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[ENFP] ENFPs post breakup

Moiety

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ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?
 

Esoteric Wench

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It takes me a VERY long time to completely let go. Tooooooo long. And, even if I'm with someone new, I still think of the ex often.

It's not that I want to get back with the ex. It's just that as an ENFP, I build my whole world around my closest relationships. So when one of these dies, I have to go through an extended grieving process because part of me has died.

With some life experience, I've come to realize that it's not that I can't get over the relationship, I'm just grieving for death of the life I thought I'd have with that person.
 

angell_m

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Really? "THAT" long? I spend like a year to get over shit.
 

Betty Blue

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ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?

:hug:
 

ilovelurking

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Very good thread!

I've been wondering about this for a very long time. Years, actually.

Keep going... :)
 

CzeCze

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ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?

Take a long time being single is my advice.

I think ENFPs are either pre-wired for sex/affection/relationships --> pick two.

+ Bad impulse control + No patience = Bad Idea

I've been technically single for a year and I realize it actually does take this long (for me) to clear the air and make room for XYZ. Even just, you know, "companionship" during this time where the air isn't clear isn't so great. And that's a damn shame. ;_; LOL

I remember when INFPs told me they take 1-2 years to get over someone I'd think - "you wusses! thank god there's some other grown up NF's like me to pick up the slack!" :steam::workout: LOL True story. But, now I get it my introverted brethen. I'm sowwy. :hug:

LOL but srsly I think many ENFPs have a tendency to jump to soon to the next distraction, especially you ADHD Ennegram 7's!! :steam::devil:
 

alcea rosea

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Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

In my younger days it didn't take me long time to get over somebody. I mean first it felt like the end of the world, I did my grieving and after a month or so I was ready to move on. And I've never looked back if I noticed that it was done with.

+ Bad impulse control + No patience = Bad Idea


LOL but srsly I think many ENFPs have a tendency to jump to soon to the next distraction, especially you ADHD Ennegram 7's!! :steam::devil:

What CzeCze is saying :laugh: especially the bolded part.
I think I might be Enneagram 7 too, althought not 100% sure about it...

I'm happy to be married currently and not being bothered by these things. But who knows what will happen in the future...
 

Nonsensical

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Who knows... there will be bouts of time where you think you're golden and over it, but something will pop back up and the levies of all of your harbored and past memories will pour open and you'll be back to the day after the breakup.

Chances are, you'll always have feelings for this person. Even when you find someone you love, it won't be the same. Not worse, but different. Just got to stay strong and realize you're going to face this shit you're whole life.

I don't fit in with CzeCze's description of many ENFPs. I don't "jump to the next distraction" that bogus. Not how Fi works in my mind.
 

alcea rosea

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I don't fit in with CzeCze's description of many ENFPs. I don't "jump to the next distraction" that bogus. Not how Fi works in my mind.

I would say it's more likely Ne working rather than Fi. ;)
 

alcea rosea

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^ok, I understand what you mean there. I'm more "driven" by Ne in situations described in this thread.
 

Nonsensical

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^ok, I understand what you mean there. I'm more "driven" by Ne in situations described in this thread.

Fair enough. Sytpg is talking about the hardships that Fi might bring about post breakup. And the few times that ENFPs do get down, they get reeeaally down. Which is a total Fi trait when emotions get fucked up.
 

VanillaCat

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ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?
I think it just depends on who it is.
But I would say it's really hard for me to get over them =X


Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again?
Not for me. I'd still like the other person at the same time.. =/ always thinking, "Maybe HE's the one and maybe I'm making a mistake." But I get over it once I think about all the reasons why he's definitely -not- the one.

Are you still friends with your exes?
No. I tried but I only ended up flirting with them or having awkward conversations.. and they're never the ones to initiate conversation so I don't try to talk to my exs anymore.

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?
I always dated the person I liked anyway. I did feel it was wrong because I'd still think about the other person, but I just dwell on things too much, especially "what could have been." Of course, I'm only getting these answers from my last experience with my ex. It's hard to get over someone when one day they just stop all contact with you over something you did, without a chance to explain yourself or at least say goodbye or something. Basically.. he wanted to go out with me -a lot- and I kept telling him I'd think about it, because I did like him, but i was really with someone else. he was always going after other girls and he would insult me and threaten me, so I didn't feel bad since he was such a jerk to me. I didn't know who to choose. Somehow he found out I was with someone else.. Damn INTJs.. and stopped talking to me. Of course, I could have kept calling him in the following weeks or something, but I didn't wanna be his "puppy dog" anymore. I was done with begging for him & it's not fair that he did so much bad stuff & i always forgave him, and then when I do something even slightly bad, he hates me and that's that. Even after I was "done" with him, I would still think about him all the time. Constantly! And my F part of me felt soo in love with him but my T part was all like "forget him he did this, and this, and that too, so he obviously doesn't care about me." Then I just got over him because my boyfriend now is so much nicer & also, not seeing him or talking to him helped a lot too. I hope this helped you understand what an ENFPs brain thinks through a breakup & getting over someone ^_^ or at least mine.
 
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2XtremeENFP

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ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

I was broken up with one that I remained friends with, and after 2 years, I still wasnt over him. It could have been because we remained close friends though... well.. yeah, that was probably why.

Other relationships, I get over the 'person' but not the 'relationship', like I miss the jokes, the memories, the dates, but not necessarily the person, so its like my heart said bye bye but my mind still wants and misses the fun times.


Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?


No, I think that's unhealthy to only let yourself get over someone once you fall in love with someone else. That's a big mess, I think. And yep, I am still friends with them.

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop
?

YES!!!! I often tried to talk to my 'new relationship' about the hesitations I had since my heart was still somewhere else, but they never truly understood why i felt it was wrong, they just said 'well i know you arent over them, but thats ok, ill help you through it.'

I dont need someone to help me though it... then i'll feel like I am using them, and that is the LAST thing id ever want to do
 

Arkhangelsk

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I don't know, but as an INFP it takes forever. Six months so far and still going strong.
 

stringstheory

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ENFPs, how long has it taken you to get over a significant other in the past?

anywhere from months to days. I had an old boyfriend who broke up with me very suddenly after a 1.5 year long relationship. I was confused and heartbroken for about 3 days until i found out he cheated on me many, many times; then i was confused and angry. I chain-smoked and bitched to a friend for about a couple more hours and was over it immediately after.

Do you think it's true that you only truly get over someone once you fall in love again? Are you still friends with your exes?

In the case of my first long-term relationship, it took me about 3 months to get over it enough to start talking to him again, and until my next serious relationship to be fully over it, so for me yes, i believe it's the best way to truly get over someone provided that things just didn't work out.

and he is the only ex that i am still good friends with, because it was one of those "childhood friendship turned romantic" things and it was really important for us to not lose this friendship.

Have you ever had the chance to meet new people (romantically) months after the breakup and still felt it was wrong to take things forward because your heart still ached? When did it stop?

Not necessarily months after the relationship, and not so much because i thought it was wrong to take things forward i guess, but simply because i still hurt and wasn't over it enough to be interested in taking the chance. once i left the stage of analyzing everything that went wrong and accepted that it wasn't my fault, then I regained that interest. In the case of the better breakup i still missed him and thought about him but i just accepted it as part of the grieving process and knew that once i met more people, and hopefully someone i liked, that it would eventually pass. In the case of my first serious relationship, it took me about 3 months to get to that point. In the case of the other guy it took me less than a week :alttongue:
 
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