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[INFJ] INFJ facial expression

Lily flower

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I am an INFJ, and I feel like I am usually in a content or pleasant mood, but my husband says that my face always looks sad or depressed. Is there any way to appear more positive? I don't want the world to think that I am down all the time.
 

mochajava

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How do you dress? I'm starting there because it's way easier to change than your face, you know?
 

DJAchtundvierzig

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I usually have 3 facial expressions. "The shit grin" As my mother calls it. :D The zoned out look,:mellow: And the "I'm so depressed and I hate my life look" as my friend calls it. :dry:

I'd say try and laugh at anything even if it's not funny. Because the only time I look happy is when I laugh...so yeah. It's not much, but it does help with me anyway. Sorry if this asn't what you were looking for.
 

mochajava

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Someone told me today that I take a long time to laugh... that is, I laugh at few of her jokes. She thought it's because I didn't find them funny... I know it's because I don't realize she's joking. What to do. I wonder if the 'neutral' facial expression is part of exuding a constant air of seriousness though? And is it just a matter of showing people you like them / want to be with them in other ways?

If you're usually in a content or pleasant mood... that is AWESOME! Are you sure it's your face? I'm skeptical that you could have a dour expression all the time... I really am. Is it a health thing? Can you explain more?
 

CuriousFeeling

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I've been told that my expression looks a bit intense, like I am pissed off or an "authoritative librarian". It can be a bit intimidating for people. I suppose I can be a bit intense, but the smiles come when I lighten up a bit and actually take time to laugh, or when something makes me really happy.
 

mochajava

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Okay Curious, I have got to see a photo... an authoritative librarian? The phrase is entirely too good. Shh!
 

priestessofmars

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I am an INFJ, and I feel like I am usually in a content or pleasant mood, but my husband says that my face always looks sad or depressed. Is there any way to appear more positive? I don't want the world to think that I am down all the time.
Yeah I've gone through life with people asking me "whats wrong?" cause I'm not sitting around smiling all the time for no reason.
Why do you want to appear more positive? If you are content, and the people who are close to you know that, then it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks.
 

Words of Ivory

facettes de la petite mor
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Well, this (<-- link) is my happy face, so make of that what you will.

People tell me I always look serious, sometimes even sad, even when I'm feeling happy. Based on the replies so far, that also seems to be a common occurrence.

People I'm close and intimate with tell me that I have an "intense" look at times. I tend to be extremely focused on the actions and reactions of those around me, so that might have something to do with it.
 

Random Ness

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I wonder if the 'neutral' facial expression is part of exuding a constant air of seriousness though?

That's it for me. My P friend is like, "Why are you so gloomy all the time?!?" and it's like, this is my neutral expression! I'm just a serious person.
 

mochajava

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Well, this (<-- link) is my happy face, so make of that what you will.

People tell me I always look serious, sometimes even sad, even when I'm feeling happy. Based on the replies so far, that also seems to be a common occurrence.

People I'm close and intimate with tell me that I have an "intense" look at times. I tend to be extremely focused on the actions and reactions of those around me, so that might have something to do with it.

You're good-looking, Words of Ivory :) When you post a picture, these sort of things tend to happen! I think it might be your posture in the shot and the fact that you're sort of looking up at the camera... I don't think you should change or anything, but I just wonder if the "you look down" think people often get is just something really subtle, like the fact that I wear black 90% of the time and am super task-oriented at work... I know super-intense women who just smile a lot -- that tends to keep most people at bay.
 

mochajava

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You look sassy to me. Your expression says that you're about to start dishing fun snark about life and everyone you see. You also look like you won't take any crap. I like that...
 

CuriousFeeling

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You look sassy to me. Your expression says that you're about to start dishing fun snark about life and everyone you see. You also look like you won't take any crap. I like that...

:smile:

Indeed. I don't take any b.s. at all. I am a romantic first and foremost, but I will put my foot down when necessary.
 

Billy

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I am an INFJ, and I feel like I am usually in a content or pleasant mood, but my husband says that my face always looks sad or depressed. Is there any way to appear more positive? I don't want the world to think that I am down all the time.

Haha people tell me that all the time, I am not usually feeling much of anything, but my natural facial resting position looks either sad or annoyed. I have learned to wear a fake smile when I am around people though, much easier then anything else. You can tell when my smile is genuine though vs not... when I fake smile just my lips curl, when I real smile my eyes squint.
 

Onceajoan

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I am an INFJ, and I feel like I am usually in a content or pleasant mood, but my husband says that my face always looks sad or depressed. Is there any way to appear more positive? I don't want the world to think that I am down all the time.

Me too. I wonder why that is? Why are some INFJs like that? Maybe it's our serious side. My ESFP friend is always telling me to "lighten up" or "come on, have fun", "be happy", "aren't you having a good time" when we're out at a bar or a concert. The thing is, I am having fun. I just can't plaster a phony smile :D on my face to please others. I wish I could because then I would be more approachable. :hi:
 

Rachel

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Yeah I've gone through life with people asking me "whats wrong?" cause I'm not sitting around smiling all the time for no reason.
Why do you want to appear more positive? If you are content, and the people who are close to you know that, then it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks.

Well, this (<-- link) is my happy face, so make of that what you will.

People tell me I always look serious, sometimes even sad, even when I'm feeling happy. Based on the replies so far, that also seems to be a common occurrence.

People I'm close and intimate with tell me that I have an "intense" look at times. I tend to be extremely focused on the actions and reactions of those around me, so that might have something to do with it.

Haha people tell me that all the time, I am not usually feeling much of anything, but my natural facial resting position looks either sad or annoyed. I have learned to wear a fake smile when I am around people though, much easier then anything else. You can tell when my smile is genuine though vs not... when I fake smile just my lips curl, when I real smile my eyes squint.

Got too many complaints about my facial expressions over the years, so i changed, now i'm more facially engaged and relaxed, but still feeling quite fake and uncomfortable. I'm grateful that it makes people feel more comfortable around me but feels awkward.
 

mochajava

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I realized that on video chat when I smile way more during the conversation people are just automatically happier/more open... weird! But I have read that people who cannot smile for medical reasons - like they truly actually cannot - have difficulties forming relationships. So maybe there is something here. Also, if you smile, you can trick your own subconscious into feeling happier too... so there is something to all of this!
 

animenagai

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lol I find this thread funny :D. This "you can't tell but I'm quite emotional" thing is really coming out.
 

Jongloress

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Words of Ivory- I would very much suspect that what people are seeing (or atleast what I see) is that your eyes don't seem to fully connect with the outside world. I can definately relate to that...I think it's a strong tendency among people who spend a lot of time roaming around inside their own heads to find the outside world to be a bit too loud and harsh, and to keep one foot inside that nice quiet introvert world to protect themselves. Unfortunately, people who aren't strongly introverted view this as being somehow evasive, even rude.

I wish I had some great words of wisdom to help, but I'm afraid I still learning to manage my face. People often interpret my being quiet/reflective to recharge my batteries as being antisocial, and my explanation of "No, I'm not angry I just really want to be alone right now doesn't come across any better".
 

OrangeAppled

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My INFJ has the classic "Ni face", which is generally inexpressive & sometimes appearing stern, in pain ( the INFJ "martyr face" :D), or just outright blank. He does smile & show expression at times, but even other people largely regard his face as impassive. In close company his face can really light up, but it's not typical. I realize how significant it was when we first met that by the end of the evening his expression towards me was downright glowing at times.

My aunt identifies as INFJ, but I see her more as eNFJ because she is very expressive. I know it's not the perfect way to type someone, but the consistency of other Ni-dom to be impassive makes her the odd one out, whereas ENFJs usually come across as consistently expressive.
 
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