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Thread: NF Honesty?

  1. #51
    Senior Member Froody Blue Gem's Avatar
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    I'm not brutally honest in the least bit, and will go out of my way to beat about the bush if I think someone's feelings will get hurt. There are times, I admit I'm not completely honest with myself though. Sometimes when there's a hard truth, or if there's a situation I'm avoiding, I think unrealistic positive thoughts, or push it to the back of my mind. I will sometimes keep things from people, and am a private person, but I don't have the intention of deceiving or being malicious.

    There are occasions when I'm in a pinch and may resort to dishonesty but this is rare. Honest in general, I would say so and am a terrible liar. I find trust to be an important thing and in order for that, honesty goes hand in hand, and someone doesn't have to be rude or brutal in order to be honest and trustworthy imo. Trust has to be built and earned and it is a two way street. It's very unsettling for me when people accuse me of lying, especially when I'm not. Though there are certain people who think those things must go hand-in-hand or else, there is no honesty.
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  2. #52
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    I’d say at times I’m brutally honest, though that’s likely atypical for an INFP. In my job sometimes I trend more toward INTP so facts and data are behind that mindset.

    One of things that really frustrates me are people who bend the truth and lie in order to tell their bosses and other “important” people what they want to hear, and paint a rosier picture than what is reality.

    My knowledge combined with my personality allows me to see through that. INFP’s are notorious for being good BS detectors. Management doesn’t share that trait, so they buy it and what that means essentially is that dishonest people are rewarded for their dishonesty.

    When I see people treated poorly for simply stating the facts of the situation, that really ticks me off. Same people in that case want to shoot the messenger when they may have zero fault in what went wrong.

    It’s sad but often true, in business, in government, and all over society, the liars get rewarded.
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  3. #53
    Senior Member Ace_'s Avatar
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    Most NFs I've encountered are not brutally honest, but they are decent people. Unlike some NTs, most NFs have "tact". They will skew the truth often to make people feel good. But they might also use those powers for their personal gain.

  4. #54

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    I don’t lie to wreak havoc, intentionally harm someone, or to manipulate a situation to my advantage. I am garbage at lying unless it is to spare someone unnecessary pain. I try to be honest but tactful when possible. However, if someone has pissed me off, I will tell them exactly what I think of their behavior and will tear them a new one (I should clarify that I mean verbally tear them a new one, I don’t go around starting physical altercations).

    (I just dropped a ‘m because I typed I’m instead of I. Happy? You damned nosy edit system.)
    Last edited by Population: 1; 06-09-2019 at 11:36 AM.
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  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Population: 1 View Post
    I don’t lie to wreak havoc, intentionally harm someone, or to manipulate a situation to my advantage. I am garbage at lying unless it is to spare someone unnecessary pain. I do try to be honest but tactful when possible. However, if someone has pissed me off, I will tell them exactly what I think of their behavior and will tear them a new one.
    Same. It doesn’t happen very often, but I’ve let a few people have it when they had done something I (or more specifically someone else) found unacceptable, and a few others I sternly warned and they backed off.
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  6. #56

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan the INFP man View Post
    Same. It doesn’t happen very often, but I’ve let a few people have it when they had done something I (or more specifically someone else) found unacceptable, and a few others I sternly warned and they backed off.
    Yes it’s not commonplace and it’s something I’ve grown more accustomed to as I’ve grown older. For me it’s usually after someone has attempted to manipulate a situation or person subtly or has tried throwing their weight around blatantly.

  7. #57
    Muffin Monster Earl Grey's Avatar
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    I don't quite understand how 'straight shooter honesty' seems to be a trait more commonly attributed to Ts (not that that is what OP is doing), when say, the Fi function is all about authenticity. How does that work?

    As for brutal honesty, I heard somewhere that people advocating for 'brutal' honesty is really going for the brutality more than the honesty. Facts are facts and truth are truth no matter how you package it up, it's just that some methods of delivery are more efficient than the others.
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  8. #58
    Digital ambition Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    In my experience they are generally honest, until something big and bad comes along. Since in that case they will probably either sweep it under the rug or find a way to get through this as subtly as possible.

  9. #59
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devil Flamingo View Post
    there is very little use or need for lies.
    A woman once said to me, "I will lie to someone's face to avoid conflict." If the need to avoid conflict is that strong, lying does indeed have a purpose. The only positive I found in her statement was that she was conscious of her behavior and knew exactly why she was doing it. I forgot - that was a woman who actually took the MBTI and came out INTJ. I still don't buy the letter T in her result.
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  10. #60
    Senior Member Zhaylin's Avatar
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    I don't remember what, exactly, I read to give me this idea, but I tend to think of myself as an Elf when it comes to the truth (at times).
    Example: Husband asks if I bought myself anything to eat when I picked up his dinner. I reply. "Yes, I got some baconator fries." But I omit the fact that I also bought a bacon cheese burger and got a 64 ounce frozen Coke as well. I omit it because I don't want to hear him call me fat or make some other jab that always comes after I'm completely honest.
    I'll use truth in the same fashion for other things, as well, if an outcome would cause too much conflict or hurt another person.

    For outright lies, though? Nah. I always tattle on myself lol. "Did you clean the room?" Someone might ask. "Yep... no, I'm lying, I didn't do squat today."

    I prefer to be a straight shooter, though. It's too much effort to remember what was omitted and to whom.

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