[INFJ] what makes an infj happy?

[SilkRoad]

When I was an exchange student in Finland (which is generaly filled with very reserved people) it wasnt for a month or two before I made any friends, and not until 7-8 months later that I developed any deep connections. Funny thing, though, is that I have more friends over there than here in the States. Maybe people there could relate to my dour mood better than the people here

I find it so funny how Finland seems to keep coming up on this forum... (I'm half Finnish).

I live in England (though I grew up in Canada). I guess Finns are even more reserved than your average English person (though I find it hard to talk about an "average English person" unless you break it down into the different social classes), but I have found that it takes time to really establish a deep friendship with an English person. (I know people of many nationalities here, so only some of my acquaintances/friends/close friends are English.) Years, sometimes. I have friendships here which I feel have taken that long to progress from acquaintanceship, to friendship, to close or closer friendship. Yet, I feel that these types of friendships can be the most lasting and valuable once they are ultimately established.

 

[ItsAGuy]

I find it so funny how Finland seems to keep coming up on this forum... (I'm half Finnish).

I live in England (though I grew up in Canada). I guess Finns are even more reserved than your average English person (though I find it hard to talk about an "average English person" unless you break it down into the different social classes), but I have found that it takes time to really establish a deep friendship with an English person. (I know people of many nationalities here, so only some of my acquaintances/friends/close friends are English.) Years, sometimes. I have friendships here which I feel have taken that long to progress from acquaintanceship, to friendship, to close or closer friendship. Yet, I feel that these types of friendships can be the most lasting and valuable once they are ultimately established.

Agreed with that last part in particular (heh, i'm actively befriending a girl from wales, actually) ... still, when you do that, it's that much more ruinous when life tears you away from it all.

 

[SilkRoad]

Agreed with that last part in particular (heh, i'm actively befriending a girl from wales, actually) ... still, when you do that, it's that much more ruinous when life tears you away from it all.

Indeed.

By the way, on a lighter note...if you're befriending a girl from Wales, DO NOT imply that she is English or from England. England and Wales are both part of the UK but culturally they are effectively separate countries (as Scotland is as well.) You are probably well aware of this, but it's worth reiterating. People here can be touchy about that.

 

[ItsAGuy]

=) thanks... at this point I'm planning a springtime trip probably to do a couple successive 'hiking' vacations in wales and ireland (btw, is springtime advisable?... I was told the last two aprils were unusually sunny but don't count on it.)

 

[SilkRoad]

You can get anything at all in the UK weather-wise. April can be nice. It can also be horrid. I'm not sure if there's any month where this doesn't apply. Actually, I think April or May could be safer bets than some other months. It's true that the last couple of years the spring was nice. We had a few horrible summers and a slightly better one this year, but not that great.

 

[ItsAGuy]

I'm still stuck on this issue, really (not related to UK). I kinda wish I hadn't mentioned my situation since the question was supposed to be higher level than that... still, I'm in this weird conundrum of being being told 'you've gotta be happy before entering a relationship' but 'i need a relationship to be happy.'

The latter should not be true; there's got to be a way to be self-satisfied whilst alone... I just don't know I've ever experienced that.

 

[SilkRoad]

I'm still stuck on this issue, really (not related to UK). I kinda wish I hadn't mentioned my situation since the question was supposed to be higher level than that... still, I'm in this weird conundrum of being being told 'you've gotta be happy before entering a relationship' but 'i need a relationship to be happy.'

The latter should not be true; there's got to be a way to be self-satisfied whilst alone... I just don't know I've ever experienced that.

I do think that you need to be at least somewhat at peace with yourself before entering into a relationship... If you go into it with the assumption that the other person is going to fulfill all those unfulfilled needs and make you happy, disappointment is bound to follow. Not saying that's necessarily your approach...but still...

 

[ItsAGuy]

I do think that you need to be at least somewhat at peace with yourself before entering into a relationship... If you go into it with the assumption that the other person is going to fulfill all those unfulfilled needs and make you happy, disappointment is bound to follow. Not saying that's necessarily your approach...but still...

No, I think that's the part that's itching me. Still, I suppose there are certain needs (genuine ones) that I cannot satisfy for myself, so being 'at peace' is the best that one can hope for.

 

[Skyward]

I do think that you need to be at least somewhat at peace with yourself before entering into a relationship... If you go into it with the assumption that the other person is going to fulfill all those unfulfilled needs and make you happy, disappointment is bound to follow. Not saying that's necessarily your approach...but still...

That's the main fact that makes me very wary of relationships, and my wonder at if I will ever have a relationship. I have the impressions that the internal disquiet will be part of who I am for a long time.

 

[You]

World peace.

 

[ItsAGuy]

I think part of this is that, having been uprooted from my native soils unwillingly, I'm alone in a new place and, being INFJ, I don't establish new bonds easily. Further, I don't want to STAY here, so I really don't want new bonds here that'll get uprooted again. I may well be putting toooo much hope into this potential relationship, when under normal circumstances I could get my weekly fix of human interaction from a wider (if still small) array of living beings.

PFF, maybe I need a pet.

 

[ItsAGuy]

World peace.

World pieces, more likely.

 

[Tiltyred]

A pet is a good idea.

 

[angell_m]

drugs can do wonders

 

[alexx]

An ENFP and a shared silly-switch.

 

[jdmn]

People who follow the same activities, music or art tastes as them. People who have similar points of view, or if not, people who can respectfully debate about many topics. They also like emphatetic people who can understand their motives, nothing like good quality analysis. In short, INFJs are happy when surrounded by people of thought, principles and action, specially when related with humanistic ideals.

 

[PsychedelicPlatypus]

African Clawed Frogs make THIS INFJ happy

 

[melissa27]

-Spending time with my husband and son, especially seeing how happy my son feels when we do something he likes, like when we monopoly
-Having a big fat kitty sit on my chest and purr in my face
-When my dog follows me around the house and sits right by me just because I am there
-Chocolate and coffee
-Seeing someone who is the underdog or struggling with something overcome a challenge
-Interacting with friends who truly get it and listen without judging or put-downs
-Moments when I feel oneness and acceptance for the way things are