviours need to match for a clear message to be transmitted. It is much more considerate and safer for yourself to give clear messages to others. You don't have to tell someone to F off, but it is only right if they are ignoring your boundaries to verbally redraw them and then take action if they do not respect that by moving, removing yourself, or taking a big step back in familiarity in the relationship.

 

[You]

I've found with the ENFPs I know that they are strangely uncomfortable with physical proximity (and I'm not a terribly touchy person and don't usually initiate contact unless I think we're pretty close and they'd be receptive) rather than being touchy feely. In a couple of cases I felt quite embarrassed for initiating what I thought was natural and very natural, appropriate, heterosexual, same sex, good friend contact and got a very awkward reception. Despite being warm and bubbly people, I think ENFPs have their own distinct sense of space and you have to really be in the inner circle for them to feel really comfortable with it.

Even a girl I really liked broke the touch barrier too soon once and I drew back. We were walking and she wraped her arm around mine and I looked at her like "WTF?"

 

[skylights]

I've found with the ENFPs I know that they are strangely uncomfortable with physical proximity (and I'm not a terribly touchy person and don't usually initiate contact unless I think we're pretty close and they'd be receptive) rather than being touchy feely. In a couple of cases I felt quite embarrassed for initiating what I thought was natural and very natural, appropriate, heterosexual, same sex, good friend contact and got a very awkward reception. Despite being warm and bubbly people, I think ENFPs have their own distinct sense of space and you have to really be in the inner circle for them to feel really comfortable with it.

ooh, that's interesting. and here i was assuming i'd be odd ENFP out.

i am very picky about who i am physically comfortable with. it's like levels of comfort and "closeness". i am comfortable being physically smushed against my very good friend of 4 years whereas i am not comfortable with much contact with my very good friend of 8 years. but my 4-year friend is much more like me in terms of ideals and i find her more physically smooth, while my 8-year friend and i share some very different opinions idealistically and she is much more physically awkward. i feel like my 4-year friend and i are very much on the same "level", and it's easier to be physically in touch with her. i trust her more, in general and with letting our physical space overlap. i am also just more physically comfortable being around my size or bigger people. littler people i worry that i will squish or something.

how do other types feel about physical space? actually, wait, this probably calls for a new thread...

 

[stalemate]

I'm generally really sensitive about personal space and not very touchy at all, but one time I was on an architectural cruise of the Chicago River and there was another couple with us. After I rambled on about something for a while there was a pause and I looked down and I had my hand on the other dude's thigh for no telling how long. We laughed about it but did not continue the bromance any further.

 

[Lady_X]

I'm generally really sensitive about personal space and not very touchy at all, but one time I was on an architectural cruise of the Chicago River and there was another couple with us. After I rambled on about something for a while there was a pause and I looked down and I had my hand on the other dude's thigh for no telling how long. We laughed about it but did not continue the bromance any further.

i wonder if it's because i/we already feel a bit overwhelmed sometimes from others emotional energy that to hug...just seems like too much...unless you're very close already.

 

[Little Linguist]

Dude. I'm never touchy-feely. It makes me uncomfortable that I might be making the other person uncomfortable even if the person is not uncomfortable. I only hug people I know it's okay to hug, and even then I'm insecure and thinking throughout, "How should I hug? Am I hugging too much, too long, too hard, too soft? Should I give a pseudo hug or a real hug?" Or maybe the other person gets the wrong idea. They think you mean X when you mean Y, and that's just embarrassing.

The only person I really feel comfortable hugging is my husband. Then I don't give a rat's ass. I just hug him however I feel like (along with other things ).

Even then, I know there are times where touching is off-limits. Like if my husband is concentrating, I know to stay the fuck away if I wanna live.

 

[StrawMan]

I think the guy might be ESFP or ENTP? They could be flirtatious too. ESTP probably would have too different vibe to be mistaken for an ENFP.

How can I get the ENFP in question to back off and respect my "introvert space" without hurting him, preferably, because I'd like to be friends if possible?

I'm not sure if you can be friends with him, it sounds like he was coming on quite strong there. You could have just told him to take his hand of your thigh or calf, he shouldn't take offense in that.

 

[tortoise]

I'm not sure if you can be friends with him, it sounds like he was coming on quite strong there. You could have just told him to take his hand of your thigh or calf, he shouldn't take offense in that.

Well, you can tell him you want to be 'just friends' with him but it's up to him to decide whether or not he wants to be in the painful position of a friendship with someone he's attracted to when the feeling isn't mutual.

 

[Vamp]

I can be touchy feely if someone needs comfort whether they admit to it or not. Some people I love to mess with by getting all cutesy-huggy like with my emotionally distant (kinda) tomboy friend "mama loves you *glomp*" just so she'll shake me off.
And if I interested in someone sexually I'll welcome touching.

But in general unless irl trolling a good friend is on my mind I'm encased in bubblewrap.
Once, a girl I had met two weeks before went to side hug me and I totally shut down. She picked up on it. I felt bad. C'est l'vie.

 

[Destiny]

Are you sure those people are ENFP and not ESFP?

Reading this reminds me of an ESFP in real life who doesn't respect my introversion and kept invading my personal space. The ENFPs that I know in real life often appear like introverts, they are quiet, reserved, deep thinker, and they often keep to themselves. And every once in awhile, they will pop out some insightful comments about people. They often wear a smile on their face, the charismatic yet reserved and daydreamy philosopher who always have a friendly look on their face and who always inspire and encourage people to go after their dreams in life, yep, that's an ENFP.

 

[Masokissed]

[MENTION=10082]Starry[/MENTION] Maybe these personal space lacking "ENFPs" are the "People's ENFP" ESFJs you've theorized.

 

[Chrysanthe]

The ENFP girl I once knew and now regretfully miss ; - ; I originally felt violated by. It's all because of her almost constant need to be around me, and how she wouldn't stop taking group conversations and relating them to me, usually with half-teasing statements. Like, if the topic were about terrorists, she'd find the most odd of connections between me and terrorism like: "Oh yeah, [DarkMagician] probably enjoys watching little girls get demolished in the blink of an eye... wouldn't be surprised if he invented ISIS. Isn't this true, [DarkMagician]? Have you been planting bombs underneath this carpet this whole time we've been speaking?!"

and... I sorta just shrugged and nodded, maybe with a "yep. I think so."