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[ENFP] Reaction to emotional problems in ENFP and INFP

Chloe

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how would it manifest in ENFP and in INFP? what's the difference?
I know "theory" about loops... but I am more interested about what did you notice around you?P
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
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I loop whenever I do not find a satisfactory answer, and it is even worse because when I was developing I was encouraged to develop Fe, not really Fi.

So when people ask me, "What do you need? What do you want? What do you feel inside?" I am completely off-guard, stumble, um and uh and ah, and have to say, "Hmm, don't know." And that pisses people off because OF COURSE YOU KNOW - you don't want to say! You are not a retard! And when you say, "Well, I guess I am a retard because I really haven't the faintest idea," they think you are being sarcastic until you yell and say, "STFU I DO NOT KNOW!"

And so you go in little brain flips because you are trying to find answers, then analyze the answers, and none of the answers fit, so you brainstorm for answers, and none of the answers fit, so you brainstorm again (this is what people call 'brooding'.)

Then you just get pissed because you wanna be over and done with it, but you cannot because you don't let yourself settle, so you just say, "-UCK IT! I am going with this, right or wrong, because I am sick of this cat crap cream." After that you seriously regret it because somehow you knew it was wrong, but damn it, you're sick of sitting in cat crap cream, and you just think, "Okay what the eff ever." And you're all grumpy and shit, but you cannot fix it, so you start doing random crap to get your mind off the fact that you're really not happy anyway, and well who gives a rat's fat behind because you didn't really know what you wanted anyway, right?

After you sit down and realize my god what the hell is my life all about anyway because I don't even know what my life means and what I want and is it even about what I want and does that even help anyway nah not really but damn it but yes and no together and well, hmm, maybe this but perhaps that.

Finally Te comes down and says STFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! You listen to me or you die. RIGHT NOW. NOW damn it. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW and Ne says Rhymes with cow and Te says I really don't give a rat's ass, sit down and listen to me and do my shit.

And that's pretty much what looping is. :cheese:
 

Rebe

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unhealthy fi -

- very judgmental and critical of other people based on one's own rigid ethical code, the code just gets irrationally rigid
- excessive anger to make the other person feel guility even when it has nothing to do with them, emotional outbursts
- very manipulative
- avoidance
- moods and feelings that yo-yo
 
Joined
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How is avoidance unhealthy?

Count me the ways, I guess.
 

skylights

i love
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so/sx
unhealthy fi -

- very judgmental and critical of other people based on one's own rigid ethical code, the code just gets irrationally rigid
- excessive anger to make the other person feel guility even when it has nothing to do with them, emotional outbursts
- very manipulative
- avoidance
- moods and feelings that yo-yo

this is pretty much how it manifests in me, minus the first bullet.

unhealthy Fi in me is when it stops Te from functioning correctly and starts to bug the shit out of Ne because it won't let Ne attend to the things that are actually interesting outside of me before overanalyzing EVERY LITTLE DAMN Si THING FIRST.

heyyyyy pay attention to meeee i'm hurrrrtt wahhhh

Little Linguist said:
Finally Te comes down and says STFUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! You listen to me or you die. RIGHT NOW. NOW damn it. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW and Ne says Rhymes with cow and Te says I really don't give a rat's ass, sit down and listen to me and do my shit.

:yes:

NeTe saves me from FiSi. but FiSi also saves NeTe from getting out of control and hurting people. it's good balance.

it was funny to me to read that Te is my "relief" function because Ne is much funnier than Te. but Te really takes the load off when i'm overwhelmed and my first two preferences just aren't able to handle things.
 

Rebe

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How is avoidance unhealthy?

Count me the ways, I guess.

Instead of communicating in a healthy, effective, mature, simple manner, I shut down, do not speak to you, do not explain, do not share my feelings...I may stare angrily at you. Meanwhile all the other person wants is an explanation to resolve whatever the issue or to help but I am so hurt all on my own that I refuse to speak. :doh: Avoidance. I prolong problems.

My NeTe likes to go out and play and stir things up...my FiSi just whines all day long.
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
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I think nebbykoo means Fi - Fe debates and analysis is a constant around here...
 
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Instead of communicating in a healthy, effective, mature, simple manner, I shut down, do not speak to you, do not explain, do not share my feelings...I may stare angrily at you. Meanwhile all the other person wants is an explanation to resolve whatever the issue or to help but I am so hurt all on my own that I refuse to speak. :doh: Avoidance. I prolong problems.

My NeTe likes to go out and play and stir things up...my FiSi just whines all day long.

Interesting. This seems like an exercise in imagination, as if it's going in a childrens picture book.

Personally, I feel refreshed being alone to satisfy myself through my first three functions. It's kinda difficult for me to separate them. But being in the zone is default, following my nose while consciously recognizing what is/isn't worth spending time on. I don't really worry about Te not being there because for the most part it can accomplish what needs to be when the need arises; it's not as if it's really necessary in daily conversation.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
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No offence intended.

the 'feeling' function already is overburdoned by negative stereotypes, so it strikes me as just more piling-on to ask about something that is considered by many to be 'unhealthy' by nature. (I don't hold this opinion at all, but it exists, at least on this forum)
I also don't think that it's unhealthy in the least to be defensive of one's self when you live and work in a social structure that celebrates and encourages behaviors and beliefs contrary to your own.
So NF's, instead of obsessing about what the dominant paradigm, in its short-sighted self-importance, thinks about what it tells you you are, why not celebrate what you really are? You are intelligent and sensitive, and the world needs MORE OF YOU.
 
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That's what I was implying. Tag for graveyard.
 

Chloe

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The focus of the thread (how i imagined it) was on difference in Fi when its unhealthy in ENFPs and in INFPs. not on bashing Fi.
 

Jaguar

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- very judgmental and critical of other people based on one's own rigid ethical code, the code just gets irrationally rigid
- excessive anger to make the other person feel guility even when it has nothing to do with them, emotional outbursts
- very manipulative
- avoidance
- moods and feelings that yo-yo

Only 1 out of 5 of those somewhat pertains to Fi. #1.

The F function, regardless of attitude (I or E), is not about physiological emotions, yo-yo moods, avoidance, anger, guilt, manipulation etc.
Fi is evaluative in nature and is a JUDGING function. It is used to evaluate what someone or something is worth - how important is it?
Nearly everything you listed falls outside of what Fi actually is.

You aren't doing yourself, or anyone, any favors by ascribing negative behavioral patterns to a valuable mental process - Fi.

This thread title should be changed to: "Things that have nothing to do with Fi."
Furthermore, how does Ne-Te "stir things up"? Do they sprout little legs, then run into Neiman Marcus to commit robbery?
 

Chloe

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Only 1 out of 5 of those somewhat pertains to Fi. #1.

The F function, regardless of attitude (I or E), is not about physiological emotions, yo-yo moods, avoidance, anger, guilt, manipulation etc.
Fi is evaluative in nature and is a JUDGING function. It is used to evaluate what someone or something is worth - how important is it?
Nearly everything you listed falls outside of what Fi actually is.

You aren't doing yourself, or anyone, any favors by ascribing negative behavioral patterns to a valuable mental process - Fi.

This thread title should be changed to: "Things that have nothing to do with Fi."
Furthermore, how does Ne-Te "stir things up"? Do they sprout little legs, then run into Neiman Marcus to commit robbery?


but how would you then address problems with feelings some NFPs run into, and ... NTPs for ex dont??

I didnt read any other Fi threads, didnt follow them passionately, I just wanna know about *problems with feelings* that NFPs have.

I guess for sake of not making this thread into huge drama i will have to change the title.
 

Jaguar

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but how would you then address problems with feelings some NFPs run into, and ... NTPs for ex dont??

I didnt read any other Fi threads, didnt follow them passionately, I just wanna know about *problems with feelings* that Fi have.

I guess for sake of not making this thread in drama i will have to change the title.

See, this is why I would love to kick Jung's ass. Lol.
Back in 1935 the guy gave a 3-day lecture where he admitted his own definition of the FEELING function would certainly be confused with how people commonly used the word in relation to one's emotions. But then he even went so far in that lecture to actually define an emotion!

Emotions can certainly pump up the volume on Fi judgments, but Fi is not about emotions. Unfortunately I could explain this 150 times in this forum and people would still drag Fi through the mud. People don't "drip" with Fi, or "hit" someone's Fi. In both cases those comments refer to emotions, rather than an evaluative mental process.

As to NFP vs NTP, I don't profess to know an individual person's emotional capacity based upon 3 letters. But then I don't read tea leaves, either. ;)
 

KLessard

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unhealthy fi -
- excessive anger to make the other person feel guility even when it has nothing to do with them, emotional outbursts
- very manipulative
- avoidance

Jaguar, I think a lot of these can, in fact, be related to Feeling as a judging function...

Being manipulative and making someone feel guilty suggests that you consider your views to be more valuable and you are trying to prove it.
Avoidance suggests that the way you are feeling is more important than the way others are feeling in a problematic situation. (I've felt this in a recent conflict with a Fi-dominant person).
 

cascadeco

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Jaguar, I think a lot of these can, in fact, be related to Feeling as a judging function...

Being manipulative and making someone feel guilty suggests that you consider your views to be more valuable and you are trying to prove it.
Avoidance suggests that the way you are feeling is more important than the way others are feeling in a problematic situation. (I've felt this in a recent conflict with a Fi-dominant person).

I think the point is that none of these behaviors are restricted to F's. T's do them as well, and T's also utilize a feeling function - either Fe or Fi. T's can often consider their own views more valuable than that of another, and often try to prove that, and T's are certainly not immune to avoidance.
 
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