[ENFP] ENFPs and the source of their energy

[tortoise]

Its because well rounded is defined in SJ terms. I think ENFP, or any type, can be well rounded.. it's matter of avoiding stuff that ISNT for you. You dont need to get organized, you dont need to be more "down to earth" to become well rounded. Actually, preventing yourself from being You by trying to organize yourself and stuff, will make you even more extreme ENFP...

i basicaly dont like when i read that enfp well rounded sounds...weird... it's just prejudice.

Funny you should say that. I've recently been locked into a situation where there have been real pressures on me that have meant that I couldn't avoid doing stuff that relies on my weaker functions. It was horrible but I did manage to get through it with some very strict scheduling and self-discipline. But when it ended, I went FLAMBOYANTLY ENFP, like completely undisciplined, all over the place, Ne charging ahead, Fi barely getting a word in edgeways. Te completely ground into the dust.

 

[You]

I smoke weed and have sex.

 

[Chloe]

Funny you should say that. I've recently been locked into a situation where there have been real pressures on me that have meant that I couldn't avoid doing stuff that relies on my weaker functions. It was horrible but I did manage to get through it with some very strict scheduling and self-discipline. But when it ended, I went FLAMBOYANTLY ENFP, like completely undisciplined, all over the place, Ne charging ahead, Fi barely getting a word in edgeways. Te completely ground into the dust.

i've been thinking about this.. because i know someone who, just like me, (i live with 2 STJs!!! imagine that!!!!!!!) has very different/ opposite type parents and is very very expressed in his type (INTJ), so.. one would expect that he as INTJ with EFP parents will learn to be more EFP.. but nah, he says it effected him to be even more INTJ.

i guess when our top functions arent encouraged or we arent allowed to use them... it stops developing other functions.. BECAUSE, (this is working theory made right now haha) we develop other functions OVER our top functions... so... ex.. if you learn with your hands (NeFi), but they pressure you to learn with your legs(S-T)... despite doing [the thing you are trying to learn] for years, you wont integrate it because your natural preference is for hands-learning.

 

[tortoise]

i've been thinking about this.. because i know someone who, just like me, (i live with 2 STJs!!! imagine that!!!!!!!) has very different/ opposite type parents and is very very expressed in his type (INTJ), so.. one would expect that he as INTJ with EFP parents will learn to be more EFP.. but nah, he says it effected him to be even more INTJ.

i guess when our top functions arent encouraged or we arent allowed to use them... it stops developing other functions.. BECAUSE, (this is working theory made right now haha) we develop other functions OVER our top functions... so... ex.. if you learn with your hands (NeFi), but they pressure you to learn with your legs(S-T)... despite doing [the thing you are trying to learn] for years, you wont integrate it because your natural preference is for hands-learning.

Yep, exactly, precisely. I am very much opposite to the family I grew up in. I wonder if a lot of ENFP folks didn't really fit in to their families? Now that they're not around any more, it adds to my annoying loneliness that just won't go away!

 

[Chloe]

Yep, exactly, precisely. I am very much opposite to the family I grew up in. I wonder if a lot of ENFP folks didn't really fit in to their families? Now that they're not around any more, it adds to my annoying loneliness that just won't go away!

my dad died, my mum is still alive (ISTJ) and yeah, despite being very opposite i imagine i will be lonely when she dies.
also she's in 50-ies and she started to understand me much much more, it's refreshing. i am just going started to encourage my "unrealistic" ideas though she still wants me to be SJ. only recently i figured it will never work if i dont seperate from her.

stopping with offtopic.

 

[Moiety]

Yep, exactly, precisely. I am very much opposite to the family I grew up in. I wonder if a lot of ENFP folks didn't really fit in to their families? Now that they're not around any more, it adds to my annoying loneliness that just won't go away!

Try living with 5 Js at home all telling you what to do (all older than you too).

Taking advice from an ISTJ dad is also hilarious.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

No joke, I think a feeling of inferiority is a big motivator. I'm not the first one to propose inferiority as a motivator, but I think it's real. All people are motivated to some degree, by a sense of inferiority and lacking. They do things to feel a sense of completion until that wears off and they need more and more. Some of the ENFPs I've met struggle with inferiority more than others, I've found, and I think it motivates a lot of their decisions, especially interpersonal decisions.

 

[KDude]

Don't get me wrong, I do have the same kind of stuff in my inner world
But, to get it, I had to be exposed to a certain type of book when I was a child, which was handed to me by my father. I have to go and see things in magazines, on the internet, hear people talking about it. I *love* the internet for that reason, anything I catch a glimpse of, I can go look up and learn more about. I'm constantly gathering info...and the prettiest bits in that info, I keep..I stash them in my Fi-world, kinda like you would decorate your room to be a safe haven. As a child, that world needed decorating a lot more than it does these days of course..so Ne had its work cut out

I also struggle with harmonizing that ideal world with reality, though I've found that easier these days. You learn


The thing is, real world comes and drags you back anyways (work, studying, chores, groceries, etc etc). You cannot stay cooped up there forever..so when you do go out in that real world, you might as well collect some shiny

Yeah.. It definitely has to come from somewhere. And I used to take the plunge into "real shiny" far more often too (I've got more notches on my belt than I ever lead on, I guess). I just think.. somewhere along the line, I settled on Fi dom maybe (if that's possible) and that's what has been directing me for years now. So I'm more stationary and focus Ne in a pickier way. It's so easy to do too, like you said (books, internet, etc). I know I've missed something about many areas in real life though. I'm just fed up because it's now shooting me in the foot. "Chores?" I take impracticality to another level. I'm starting to resemble this girl. Except I am not female or in my underwear at the moment (feel free to add that to your fantasy gallery btw ).

 

[Amargith]

Oh...I will

I know *that* feeling though. I have to say, when I get a chance to NeFi freely, the cleaning up is a nice way to give my brain a rest and digest. But if I'm obsessed with a new shiny ( I gather knowledge for fun, basically, due to Ne), the house can explode, I won't notice. Same if I'm mulling some inconsistency over in Fi..I'm simply not at home at that point. Please try again later

I have become more focused and pickier about what I let Ne go nuts on these days though (Te?), as otherwise there's no point..there's just a half dozen unfinished projects that I never really fully got to the bottom of
I also have done several things already so I no longer have that 'Oh o h oh and this and this and this!' or rather..not as much anymore

 

[Betty Blue]

The sun it a great provider of energy for me.
Also knowing that however bad it gets it's only temporary. I believe that knowledge comes from suffering (not all obviously).
I once read a very interesting passage drawn from some religeous text or other but i found it really very moving, it went something like this (ad-lib)

John lived a simple good life, he was a married man and always treated his wife with love and respect, he had several children all of whom he loved dearly and treated equally, he worked hard and was devout in his beliefs.

One day John was cast into eternal darkness by God.
John called to God
"God why have you punished me by casting me into this darkness? I have always been true to you, i have never doubted. I have loved and cherished my wife and children and worked hard all my life. God what have i done that you should cast me here into eternal darkness?"
God replied
"John, you have indeed been all of those things and i have watched you grow.
But you are mistaken, i have not placed you here to punish you for anything you have done wrong. You are a good man. I have placed you here so that you may be a guiding light to others"

The end/

Although i do not have a religion, this little story appeals to me in so many ways and sums up a little of how i remain optomistic.

 

[SecondBest]

^^ It's true. Light shines brightest in the darkest places.

 

[Moiety]

Gem: the one comforting thing about down times is that it so plunges me into philosophical considerations, people around me tend to swept into conversations regarding the meaning of life and surprisingly it seems I tend to captivate them and make them think about their own life. And usually our friendship tends to get deeper in the process.


ThatsWhatHeSaid : What would be our particular feeling of inferiority? Knowing we live in internal and external dystopia and wanting to overcome that?

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

ThatsWhatHeSaid : What would be our particular feeling of inferiority? Knowing we live in internal and external dystopia and wanting to overcome that?

I wasn't thinking something so broad, but maybe there's a connection. I was thinking something like being overly sensitive and constantly making comparisons to ideals. It would explain low self-esteem (sensitivity + focus on what you lack) as well as the need to fix the world (reach an ideal) for which your heart aches (sensitivity).

 

[Moiety]

I wasn't thinking something so broad, but maybe there's a connection. I was thinking something like being overly sensitive and constantly making comparisons to ideals. It would explain low self-esteem (sensitivity + focus on what you lack) as well as the need to fix the world (reach an ideal) for which your heart aches (sensitivity).

Hmm...I think ENFP self-esteem is pretty hypocritical. We tell ourselves we are shit but deep down we know we are awesome. It comes from wanting to wallow in self-pity even when logic dictates things aren't that grim. It's the only sensible way to justify not being hyper optimistic - being the complete opposite. Gray is a dull color for a feeler.

 

[animenagai]

The points the OP made certainly help, but honestly, I think the answer may be much simpler than that. I think ENFP's just have a natural playfulness and curiosity for things. That works in a few ways. for example, say I had something bad happen to me, I will pretty much always think up a related joke and suddenly start smiling again. I think life is just full of fun in general. A lot of topics can be interesting to me, especially ones where I can use my Ne (which is pretty much everything). I feel like I'm in a playground all the time, so how sad can I be?

 

[Queen Kat]

I only have a lot of energy when I'm happy. The happier I am, the more energetic I come across as. But sometimes I tend to come across as a huge ball of energy, even though I'm not happy, but in those cases I only pretend to be happy and hide away the bad things going on right then (I don't talk about my problems openly).

 

[Lady_X]

I wasn't thinking something so broad, but maybe there's a connection. I was thinking something like being overly sensitive and constantly making comparisons to ideals. It would explain low self-esteem (sensitivity + focus on what you lack) as well as the need to fix the world (reach an ideal) for which your heart aches (sensitivity).

yeah...i'm not sure you're paying attention if you think enfps have self esteem issues.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

yeah...i'm not sure you're paying attention if you think enfps have self esteem issues.

Umm okay. Would you like to explain WHY you disagree with me?

 

[Vamp]

Hmm...I think ENFP self-esteem is pretty hypocritical. We tell ourselves we are shit but deep down we know we are awesome. It comes from wanting to wallow in self-pity even when logic dictates things aren't that grim. It's the only sensible way to justify not being hyper optimistic - being the complete opposite. Gray is a dull color for a feeler.

What about modesty? I keep myself in check whenever I might be getting a swelled head by thinking about my flaws. That my be feeding my negative feelings about myself, tho.

 

[Moiety]

What about modesty? I keep myself in check whenever I might be getting a swelled head by thinking about my flaws. That my be feeding my negative feelings about myself, tho.

Exactly, it's a forced exercise. You have to think about your flaws....but the natural tendency is for your head to swell.