• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] Ask an ENFP

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

Absolutely. The hard part is trusting that the ENFP knows enough about themselves to tell the truth about it.
 

oneandonly

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
109
MBTI Type
INFJ
Absolutely. The hard part is trusting that the ENFP knows enough about themselves to tell the truth about it.

Those 2 things seem incongruent. Is there a propensity to lie about transgressions? if they occur?
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Those 2 things seem incongruent. Is there a propensity to lie about transgressions? if they occur?

I meant for the ENFP to understand enough about themselves to be able to truthfully say that they are committed to you. This isn't so much about lying, but about hoping for something that may be beyond them and their personal experience.

As far as cheating and lying, well, that isn't about types that's about cheaters and liars. Are you two on the same page? Does he explicitly know that you expect exclusivity?
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Can you count on an ENFP to be committed??

Yes. We're a hopeful bunch which is what qlip is alluding to I think. We can fall into idealization and then get hit with the less rosy truth like a ton of bricks. But I think we're also very sensitive to the health of the relationship and happiness of our partner, and most ENFPs I know are often the first to bring issues up and try to find a win-win solution.
 

oneandonly

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
109
MBTI Type
INFJ
I meant for the ENFP to understand enough about themselves to be able to truthfully say that they are committed to you. This isn't so much about lying, but about hoping for something that may be beyond them and their personal experience.

Yes. We're a hopeful bunch which is what qlip is alluding to I think. We can fall into idealization and then get hit with the less rosy truth like a ton of bricks.

Okay I understand... it's like promising flowers in Winter.
 

oneandonly

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
109
MBTI Type
INFJ
He was my soulmate. But he wasn't able to be this time, not in this life, & I won't fault him for it. Because, he meant to bring me flowers. I know that to be true.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
He was my soulmate. But he wasn't able to be this time, not in this life, & I won't fault him for it. Because, he meant to bring me flowers. I know that to be true.

What happened oneandonly if you don't mind me asking? What makes you certain he's unable to deliver on those flowers? FJs think a little differently...a lot differently concerning these things it seems. Compelled to have things neatly *finalized* at all points on the map...when we're merely at rest stops along the way...possibly distracted by the free coffee or lack of paper towels...but on the inside of a story that has no beginning or end.
 

oneandonly

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
109
MBTI Type
INFJ
What happened oneandonly if you don't mind me asking? What makes you certain he's unable to deliver on those flowers? FJs think a little differently...a lot differently concerning these things it seems. Compelled to have things neatly *finalized* at all points on the map...when we're merely at rest stops along the way...possibly distracted by the free coffee or lack of paper towels...but on the inside of a story that has no beginning or end.

He overestimated his ability to start a new relationship. After we were already in one. He wasn't ready. He went back to his ex-girlfriend. But I had fallen already, trusting his words, I disregarded some subtle signs. I did not want to believe it wasn't meant to be, because the connection felt with him was so strong. He had his share of problems, PTSD, War Veteran, Anxiety. But we were both enamored with eathother. He just couldn't move forward.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
He overestimated his ability to start a new relationship. After we were already in one. He wasn't ready. He went back to his ex-girlfriend. But I had fallen already, trusting his words, I disregarded some subtle signs. I did not want to believe it wasn't meant to be, because the connection felt with him was so strong. He had his share of problems, PTSD, War Veteran, Anxiety. But we were both enamored with eathother. He just couldn't move forward.

Whoa. Things got all changed around in my mind with the introduction of War Veteran.

I know an individual that works with Veterans struggling with PTSD. I was disappointed to discover one evening that he puts approximately zero stock into MBTI until an INFJ friend corrected my thinking by calmly asking "why would he?" "Combat related PTSD would cut deeper... far past the superficial layers of 'the personality' would it not?" I believe it would.

I appreciate your post very much.
 

Starry

Active member
Joined
May 22, 2010
Messages
6,103
Thank you all for helping me understand better, I wrote the best song of my life tonight. You can guess what it's called :)

I'm glad for you oneandonly although once you expanded on your story... anything "helpful" I had in mind to say to you fell apart.

I thought about this situation a little more though and my gut tells me he shut everything down prematurely for fear his issues would ultimately cause you harm/exploit you in some way.

I still want to be named on the album though...
 

Hitoshi-San

New member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
1,078
MBTI Type
esfp
Enneagram
???
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
What is the most common misconception people have about ENFPs, and what's something people should really know about them?
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What is the most common misconception people have about ENFPs, and what's something people should really know about them?

We're not nearly as fuzzy as people think we are. When it comes to matters of values we hard-line. And we aren't as compliant and aimless as people think we are. As most people do, we have ways of directing our lives and effecting our environment. Our end goals just happen to usually be possibility, which only seems pointless. Our methods involve positioning people and externals and riding them 'out',
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
We're not nearly as fuzzy as people think we are. When it comes to matters of values we hard-line. And we aren't as compliant and aimless as people think we are. As most people do, we have ways of directing our lives and effecting our environment. Our end goals just happen to usually be possibility, which only seems pointless. Our methods involve positioning people and externals and riding them 'out',
I was having trouble thinking of a response to this question and I think you did a great job.

Maybe your fresh enlightenment is showing.
 

skippythecat

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2013
Messages
48
Enneagram
9w1
Is it a trait of ENFPs to get moody at someone's change of mind at the last minute (even when you change your mind for the millionth's time)?
 

Qlip

Post Human Post
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
Messages
8,464
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Is it a trait of ENFPs to get moody at someone's change of mind at the last minute (even when you change your mind for the millionth's time)?

Well, yeah. It may be very ENFP to change your mind, but I think it's very anytype to be upset at changing something you were looking forward to. It's a pretty standard form of hypocrite.
 

Riva

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
2,371
Enneagram
7w8
I've never seem an enfp (or infp) take part in a political thread. Are you folks unaware or dont care?

Perhaps it's the live and let live thingy.
 

Riva

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2014
Messages
2,371
Enneagram
7w8
Wait che guevera is an enfp (or enfj).

So an nfp wouldnt get interested in politics unless they feel there should ne a complete rebellion i guess.
 
Top