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[INFP] INFP = Hypocritical & Selfish.

flameskull95

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Jun 21, 2009
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314
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Are we?

I.E - Don't you feel like telling some people to 'suck it up' or 'put your act together'.
But then not saying it 'cause you'd notice how hypocritical we'd be because we would probably and might obviously do the same.
 

Savage Idealist

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Aug 17, 2010
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ENFP
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6w7
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sp/so
Since when are INFP's the type to tell people to "suck it up" or "put your act together"? If you ask me that almost sounds like the opposite of an INFP.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Hmmh... I don't know. I've never been one to tell other people what to do... unless asked for and demanded (over and over again)... I really dislike saying anything definitive about that. There are no fail-proof responses to any situation and I would have to be in that situation to know what to do and even then I don't know if my way would be the best. So, I think I am not hypocritical.

I am selfish on many levels, though... but many of these include unselfishness. For example, I like helping people. So, I help them out of selfishness.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
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7,626
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INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
I don't see myself as hypocritical, although I am sure I am not perfectly consistent (as no one is). As for "feeling" like telling someone something dismissive because of being annoyed emotionally by them, well of course I feel that sometimes. It's my values that prevent me from giving into such a feeling. I don't see that as hypocritical so much as not giving into every emotion.

As for selfish, I prefer "self-absorbed" which is less about ignoring the needs of other people than being oblivious because I'm lost in my own head. When I am aware, then I am usually not selfish.
 

Snuggletron

Reptilian
Joined
Sep 25, 2009
Messages
2,224
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
10
oblivious and self-absorbed better fit the INFP, and sometimes it's not so cute. I mostly find it irritating as hell, but that's where the hypocrisy comes in.
 

infpBlog

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Feb 24, 2010
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INFP
I find INFPs a bit ironic at times. It's ironic that INFPs want the world to accept them for who they are, but I read so many threads on INFPs forums are INFPs denigrate other people as shallow for liking small talk or reality tv. We want the world to judge us for our values but we seem to judge others for their values quite often.

As for being selfish, I think INFPs like everyone else are just dealing with personal hurt. It's hard to help others when you're still trying to fix yourself.
 

flameskull95

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Jun 21, 2009
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Since when are INFP's the type to tell people to "suck it up" or "put your act together"? If you ask me that almost sounds like the opposite of an INFP.

If you're implying I'm an ESTJ/ISTJ, I can't be, I've gone over that option and I actually started off mbti thinking I was ISTJ, then INFJ then I looked at functions and found out that I was actually INFP, except my Te is stronger, like an INTPs.... so that's where that 'suck it up' stuff probably comes from, was just wondering if it was an INFP thing also.
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
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2,152
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XNFP
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5w4
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sx/sp
Yes, I am. And I've actually said that...sort of the last straw sort of thing. Having admitted that though, this particular "friend" had a track record and a mean temper if things didn't go her way. Most people walked on egg shells around her. Am I going to hang my head in shame? No, it shocked her completely it came from me, and she did actually get her together for a bit.
 

flameskull95

New member
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Jun 21, 2009
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314
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INFP
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4w5
I find INFPs a bit ironic at times. It's ironic that INFPs want the world to accept them for who they are, but I read so many threads on INFPs forums are INFPs denigrate other people as shallow for liking small talk or reality tv. We want the world to judge us for our values but we seem to judge others for their values quite often.

As for being selfish, I think INFPs like everyone else are just dealing with personal hurt. It's hard to help others when you're still trying to fix yourself.

Very true my friend. :)
 

flameskull95

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INFP
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Yes, I am. And I've actually said that...sort of the last straw sort of thing. Having admitted that though, this particular "friend" had a track record and a mean temper if things didn't go her way. Most people walked on egg shells around her. Am I going to hang my head in shame? No, it shocked her completely it came from me, and she did actually get her together for a bit.

lol. My whole family is like that. But have never come around to say anything like that to them, because they've probably viewed me like that too, and I haven't heard anything like that from any of them either.
 

KDude

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Jan 26, 2010
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8,243
I rarely tell anyone to put their act together. Unless it's on the highway. Maybe I have a bad case of road rage or it's an ugly shadow Te, but quite often I'm thinking to myself that people need to get their act together, in so many words. Maybe this is normal.. Lately, I've been extra freaked by driving.

I'm more hypocritical in a Fi-Fe sense.. I like to consider myself cooperative, but I struggle between wanting to cooperate with conventional standards and following my own.

edit: Of course, if something's bad, I'm going to fight about it. I guess if you call that "telling people to put their act together", then yes, I do. I don't consider myself a hypocrite for that though.

I just don't generally get into a supervisory mode and start telling people to get their act together or to suck it up. Most of the time, I'd probably tell the person who's telling someone else to suck it up that they need to chill out and look at how someone is suffering. Not a big fan of tough love.
 

Savage Idealist

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Originally posted by flameskull95
If you're implying I'm an ESTJ/ISTJ, I can't be, I've gone over that option and I actually started off mbti thinking I was ISTJ, then INFJ then I looked at functions and found out that I was actually INFP, except my Te is stronger, like an INTPs.... so that's where that 'suck it up' stuff probably comes from, was just wondering if it was an INFP thing also.

I wasn't implying that you were ESTJ or ISTJ, I just meant that in general INFP's don't typically say things like that, but they can sometimes. I mean I would be lying if I asserted that I never say those things to people sometimes (actually perhaps you were right on the hypocrite thing). I apologize if I offended you in any way.
 

runvardh

にゃん
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Jun 23, 2007
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It happens, it's frustrating, then again some things I end up learning too. The refining of anything is never pretty and employs as much destruction as it does construction.
 

tkae.

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Never.

If anything, I'm likely to over-coddle people.

I am hypocritical and selfish though. I always talk about everyone getting along and letting go of negative feelings, but I'm horrible about holding grudges and actively hating people for various reasons (resentment for being mean to me, etc).

But in the situation you've described? No. Never.
 

flameskull95

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I wasn't implying that you were ESTJ or ISTJ, I just meant that in general INFP's don't typically say things like that, but they can sometimes. I mean I would be lying if I asserted that I never say those things to people sometimes (actually perhaps you were right on the hypocrite thing). I apologize if I offended you in any way.

I wasn't offended.... just the facts. lol. :)
 

rowingineden

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Jul 21, 2010
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107
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iNfp
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9w1
Uh, no, I'm pretty much the opposite of that. Which is not actually fortunate for me, because I tend to be the only one. So other people end up taking advantage of me a lot.
 

Maizy

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Sep 16, 2009
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INFP
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9w8
I've no qualms telling someone something along those lines. I don't feel hypocritical for it, because I feel it's what I've had to do to get along. But it's not so much what you say as it is how you say it.

Berating someone to be proactive will not get anyone anywhere.. a bit of encouragement may push someone to make a positive change and "get their act together."

Also, I am heavily influenced by my line of work. I work at at DV/Homeless shelter and there I've seen how enabling can hurt more than it heals.
 

KDude

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I worked at a homeless shelter once before too. I never spoke to anyone in a counseling type of way like you it seems.. I was just there to help around. Kept some people company, tried to make friends, etc.. But, there was one incident where a drunk kept knocking on the door after hours, acting belligerent. Then we tried to talk him away, and he broke through.. I almost beat the guy up. I kicked him out.. but in an extreme case like that, then yeah.. I'll berate someone.. "Get it together.. also, get the hell out of here too.. " :blush: I just don't know how to be so authoritative in a casual setting. Maybe if I really had a leg to stand on, but honestly, I have my own problems. I have no place to speak like that with the majority of people.
 

craigensa

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Sep 5, 2010
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ISFP
I have an INFP female friend (told her to take the test and she came out as definite), and I thought they were good listeners...recently when I've been upset or something and I've come on fbook chat to her, she would start talking to me asking what was wrong, I would go into a bit more detail and she would make maybe one comment and then go offline, not texting me or anything. This isn't really like her...we've been there for each other in the past. I was genuinely upset...parent issues...divorced but still living together and they're both being horrible.

Is there something wrong with her that she's not telling me about? I concede that I had a moment with her when I told her I liked her...unreturned...so we spent a few months out of contact then got into contact recently. She sent me a very sweet card on my bday not too long ago and it seems like things are all good. Is there still residual fallout? It seemed like she was being very hypocritical by just not paying any attention to me, as she has mother issues too.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
Are we?

I.E - Don't you feel like telling some people to 'suck it up' or 'put your act together'.
But then not saying it 'cause you'd notice how hypocritical we'd be because we would probably and might obviously do the same.

Sometimes a person need to hear those words.

Sometimes I need to hear them.

So what? we're all imperfect. :solidarity:(I like this one!)
 
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